I found out that my boyfriend dated a model for a while. I saw a picture of them and they look so fucking good.
I'm average looking as fuck. I got kind of chubby over the last year (got in a really bad accident, had to take steroids for months and couldn't exercise) and don't even take great care of myself in general: I don't wear make up, don't do much with my hair, wear jeans and tshirts all the time.
I've haven't eaten in 9 days because I feel nauseous every time I think about it. I never felt insecure about my body and now I feel so gross, I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
How do I stop feeling like this? I want to have an healthy relationship with my body, and don't want to resent my boyfriend over this. I'm not even enjoying sex with him (which I always loved) because I keep thinking he finds me repulsive and thinks of his ex to get off. It's definitely not his fault for being good looking and having good looking exes, but I don't want this to spoil our relationship.
I found out that my boyfriend dated a model for a while. I saw a picture of them and they look so fucking good
Go to a therapist.
Eating disorders have a snowball effect where they only get worse if you don't get professional help.
Look up Eugenia Cooney and see if that's what you want to grow into.
Well, as a guy I can tell you, its either "I would do her" or "I wouldnt", with rare exceptions of not being sure. Past the "I would" it really is of no importance if she is a model or simply attractive enough. And to be honest I much prefer just attractive girls who are interesting people to models who are usually only in love with their reflection
>don't even take great care of myself in general: I don't wear make up, don't do much with my hair, wear jeans and tshirts all the time.
Well thats playing with fire
I lost a dear childhood friend to anorexia and I don't want to end up like that.
You're right, that's what I should do.
How do I talk to my boyfriend about this? I don't want him to feel bad about this, it's not his fault.
>Well thats playing with fire
Yeah, I know. I'm just very plain. I've always been a huge tomboy - my mom died when I was young, have 3 brothers, always had mostly male friends.
My boyfriend doesn't seem to mind it.
1: improving yourself is never wrong its wrong to not be your best
2: he is still attracted to you but it WILL make him more attracted to you if you self improve
3: this is your task not his and he didnt even ask for any of it so it is your reponsibility not his. you cant blame him.
4: just realize that putting in more effort is a good thing and the sugary junk food is EXTREMELY bad for you anyways and this is a good thing you're doing. being hungry is completely fine but you still need to eat. just cut out any drinks but water and anything but meat and veg for food in moderate portions and you will be fine.
I'd rather be fat than feel like this. I feel so bad in my skin and hate myself so much that it makes everything less enjoyable.
I don't even enjoy sex with him. I used to get fucked by him something like 3 times a day, now I can't even stand him touching me. I don't blame him for any of this, but I feel so uncomfortable about my body that it is unbearable to have him touch me.
I rarely had junk food, candies or sugary drinks. I eat well, always did.
>How do I talk to my boyfriend about this?
Talk to a therapist first and ask her(I suggest seeing a female therapist cuz she'll be more likely to identify with your struggles) what you suggest.
Your insecurity is that you feel his last gf was more attractive than you so the cure is to
1: become more attractive than her
2: realize your boyfriend is with you and not her because he likes you better than her
3: are you saying your boyfriend only cares about physical appearance? but that cant be because if she is as hot as you say then he wouldnt be with you so thats not possible. so CLEARLY your boyfriend is with you because he likes you. not her. YOU.
no but you wouldnt feel like this if you more attractive is the point.
Your boyfriend is obviously with you because he likes you right? so whats the problem here. if you only think he cares about looks then y
>become more attractive than her
I can't do that, no matter how hard I try. She's gorgeous.
> realize your boyfriend is with you and not her because he likes you better than her
Well, she dumped him 3 years before we met. But yeah, I know he loves me a lot and likes me better than anyone.
I know he likes me as a person, but it makes me sad to know that I'm not the most attractive girl to his (because to me, he is the most attractive guy I've ever been with).
how important is physical appearance to you?
It is important. Not the only thing that matters,not even the most important one, but it matters. Especially when it comes to sexuality and general chemistry, the fact that my boyfriend is really good looking and I can't deny that it is great and it definitely gets me going.
I'd love him no matter how he looked, I think we're basically soulmates and he's the only person I felt this way about. But yeah, the fact that he's a really hot guy is really nice.
why would he even keep you around if he finds you repulsive? obviously its not because he cant do any better. calm the fuck down, get yourself back in shape, and remember that theres a pretty good chance he wants you for more than just your looks. protip: the super hot girls are usually a pain in the ass. there is a reason we compromise on the looks a bit after weve been through a few of them. if you just chill, start working out and whatnot, and continue to be who you have been the whole time, your bf will be a happy and satisfied man
t. attractive dude who has seen this shit many times, both first and second hand
you may be experiencing pic related then. but regardless doesnt matter if you take a step back and look at him and find that hes truly a good person.
but hes with you. thats all that matters. if he didnt like the way you looked he woultn be with you. but as a guy when a girl gets fat we look down on them for being lazy and inconsiderate towards us (the bf) no guy wants a fat gf. A TELLTALE sign of this is lowered libido but you said he is a horny devil because of you so thats likely not the case.
i think this is a classic case of blowing things WAAAAY out of preportion. I reccomend trying to avoid problems instead of trying to find them.
But as everyone keeps telling you if hes with you hes attracted to you. thats all there is to it and im done saying it. theres no problem here anymore.
sounds like a personal problem
dump him for someone who you think is more your level
>I'd love him no matter how he looked
At least dont lie to yourself
I honestly would. I like him a lot as a person, I can't see myself dating anyone else after I met him.
I'm not going to lie: the fact that he is really hot is great. No matter how he looked, he'd still be the person I love.
We have a lot in common, we can talk for days, same sense of humour. We have the same values, we're both religious. He's the most romantic person I've ever met and treats me like a princess, he's a really good person (great relationship with family and friends, great with kids, generous and selfless), we have a solid future planned out together. And sex is really awesome.
Not saying he is flawless, but I love him a lot.
Lol, no.
He IS a great guy. Like, the fucking best person I've ever met.
He knows I am not lazy, I've been basically bedbound for 8 months while taking a lot of drugs that made me really hungry (birth control + steroids). I gained like 30 lbs. I'm willing to lose it, I just don't want to lose it like this - I'm a fucking wreck.
Thanks, user. I still feel like I should talk to him about this shit.
I told him I have an infection and can't have sex, but it won't last forever.
ohhhh ok. then that makes sense. shouldnt be on birth control in the first place it can make you permanently infertile. but yeah you need to eat so you can heal. just avoid junkfood etc and eat good portion sizes. or go 2 meals a day.
why lie to him? just be direct. personally if i found out you were being a baby about this shit and then lied to me about having an infection so no sex, id be a bit salty
>I've haven't eaten in 9 days
There's really no need for this kind of hyperbole. We would still take you seriously if you said, "I've had trouble keeping food down" or "I've barely eaten for the last few days".
If you actually haven't consumed any food for the last 9 days and you aren't putting on a show for us with that line, forget checking Jow Forums, go to an emergency room and get an IV before you black out.
I can't eat, the smell of food makes me want to throw up.
I had some tea with honey and that's it.
healthline.com
>Some of the side effects of starvation include: faintness ,dizziness, blood pressure drop, slowing heart rate, hypotension, weakness, dehydration, thyroid malfunction, abdominal pain, low potassium, body temperature fluctuation, post-traumatic stress or depression, heart attack, organ failure
home.bt.com
>Beyond 72 hours, your body is basically cannibalising itself. Without any stores of sugar and fat, your body looks to get energy from other sources and starts to use protein reserves.
>1 week: Without any vitamins or minerals, the body’s immune system starts to shut down along with any ‘unnecessary’ bodily functions like menstruation and libido.
See a doctor
yeah shut up faggot ive been over a month without food and been fine i almost died but that was like a month and a half going a month would be fine.
So ask your bf to work out together. That you want to get back in shape. Stop being crazy. We don't like crazy. Crazy bitches get dumped eventually.
I look at most of the girls I know who have happy, fulfilling and long term relationships and most of them are like you in that they're low maintenance in terms of makeup hair clothes, have good chemistry with their bf, and are in general great wife material.
If you're not like some disgusting slob I don't see why you're worried. Take a step back and relax on the neurotics- it's OK to feel a certain way but not if it's affecting you physically and emotionally like this.
On how to fix, I agree with the other anons that talking to a therapist a few times would be good.
Every girl thinks she’s fat. I’ve dated models and they are overrated. In my experience, girls with a little flesh are a lot more fun.
I would add a third category: Would bone after a few drinks but not admit it to anyone after.
This made me lol
I went to the ER. Got an IV. I'm waiting to talk to a psychologist they have here, who will refer me to another one I can talk to later on.
I can't work out, my spine is fucked. I do physical therapy and will be able to start doing sports again in like 18 months if it works out.
Thanks user, you're sweet.
I mean, I'm ACTUALLY fat. I didn't mind being a little fat, but now I feel like shit about it.
This dude obviously has Down syndrome but hes right you shouldnt worry. My first gf (we also got back together as my 3rd gf too) was a 10 out of 10 model (one of the top ones in our city). Now sure when i was with my ugliest gf i really wasnt all that wrapped up on our relatiobship bc her body was pretty meh. But when we fucked, kissed, got physical (which we did tons) i only thought about her, not other girls. Even though her body was meh there was a lot about her that turned me on, pretty much everything about her turned me on other than her body and hair. Looks really arent everything or as big a deal as you think. And being with the model sucked bc i forgave a lot of huge flaws just for her looks and thats no fun. And with her looks even though she was one of the top models in our city she was obsessed about how she didnt look like whatever current movie star all the guys liked... It was nuts. Plus it gets annoying having guys constantly drooling over your gf and making all your friends and family jealous bc your gf is so fine. Having a model gf really isnt all that and I'm still friends with her and her family
>be female
>see girl hotter than me
>end up in the hospital
cant make this shit up
It's mostly knowing that the man I love banged her for years that upsets me, not that she's hot. Most of the girls I'm friends with are hotter than her.
Just imagine knowing your girlfriend fucked a dude who was a lot better in bed and with a bigger dick than you.
>girlfriend fucked a guy besides me
dumped. gone. bye bye.
Dont break up with him you crazy bitch. He is with you for a reason. Maybe you can see a nutrition specialist that can help you manage your weight. Since you say you cant work out.
How do you know she was better in bed?you saw a picture and not a sex tape. We all have to accept our partners past relationships.
I'd never dump him. I just would like to stop hating myself enough to let him see me naked without having a panic attack. Would be awesome.
>How do you know she was better in bed?
I don't. He seems to enjoy sex with me a lot and says it is the best he ever had, but I think he'd tell me that whether it is true or not because he cares about me a lot.
I love low self esteem girls.
I’m not sure what kinda lard ball you’ve let yourself become...
I'm 5'7" and 165ish lbs (before I started starving myself because I'm nuts). My BMI is around 26 I want to say?
No problem. Would bone. That’s pretty much optimal hotness.