I'm 18 now. Pretty much missed out on high school. No friends, never had a girlfriend...

why do you waste your life wondering if you should kill yourself instead of just improving it? I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who is only interested in being that way.

I don't know if it's possible to improve it, and if so how.

And none of them will have those friends and girlfriends now when they move away to college or wherever. Once again, you are literally a kid. Nobody your age has ever accomplished anything. Everyone is a complete loser like you. Stop whining.

Honestly youre probably fucked. You havent explained why you have no friends. If its autism and/or stupidity, rather than shyness, then your brain isnt wired to do these things. If your good at anything, run with that and see where it goes

Get a grip of yourself user. I'm you but 20. I went through the same black pilling moment as you, and I understand the dread that comes with it. Its good that you are self aware about your state. What you need to do now is to realize that where you are now is mostly your fault (although I'm sure the family relations might throw a wrench in that). My social anxiety and quiet life were due to my insecurities. Once you recognize what those insecurities are, you can begin the healing process, and honestly it doesn't take that long. I'll help you start off.

Stop coming to Jow Forums except for hobby or advice threads, and even then keep it under an hour a day. Same goes for YouTube and anything else. Drop all vidya, and all porn. Write a big list of things you've been wanting to do, and another list of things that you hate that you do (not that you hate doing). Start working towards the things on the wish list and abandoning the things on the other. This will give you a sense of validation that has been missing from your life and that can only come from yourself. You need to prove to yourself that you are capable of regular things.

It's less complicated than you think. Right now it might seem hopeless, but most people are supportive and willing to be merciful if you show sincerity and determination. You can climb out from where you are in less than a year if you can capture the right perspective now.

Yes, they would. Regardless, it's still an important experience I'd have missed out on.
Not sure. I didn't get to know anyone during HS, since that only took place during the first weeks and after that outside of school.

>several years at the very least until I was a normal person, after which I'd have missed out on many more years of life.
More like several months, fatass. Won’t take a damn 2 years to get in shape, wtf.

Yeah but I mean, this just seems disjointed. Say I stop browsing Jow Forums, youtube, etc (Which I have no idea how to do). Then what? I still won't magically start meeting people. I have no idea how to do the things I would want to do.

>how
the same way anyone without depressive traits would start fixing things. baby steps at first, though. is it really a mystery how most people are functioning in society and in the physical world in general and therefore make friends?

>why not kill myself already
Are you fucking retarded?

go up to a healthy person whos personality you like and figure out what they do, and what they have done to form the habits and relationships they current have. then you’ll understand how silly wanting it to fall from the sky is.

and you might also come to understand your own weaknesses, like maybe shit in your upbringing that was wrong or inadequate.

How many times must you be told? High school doesn't matter for shit. You're just clinging onto a weak excuse for why you shouldn't try. Are you going to continue to make pathetic excuses like a whining child, or are you going to man up and stop being a faggot?

You're 18 years old. That's waaay too old to start over and get your life together. I'm afraid your only option is to give up.

It will force you to find new things to do. It will hook you back into reality. YouTube, Jow Forums, and Vidya have all been escapist tools to stop me from looking at how pathetic I was being. Once you let them go, your free to pursue other things in your life.

I started simple. Drawing, reading, gym. I started ink and pen sketching which Ive gotten good at. I've turned reading into a regular habit when the thought of picking up a book scarcely passed through my mind. I'm stronger than I was last year. These are small things I can be proud of with or without people, and they reinforce my will to mature.

If you're 18, I assume you're going to college or getting a job. In the former, do t be afraid to join clubs, people are kind and bond well over activities. For the latter, try finding interested based meet ups. Reddit can probably help out with that, but there are rec centers and other community groups that you could probably visit. You should really first work to convince yourself that you will do this, and that you will stop running from your problems and face them.

>I'm 18

Complain when you're 40. You have a lot of time.

Im 18 too ..just do all you can do dont say no to anything live it up in collage dude

There are no such people who I could ask.
I don't know what else I'd do. I'd say to myself that I'd stop browsing it, stare into the wall for an hour, then start browsing Jow Forums again.
I did occasionally get books assigned in school. It always followed the same pattern: In class, we'd read the first 40 pages or so. This I could do without problems, in fact I was a fast reader. Then I'd never pick it up again and fail the exam, which resulted in no real-world consequences.
The same goes for exercising, which I did briefly during a period of time when I for no reason was feeling better. It just fizzles out.
I get that doing both of these things would be good for me, but there is nothing forcing me to do them, so I don't.
Interest-based meetups would be my only shot. The only ones I've found are either for foreigners to get better integrated in the country, or for IT professionals. I am going to study electrical engineering, but I don't think it'd be a good place to meet people since it's mostly business networking.
(Rec centers and community groups isn't anything I've ever heard of, and Reddit rarely holds meetups here)

>You should really first work to convince yourself that you will do this
I can't even pretend that I will, unfortunately.

Thank you for the advice. I unfortunately have no idea how to apply it.

I get that I'm young, but by the time I have my shit together I don't think I will be anymore.

>There are no such people who I could ask.
Everyone led you to water but frankly don’t give a shit if you drink it. All I can say is it’s kind of fucked you’re wasting our energy and time.