I'll keep it short. There's a girl from uni that I've had a crush on for some time. I've talked to her about it in November and she told me she had no feelings. After that we were more distant from each other but we started talking more since this semester started. Today she asked me if I had an hour of free time because she had to kill some time before meeting one of her friends. We just walked around and talked about various stuff. Now that I think about it there seem to be 2 possibilities, either A: she thinks I have started looking at her purely as a friend and B: that she has changed her mind and realized she has feelings too. So my question is which one do you think is the case? Is B even possible? I can elaborate on some info if needed. Pic not related.
I'll keep it short. There's a girl from uni that I've had a crush on for some time...
>So my question is which one do you think is the case
Stop thinking about it so much and just ask her. If you have a crush on this girl you have a crush, there is no reason to lie to her about your intentions and interest in her. The transition from a crush to genuine love takes a lot of honestly and communication , so you just need to establish them both with this girl.
Even if she has no feelings, you do. She should know this and be comfortable with it. Just say something in a way that is a little playful but which makes her decide on how she feels again. If she decides to hang out with you for an hour again, you laugh you play etc, but while you' re both laughing say something frank and mildly flirtatious, but be coy about it a little
>You know you really are the cutest damn thing sometimes?
>No I'm serious, you are
> [insert something you genuinely like about her]
>Yeah , it's really not fair to be cute like that all the time... wow I should stop going on right now while I'm ahead. Lol sorry , I know how you feel about things.
Even is she says nothing , she is reconsidering her thoughts now. Even if you strike out , she knows forms fact you want her so if she continues to hang out with you alone... well ... then you've got a positive answer.
Damn, thanks for the detailed answer, only thing that remains is for me not to pussy out under the excuse that "it's not time yet"
Pretty much. Fortune favors the bold my dude.
>lie to her about your intentions
Spotted the woman. Only women think in this retarded way. He literally told her he liked her months ago. He’s not lying about shit, you whore.
The full quote is
>If you have a crush on this girl you have a crush, there is no reason to lie to her about your intentions and interest in her.
Maybe your autism would be satiated if you used "to hide" as a loose synonym for "lied". She distanced herself then came back to OP and started hanging out with him again, I'm just telling him to break the ice.
>Only women think this way
It's almost like I'm trying to give OP an impression of how women think you absolute moron
Also
>He
>>>>literally
>told her he liked her months ago.
Kill yourself, s oyboy
What makes you think she is into you now? All that "changed" is that she is hanging out with you again. Or, said another way, nothing changed, things just got back to how they were.
She doesn't see this a flirting or showing interest because this is how she behaved before, and she had no interest in you before.
If you can't handle her attention without reading more into it, then don't be her friend. You expect more and she has already made her feelings clear.
Well that's possibility A that does make a lot of sense, it's just the fact that we're not that close and that invitation was so out of nowhere that got me thinking.
>You're reading too much into it , just be friends
They're never going to be just friends, don't kid yourself. If he's into her or vice versa it's not going to change just because someone wants it too. You can be friends with someone who you know is romantically interested with you, and who knows maybe one day you'll finally reciprocate and feel something back.
>Nothing changed
What are you talking about? He tells this chick he wants to date her , she distanced herself, then she starts hanging out with guy 1 on 1 and nothing has changed? It's not like she's forgotten that he's into her you know
Dude, you still hope for more even after she said "no". That's why crushes are crap. You like the idea of a person so much that her actual actions don't seem to affect how you think about her.
>You like the idea of a person so much that her actual actions don't seem to affect how you think about her
Or maybe he's known this girl enough that it's actually her she likes and not just a vague idea? Just a thought
>They're never going to be just friends, don't kid yourself.
If he can't be her friend, he needs to step away. That's what I said.
Are you the same person that misquoted the other user earlier? It seems to be a recurrent theme with you.
> then she starts hanging out with guy 1 on 1 and nothing has changed?
They already did that. She asked him to wait with her for an hour, she didn't make a move. Hey, maybe she did change herm ind, but if she did she is not giving any signals. UNless OP sees something more concrete, this is just wishful thinking.
Then he would take a "no" as a "no". She turned him down. Taking the hint andm oving on is the healthy thing to do.
>negro
didn't he say nigger?
>If he can't be her friend, he needs to step away. That's what I said.
Which I why I said that you can be friends with someone who is romantically interested with you and keep their interests. It's not going to be as simple as friends being totally uninterested in each other, it rarely is. He doesn'y need to step away or distance himself and she clearly has changed her mind about something or else she wouldn't be trying to get closer to the guy she knows has a crush on her.
>They already did that and no one made a move
Doesn't mean neither of them have feelings, I'm not sure why you would apply so much agency and responsibility to her but not OP. Sometimes someone needs to break the ice and relationships don't happen merely because they were both too afraid and drifted apart
>This is just wishful thinking
You really don't understand the point of romance do you?
>She didn't give him a concrete answer
Which is why I told OP to get a more concrete answer in a more innocent manner.
>Are you the guy who misquotes the other user
No, I'm the user that was misquoted.
>He should take a no as a no
Then why didn't she take no as a no and started hanging out, alone, with the guy she knows is romantically interested in her? People do change their minds , you know
That guy’s not me, but
>If he can't be her friend, he needs to step away.
He already did. He said that she’s the one who asked him to hangout. A women giving mixed signals is not surprising, but at least we can all be in agreement that the girl in question doesn’t like OP.
My actual advice, OP, is to have a direct conversation with her. Just tell her again that you like her, and if she doesn’t feel that way, you don’t want to be in contact with her as a friend. Then you will have your answer.
>but at least we can all be in agreement that the girl in question doesn’t like OP.
and you know this how exactly? Mixed signals are mixed signals, there is no definitive answer.
>Sometimes someone needs to break the ice and relationships don't happen merely because they were both too afraid and drifted apart
OP did something and she turned him down, there no relationship there.
>You really don't understand the point of romance do you?
A crush is not romance. A one-sided works in movies.
>Which is why I told OP to get a more concrete answer in a more innocent manner.
She gave a concrete answer, "NO". She didn't give signals of new interest, that's what I said. Don't misquote me.
She asked him to wait with her, she didn't ask him out. Are you guys so desperate for attention than anything is a move for you?
>He already did.
But he still hopes more will happen. We can't talk to her, we can talk to him. He needs to take the hint.
Fair enough. It’s unlikely, but he won’t know for sure until he asks her directly.
Desu, you just sound like a bitter doomer. No, she did not give a concrete answer if she doesn't follow through with her own decisions. She is giving a mixed answer here, it's only you who wants all of this to be a simple, 2 dimensional answer of "no" when clearly , if she decides to hang out with the guy she knows has a crush by demanding he stays with her, it's not that simple. I'm not misquoting you, you're just such a gloomy person you don't realize what you're saying is wrong.
>She didn't ask him out , she just demanded that the guy who has a crush on her hangs out with her alone because she enjoys his company
Yeah, giving very mixed signals.
Yeah, but you never know. Perhaps she had someone else in mind, another guy, and he gave her the cold shoulder. It's all about communication , always.
>Yeah, giving very mixed signals.
Or no, actual frienzone. I know the term is misused a lot, but demanding stuff out of a guy that likes you and that you don't like is the actual friendzone.
He should totally ask her out and get an actual answer, but he needs to temper his expectations. He needs to understand she already said "no", and if he ignores that he will only be more disappointed if she says it again. This, as of right now is a crush, a one-sided attraction. From previous experience, we know she wasn't into him. Expecting different now is silly. It could happen, but expecting it is silly.
>I know the term is misused a lot, but demanding stuff out of a guy that likes you and that you don't like is the actual friendzone
Right... but the friendzone ends my dude. You can flirt and fuck your way out of it , these kinds of relationship fluctuate a lot actually, especially at such a young age. It's pretty clear she hasn't completely made up her mind about the guy yet if she demands that he just stays with her to keep her company even after distancing herself from him upon realizing he doesn't just like her as a friend. That's a pretty good sign m8, it means something changed, it's not a guarantee but it's a good sign.
>You can flirt and fuck your way out of it
Then it wasn't the friendzone. If she was just confused then she didn't put him in the friendzone. The friendzone is a choice, it's deciding this person's interest in her are a tool to use.
As I said, OP should ask her out and then he will know. I bet it won't work, but hey, nothing wrong with trying.
Okay, OP here, I appreciate all the discussion, but is it not possible for her to think that I no longer have a crush on her? Also after her saying no I told her that I hoped we wouldn't excommunicate each other and she agreed but it happened to some degree anyway... There was some communication from time to time but it was more about the uni work and not just friendly conversations.
That’s a terrible thought that she’s only going back to him because she couldn’t win the guy she really wanted. Highly possible though.
>but is it not possible for her to think that I no longer have a crush on her?
Yes, it's possible. I'd even say that's likely. But that's just me.