Fellas, if you landed the girl of your dreams, she's pretty much everything you wanted...

Fellas, if you landed the girl of your dreams, she's pretty much everything you wanted...but she came with bad anxiety and abandonment issues, how would you react?
If she was constantly afraid of you leaving, but she didn't use it against you or talk about it all the time, would it be okay? Even if these issues never went away? If she was an amazing girlfriend aside from all this, would you still want her?

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Yes of course.

If you ever stop playing the role of her dad it could be bad.

Then she's not the girl of my dreams if she has bad anxiety and abandonment issues.

No. I've had that. It'll get worse and become a strain on the relationship. Abandonment issues that bad need to be resolved before shes in a relationship. Unless you want to be the one to help her resolve them.

What if her family life was perfectly fine and it had to do with past relationships?

If she can eventually get better, sure. I mean i can and would help in this case but if it just goes worse and worse it just might not work out.

If you’re both good people, then that’s probably a better scenario. I guess she needs to learn to trust. Trusting someone is believing them in the absence of evidence or against the evidence.

>Trusting someone is believing them in the absence of evidence or against the evidence.

If that were true, I'd have never discovered my ex was a cheater

I mean I'm a dude and I've got some trust and abandonment issues myself. ask yourself if you could date a guy like that and you'll have your answer.

Yeah, and as I stated before, if she didn't bring it up all the time and she didn't try to make you fix her, would it still be a problem? Like if she knew when she was being irrational but the feelings were still there.

some people aren’t trustworthy, sadly

You kinda described my gf, but she had some other issues as a bonus.
My answer is yes, because there is no person without fault. I have enough patience to deal with this kind of things, and just enough faith to hope things will get better. And usually they do, with the appropiate behaviour therapy.

Don't ever make promises you can't keep. Real fucking talk, OP.

Sure, it's most likely that her need for the kind of life-long, unquestioning devotion that she seeks from you will cause her to make promises that she can't keep either.

But she might not know that she's making those promises, because it's possible that she doesn't know.

And yeah, maybe it's possible that you don't either in terms of which promises you're making... but you're the one asking the question here, which means you have the unfortunate responsibility of self-awareness.

If you think there's some way you can prove to her that you'll always love and respect her, even if you genuinely do... there isn't. You can't ever prove that to someone who, deep down, is convinced that you will ultimately fail her.

You have to decide, either now or later, that you believe in yourself more than she believes in you... because if she can't accept you as a complete and fully separate individual, then she doesn't.

This may be swinging a bit wide, but "anxiety and abandonment issues" describes a whole shitload of people.

Plot twist I'm the gf with abandonment issues

Oh, you devious succubus, lol.

If you think I'd have anything different to say to you based on that, however, then you don't understand what I'm saying.

Believing that there is some force out there who is always going to look out for you and ensure your well-being is itself a privilege.

Not that many people have it, and that's because most people will, when push comes to shove, "admit" that they are little more than biological accidents who deserve no more than the same test of nature that any animal does, which subjects them to the competition of proving their existence, and which, when they cannot, they must conclude their own inability to survive.

But you persist despite such limits, and you maintain the belief that there will be some conscious force who directly endorses your existence.

That's the error: maybe there won't be.

But only you have the ability to express what your existence is. It might be the image you project, and it might be the words you speak and write, and it might be the images you create, and it might be some inestimable confluence of all of these things.

You have only one job: find the consciousness that appreciates whatever confluence of self you must maintain.

Learn and love yourself like nobody else can, and hope that whatever exists outside of it can keep up.

The patterns you see are not meaningless. The words you write are not without an audience. You refuse to be silent, and this is why you are still alive.

Sing, muses, for you are your own to compose.

I think I might die soon.

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This sounds like the perfect girl you are describing. Yes to all of that.

Been there, done that, regret not breaking up with her sooner. If you think so little of yourself that someone with bad anxiety could qualify as "the girl of your dreams" you need to find new dreams.

Or stay mediocre and depressed, the fuck do I care?

Talking from experience as you described my girlfriend exactly, it depends on who you are. I personally am able to deal with it no problem. It gets intense at times but i'm patient and confident in our future. Weird flex but i've had a fair share of girlfriends and all of them have had some sort of mental issue to deal with, so it's not like she's the first one. I'm majoring in Psych and psychology is my genuine passion so I sorta have an inside look into other people that normies don't get and find myself drawn to these girls.
If you're not the type with the patience or know-how on how to deal with this though, i'd say it's a rough bet though. If you can't handle her emotional ups and downs the relationship will go nowhere. If you're leaving her because it's for the betterment of both of your mental health, and staying in it would only make things worse, there's nothing wrong with that it's not your fault.

if she has issues of any sort then she is not the girl of my dreams

>but she came with bad anxiety and abandonment issues,
That's my type. Brings out the whiteknight instinct in me.
It's kind of fucked up, actually.