How did you find out they cheated?

Yes I’m ok. it’s been almost 2 years now. I was really messed up for about a year, I had to drop out of my physics degree halfway through due to needing to recover physically and emotionally.. trying to get back into it now. It was a lot to deal with, I didn’t even know he was on drugs, we had been together for years and we were engaged. Turns out he was getting on meth every weekend and fucking hookers then smashing Xanax on sundays so he could sleep before he went back to work for the week.

No, white. From Australia

It was always either
>they told me themselves
Or
>someone else knew about it and told me: My friend, her sister, etc

Except for the gf who acted like she died or ir something. Just disappeared out of the blue while on the way to meet her at a parade (we last talked that morning when she was leaving her house for the parade)

Ended up looking her up on FB a few days later and she had just added the "in a relationship" announcement to her FB page and everyone was congratulating the both of them so she was either seeing him on the side or was an old fling she reconnected with. No idea. I was fortunately able to let it go and not do anything despite having my head spinning in this huge mindfuck for weeks

And you never like... lost hope in finding someone good? My ex got cheated on by some guy she was with and fell in love with, who was fucking engaged the whole time. She said it "broke" her. And it kinda did, she was terrified of committing to me.

I feel like it'd be so hard to just move along and hope it doesn't happen again knowing full well people can hide who they are like that.

>hang out with a "coworker" who was a guy, at a bar, after her shift
>My girlfriend clearly cheated on me

holy trust issues batman

I mean there were other things, like one time she asked one of my friends to hang out with her in front of me, without including me in the conversation. Note that this is a guy who once fucked a girl I was dating, then I fucked her while he was dating her again, then we decided to never mess around with a girl the other is dating. She got offended when he said "haha naw" and shook my hand and left.

She was really cool and I liked her a lot but it just didn't feel good and I was worried too much. I maybe do need therapy but I'm too broke to get some.

Holy fuck dude. Glad you came out okay.

>had a shitty phone around when she moved down to the town I lived in
>gave her $15 iTunes gift card, told her she could have it if I could use her phone for games/YouTube once in a while
>she agrees, play a few games we downloaded when she's busy/in the bathroom/changing/etc
>go on a lunch date one afternoon
>she goes to bathroom, leaves her phone behind
>see a text from someone, we'll say Erin
>"I love you too :)"
>sus af, reported for cheating
>pull up text log
>they had both said "I love you"
>scroll up
>they had talked about having previously had sex
>"god, I miss the feel of your beard between my legs"
>she gets back
"Hey, what the fuck is this? Who the fuck is Erin?"
>"uh, a friend, a female friend"
"A female friend, you miss her beard between your legs tho huh?"
>"user we're JOKING, you and I joke like that all the time!"
>was true, we basically bonded by being over the top and sexual with each other with our jokes, even before dating
>"user it hurts me that you don't trust me :("
>don't wanna hurt gf
>believe her

>ff a few weeks later
>stay the night at her place
>phone blows the fuck up
>go to turn the volume off on everything but her alarms
>"Yeah, I'd like that ;)" in the text update bar
>UberSus.jpeg
>look again
>five different text logs with fresh updates, all generally thirsty shit
>several more that didn't have fresh updates
>she had sent nudes to most of them, some I had seen, some I had never seen before
>talked about going parking with one guy
>one log had her saying "I don't know if this is the right door haha, I don't wanna knock. Is this it?" with a picture of some guys door
>multiple logs wherein she talked about having already had sex, saying she'd like to again
>start sobbing like a bitch on the floor of her dorm room
>recovered some and left for mine, collapsed on the grass halfway, cried again
>posted on Jow Forums, pretty sure y'all just called me a cuck and told me to dump her
>get a call from her at 5:00 a.m. in the morning
CONT.

yeah man you made the right decision. You don't want to be with a girl like that

>"user, WAAAAAH, I'M SO SORRY user, WAHHHHH! I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH, I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE TALK TO ME!"
>not only mad about getting cucked, also pissed about her goofy ass waking me up when i have work the next morning
"We're gonna talk tomorrow."
>hang up
>go through work, think about nothing but her going out and fucking randos all day
>get home, almost don't meet up with her
>wind up doing it anyway
>she outright denies cheating
"okay but I saw the texts, stop bullshitting"
>"b-but, just... just k-kidding... here"
>she got me some fucking stupid "healing" crystal for $1.49 at some hippie shop, apparently thought I'd take her back over it
>Like the high-test man I was, I totally did and just made her promise not to ever do it again
>she made sure to tell me she'd kill herself if I dumped her

>ff MAYBE another two weeks
>she's been hanging out and drinking with her new friend from class
>some 30 yo dude with his own place
>spent the night at his place on the reg
>stopped having as much sex with me
>one of the few times she did, her pussy was full of a white drippy fluid before we started
>she had been at her friend's place earlier that day
>"I don't fucking know user, god, it's probably discharge!"
>oh ok lol sounds about right my b
>still didn't wanna believe she was doing it
>ff a few days, sitting in her dorm watching tv
>play some games on her phone, texts from some fucking dude
>another several weeks' worth of texts
>had the same Erin guy in her contacts, just changed his name to a girl's name
>she had fucking Tinder on her phone
>go for a run after getting pissed at her
>tell her we're going to talk the next day, wanna dump her face to face because muh respect or some gay shit lol
>tfw she texts me she wanted to break up while I'm running, deleted me on facebook the next day
Epic

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We all move on eventually. Usually the best thing is to just cut them out of your life, since most cheaters are the really awful sort who do it repeatedly, get caught, and want to use their victim to make themselves feel better by being their "friend" after the relationship is over.

you are a gigantic faggot oh my god. the least you could've done was introduce a hotter chick to her and then fuck her while she watches

And then people call me incel for dropping facts about women being waking garbage.
I'd rather an hero and take some with me to Hell than be labeled a cuck the rest of my life.

She told me that she was visiting/hanging out with "friends", in the city she claimed that she knew no one and try to guilt me about it, even the day before (I was away and we were on a break).

Yet, I offered us a change, that was the purpose of the break (we were on three years relationship). Rejected.jpg. Felt like shit for a few days, then I started lifting, focused on getting my driving license and a new job, still in process feels good to move on with that. And I read a shit load of arcticles, books, watched videos about man-woman relationship (to understand what I fucked up) and general psychology so I can fix my own issues. Long process, tough, still think about her (it's been a month since the breakup) but I feel far better and confident than I ever been. Next step is to work on my social skills and become an über-normie.

Damn, dude sounds alpha as fuck. No wonder you fell in love with him.

based bogans lmao

shit happened to me to
>oh im going out of town with friends
>guilt trips you into making no big deal about it
then they get back and try to damage control it, i guess at least she told me but be careful guys

are you a druggie aswell

I have been cheated on in the past and I only found out when she told me after deciding she wanted to break up.

I have a different girlfriend now, been with her 2 years and we’re moving in together soon. I’m sort of cheating on her. I feel bad about it and try to stay away from the other girl but I genuinely have feelings for both of them. Experiencing this side of things for myself has helped give me some perspective and realize that my ex wasn’t evil, just torn between two people like I am now.

Uh no, you’re just being unfair towards your girlfriend and you can’t justify that.

I’m being unfair towards both girls really, and my girlfriend is the one who gets the majority of my affection and attention. The other loves me so much she settles for scraps. I haven’t even had sex with her. She’s probably the one suffering the most in this situation. My girlfriend is happy and will remain happy as long as she never finds out. Ignorance is bliss.

That’s just making your girlfriend live a lie. You are emotionally cheating and sex is just a matter of time.

>emotionally cheating

kek

Shit, I thought I had it bad with my 4 year relationship.
My story
>4 years into relationship
>Talked about the future, made plans for wedding, was going to look at houses together
>Told her I am going to propose, but not how or when
>She is delighted
>Suddenly she starts pushing me away emotionally and physically
>States work has been overwhelming her
>Get's different job
>Still distant
>Straight up ignores me for two weeks
>Breaks up over text, gives me long speech basically "It's not you, it's me" and "You're such a great guy I am sorry" blah blah blah bullshit to avoid telling me the truth
>Turns out she was seeing some other guy behind my back, her fucking sister and best friend were in on it and helping her hide the relationship
>I basically had to guilt her best friend into telling me the truth, almost made her cry
>Sister is lesbian feminist who doesn't even feel guilt or shame, I've literally seen her cheat (should've known) so got nothing out of her
>Found out a few days ago
I feel numb, angry, sad, humiliated, insignificant. I can't sleep.

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emotional cheating isn’t a thing. you can’t control it or help it if you have feelings for someone else, as long as user isn’t acting on those feelings he isn’t really cheating and should be applauded.

Yeah, seems to be a common pattern. It's interesting the logic they can pull off in order to justify their selfish behavior. It hurts but I'm glad it's done now.

That's your own fault if she's suffering. You could also tell the other girl that you are in a relationship and you both have to move on. Funny how you admit the issue but you won't do anything.

meant for

>Have gf of 3 years
>First long distance, then she came to my city
>Everything's okay, we have sex on the regular, pretty normal stuff
>I leave for an abroad stay
>First month goes okay, she buys me pizza for valentine's, whatever
>Then she goes pretty much no contact, barely responds to my text
>I come back, she says we need to talk
>She tells me she met a guy, and they fucked pretty much the day they met, she love him blabla, we can't be together anymore
>Leave and get into a neurotic spiral of alcoholism, and work

I got cucked pretty fucking hard. She didn't care much about me I think. She thought I was below her, that she could do better than me. I still have trouble forming sane emotional bonds. It's been about a year, and I think it'll last for quite a long time. I found some peace in working out like a retard, and studying.

To me choosing someone to be my partner who treats me well and we get along trumps even thinking about someone else. Even during hard times, it is a test of our ability to communicate and work together. Perhaps my sense of loyalty is off the charts.

Keep up the good work user. Got cucked in an almost identical way to you, except it turned out she had a personality disorder. Exercise is fantastic for dealing with the bullshit

She was a poor liar. I could tell the way she looked at other men when we go out for drinks, and when I confront her about her flirty behavior, she rebuffs it or argue that I was paranoid, when even someone as dumb as Forrest Gump could tell what the hell she was doing, she has very expressive eyes. Turned out I was right when one day she caved in and disappeared for two days straight and slept with some who just had twins with someone!
BPD, not even once. Thank God I didn't assault her or else she would be laughing in bed while I'm behind bars.

I've pretty much been cheated on like that too, the moment she met him I was basically an old rag that she had to dispose of in order to use the new one after 4 years of being with me. The way she stone cold told me that she slept with him because it just felt right was the closest I've come to jumping over the table and choking someone to death. I've dreamed about it for over two years. But I'd say after around the two year mark you're out of the woods.

My man, i feel for you.

Now you have to dump that bitch from you head, dont let her control you anymore. Fix what is broken and look ahead in your life. Find somebody better.

>her eyes kept wandering looking at random guys when we hang out
>since the first date (July)
>just in the near end of the relationship I mentioned this and she called me crazy
>ff 4 months
>i curiously snoop at her stuff
>2 weeks later i snoop harder
>i found out she asked in our 5th week together if a guy from a far away would come to fuck her one more time in October, the guy nopes (lives far away)
>after the second time I snooped I thought about what to do for a week
>decide to tell her to try to understand her passioned about this guy, and maybe improve our relationship?
>tell her in person (while forgiving her), she blames me for snooping
>demand to see her phone
>had sext in the 7th week of us together with a random guy
>went back to the dating app we met (talked to no one as far as I know)
>I decide to forgive her
>everything is normal?
>next week she mentions my clothes in her house
>and ask why did I snoop her stuff
>panickmode.on
>we meet a few days later
>she returns my clothes and asks for a break in our relationship and mentions open relationship (she knew I wouldn't accept it)
>she leaves me hanging for 2 weeks
>meet her in person and she breaks up with me
>Also tells me that she wanted to breakup in the day I told her I snooped her stuff
Its been 2 months since the breakup (the relationship lasted 5 months), I'm actually better since a month ago (vacations so lots of free time and it doesn't help when dealing alone with these stuff). The drama already started when I snooped the second time (so 2 motnhs of suffering). It's a lesson. She basically used me as a bandaid to recover from being passioned about that guy.
She was a very good liar, even though I never caught her lying, she would sometimes explain things too well.
As far as I know those were the cheating stuff she did, maybe there were more things.
>Remember that time you confused a life lesson for a soulmate?

He told me a half truth.
Said that he talked to a girl online and that he'd never do it again. He cried and said he had depression issues and that he would change. I was really hurt, but encouraged him to get help for his depression. We stayed together for a while and i thought things were good, but he grew more distant by the day. He'd flake out on me and forget to answer my messages.
I got suspicious and asked him about what was wrong. I asked him if i did something to push him away. He told me i was being paranoid, but he didn't want to talk to me.... he didn't want to kiss me or touch me or even hug me. We had been together 5 years.

I know it was an invasion of privacy, but i knew his passwords for everything. I checked his facebook and he'd been meeting and hooking up with 5 girls on the side.

Felt awful. I was head over heels for him the entire 5 years. He was my first everything and I thought we'd get married and have a happy family.

>And how did you move on / deal with it?
Took me a long time, reading about relationships etc, and also getting to understand that people have different morals, some won't accept their errors as a way to protect their ego. And closure is never found in the other part. You find the closure for yourself. Also knowing that relationships are mainly lessons, they start and they end. That's it. But you can always learn from them.
BTW what led me to tell her I snooped was that during the relationship she would show her affection to me (saying "I love you", making hearts with our hands, etc...). And this just made my recovery worse, not getting that people can have such emotional fluctuations.

Yeah I've been dealing with anger issues since that incident. I was a rag tho desu. I noticed signs before, like she installed tinder, but I was too much of a pussy to do shit. I'd spend my days smoking weed and complaining about politics.
I used that anger to better myself, but it is not very healthy. I'm pretty much an angry person now, very salty about everything.

If anybody reads this: if you see some signs, confront them and dump them. Do not hesitate. Cut all contact, do not beg for attention. Drop them from your life, delete them, clean up everything. It's the only way to heal from this.

bumpo for interest

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Yeah, it just sucks because she's such an otherwise good person. I'm glad I never had to find out she did anything so my image of her is still (mostly) in tact. If I knew she was legitimately a cheater or something, it would suck so bad.

She did tell me once "If I ever cheated on you I would tell you right away", which was reassuring, but words are easy to say.

Based Hamlet poster

>You could also tell the other girl that you are in a relationship and you both have to move on.

She knows. And I can’t bring myself to do that because I love her and we’ve been friends for a long time.

nothing unusual really
came home to see her with a good friend of mine. no escalations or anything, just told her to pack her shit up and leave before I called the cops

she texted be nonstop afterwards that I was ugly and short and that'd I'd never find love
that was 4 years ago and now I'm 24 and haven't had sex or a gf since.