Talking to girls depresses me

How do I stop getting sad every time I interact with a cute girl?
It usually goes
>go somewhere to do something
>doing the thing requires me to talk to someone
>that someone turns out to be a qt
>I talk to her and do what I need to do
>feel like shit
Every time man.
I think it's because I feel unattractive and that is confirmed every time by the girl's behavior not being particularly warm towards me.
Even when I feel good about myself, I'll go somewhere and talk to a woman my age, and suddenly I'll feel like fucking garbage. Help me.

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Actually I don't even have to talk to them necessarily, just being in the same room and not being noticed, shit like that will have the same effect.
Basically anything that could be considered as a lack of interest destroys me

This is nothing to worry about, it's normal to feel like that when someone shows disinterest. Just pick yourself up and move on.

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>when someone shows disinterest
It's more like "when someone doesn't show interest", which is pretty much every single time, so every time I go outside I feel bad. That's normal?
How do I pick myself up and move on? I tend to dwell on it for hours afterwards


You're too fragile. Start giving fewer fucks. You don't deserve special attention anymore than any other asshole. Do you go around giving special attention to people you're not attracted to just to boost their confidence? No, of course you don't. So, quit it with the double standard. Also work towards improving your self image and self esteem. And realize that random people that don't know you are never going to act like they want to socialize with you. Expand your social circle not by targeting strangers, but rather peers at work, school, hobby groups, etc.

>You don't deserve special attention anymore than any other asshole
Yeah I know that. But everyone who leaves the house regularly receives some kind of validation from the opposite sex at least a couple times per week or so, right?
>improving your self image and self esteem
I've stopped eating garbage and started exercising. As far as lifestyle changes go, I don't think there's much more I can do, but in spite of that I still feel bad about myself.
>random people that don't know you are never going to act like they want to socialize with you
Well I'm not really referring to socializing, but when someone's attracted to you, they usually try to make that clear right?
Sounds pathetic now that I'm putting it into words, but I just want to know what that feels like.

>couple times per week.

You clearly have a very bizzare assumption that youll want to understandad and remove.

So most interactions that the average guy has with women he doesn't know are overwhelmingly neutral/indifferent?
I thought they at least had stuff to pick up on, like "this cashier checked me out" or "that girl on the bus was obviously attracted to me", things like that.

Those guys are delusional.

If there's a girl I'm particularly attracted to I'll check her out occasionally, I'm pretty sure if she's careful she'll be able to notice it even though I'm not a creep who conspicuously stares as tits on public transport. Is it not the same for women?

I either refuse to engage them, or have a regular conversation. I don't feel drawn to anything but their bodies anymore. Occasionally I do get walloped when I see a shockingly beautiful girl. It passes in an hour or so but still sucks. Just Live with it op, that's what I do

That sucks man. Doesn't sound like a very healthy way of living either, no offense.

Well, I'm not presented with many options. It's either deal with the status quo or put a nearly infinite amount of effort into becoming attractive and appeasing society. Not thanks to the latter.

Me throughout the entirety of high school and college. Never did anything about it and just kinda got used to it. As you get older you'll probably find bigger problems to worry about, but hopefully someone can suggest a way you can fix it because I'm not saying you shouldn't worry about it.

>a nearly infinite amount of effort
Are you short with an ugly face?
So you just went through college feeling like shit all the time?
>As you get older you'll probably find bigger problems to worry about
Does life just get worse and worse as you age or something? I was lied to

No. I'm 6ft. Generally, it would involve me abandoning all the mental groundwork that exists to help me handle chronic social isolation and rejection. I'm far to egocentric to care about changing, if that makes sense. I suppose the first step would be convincing myself I need change, which I can't, because I dont.

You got the height part covered, it shouldn't be that difficult to present yourself in an attractive way.
But yeah I guess if you're absolutely certain that you don't feel the need to, that's fine.
I'm probably younger than you, but I recently realized I was deluding myself for a few years by thinking I didn't want/need positive validation from other people and it hit me pretty hard.

I'm 22. But 22 straight years of no friends, only family. Really it's just me in my head anymore

Yeah, I'm 20, and I'm in the same situation socially. I want to fix it though, it's a self-perpetuating cycle of misery and it can't end well.

The way I see it, there's nothing to fix. At worst, nothing worth fixing

Don't ask for advice they won't give you anything useful OP.

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Is this really the life you want, or do you just "not mind" living like this? Do you really feel that you can't change, or that trying to change would be absolutely useless?
These aren't loaded questions by the way, I'm just asking.
I don't want to keep being defeatist, it used to be comfy in its own way to think that nothing was worth it and that I was doomed to fail, but those thoughts are rotting my mind now

It's the best life I can have within the bounds of what I'm willing to put up with. It's a little of column a, a little of b. I know that I *could* change, but that the effort would not in any way, shape, or form, be worth it. That's not even to say it'd be "useless," just not worth the return.

>just not worth the return.
Can you really know that if you haven't experienced that return? Do you never yearn for it, putting aside the required effort?

I had a few waves were I thought I cared. I really didn't, but tried dangling a carrot in front of myself to.
I can't know what I don't know. I'm not going to assume it's better than what I have. Only if I did could I convince myself it was worth the effort.

Well you'd have to define what "better" means in that context, but if the people who have made that kind of effort seem happier, wouldn't you assume their situation is better?

No. I'm not like other people. All I have is myself, my experiences, and my thoughts to draw from.
I use "better" as a general term to refer to countless things. Usually comfort and contentness. Which is why it's hard to get better than where I am

You sound like you might have schizoid PD, I'm no psych though. But if you don't already know what it is, look it up.

I didn't want to sound like a tumblrina. *I'm not other people.
That's better

>you're not like me
>you're mentally ill

No need to get defensive, I'm just making an observation.
Being genuinely satisfied with a life of stoic silence seems like textbook SPD. It's not even really a mental illness.

I'm not defensive, just pointing out how pointless it is to talk about myself in any capacity, online or IRL

Why is it pointless?

Because it's the same thing everytime.

You said you didn't want to change, so why do you have any expectations as to where a conversation about yourself might lead?
I'm not even trying to help you, I just wanted to know to what extent I could relate to your situation.

I don't want to change, you're right. I'm just stating that it's always the same, so why would I expect anything else, ever. Keep asking, though. I've got some free time

Well we've definitely strayed from the thread's original subject and I've asked most of the things I wanted to know.
>why would I expect anything else, ever
Are you unhappy or dissatisfied in general? Are you looking for happiness or peace at all?

Peace is different than happiness, I think, or at least something that leads to happiness. I am looking for peace, I think. Peace or contentment. Just living with minimal effort and minimal reward. A balance, if you will

Yeah I understand. So are you currently unhappy?
What do you think will bring you peace?
I associate peace with happiness, because being content means being free of worry which is quite similar to being happy.

I won't say I'm "unhappy" in the sense that I'm angry at life or anything. I'm "unhappy" in the sense that I haven't achieved a state of happiness I guess.
As to what will bring it, I can't say for sure. I don't think I'm far. I think it will involve expelling all external influence from myself (as best I can) and just having myself. Obviously food and shit but if I'm mentally at ease, the rest should follow.

You sound like you're close to achieving a peaceful state, I'm a bit envious to be honest. I don't really have any more questions, but I wish you luck (honestly). It was a pretty interesting discussion.

Thanks pal. I'm doing my best. If I figure it out, maybe I'll share with others