Do you believe that love is real?

Do you believe that love is real?

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Yes, because I'm in love.


Seconded, based

Your in love with anime but I'm in love with a female

Yeah but people's idea of true love isn't real.

A female what

True love is real.

I am truly in love with a divine female entity.

Nope, is only a chemical reaction in our brains that disappears with time

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Go back to Rick and Morty Reddit you edgy zoomer

If a woman believes in love would you too?

That show is trash and true love doesn't exist you pathetic boomer.

He's right though, for the most part. "Love" isn't anything special, couples just form an actual neurological addiction to each other that usually maxes out after a few years (usually the amount of time it would take a toddler to be capable of not getting itself killed) or they fall apart because there's no kid for them to raise so it's literally just sex + friendship.

"True love" that lasts a lifetime is just two best friends living together and fucking each other until one of them dies or their genitals stop working. Marriage is just a social phenomenon meant to prevent infidelity and keep people from stealing other people's partners.

It's not meant to be an insult, and there's nothing wrong with the fact that what I said is the case. It's just the truth, and it's really a more healthy way of viewing relationships than romanticising "love" and being devastated when you realize that "love" isn't what you think it is.

In my opinion, there’s two kinds of social attraction. First is lust. This is liking someone, male or female with the pure intent of sex. This is simply the human need to reproduce, and is nothing special.
On the other hand “true love” can be a feeling between two people, or one person can feel it for another without is being received. This is when a person or persons want to be around one another, and want to protect each other, or one person wanting to protect another. They are willing to make sacrifices to be noticed by, or impress their significant other. This is the kind of love that usually leads to extreme sadness or depression if the person in love is rejected, or broken up with.

Sorry I wrote an entire paragraph here, just trying to separate the two classes of affection based on personal experience.

>Sorry for writing an entire paragraph
Brah this is an advice board. The fact that you're writing tons of text means that you're actually contributing to discussion and facilitating actual advice, which is far from a bad thing.

Maybe. Happiness is probably more real. Being lonely can make someone pretty sad

I love you. I love humanity.

Used to think it wasn't till it happened to me.

There's your mistake.

And I will not regret it.

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I mean it sucks that having that pretty basic knowledge is tied to such a cringy personality but he's not wrong. You're just a monkey functioning as expected.

So you would say it is real. It's just heavily romanticized. I agree with what you're saying but claiming that "love" isn't real is objectively false. It just isn't special.


Love is a more recent development. Marriage historically has been purely transactional and based on reproduction. Only now do people marry for “love” and don’t have children in the marriage. Love is an inflated idealism that is reinforced by society from birth, creating a heightened expectation of this incredible feeling that people strive to get. Like a drug, they go for the high. A lot of people have this hyper romanticized and idealized mental image of what love and their partner should look like, that is not based in reality so they have disappointment and leave immediately when their love and partner doesn’t meet the fairy tale expectation they have been fed for their whole lives

Love is a thrilling mechanism that leads to making a new human real.

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The mechanisms responsible for “love” I would say are incredibly counterproductive. Speaking from experience, the “intent” behind the emotion is to enforce monogamy, benefitting the male in the pairing by assisting him in knowing his kid is his, which in turn helps the female because she gets parental investment.

In reality, though, human beings would be far more capable of negotiating this kind of arrangement via the help of our high IQ vis-a-vis the animal kingdom if the emotion either did not exist or if it needed to be triggered by some means that’s likely to take place after you’ve properly talked it through. the complications caused by failed love are just imparing enough to future experience of the emotion to safely say that it’s a counterproductive system.

So does love exist? An extremely poor-quality, “made-in-China” version of it exists, the shit version can be put to decent use, of course, but you could ironically have a better, more loving relationship if it didn’t exist in its’ current form than you can with it.

Yes but I have given up the idea of true eternal cartoon love other than for family,friends, and pets.

I think 1 person can truly love someone while the other does not.
I think you can mistake a crush for true love or infatuation with love.
I've spent alot of times thinking about what really went wrong in a relationship with my feelings or their feelings and sometimes I just loved the sex and attention and the idea someone cared, it had nothing to do with them.
I thought I loved my last x and was devastated because I gave up porn for her, it was the best sex out of 8 women, and I dodnt even think of other girls. Then it turned out she just manipulated me really well, I was crushed but was I actually in love? No.

I think that, similar to other Anons here, love exists in a few different forms. One being love of companionship, this being your best friends or close family, Then infatuation, which is a burning desire or sexual love, the short powerful burst which eventually sizzles out and dies with time. Then there is true love, which is when you get a mix of companionship and infatuation together so each perpetuates each other. This is when a close female friend becomes your partner, like being the same close friends you were before but even closer and there's playful sex. You see it a lot in long-running, functioning, marriages or relationships where they started out as best friends in school or as close coworkers who bonded through stuff like shitty marriages or rough times at work.

As real as any other emotion.

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the word love when combined with certain expectations is a fucked up thing. i don't know. i do believe two people can be in a very happy relationship together, even get married and have kids and make it last until they die. it's been done. calling or not calling it love at that point doesn't really matter. i feel like i want to and could love somebody though.

I believe there's lust, infatuation, and committed love.

Lust can be confused for love. But really you love someone else's body and the sexual attraction.

Infatuation is different from lust in the way that it does not solely encompass sexual energy. It is like lusting for someone plus wanting to stay committed to them. But infatuation/puppy dog love/honey moon phase lasts anywhere from the moment of contact to 2 years. A lot of people tend to confuse infatuation for love because in the time frame, rhey really feel attached and protective and committed to the person they're with. But once those feelings wear off, they say, "where did the magic go?". A lot of people tend to get married during the infatuation phase and then regret the marriage after feelings fade away.

What stays after infatuation fades? Committed love. This is what I believe is true love. When you choose to stay with the person you're with, against all odds. You're comfortable with eachother, you more than just tolerate eachother, you want to continue spending the rest of your lives together despite all the arguments or disagreements. It is beautiful and means the world when you want to continue on with someone after the "magic fades". It is a new type of feeling, a softer more calm love. There is still passion, care, protection. Unfortunately this type of love does not guarantee you will stay forever, all of us humans err. But it is love if you chose to fight alongside that person, after the infatuation faded away.

Sorry for typos.

It is real! I hate to go through 3 relationships where I felt more or less nothing till I finally found out

Ngl going to screen cap this and save it

Idealist idiot, I was taught by Catholics in the confirmation they literally explained how love between couples isn't real but tolerance and understanding is what remains and why children are important. Did research on my own as well, these thoughts didn't come from nowhere, if you want to live in your reality do it but don't involve me

I'm just here to say this guy is correct.

Don't reproduce people. Think about it logically.

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I mean, if we’re being reductionist then why not say those chemicals don’t exist because they’re just made out of quarks and stuff.

I’d argue that it’s just as comforting to see love for the chemicals responsible because chemicals can be manipulated. Failed relationship? take an oxytocin antagonist regularly to upregulate the receptors so that the next one avoids the trap of being less impactful. None of this “oh fell out of love for no reason” or “oh there’s no chemistry” BS. Decide what you want and drug yourself up until you’re there. truely this is the future.

That is the stupidest fucking argument I've ever heard.

We barely understand quarks, so that amount of reductionism increases the possibility of "magical true love", not decreases it

Yes, why do you think there are a lot of love problems

The only person who will ever love you is your mother. Everyone else is using you in subtle and not so subtle ways. Make peace with that fact and you can enjoy mutually beneficial relationships without expecting to be owed anything.

Idk but I really thought I loved a girl in high school and for a few years after too. I really embarrassed myself by sending fucking retarded messages to her when I was drunk and whenever I went out I usually ended up thinking about her. Never fucked her in fact never even kissed her. Still fucks me up to think about it now desu, but I ended it by doing some sort of psychic or NLP thing with a life coach I was seeing at the time. It literally felt like she was dead but at the same time every other girl I saw was suddenly so much more visible or something to me. Really got emotional because I realised how much time I'd wasted on this bitch.

I don't think the love is, but the pain is. The pain is so fucking real

>Marriage historically has been purely transactional and based on reproduction.
Kind of true but also that's only because that's the kind of marriage people were writing about, royal marriages and shit, or even before that blood marriages to seal alliances between clans (observable in Turkic steppe groups, Middle East, Native American tribal confederations).

But if you were a literally who (like we are) at any point in history your marriage basically didn't matter to anyone. For most of recorded time, if you weren't on top you had so little wealth it didn't really matter. We're not talking the difference between a baker and a blacksmith here, we're talking two peasants on the same tenant farm doing farm work who will never leave their overlord's lands much less see a city.

This doesn't negate your point though, the thing that people threw a ceremony for, "real" marriage, that was transactional

If I can see myself with her until old age, yes. I'll use the word 'love' around her, but otherwise, nah. Our bond would have to be pretty tightly sealed.

I really wish I did, but 99% of my guy friends are single guys beating the meat since forever, while the 1% got a lot of success with girls.
If love is real, it really isn't only for some lucky few.

>Kind of true but also that's only because that's the kind of marriage people were writing about, royal marriages and shit,
>But if you were a literally who (like we are) at any point in history your marriage basically didn't matter to anyone

This is unequivocally false. Marriage was born as matter of transaction. Just because the families of the bride and groom were poor does not mean that their alliances were any less valuable to them. Historically, marriages had nothing to do with love. Marriages based on love were for the most part frowned upon unless there was actually some kind of tangible gain involved for the bride or groom's family. Understand that during this time, a child was a resource. A child was a source of labor and/or possible wealth. If your son was particularly strong or daughter particularly beautiful you had more bargaining power to negotiate beyond your station. Trading that resource away to another party and not receiving proper compensation for it was not an option. The institution was designed for the sole purpose of combining assets, forming alliances and continuing bloodlines. This goes for both prince and pauper alike.

not really but I like the idea of being wanted.

The only true love there is is love for your family that you've spent your entire life around. Everything else is just a joke.

Yes but in the same sense enjoying a job is real. It is entirely a numbers game. It is great to spend 25 years with the same company, but it doesn't mean obsessing over one job or potential employer. it means throwing shit at the wall till it sticks, taking it on the chin when things don't work out for you etc.

Love is as real as climate change. So no.

yes. anyone that thinks it isn’t just hasn’t really experienced it yet.

I love my family

Normalfag love is a lie, your brain is tricking you yo fuck an unremarkable pimp. You should have found out sometime in highschool how love is bullshit. I bet you thought your parents were meant together too. Pull your head out of your ass. Dump her or him and stick with hookers and booze.

it's a nice feeling for me even if it hurts sometimes
even if it's one-sided

Entirely true. I was initially sad when the infatuation phase of my relationship ended because... well, infatuation is pretty addictive. But what I got in exchange was better. There's this sense of almost unconditional acceptance and deep friendship. This person knows all of my faults and bad personality quirks and mental issues better than anyone and yet still wants to spend time with me. It's magical.

Yes its real. Disagreers are protecting/projecting their cognitive model, rationalizing their cope.

>protecting/projecting their cognitive model
And you're not?