Why won't he have sex with me anymore?

Why won't he have sex with me anymore?
We use to have sex every day. We use to have entire days where we just fucked around the house. He use to want me to dirty talk with him, and he'd call me by pet names and say stuff like "how good [I'd] look with his kids in me". Our bedroom life was on fire. I was willing to do anything for him, and I thought we had something special. But it just stopped recently....

He's still so loving and affectionate in every other way. He'll grab me, fondle me, kiss me all over, tells me he loves me...... but he doesn't want to make love anymore.

I honestly don't know what to do. I've tried initiating, but he says he feels obligated to have sex when I initiate. I thought maybe things were getting boring, but i'm scared to even touch him. I don't want him to feel obligated...

I asked him why and he says he "just doesn't want it all the time". We're both in our 20s and live together. I don't think he's cheating and I don't think he's jerking off too much to porn. I don't think it's me, i'm pretty fit. It's been 3 days and I want to have nice, tender, loving sex with him but it all feels so useless.

I feel so trapped in this predicament. He's the love of my life and there's no way i'd leave him, especially not over this, but i just feel so left in the dark. I've tried doing small romantic things like baking for him or wearing his favorite outfit, or cute lingerie underneath my clothes. I don't know what to do anymore.


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>my bf hasn't had sex with me in 3 days is it over????

You're a retard.

Why didn't you read the entire thread?

His demeanor completely changed.

Holy fuck women are retarded

This is Jow Forums, if you don't have advice to give, then don't respond

You're being an idiot if you think him not wanting to have sex as much means he doesn't like you as much or something.
How's that?
Libido is a very weird thing. Just a little bit of anxiety or depression can literally fucking nuke it, it's so sensitive.

For the last 3 days, or am I misreading that?

Be less available to spark his interest. Dress slutty at home but dont let him touch you, bait him into wanting you. And go out together on date nights maybe

So, you're expecting to fuck multiple times a day for the rest of fucking eternity or something? Calm the fuck down you dim bint. That's an unsustainable amount of sex.

The chemicals in your brain can mess with your libido when you fuck that much.
All the serotonin and dopamine and shit.
You can fuck yourself out of the mood straight into a depression if you do it too much.
Just give him a goddamn break woman.

It might just be that he wants to take a break for a while. from the sounds of it, his demeanour hasn't change, its just that he hasn't asked for sex in a couple of days. if he is still fondling you and such, hes definitely still interested. id say he just wants to take a break for a little while. just relax for a bit. and if you are really worried, COMMUNICATE with him. ask him why he hasn't been so passionate.

perhalps you did something to emasculate him?

No, it's an example of the pattern for the past 3 months.

He went from acting like the first part of my post to completely skipping sex unless i basically beg him. He's stopped all kind of bedroom talk, cute nicknames and kinks we use to indulge.

It's been like this for months, and the past few months have been really good to us. He's not the anxious type either.

We're a little tight on money, so we can't go on a dinner date. I guess i feel like i'd seen stupid doing that. I've tried so much already, but i'll try that tomorrow night

>communicate with him
I clearly stated that i've talked to him about this before, multiple times and with different approaches. His demeanor has changed though, even when we do have sex, it's completely different. None of the things that we use to enjoy are in it. I try to get him excited and i try to lead him into doing that stuff, but he just wants to get it all done fast.

Please read the full post

There's no way, i'm a very traditional and submissive type. Not a bdsm submissive, just traditional women roles.

I try my best every day to let him know how hansom he is and how happy i am to have him.

sounds like the honeymoon is over lol

It's hard for me to grasp because I still feel so passionately about him

You're probably right.

dont chase him or put pressure on him. just have fun. guys can freeze up when their performance is in the spotlight

u chase and he runs, he chases and u run. dont chase

Nothing to worry about for now, as long as we're talking about a couple of months like you mentioned in your next posts. Sexual desire may fluctuate for many reasons, but if he normally has a high libido, chances are that he'll return as he was.

Other than that is everything ok? What do you two do in your like other than fuck? Maybe too much availability of sex made him bored

It's all so confusing

Guys want a girl who initiates and enjoys sex regularly, but it's not ok to initiate and want sex?

If i just stop, he'll eventually complain he's not getting enough sex, i'm sure

>tight on money
That's stressful. Stress affects the sex drive.

if he is complaining he is not getting sex..... perfect. take him down and problem solved:)

We play vidya, hike, and enjoy movies together. We both have jobs and friends. We stay busy.

I guess i'll stop initiating and showing sexual interest

That could be a factor. It never really occurred to me because stress never affected my libido.

I just don't want him to get to the point where he feels neglected.

I did read the full post you fucking retard. Including the part where you said

>He's still so loving and affectionate in every other way. He'll grab me, fondle me, kiss me all over, tells me he loves me

So, everything is good. He treats you well. He loves you, you love him. He's affectionate. And you're having a break down because you haven't had sex in 3 whole fucking days? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Seriously, How about instead of worrying over why he isn't constantly inside of you, perhaps you try to figure what the fuck is wrong with you and why you're so fucking needy.

when a woman is showing too much sexual interest it kinda screws with the guys head.... they are supposed to be the ones hunting.. its kinda deep

You obviously didn't read, if you need more clarification, the thread goes into more detail about how it's been 3+ months of hus completely different demeanor
I already know why i'm clingy and needy, i don't need further insight.

It's strange to read this because so many guys on here complain girl don't initiate enough

I'll take your word for it and back off of the sexual stuff

just my experiences. i would feel put on the spot and slightly confused. in nature do the females mount the males? they only get close enough for the male to make the move... the other way is unnatural:)

make him chase u a bit. he will be happier with his catch:)

Oh, so you know why you're fucked up, you just don't want to do anything about it. Gotcha. Well enjoy every relationship you'll ever have dying a death because you want your partner to change instead of addressing the issues of the one person you can actually control.

And stop with your "You haven't read my posts" bullshit. I've read every single one of them, and you know what?


Get your emotionally disturbed ass back into therapy and chill the fuck out.

I'm asking for insight on his behavior because i'm not male. Who said i'm not working on myself? Why would I ask for advice on how to improve myself if i'm already actively improving.
A little silly

I just realized you're "that poster"

This same thing happened with my ex. Not the reason we broke up though. When we first got together we had a ton for sex, later I learned he was just doing it because I was so into it. By the end of our relationship we were probably having sex 2-4 times a month. But he's got less of a sex drive than me. Stuff like that happens. You'll have to learn to pace yourselves now that the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over.

perhalps some of the guys who complain do not know what is like to be persued

Every relationship I've been in has started with sex several times a day. Over time this lessens. It might be months, years, but eventually the novelty wears off. If my partner is especially lacking in creativity or drive then sooner, but at least at first I've enough of both for the two of us. What eventually grates on me is when a partner starts to complain about the frequency of sex, but has no tricks in their bag to entice or interest me other than making themselves open to sex. That isn't enough after a long time together for me, raw libido only carries it so far. That and whining, like petulant childish whining to get what they want. Who learnt the rope play? Who bought the toys? Who picked outfits? Who found the spot outdoors to fuck? Who booked the weekend away? Who created a whole fantasy evening of shit so you could have so many orgasms your brain shut down for a while? If in return you offer weak, toothy oral sex, complain about being tired in the morning every weekend, complain about having to get ready for work every weekday then yeah, your sex life was entirely in the hands of your partner and when they show less interest it goes down the pan somewhat. Whining makes it worse and is a really bad way to get what you want. In relationships where my partner contributes somewhat or as much, there are twice as many chances for sex to happen.

My sex life is pretty fucked up at the moment. For years I've been the one pursuing her and she has always been in the position of saying yes or no. It was rarely even an unspoken, body language kind of thing either, always verbal. 1 time in 10 sex happens, the rest of the time she is cold and frosty. As a result over time I've basically given up on trying and when she does say yes I've got all these intrusive thoughts like ... you are only saying yes because you know that we are literally on the cusp of breaking up if you don't say yes ... or ... you are only saying yes because you feel guilt, not genuine desire ... or ... I wonder what your genuine desire is like, where it is, do you even like me or just like the benefits of living with me? ... or ... Am I coercing you here? What is going on in your mind?

So a while back I decided to just stop and wait to see if she notices. Occasionally I get so horny that I end up trying and then I'm really fucked up because she STILL defaults to saying no, pushing me away, making excuses. You can tell that 5 seconds later she thinks about it and there is a realisation, she works out how long it has been and she tries to change her mind, but by then I've lost interest.

Like, every three months she'll nervously ask if I want a blow job or something, but I'm like ... fuck it, I've gone this long that I'll wait until something better presents itself. The time and effort I put into seducing her over the years is staggering and if the best she can muster in return when she realises there is a problem and she wants to have sex then I'd rather leave it.

On the infrequent times we've had sex recently I can't orgasm. I don't know. I just want her to be warmer, put some work in, make an effort, not be so fucking pissed off all the time.

I bought our toys, introduced him to roleplay, and i initiated new kinks.
>who booked the weekend away
>complaints about being too tired for sex
Has never happened in our relationship from me, only him

Because the problem is you. You are the issue here. Not him. He just doesn't want to have sex all the god damned time. That's pretty normal for a relationship that's made it past the honeymoon phase. He's already told you as much. You just don't want to accept his explanation.

So, please, tell me why would I tell you anything other than go deal with your insecurities. Because that's the real issue at work here.

lol, you could pretty much post that advice in every thread in the world. i like it

>He's not the anxious type either.
Let me tell you a little secret, one stoic type man to an anonymous girl on the internet.

I can't speak for every stoic, calm, unflappable pillar guy who never vents his anxieties to his gf, but just because I don't talk about what worries me doesn't mean I'm not stressed or anxious. Projecting calmness doesn't make you immune to stress, and sometimes it can make it harder to feel like it's "okay" to vent about your stressors too.