Hey anons, I was talking with a close friend yesterday night and I think I said some things that made them upset.
I've always been terrible at reading people and usually end up saying things that rub others the wrong way. is the reaction in pics related normal or is it an overreaction?
(pic 1/2)
you're both fucking stupid. is your friend a woman?
what are they upset about
i dont get it either
I can only vouch for myself, but yes that is accurate.
Lets presume for the sake of the argument that they are a woman, would that make their reaction more or less ok?
I'm not joking, I'm emotionally retarded.
Long story short, they wanted to chat, and since we're in different timezones I was going to sleep when they got home from work. I was dead tired from my shift.
To be fair to them this isn't the first time I've had to tell them I'm to tired to talk, so I guess they just got tired after a while. That's the only reason I can find.
would it be "ok" no but it would absolutely be expected. only women have ever responded to me with one word responses, the same one word response, repeatedly to make a point. it's the equivalent of a chick saying "I'm fine" when she's sad, except for anger. why they would be angry I don't get. but that's women.
She sounds moody and then apologized for it. Why don’t you ask her what’s wrong? I get irritable when I’m on my period but I never explain that because it sounds like an excuse. It happens every month ;_; I apologize but it’s getting old. Maybe it’s her hormones?
If the person is a woman, it's ok (sorta). I'm not memeing, what a shocker, but women are pants on head socially retarded. Do not mistake an army of betas orbiting for her being so cool and social and approachable. Most women act irrational, on emotion and won't think things through, and usually reply with the first thing that crosses her mind that elicits a response from the person she's replying to. You can call it "pushing your buttons". If she dislikes someone, she'll say the first thing that annoys that someone or gets an ugly response out of that someone. If she likes someone, just as well she'll respond with things that will make that someone like her more.
It's all instinctual to them, they literally don't even think about it/can't even comprehend this fundamental truth.
If the person is a guy, then he's a stupid twat and probably 14 years old.
Man fuck this bitch, she should just ghost you man.
Instead, ghost her.
Just to clarify, The blue messages are mine and they gray are theirs. I've tried asking them before, but I usually only get back a "oh nothing much".
It doesn't bother me that they get moody, if that's what it is, I just want to be able to be a better friend to them, to actually understand them.
She’s lucky to have you then.
Dear lord OP, those messages are absolute cringe. I can't say hers are any better though.
I honestly don't know what to make of all this, this is some "men are from mars, women are from venus" shit. Is it really this fundamental?
I don't think I could ever do that, they are probably the only person I've given two fucks about for a long time. I'm not talking in terms of being romantically interested, they're a generally good person and the best thing to happen to me in forever.
I don't know about that user, but thank you for saying so.
a swede
denying sex exists/matters
I want the 13 months of my life I spent in your country back
Actually no. It made me stronger in the end. Okså varför du pratar angelska med din van?
I don't want to disclose their gender partly for anonymity's sake, also I wanted to get a gauge of how normal their response is regardless of gender.
Did something happen while you were here user? (Regardless, I can understand what you mean, this is a depressing country).
Och jag pratar engelska för att hen är Amerikan, it would be silly if I tried to speak swedish with them.
user, gender isn't an excuse for rude and shitty behaviour. If she can't use her words to tell you what's wrong, then she isn't worth your time. This is very juvenile behaviour, and if she's over the age of 18 she really has no excuse.
t. femanon
I know you're right, and I thank you for your perspective.
This person has seen me through the worst period of my life, I don't want to sound melodramatic but I don't think I would be here today if it wasn't for them being there.
I don't mind them acting the way that they are, I just wanted to get some input from you guys, so that I might better understand.
I want to thank all of you who responded to this thread. I don't know if I'm any closer to understanding, but it has given me some well needed perspective on things.
I understand. Yeah, I did, but it's not important I'd rather not go into it.
Your friend is acting shallow. Hen is not caring about you, but still wanting attention for henself. They are wrong to talk to you like that, no matter what you do. Simple. Hen's wrong.
But you made a mistake too, I'll try and help you see it.
From the little glimpse you posted, you are too needy. You should be a giver and not a taker.
>I think you would notice if I stop typing
>"Please validate my existence! Tell me you care about me!"
>I think I should have phrased that differently
>"*poutyface* I did a booboo... tell me everything is ok"
>I'm tired l, it's been a long day....
>"PLEASEEEEE validate me! I want you to like me! The fate of my emotions are in your hands!"
So the mistake you make is not understanding yourself well enough. You're not putting your thoughts into words properly. You're saying one thing, but asking another. And it's needy.
Meanwhile, you could have instead spent these messages giving HEN attention, being interested in hen, and offering hen cheer.
Imagine you're like a boulder, solid and stable. You understand yourself well and are a master of your emotions. YOU radiate security to your friends, and need nothing in return. It's an altruistic game, and as a result, your friends adore you.
Given the messages you posted, I know that's probably a stretch for your personality, no offense, but strive for an ideal. A little love will go a long way.
This cut deep, but that's most likely because it's true. I don't want to appear this way at all.
Just to clarify, at the time of the messages I was fresh off of an 11 hour shift and was dead tired, though it doesn't invalidate your point.
>Imagine you're like a boulder, solid and stable. You understand yourself well and are a master of your emotions. YOU radiate security to your friends, and need nothing in return. It's an altruistic game, and as a result, your friends adore you.
I want to be this person, but how do I go about it when I can't even identify the issues I need to work on by myself?
Meant for
It's introspection. That's the trait you need. You really need to understand yourself. Your question in the OP is "Can't read people!". To understand others, you first have to understand yourself. You can only grasp the experiences of other people through your own human experience. This is, partly, because language is so limited.
>how do I go about it when I can't even identify the issues I need to work on by myself?
The things that gave me the most introspection in my life were:
-Learning lessons "the hard way", falling on my face
-LSD/psychedelics
-Good advice from loving friends
-Meditating, or just sitting and thinking about stuff a lot
Other ideas I can offer you:
-therapy
-reading or self-help books
-recording yourself talk, or keeping a diary and reading it later
Notice you asked me how to solve a problem that you can't even identify. I hope you understand the difficulty in answering that kind of question. This is one of the mysteries of life... we are to set out and discover all that we can. I think, how you can explore yourself, will ultimately be a very personal choice and you yourself need to figure it out.
I hope that helps some.
Believe in yourself. You can do it. I was a super autistic sperg when I turned 18. you wouldn't believe the progress I've made these last 10 years. I believe in you, too