Hi guys...

Hi guys. Can those of you who are or who have previously been in relationships please tell me how exactly you got into those relationships?

22 year old kissless virgin here wondering exactly what I’m doing wrong

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you are either ugly or have shit social skills. It's as simple as that.

I asked my boyfriend to be my boyfriend.
We met on a discord server, talked to each other a bunch, really liked each other and at the end we met up and started dating. I was really in love with him from day one.

how does one acquire social skills

Don't ask me, I'm both ugly and have shit social skills.

it's easier when you are a girl. I'm sorry but your input is irrelevant.

I don’t have shit social skills and I’m not ugly. I’m just a pussy who’s afraid of rejection

Anyway, there are plenty of autists with sub par looks on Jow Forums, yet most of them seem to still get dates and relationships

How did it actually progress into a relationship though? What actually happened specifically?

>How did it actually progress into a relationship though? What actually happened specifically?
We talked a lot about common interests and stuff. We started complimenting each other. I made clear that I liked him a lot. He said he liked me too and wanted to meet him IRL. I told him that if we met IRL I'd like us to be monogamous, he agreed.
He came to visit me. We made out. We fucked.


Unfortunately I’m not a nerdy type, I don’t use discord or participate in any online communities, don’t like anime, only play “normie” video games these days. So a scenario like yours is never gonna happen to me

Unfortunately most girls in real life expect me to make the first move. And I just can’t do that

We don't watch anime or play videogames either. There are tons of online communities about different interests.

But yes, you can do the first move. It's not a big deal.

It's because you have never asked a girl out.

>meet girl
>hit it off right away*
>due to my personality we are flirting lightly from the get go
>talk a bit, in person and online
>get together to hang out usually as a group of friends
>talk more
>spend more time together
>flirt harder
>suddenly we're spending time one on one
>continue to do this for a few weeks while sexual tension escalates
>kiss girl/do something to stake my serious interest or escalate past flirting and meaningful looks
>go on some official dates
>>hey will you be my exclusive gf?

*optional step, but certainly helps

This pretty much.

The 2 most important factors in getting girls are good looks and social skills. If you have neither of the two, you're an incel because no girl will like you. If you have 1 of the 2, you're a normie. You'll probably get some girls but not alot. If you have both, you're a chad because nearly every girl will like you.

I can’t. These are some scenarios where girls did everything possible to show interest and I still couldn’t make the first move

>Slept in a bed with me nearly naked and cuddled with me
>Another girl slept in a bed with me and forced me to spoon her
>Countless girls coming up to me in clubs and grinding on me, complimenting me
>Two girls even offered to teach me how to kiss after I admitted to them I was a kissless virgin

And every time I was still too scared to do anything. I don’t know what’s wrong with me

Then seek therapy. You're not doing anything wrong, you're just mentally ill.

One thing that certainly does not help is you posting this same shit every single day.

>second year at uni
>the freshman are all boring and stupid bitches
>after 3 months
>one day we are eating at the restaurant with all the buddies
>when we are going the veterans and freshman groups mix
>start to talk like a autistic retard with this girl
>we talk about anime,movies and stuff
>my friend told me that this girl was interested in me
>ask her number from someone else
>"say hi"
>she didn't respond
>after 1 day she responds
>start to talk with her, ask her out
>we enter in a relation ship in the same week

The end is pretty sad but i was in love.

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yeah the little fuck keeps doing it

You make it sound so effortless and easy. I don’t understand it. For me even going on a date with a girl seems impossible

Therapy didn’t work. I wanted them to actually dissect my feelings and help me work through my fear of rejection, but they just kind of gave me advice that was nice but I can’t implement it

Then find another therapist. There are many therapists.

>22 years old, working a lot of hours, saving my money for the future, but - frankly - had nothing I was interested in spending it on and more work hours = less time alone in my tiny apartment.
>Was going on a long work trip (I had volunteered so none of the other guys, all married or engaged, would need to spend 6 weeks out of town. And per diem!
>I was leaving Sunday night. The Friday before a guy I worked with but barely knew just out of the blue said 'some to dinner with my and my fiancé tonight. I want to thank you - it would have been me if you hadn't volunteered.'
>I said I didn't want to intrude and he said 'nah, her friend is visiting for the weekend, so we had a guest coming, anyway.'
>End of the day he literally pulls his car up to the door and insists I get in, so....
>Go to a nice place and there are two girls there. His fiancé (I had seen her picture), and this... goddess. 5'9", about 140 lbs, hourglass figure, big tits, pale skin, bright blue eyes, black hair. Dressed very... formally? In a long dress with her hair up.
>We go in and end up sitting next to each other (Call her Jane) and I decide WTF? I'll talk to her.
>Turns out she is more autistic than me. Hardcore science type taking 18 semester hours at an Ivy, and working, so she is just going to class, going to the library, going to work, going to bed. Her parents *FORCED* her to visit her friend 'who can talk to people' in hopes she might talk to people.
>She was obsessed with genetics, opera, and Victorian era fashion. I was able to discuss opera, thank heavens. But she and I ended up talking all night My coworker and his fiancé looked relieved at the end of the night. Jane asked if I would have time to see her before I left.
>Sunday the four of us met at my place before going out for lunch. She saw my D&D books and just *gushed*; the only games she played were D&D and cribbage. So I got out my cribbage board. She was so excited!

I don’t want to fuck around and go in with someone talking about my feelings. I have one specific problem, which is a crippling fear of romantic rejection. So unless there’s a therapist who is specifically trained in dealing with that, it’s useless to me

>meet girl
This is the hardest part. More instructions necessary.

You do have shit social skills

Yes. Cognitive behavioural therapists are specifically trained in dealing with dysfunctional behaviours.
So go and try.

You sound awfully familiar to me OP. Have you posted a similar thread like this like 10 times earlier? This ''i have chad-tier looks but i'm still a KV'' thread is becoming old now.

It is him. And it's a lot more than 10 times.

I don’t. I’m a bit awkward but plenty of people are. I have shit romantic skills and zero experience.

I don’t wanna have therapy if it involves anything other than talking about my problems with women and fear of rejection. I don’t wanna do it if it involves even 5 minutes of talking about other things that are irrelevant to that.

Yeah. I never said I had chad tier looks. But I know I’m good looking. Plenty of girls have told me that to my face, and I have so many matches on tinder it makes me want to cry.

>I don’t wanna have therapy if it involves anything other than talking about my problems with women and fear of rejection. I don’t wanna do it if it involves even 5 minutes of talking about other things that are irrelevant to that.
Then it won't fix the problem.
If you're not willing to do anything to fix the problem, at least stop complaining.

>We had a quick lunch, went back to my place, and my coworker and his fiancé played gin while Jane and I played cribbage for 3 hours. After that as she was leaving I thought 'fuck it' and reached to hug her good-bye - and she hugged back! Warm, soft, smelling of lavender and roses, her hair in my face, her breasts pressing into me. Heaven,
>I flew out that night and got to the extended stay and there was an email from Jane waiting for me (coworker gave her my work email).
>Two days later there was a letter - a real letter. She wrote to me in calligraphy and told me about herself. Both parents professors (both Biology), only child, diagnosed on the spectrum, travelled a lot as a kid, homeschooled through HS, sophomore in college.
>After the first two weeks (and a bunch of letters) I called her. I was calling every other night the rest of the time and writing a letter every day (she hates email). I explained I am on the spectrum, I was homeschooled, started university at 16, graduated at 20, worked a lot, only child, etc.
>I flew back from work and she and I kept it up; writing a letter and mailing it every day, calling every other day, for 4 months. She explained the closest she had to not being a KHHV was when a stranger groped her chest when she was 16 and a lesbian she knew offered to kiss her freshman year. When I had hugged her good-bye was the first hug for us both.
>I took a long weekend and flew up to see her at college. She met me at the airport and we hugged again. I got a hotel room nearby and we went to dinner.
>The next day we walked around town holding hands (amazing) and after dinner I kissed her goodnight. Like hugging, but infinitely better.
>The next day I told her I love her; she said she loved me to, and cried. Her roommate came in, looking cross, and asked what I did? Jane said, 'he said he loves me!' and her roommate just smiled and left.

The problem is my fear of rejection and kissless virginity. Why would I go to therapy if it didn’t focus specifically on those issues?

When I was younger I had therapy cause I used to be an insecure nervous wreck. It worked, I’m way more confident now and proud of how far I’ve come. But no one told me that personal self confidence is not intrinsically linked to romantic/sexual confidence. And now I’m a kissless virgin at 22

>I flew back the next day (she kissed me good bye) and then we wrote and called, both, every day.
>Not long after was her Summer break. She turned down a research opportunity to visit me. She stayed in a hotel nearby (I paid) and we went out every day. After a week I proposed. She said yes, and cried some more. The next day we went out and bought rings together. She dropped out of university and we were married by a judge that week.
5 years ago.
We have three kids so far.
Yes, it is a blog post, I am autistic

>The problem is my fear of rejection and kissless virginity. Why would I go to therapy if it didn’t focus specifically on those issues?
You can focus on those specifically, but probably the roots of your problems are deeper than that and you'll have to talk about other things too.
Just go to therapy and let a professional guide you to the solution for your problems.

It was effortless and easy in your perspective.
but i actually talked with with her, asked her number and asked her out.
You only need grow balls and do three things.

I've read your posts before, it's so sweet.
I'm happy for you, user. I hope you keep loving each other.

thank you

>Tells her he loves her after 4 months
>Proposes to her within another few months of that
>Is a literal autist

Is this genuinely all it takes? I'm far more socially aware than this user is and yet I'm the one who's a kissless virgin at 22, and he's the one with a wife and kids.

Should I just start professing love to and proposing to random fucking women now? Jesus christ.

>1: someone came up to me at work, began flirting, asked if I knitted my sweater myself, asked me out when I said yes
>2: asked me out at work
>3: met in the dorms. sent me a "do you like me Y/N" note
>4 and 5: OKCupid. Didn't work out but still good friends
>5: OKCupid. Didn't work out but interesting dates
>6: roommate who I used to talk to because we were both up at odd hours. eventually started reading to each other and then having bizarre erotic examinations late at night in the living room when everyone else was on vacation

You're a girl, right?

A girl I met at a uni seminar invited me to a hike and kissed me there. That was like 8 years ago. Currently gfless and I don't know shit about dating. It was the best time of my life, but nowadays it only makes me retch.

How on earth do you get a girl to ask you on a date? Is that even possible?

>all these faggots who got asked out
Seems I was in the wrong all along for not putting more of my stat points in the luck stat.

I didn't propose randomly.
Here's a question - why would it take MORE than 4-6 months to know if you want to marry someone?You know in a few seconds if you find them attractive, right? And in just a few minutes of talking whether you want to know them better, right? If you talk to someone often why *could* it take more than 4-6 months to know?
Jane and I think we waited too long to marry!

I met him on Jow Forums. For a year i complemented his nans plates and his dick while he thought I was a man.
Eventually he realised I was female. I joked we should meet up, we did, I bought him a happy meal and then we fucked for 24hours.

We’ve been together almost 6 years, married for one, have a three bed house and a dog.

Because things are unpredictable, and when you're that young, you still have a lot of growing to do. If you do anything like the amount of growing and self-progression you should be doing, you're going to be incomparably different when you're 30.

It's not so much to do with "how long you wait to propose". It's to do with the fact that you really shouldn't be getting married until you're 25 at least. It's not like you were both 30-somethings who were ready and willing to settle down. You were college-aged kids. I don't know even one person at my age at college right now who is ready to get married, no matter how mature or well put together they are.

If it works for you, that's fine. But to me it seems insane.

It just happened man. The seminar was really boring and I've been doing funny stuff there to pass the time, IIRC we found a teen magazine over there and scribbled over the peoples' faces and shit. I guess it must've clicked with her somehow. But it's all over now so w/e.

>when you're that young, you still have a lot of growing to do
22 and 19? We were both adults when we met and as a married couple we are growing *together*. Supporting and helping each other as we grow, and growing closer.
>you're going to be incomparably different when you're 30.
Why? Sure, my opinion on a few things has changed, but I still love the same games, love my parents, want what is best for Jane, and more. Sure, I like different music and have a better appreciation of some things and disregard others, but "incomparably different"?? Do you think I would spontaneously become an Asian Woman, or something?
>It's to do with the fact that you really shouldn't be getting married until you're 25 at least
Seriously, why? Because your "fact" is just your stated opinion, and demonstrably wrong.

>I don't know even one person at my age at college right now who is ready to get married, no matter how mature or well put together they are.
This is literally self-contradictory.
Know what sounds insane to me? People who disregard reality because it conflicts with their opinion.

Nope, I'm a dude.
>1: girl
>2: girl
>3: guy
>4 and 5: girl and guy
>5: girl
>6: guy

Literally how do you get girls to ask you out?

I don't get it. There's several people in this thread saying they were asked out by girls. I've never known girls to actually do any asking out, they just flirt with me and hope that I do the work for them.

Being a giant basedboy worked for me apparently. I'm kidding but not really.

By "asked out" I mean asking to do something, by the way. By the time someone asks "are we dating?" (rather than "are we on a date?") it's usually been so long of us obviously spending a bunch of time together that it's basically a formality at that point. We're already on the couch in our underwear watching cartoons or whatever.

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lol @ that filter.

revision: being a Giant Faggot with many stereotypically feminine interests

Sounds good enough. Ive never been asked to do anything with a woman in the 27 years I've been alive.

We met at work. I'm a girl, for reference.

>doing internship at IT company, get hired after it's over
>I'm quite shy in new environments, pretty much scared shitless the first couple of weeks and can barely talk to anyone there
>like a 60-40 guys to girls ratio at this company, but pretty much all the girls are extremely shy or antisocial, cannot really form friendships with them
>one of the guys, let's call him Kevin, sees how stressed/scared I am and tells me to come outside whenever he & the other guys take smoke breaks
>go to smoke breaks with them, get along really well with everyone cause I'm also into the things they talk about (videogames, shows and movies, general programming stuff)
>almost all of them are single, so they start asking me out one after the other at some point in the next 6 months
>refuse all of them, including Kevin (at that point I've never been in a relationship and was a bit scared of getting into one, didn't know what I wanted, heard work relationships can turn ugly quick etc.)
>after like 8 months of constantly hanging out with these guys at work & every Friday when we did LAN parties I started catching serious feelings for Kevin
>eventually get enough courage to ask him out to a movie
>he says yes, we go to the movies, he kisses me at the end of the night
>been together for 2 years now

That's about it. Obviously I had lots of advantages (being an ok looking woman in a male dominated workplace), but maybe you can get something out of this. I'd say try to actually befriend girls and treat them like you'd treat anyone else, don't put them on a pedestal and act normal with them. It's what made me attracted to Kevin, the fact that he talked to me like he talked with the other guys in the group. I wasn't the special one, I was "one of them".

You forgot to emphasize that Kevin was essentially the one taking initiative in this situation though. Shy/antisocial types would struggle to put this into action.

Yep. OP here. If I was in Kevin's situation I never would have invited her outside in the first place, because I would have interpreted her shyness as a sign that she hated me and wanted nothing to do with me.

Life as a romantically insecure man is hell.

Perhaps you're right, but at the time he asked me out and for the next ~8 months I didn't have any romantic feelings for him.

He is not an extroverted guy at all though, he's not the stereotypical "confident" guy you see in movies. He's more the introverted confident type I guess? He's not a player, doesn't like parties, isn't cocky or loud, doesn't have that many friends. He's just secure in who he is. Point is you can learn to be a bit more confident without completely changing yourself, if you're more the antisocial type. Don't strive for the "chad" thing, believe it or not there are a lot of girls who don't like that type of guy. For me, they are intimidating and obnoxious at the same time.

The problem is I'm not antisocial. I'm not even an introvert. I'm almost the opposite of that, I'm an extrovert who is awkward. I crave social contact and have to make as many friends as possible. Similarly, I crave intimacy and romantic relationships. But I'm terrified of rejection so I can't go out and get those things. It really is a hellish situation.

If you're an introvert, you can teach yourself to be more extroverted. But if you're just awkward and scared of rejection, it's near impossible to get out of that.

I can understand that. I went mad for 2 weeks trying to find the courage to ask Kevin out, felt like vomiting every time I starred at the chat thinking about how to start the conversation. The night I finally did it I was shaking like mad after I sent the "do you want to go out for a movie?" text.

I can't imagine how hard it is to be expected by society to do this every time. My boyfriend said that when he was younger he also was super fearful of rejection, but at some point he just started asking girls out without any expectations. Once you do it a lot of times the rejection doesn't even register anymore. Maybe try to treat it as a game the whole asking out thing, "disassociate" from it on an emotional level. I know it's easier said than done though.

I genuinely wish I could but I don't even know where to start

The last time I had a crush on a girl was when I was 17. I was so obsessed with her and spent so much of my life thinking about her it made me sick, I thought I was going to kill myself when she rejected me. I got over it, obviously. But ever since then I just don't allow myself to develop crushes on girls anymore. Of course there's plenty of girls I think are cute and would like to date. But it's not as simple as having one crush anymore. My brain won't allow me to crush on a girl or develop any kind of real feelings because I don't want to get hurt like I did when I was 17 by that girl.

Because of this i literally don't even know who I would ask out. I wish I could be obsessed with a girl like I was back then. It made me feel alive back in those days. And if I really had feelings for a girl like that, then no amount of fear of rejection could stop me from asking her out.

1. I asked a random girl what her name was and if i could have her email, we emailed for a while then meet up later, we dated for more than 5 years

2. Girl sold me some concert tickets, we talked sometimes for a few months, we started to go out years later, dated for 1 year

i had a few other dates i got from meeting random girls, but nothing interesting or they tried to lead on me so i told them to fuck off

>I’m just a pussy who’s afraid of rejection
So you know what your problem is but aren't doing anything to fix it.
You won't get anywhere without trying man, stop acting like a girl.

>You make it sound so effortless and easy.
It is easy, because you're interested in them and they're interested in you. For both parties it's easy to talk for hours or hang out 4 times in one week without getting bored of each other or to cuddle on the couch in comfortable silence.

>This is the hardest part. More instructions necessary.

>go places where there are women
>meet the women
>school, work, hobbies, events

The only "hard" part about meeting women is whether they want to meet you, and that comes largely down to whether or not you're passably attractive and approaching them in an acceptable fashion.