My wife is fat, infertile, and lacking a strong sense of sexuality. She has a beautiful face, enjoyable personality...

My wife is fat, infertile, and lacking a strong sense of sexuality. She has a beautiful face, enjoyable personality, a great work ethic, and a strong sense for family.

As a friend, I absolutely enjoy spending time with her. As a sexual prospect, she makes me want to choke her dead. Wonderful days, nights where I literally dream of her death and my freedom.

WTF is this? As a decent man and human, when I feel there's a problem in my life, I work towards a solution. She seems to be lacking any problem solving abilities and simply exists as she is as though that's acceptable.

Don't respond to this if you're some fucking let it be retard. I expect a certain satisfaction from this existence, letting people be useless retards around me is intolerable. I save that for strangers, not people I spend 16 hours a day around.

She seems to legitimately care about me, but never does anything to improve herself. I've plateaued in a sickening way because of her lack of motivation.

I love her but it's killing me on an existential level. What am I supposed to do? I'm planning to divorce her by the end of the year. I don't want to. It simply goes against my being to have her restrict my potential in this manner.

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Do physical activities together. Your partner is more probable to do things to improve herself if you do it alongside them.
Also always communicate. That’s the basis of a healthy relationship.

There's no way she can know this is how you feel about her if you don't tell her. Let her know you want changes to be made, don't just let this continue. From there, if nothing changes you can divorce her.

Married (estranged) oldfag here.

Sounds like standard married life OP.

when you leave of she thinks you might actually leave and not just post on Jow Forums like a fuckboy she will put some serious thought into changing her life.

but if I were you I would hold on the devorce.

Crack cocaine.

I was in great shape when we met. She's sucked the joy from everything remotely fitness oriented. She simply can't do physical activity. I've gotten tired of celebrating her minor victories like taking the stairs or slowly jogging at a speed I can walk. She's made little progress in 3 years. It's like a miniature Hell.

I was up front about her fitness before the marriage even, she said no problem. It almost makes me want to cry that she was lying so deeply.

Then you have no other choice but talk with her. State an ultimatum. Even if it’s just to make her worry.
It’s a concern that actually troubles you, and your wife should take it in consideration.

This can't be a standard marriage. It was my last hope for a planet full of nonsensical assholes. The only thing I had planned besides this was a drug fueled worldwide sexcapade and a quick death. I survived near death in Iraq for what is absolutely the most mediocre existence I could have fathomed 10 years ago.

All I wanted was a simple life with a capable body and a refined skill set that I could pass to my children as fellow humans to reduce their suffering in this existence to something pleasant and unobtrusive. Now I feel like a rotting corpse.

Did this. Done this. Frequently over the last few years. Planned to divorce her by the end of the year. Somehow, she still seems blissfully unaware. It blows me away, honestly.

Fuck man, then i dont know what to tell you. The last thing I can think off is going to therapy, or a relationship advisor.
Hopefully some user will have what you are looking for.

There there.

If it makes you feel any closer to her, your wife might feel the same way.

you should sit her down and tell her that you feel like a rotting corpse. Just dont say the D word

divorce to a wife is like war to a country.

Dont even start talking about it unless your sure you have the upper hand in every way.

I think I'm going to cut off our sex life. It might shake something loose. We may try therapy. I fucking hate therapists. They're like somebody trying to treat a person like a furniture set when the instructions are written in Chinese. I've never seen it successfully completed.

I love my wife. I just want her to live this life in a manner that leaves a beneficial impact on herself, me, and our children. Best case scenario is me not getting what I want in that group. Why would I need to be married for that?

Being overwieght can be like an addiction; it becomes self-reinforcing after awhile and a real pain to overcome.

You need to help her get the right diet and exercise routine going. Get her to specialists. There's a lot of work involved here, a lot more than you can possibly imagine, but its worth it.


Already mentioned divorce. I'm a rational person and we discuss everything in depth. My concerns seem to be falling on deaf ears somehow. It really does just boggle my fucking mind.

AND she makes no requests of me. I ask her, what have I down wrong? What does she want from me? Nothing. She just doesn't change. It's so weird to me to see somebody do this. I've started drinking again and I'm essentially a vegetable at this point. Every couple of months, I muster enough energy to make a go at it again, but there she is LUMP as fuck. I'm Sisyphus and she is the fucking boulder.

Why would somebody do this?

Woah you have kids?

Just xheat on her dude.


Yes thats pretty standard OP.

You should check out the show Moral Orel and focus on your kids.

this is you in 15 years

No kids. That's part of the problem. She is nearly infertile. Weight loss was prescribed to help the pregnancy, BY THE FUCKING DOCTOR.

I feel crazy just thinking about it lol.

Guys, I'm sorry. I don't know why I came here. This shit is nuts. I'm going to cut off sex for now. If she can't pull her head out, I'll have her make my Tinder profile herself. I can't live like this.

This you now. How's projecting this hard working for you?

Im not projecting youre spazzing out about your fat ugly wife dont get mad at me.

Also, alchohol is a depressant. Most people think they are drinking because they are depressed but in reality, they are depressed because theyre drinking.

If you can/have completely stopped for a month then disregard. But if you havent the depression should start lifting after about 10 days.

If you can get past the initial anxiety (~10 days) your head will be clear enough to think about how much tou love your wife

First of all, introspect. She may have her problems, but is the intensity of your dissatisfaction really due to her inadequacies or is there's something else? I'm assuming that she hasn't just suddenly morphed into this horribly human blob (in your eyes) overnight.

You mentioned that you feel like you've "plateaued in a sickening way" - this is the primary reason why I think that you are projecting frustrations about your own life onto her. People often direct their unhappiness at their partners.

Yes, all those things you say about her may very well be true, but you cannot change another person on demand and you don't really have much direct control over them. What you do have control over is yourself, so let's start there:

What is so wrong with your life? Why do you feel like you've "plateaued"?

So you thought your post was funny?

I'm about to lose the last human institution I had a modicum of faith in, and you think it's funny.

Love is not an excuse to behave irrationally. One clear headed day and I'll abandoned not only her, but all of you.

If I can't invest in one measly human interaction based on what you've all celebrated as the epitome of human emotion, what worth do further attempts merit?

I should have left this reality years ago. The closest I've ever felt to another human was born of necessity in the face of death. What a joke.

I created a life for myself while still single that was a monument of respect for the experience of life itself. Far from perfect, but growing each day towards something respectable. My life is a shadow of its former glory.

I never intended to go this far alone. I wanted to share the experience with somebody worthwhile. I thought she could handle the journey. She stopped in fat shit, useless-ville. I now reside there with her for fear of the pit.

Do you know what loneliness truly awaits you? I've seen it. I'm willing to embrace it, but I had to be sure I understood it. Marriage has made me a believer. I'm going to bed.

Thanks for the Advice Davids.

So when did she get fat btw?

OP if you can’t change her then divorce. Don’t be miserable. Everything you would want in a woman sexually is not there, and that’s huge.

How were you even attracted to her if she’s fat and you were fit? You should know that unless someone is willing to change themselves, they can’t be changed and eventually they’ll drag themselves back down again.

I suggest everyone in a relationship to watch Daniel Slosh’s second Netflix special. It’s comedy but in one part he talks about relationships and he’s caused thousands of breakups and divorces just by making people realize that you should only be with someone that makes you completely happy — stop wasting time on someone that makes you want to kill them and worry about your future together.

How old are you both?

And everyone’s talking about the fat bit. Is she actually infertile? Do you want kids?