My girlfriend is talking to someone she claims to be her "best guy friend" almost daily...

My girlfriend is talking to someone she claims to be her "best guy friend" almost daily. This guy was one of her first boyfriends and they took each others virginity when they were young. He moved away across the country years ago. I recently read parts of their conversation and caught the guy asking her for nudes and talking about still having nudes of her from all those years ago. He also mentioned coming back to visit her over the summer and the sexual tension that might occur if they're ever alone together. My girlfriend said she would be open to sending nudes if it wasn't for me and that she still cares about him. She has not sent any nudes. They sometimes talk about sexual things as well. The guy has a gf currently but I have a feeling he really wants to fuck my gf when he comes back to visit. I'm understandably conflicted about this. On the one hand my gf claims to be very loyal. I love her and I believe she loves me very much. I want to tell her to stop talking to this guy but I have a feeling that won't blow over well. But what can I do about this situation? Do I confront her? If so what do I say?

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Talk how you are feeling uncorfortable with this dud.

Stop being a pussy and just talk to her about it.
She very obviously has feelings for this guy if she said she would send nudes if you weren't there.
So wanting her to deescalate her contact with him isn't fucking unreasonable in my opinion.
Because if something does happen, you're going to be the one that gets fucked over the most out of anyone in this situation.

It's over, move on with your life, stay single... just quit, delete it..shut it down

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How exactly do I tell her that I took her phone and read her conversation without telling her? I feel like that would kind of destroy some trust between us.

Sounds like you are in a pretty tough situation. One of the biggest red flags about what you said, was the fact that this guy was one of her previous boyfriends. The thing is about relationships and something you should always remember in the future, is that when you truly break up with someone. that's it. its over. you don't try to keep in touch or anything. its completely done. So if someone says they are still in touch with their ex, its a good sign that feelings are still attached. In this situation you need to stand up and tell her you don't want her talking to him anymore. If she continues to do so, then you know your answer, and move on.

Saying she would send nudes and talking about sexual stuff is cheating. Stay with her if you enjoy the pussy but stop treating her like a girlfriend, just a fuckdoll. That is, unless you enjoy the cuckening.

Just say you saw some suspect message pop on the phone and you wanted to see what the hell was going on. If the chats are as heated as you say she can't really hide that much.
Don't make it confrontational though or the whole thing will backfire on your ass.

The thing is they never officially broke up. The guy had to move away while they were still dating so the relationship was basically forced to end.

The sexual stuff is not about each other. Like she tells him what I do to her and he tells her what he does to his gf.

Okay, that's horrible for you. You DEFINITELY need to confront her. Tell her that this behaviour cannot be tolerated. That she should stop talking to this guy. Also the fact that she and him talk about sexual things is another red flag.

Girls are biochemically programmed to feel attached to the man who took their virginity. It's a biological mechanism designed to make sure she does't upset the father of her children and make him want to abandon her and her children. Truth is, she will never stop loving her first man, so if she's still in contact with him it's only a matter of time before they get back together.

Where are you getting this information from? This sounds more like Jow Forums logic than actual science.

Oh boy... Not looking forward to this conversation. I need to know how to tell her I read her convo tho. I don't want her trust in me to be reduced because of this.

I've heard this before. Thing is the guy lives across the country. It just wouldn't work. They haven't seen each other in years.

What exactly should I tell her? Just that I don't want her talking to him period anymore? She's gonna say things like "he's one of my best friends" and "it's nothing sexual"

ya, she's acting disrespectful regardless.

Yep she doesn't respect you or your feelings if she is saying things like this. You need to put your foot down and tell her not to talk to this guy anymore. This is your best bet.

Break up.

Some of you won't like to hear this but you can't be friends with the opposite gender when there is sexual attraction going on, not sustainably. And apparently there is a lot of sexual attraction considering he is her ex and they fucked a lot.

I assume she doesn't really care about your feelings, of course she knows it hurts you. This is all just some adventure to her and she wants her Twilight love triangle bullshit.

Break up. They are rare but find an intelligent and good woman.

Break up.

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she gonna be mad if she find out you went through her phone. If you tell her your uncomfortable with it she gonna feel like you don’t trust her.

Maybe go and meet the guy and hang out with them.

Or just be a real nigga and start DMing other bitches. She should of told him to fuck off right away.

That's the most basic knowledge about how chemicals work, user. Nothing about that excuses that OP's gf is a whore though.

If she's saying shit like that knowing how much this hurts you, then her "friendship" with him means more to her than her relationship with you.


This would be the first time in the relationship we'd be in anything resembling a fight. I'm kind of worried but I agree with you.

Like I've said he lives across the country. Just worried that he wants to come here for a few days in the summer.

I haven't told her how much it hurts me yet. I'll try and make her understand.

>gf wants to have sex with another man
>but she's loyal!
She doesn't love you, pal. You're an emotional tampon and a place holder. Time to pack up and move on

At the end of the day your gf hasn't cheated on you and you've already broken her privacy and her trust by reading her texts. If you don't trust her then just break up with her, why bother playing these mind games with someone who you're incapable of reciprocating one of the most basic emotional requirements for a healthy relationship?
If you're insecure about her relationship with her ex then just talk to her about it (and come clean about having violated her trust in you), I'm sure that she'll work towards ameliorating your concerns and establishing compromises if she truly cares about you and wouldn't cheated.

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OR you just tell her that you want to break up? I mean, if she really is doing what you're saying shes doing then she wont be all super sad when you break up right? She doesn't deserve an explanation, just end it. Say "Hey ______ i'm breaking up with you. Please don't try to talk to me ever again. Thanks. Buh Bye."

First of all. Is that her in op pic?

And i promise you, if you do it the way i just told you it wont hurt her so much now, but later on it'll hurt her because she'll eventually dwell on it. Because women hate it when good looking men dont show interest in them.

When was it said that she wants to have sex with him? The dude obvs wants her but I know she loves me and wouldn't do that to me.

I do trust her. But if your gf was talking to another guy about nudes and it was the guy who took her virginity you wouldn't be concerned?

By no means is the blame solely on OP. yes he shouldn't have looked through her phone, as this is a good sign that the trust isn't there. However, the gf is clearly not showing any signs of respect for him or his feelings as despite his objection she is communicating with her ex (with sexual connotations nonetheless).

Lol that seems a bit extreme. I think talking to her about it first makes a lot more sense. If things escalate from there then we'll see. I do love her still.

nigga thats literally cheating. what are you 12?

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>basic knowledge about chemicals.
what chemicals? what basic knowledge? This is nothing more than pseudo-science to try to validate your opinion on women. go back to r9k.

If you knew your gf as still talking to the guy who took her virginity would you not be curious as to what the hell they're talking about?? You'd have to have a stupid amount of trust for that. I haven't objected to them talking yet but that was before I saw the fucker ask for nudes

No nudes were sent and they haven't seen each other in years. How tf is that cheating?

As everyone here has said. There are so many red flags in this relationship that not addressing them will only spell disaster.

Its extreme...? you're causing more drama by telling her you went into her phone and snooped. i've been in your position before, you want her to not be a whore and tell you some lame excuse that will somehow justify what shes doing.
Newsflash buddy: She hasnt told you that these conversations are happening. shes hiding it from you. and she will be sending the guy nudes eventually. End the relationship, clear cut and dry, save yourself the drama, and move the fuck on.

this is a RED FLAG to to your relationsip with this girl.
>>do you love her?
>>do you care for her?
no matter what you say he will get in her pants dont matter if he has his own girl cos he is doing it to her as well.

remember if there was a part that didnt love him she would have shut him down in a few txts.

your relationship with her is dead. quit i now before the next thing will be i caught my girl cheating with this old bf

still talking behind your back dingus

Naw fuck that. As soon as he dumps her she gonna hop on the other dude dick and smash him and his girlfriend while OP cries like a bitch with his dick in his hand.

You need to start getting other bitches numbers now. Like right now.

this guy gets it. i do have a question though, how old is OP? Because these posts sound like they're coming from someone in their early teens.

>hurr it makes me insecure in my relationships so it's not real
Nice cope faggot. This shit is very well researched and if you're too dumb to be able to google it there's not much hope in me educating you.

But then he's cheating on her, and that just escalates the situation. OP can break up and then go fuck other women, it isn't like having this girl is the be all end all.

Please, dear sir. provide and link sources, so that I maybe be educated in your divine wisdom.
Because I am clearly incapable of understanding the stupidity of these claims.

I plan to address them believe me.

If things don't work out after we talk it out I fully plan to leave her. I refuse to get cucked.

She did shut him down tho. She didn't send any nudes. And she said she wouldn't do anything with him if he came to visit.

I'm 23.

>My girlfriend is talking to someone she claims to be her "best guy friend" almost daily.
stopped reading there. leave her.

I wouldn't have read her texts to begin with and if I felt concerned I would have talked to her about it like an adult.
She might be your gf now but she has a life of her own and other people she's close to besides you. If it bothers you that she wouldn't have minded sending nudes to someone who she used to date, was close to and was intimate IF she wasn't in a relationship with you then you're just being jealous. Plus her behavior literally asserts that she wouldn't cheat cheat on you OR she would have sent nudes. So if you want to blame her for honestly replying to someone else's request for nudes and upholding her commitment to your relationship then be my guest.
Just talk to her about his behavior making you feel insecure about what he might try to do to her whilst alone instead of cucking yourself by breaking up with a perfectly fine loyal gf over some faggot who'll disappear after a few days.

>She did shut him down tho. She didn't send any nudes. And she said she wouldn't do anything with him if he came to visit.

>My girlfriend said she would be open to sending nudes if it wasn't for me and that SHE STILL CARES ABOUT HIM. They sometimes TALK ABOUT SEXUAL THINGS as well.

Compare, contrast, and cope. She didn't shut him down, she's playing hard to get with him you faggot. Good luck with your whore OP.

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I wouldn't say OP is cucking himself here. From the sounds of it she hasn't gotten over her ex yet, and the amount of time they spend talking together is alarming. Also regardless of whether or not she is cheating, the fact that she refuses to acknowledge or respect OP's opinion is enough for a confrontation.

If the bait wasn't obvious before, it is now.

I don't plan on blaming her for anything just yet. Just gonna ask her if she still has feelings for this guy and that I'd much prefer she stop talking to him.

As I've said, not sexual things relating to each other. Just things I've done to her and him to his gf. The still care part does bother me.

She's using you. They will wind up together. If they didn't want to be together they wouldn't be hangin...

This has to be a fucking LARP. You're an idiot if you don't fuck her one last time, record it, then dump her on the spot.

He hasn't even talked with her about it and he has said ITT that he didn't state that he didn't want her to talk to him or that he felt like they shouldn't talk before.
This is clearly just lack of communication and trust on his side and her being naive about her fuccboi ex.
Escalating things to a confrontation is fucking retarded when they can simply talk and establish boundaries that they both feel comfortable with.

He basically cheated on her too.
OP you should look his GF up on FB or some shit and tell her to look at HIS phone.

Okay, but try to play the angle of asserting whether or not she sees him as potentially trying to fuck her when he visits. If she doesn't think so based on his behavior then I'd actually worry.

I plan on talking to her later tonight and I'll update if the thread is still up.

I kind of want to do this. Problem is finding her name because I know very little about them.

Its simply time to move on. There's a lot of speculation and wondering we can do about her intentions or what they mean but the fact of the matter is that this girl is obviously very young and very poor at setting boundaries. Honestly, this an issue that a lot of young kids have. Maybe she does really care about you, OP, but it requires much more than just emotional connection to sustain a relationship. Often times when people are young they compulsively shy away from confrontation. Having an honest conversation with you or an honest conversation with him or terminating a relationship that isn't working is an extremely difficult task and when you're young sometimes its just easier to ignore the implications and wait for things to "work themselves out", as if someday you'll just wake up and have the answers. Obviously that isn't how it works but when we're young we don't know any better. Regardless, she isn't ready to set appropriate boundaries. She isn't ready for the hard conversations and hard decisions. She may love you very much, OP, but she doesn't know how to turn that love into commitment just yet. She isn't equipped to give you what you need in a relationship. If all it took was love to keep a relationship going then you'd be in the clear but unfortunately life doesn't work that way. Time to move on.

>I kind of want to do this
If your goal is to free yourself of the immaturity and drama that concerns you about this situation then getting in between this guy and his girlfriend is the opposite of that. Not only will you make things much worse but you'll also embed yourself into a second situation that actually has nothing to do with fixing the first one. Either you want fix the situation or you want revenge. Either you want to be an adult or be a child. You can't have both.

She probably got him as a friend on FB. Take a picture of the message on her phone with your phone and send that to his gf in case he deletes it someone on his end.

As I've said I plan on talking to her first. If things don't work out then I agree it's time to move on.

Fair enough. It does seem like more effort than it's worth.

OP your girlfriend is nowhere near as loyal as you think she is. If you're going to be true to your SO it means not entertaining daily conversations with your long lost fling with whom there is obvious sexual tension. Confront her. Damn your emotions about it not blowing over well it's not going to blow over well but it's not your fault, remember that, she's the one that put you into this spot.

Definitely have a conversation with her but understand that the conversation can only take you so far. What she has to say about it isn't anywhere near as important as her actions. I am inclined to believe that she truly does love you and want this relationship to work and will most likely express that to you in your conversation but be very careful not to let her talk you into trusting her to do something that she has clearly communicated to you through her actions that she cannot do. Have a conversation with her but understand that going behind your back to flirt with a guy and complain about her relationship with you is stopping her from sending him nudes says more than enough about this relationship's future than any words that come out of her mouth possibly could.

>Fair enough. It does seem like more effort than it's worth.
It isn't worth the effort if decreasing the drama in your life is your goal. If your goal is to stir shit up and create more chaos then sure, go for it.

I don’t know dude. The guy doesn’t respect your relationship or his own. And the fact she said she has feelings still.
If you are both serious and talking about a future together I’d be flipping shit.

From my experience if you think that something is wrong regarding that "friendship" that your gf has with her ex then probably there IS something going on, dont try to negate your own thoughts saying things like "maybe im overreacting" or "I cant end it only because this hunch" listen to yourself , on the first place there is no logic or aceptable reason for your gf to be talking on a daily basis with someone that used to fk her, and you should not allow her to disrepect you that way o any,
It's most likely that she still have strong feelings to that guy, so she migth be inmature with the "I love you but I also have feelings for him after all he was my first" kind of thinking.
So talk to her if she really cares and loves you she will stop talking with him if she does not the she it's not for you, let her go dont make your live harder if you keep figthing for a relatioship like that things and only worsen, trust me.

You got actual friends in real life you can talk to about this?

The problem is they don't always talk about stuff like this and she's gonna use that as a point in the argument. I've went back and read their entire history and there hasn't been anything like this until now. I'm still going to try my best to make her understand me.

I just need to understand what she sees in this guy. She hasn't seen him in years and they mostly just talk about life and send stupid memes. If talking with him is more important than being with me to her than so be it.

I am kinda flipping shit that's why I made this thread. I'm gonna talk to her very soon. I'm nervous af but I can't let this slide. Still debating how I should tell I read the messages.

I don't understand how she can still have strong feelings for him when she hasn't seen him in years. They've gone a month without talking to each other at all over the years. It's insane to me to think that she would even think about doing anything with this guy when it's been so long and we are so happy together.

Seriously screw her best friend. Show her what it feels like to be back stabbed. Then runoff with her friend. Don’t be a cuck.

And he asking your girl for nudes while he got his own girl. If she really got feelings for a guy like that she stupid.

This. Her mom her best friend and her cousin

cut your losses, it's the beginning of the end, sure enough he'll become available and you'll start to become distant because of this, and then she'll go and get her hole pounded by him because you were "not showing me enough attention", and in the end, your pride will be hurt, so if you want to save yourself some time, cut your losses.

Talk to her, calmly and IN PERSON, about how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Don’t talk about having seen texts, or give away your insecurities about the whole shebang. Just explain how it makes you uncomfortable for her to be talking to someone who she’s been intimate with. We all take a piece of a person we’ve shared ourselves with, even if they’re across the country or long gone.

>people giving advice other than dumping the bitch
Cucks the lot of them. You gf is a roastie. Only roasties keep orbiter and back up cock numbers. Your relationship is done.


Tell your gf to cut the shit or fuck off, and send screenshots to his gf

You sound like a bitch. No wonder she’s thinking about other guys. Quit being a pussy. Break up with that cunt, and quit whining. Seriously, she will cheat on you one day, if she hasn’t already. There are way too many chics out there to be languishing over one. Nut up big boy, girls don’t really like sensitive men. Treat a woman like shit and she will love you forever. That is the truth.

I really hope you don't listen to most of the comments. Texting with an ex, even about sexual stuff, has nothing to do with her loving you less. Texting with someone from the past can be a way to reflect and in the end value the present. I don't know your relationship but you described it as loving and stable. Just be honest and tell her you feel uneasy with this. I am sure she will calm you down. I wouldn't tell her straight away, that you read their conversation though. In this situation right now, you are the 'cheater'. Read her, not her chats. Or just avoid him seeing her by proposing a vacation.

I actually had a similar thing happen with me a few years back. Got really close with this girl for a while and then out of the blue she starts talking about this guy she's been talking with. Old flame or something pretty soon she gets more distant with me and constantly brings up this guy. I distance myself from her and she gets mad and we have a falling out, I patch things as best I can only to find out she is dating the other guy. No matter what happens you need to tell her to get her priorities straight and if it's a hard decision for her then you just walk away. You deserve better OP.

>They sometimes talk about sexual things as well.
Even keeping in contact with someone she used to fuck is not okay, but that’s crossing the Rubicon. Leave before you’re cheated on.

OP here. I talked to her and everything turned out OK. She totally understood and was really sorry for even messaging the guy back after he started talking about nudes. She promised to stop talking to the guy from now on. She cried and we made up. Here's a lesson to the incels in the thread: not all women are roastie whores

Your fears are understandable and she should know it, so her behaviour isn't appropriate at all. Her ex is also blatantly trying to get into her pants, so she should understand that this kind of talk aren't appropriate during a relationship.
The whole situation would be a massive red flag to me, so you should at least talk to her about how you feel and tell her to cease it, but I'll be honest user, she doesn't strike me as a trustworthy person.

Amen OP. Glad things turned out alright for you. best of luck to you both!

See you in two weeks, young padawan.

Honestly this.

Oh you poor naive retard. You kinda deserve what you have coming for you though

And no, not all women, but definitely yours

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Good, the same thing happened to me with my ex. She met her ex after a weekend together. Her relationship with him ended because he moved abroad for his career. He came back for a weekend to visit "friends" They didn't do nothing as she claimed (I'll nevr know), I told her it was wrong and eventually planned to end it. She cried, said she was sorry and so on. She eventually met him again and had sex a few months after... She purposely accepted his invitation and had a trip to visit him. We were on a bad phase and so goes the mighty woman loyalty... The shitty part with unfinished relationship is that they haunt you, particularly people who don't respect the steps after a breakup and start dating quickly to feel better. It fucks everything up on the long term. I honestly hope it won't be the case for you OP. It hurts.

>Like she tells him what I do to her and he tells her what he does to his gf
Is this normal? I saw that my gf is always telling her friends about stuff we do to each other in bed, even stuff that I'd rather keep private (ex. Licking her sweaty asshole after she works out). I feel kinda embarrassed around them now, even though I know a few of them want me to fuck them.

i dont know what this thread is even about.... but the ass on that chick...... really put me in a good mood

this, OP is about to get meme'd on pretty hard and he has nobody to blame but his own ignorance. this is the part where she swaps to snapchat or something that deletes conversations, and you'll never be the wiser. it will be "her girlfriend from wherever because reasons" and sooner or later, she will fall out of love for you. you lit the fuse, now watch everything explode around you.

The level of cuckholdry of the modern man is appalling

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Drop the trash.
Or don't and deal with ALL the consequences, which will be a few considering you 2.

You fucked up. See you in a month.

Are you retarded? What the fuck is wrong with some men nowadays?? It is obvious what you should do. Dump that whore! She is clearly not committed to you. Break up with her and move on. How is that even a question?

Pfffttt hahaha . I can't imagine being this stupid. Literally impossible

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You are lost. You fucked up. You have clear proof that your woman is a disgusting roastie whore and yet you deny it upon seeing some crocodile tears. Have fun being in the cuck-zone. Idiots like you deserve it.

When will men learn. If you have to point out to your gf or wife that behaving single is a bad thing while she's in a relationship with you its too late.

Women are not idiots, they know what they are doing and how to cultivate a new lover or hold onto an old one while being in a relationship. They also know men are idiots, like OP, who believe women are naive and know not what they do.

When she acts single, in her mind she is single despite what she tells you.

I wish my first boyfriend perished, I don't feel attracted to him at all

I'd give him a week tops.
It would be another thread like "how do I get over being cucked" or "she broke up with me :(".

So typical, but sometimes it's funny.

Screenshot stuff that the guy is saying and send it to his gf. Fuck his life up. And then leave your hoe ass gf.

This. Unironically based

>I want to tell her to stop talking to this guy but I have a feeling that won't blow over well.
I'm sorry man I don't like being a jerk but - you're a cuck. You're so scared of breaking up with her that you'd rather put up with this, man up and realize you're better off alone than with this mess of a """girlfriend""", jeez.