Ok so I'm dating someone that had sexual relationship with an ex-coworker who was/is a player. I know this guy and know he banged plenty of girls in every job he ever had and got in plenty of trouble for it. Their relationship though ended amicably. His and mine however did not, I actually beat him up for fucking my cousin when she had just turned 18 like a month before. I mean the motherfucker is good, but he's in his mid twenties and she was still in HS ffs, exercise some goddamn restraint on a fucking pick up. It's "technically" ok but come on, right? Guy caught an ass whoopin. With his lifestyle choice? It happens.
Anyway, I found out my current gf and him used to bang on the regular. I can't let this shit go and am actually really thinking of dumping her over it. Not so much because they fucked but more so because she still seems to have something other than a low opinion of him. See, he's a POS. He has a kid and instead of trying to build a stable happy home for his boy he's off partying and fucking around like he's still 18. Now that's fine, it's his life and he can live it how he wants but that doesn't mean everyone else has to agree with his bullshit.
I like my gf, we've been dating for 5 months now and have started talking about her moving in with me but this kind of put a freeze on things. I need to resolve this because I can't get her total shit judgement out of my head. How in the fuck do you not only open your legs for an obvious con like him but then go on thinking it was an alright idea? How do I approach this without essentially calling her a dumb slut?
I mean just be honest with her, because she both should know that this is going on with you and you should be able to talk to her about shit. For a lot of people you can just have sex with someone and not care about who they are as a person, and this might have been what was going on with them. It could have just been sex.
Also 5 months is really fast to be moving in together, but that’s my opinion.
Dylan Murphy
If I was honest with her I'd be calling her a fucking retard. I mean, the guys whole schtick is basically talking in a low voice next to the chick and asking her questions about herself all while making the conversation more and more sexual. He's been doing it since HS and I did it for a while until I realized it was a complete con job that was useless at actually building a relationship. And she fell for it. And still thinks it's fine.
What kind of retard thinks this is fine?
Jeremiah Gray
>what kind of retard thinks this is fine?
The girl you’ve chosen to date lol
OP if you think so negatively about this then why are you even still with your girlfriend?
>and she fell for it
Oh so you were there when they started hooking up? Do you not think it’s possible your girlfriend was just using him for sex?
Angel Thompson
>OP if you think so negatively about this then why are you even still with your girlfriend? I'm hoping to god I'm wrong and she has a good explanation. Something that I not only want to hear but sounds plausible and relatable. Because as it stands and as I said I'm really about to dump her over this. I HATE this douche bag, for her to have an opinion at odds with that just, I can't fucking stomach it.
Neutral would be acceptable, but to think "he's ok". Fuck that, no, no he isn't.
Jack Hughes
Most women have dated a douchebag. Your next gf is the same.
Dominic Lewis
I don't mind them dating a douchebag if they can recognize he's a douchebag. The ability to recognize past mistakes and errors in judgement is something I value. If she's incapable of this she isn't worth my time. But what I recognize is that it will be difficult to approach the subject without riskign immediately offending her. Which is kind of what I'm asking you for.
How do I approach this? Do I just say, "that guy you fucked is a totally worthless dumbass and you should feel bad"? I've never really been in this position before.
Caleb Carter
Ask her what she sees in him and then ask her what she sees in you. Your likely to get an answer you don't like. If your feeling she's not being honest with her answers, you need to dump her. That means she's got a complex with that kinda guy and your likely to be dealing with this type of thing in the future. If she doesn't want to get into it, dump her. Transparency should be a mutual agreement between partners and if there isn't any, then there is no relationship. Also don't name call, she isn't stupid, she's just doing what her Gene's are programming her to do. You'd do the same in her position, trust me. All you can do is evaluate wether she cares more about you than her feeling for him.
Brody Hall
You should stop giving a fuck and stop thinking or talking about it. Why are you so insecure OP? She made her mistakes and found a presumably good guy (you) right? Even if you dump her, the next woman you date will have a high chance of having dated a douche or two in her lifetime, mine as well go gay.
Im also telling you from experience, my wife dated a douche or two and they were wayyyy older, until she met me, i was a douche but just not as much as them, we now have a kid and are a happy family.
Stop being a faggit and be a man, if you're that upset start fucking guys and see how you like it
Thomas Davis
see
James Scott
You're better off not bringing it up desu - you'll just make yourself seem insecure and possibly inspire her to start fucking him again. It's generally bad practice to trash talk another guy with a guy, especially if she's fucked him.
Forget all these chumps who say "Just communicate bro" like fuck that shit. Stay with her but don't commit and keep an eye out for a new one who won't make you feel angry. Hell use her even - she's used to it
Carson Brooks
As stated by a beta cuck.
Colton Collins
I've just been here so many times... OP needs to manage his expectations because obviously he won't easily resolve this issue.
Elijah Fisher
How is he a beta cuck? Stop projecting via ad hominem
Samuel Hughes
Idk. When picking a girl up you're right. But we're in an established relationship. I'm going to have negative opinions of other people and sometimes those people will be male.
It's going to happen.
You can't and shouldn't game a girl in perpetuity
Jeremiah Cooper
You're completely obsessed with this dude
Joseph Watson
Then whenever he's brought up just mention that you hate him because he's an immature, irresponsible douche that puts his own interests ahead of his kid's. Otherwise don't be the one to make him enter the discussion and just have your argument about why he sucks prepared in advance.
Asher Rivera
OP you need to dump that bitch right now. She'll fuck him again but then again she might be too old for him now.
Anyway, you don't have to call her a dumb slut though she is a dumb slut. Just tell her its not working for you and she's not what you want. You don't have to give detail but by telling her she's not what you want at least you get a dig in. Do it today
Chase Sanders
you're talking about moving in with her? in other words, you're both whores, living in sin and intending to escalate you need to pray
Matthew Brooks
How the fuck did you find out she formerly was his piece of ass and left such a glowing impression on her?
She of course is entitled to her opinion of the guy but so are you. Trying to talk to her and reason won't work, she'll defend him even more. You're only 5 months in, found something you shouldn't live with, so split.
I wouldn't tell her why. I guarantee with her glowing opinion of this shit hole guy any other decent guy will dump her too.
You can't change the type guy she's attracted to and agree with your point about mistakes and making changes but she still adores the guy so she doesn't view him as a mistake.
James Davis
Just tell her in detail how you kicked his ass. That will get her wet and will make her consider him a pussy and lose her respect for him
> I need to resolve this because I can't get her total shit judgement out of my head. How in the fuck do you not only open your legs for an obvious con like him but then go on thinking it was an alright idea? How do I approach this without essentially calling her a dumb slut? DEAD RELATIONSHIP WALKING, WE GOT A DEAD RELATIONSHIP WALKING
Ian Wilson
Whores are for pump and dump not dating. You are a pathetic loser. The other guy is based and fucks all the bitches while you take the leftover used goods. No self respect? Lol!
Brody Nelson
Don't ask her nothing, she won't tell you the true, at least not the one you want to hear. You know very well the guy, a con man as you said, and the girls he likes to target. Your girl is not a whore, is just a person who has needs, she felt ok banging this guy, no big deal. If you can't get over this in a healthy and clean way, you better walk away from this relationship.
I recommend you Closer, is a great movie related to this topic. Good luck user.
Jayden Carter
This
Matthew Collins
This feels like the sort of thing where the guy fucked your cousin, now your girlfriend, and next will be your mom aunt's and Grandma's and you'll have to live with it. That, or smash his mouth and hands so he can't keep manipulating. Your call, chief.
Carter Jackson
>manipulating So apparently women are never to blame for their actions because they are too stupid to understand what they are doing. Yet wahmyn are stronk and independent and equal. You cant have both. Islamization cant happen fast enough. Women will only stop being whores when western cuck men like you and op have been replaced by strong muslims who keep their women on a tight figurative leash underneath a burqa.
Michael Carter
OP you should move to another city, somewhere this guy hasn't already fucked every female
Nathan Nguyen
>She made her mistakes She isn't calling it a mistake though, that's his problem, bruh
Cameron Garcia
I don't think a place like that exists.
Jacob Clark
Basedowl. I'd just bite the bullet and look for someone else. I could list the concerns but you seem to have a grasp of that. The real concern is that the damage is already done.
Benjamin Robinson
Dump her
Kayden Roberts
Unless she brings something else to the table other than her ass. Is she a good partner?
Dylan Barnes
You know what would be awesome? If his gf actually gets pregnant with his "friend's" child.
Josiah Hughes
OP here, here's an Update. Thanks to Jow Forums for their advice, had a talk with the gf, here's what happened: >get drunk with the gf at her place >start talking about exes, first the good ones >then the bad ones >she follows suit >doesn't mention player guy, lets call him Raph >ok.png >You know Mike, the guy that got married to Jan in December? We went to his wedding? Great guy, peace corps veteran, organized relief effort for flood last month. >start talking about Kim who was Mikes gf in college before Jan >they dated for 5 years >One day Raph invited Mike to his apartment >Kim was blowing Raph when Mike walked through the door >Raph took a picture >the absolute madman >distanced myself from Raph after this >became bros with Mike >known Raph since Middle School >we both gamed girls all through HS and college >but the nigga crossed the damn line, that was some cold, petty bullshit >Mike is a standup guy >Raph gets all pissy >fucks my cousin who had only been 18 for two months >gets his ass whooped >gf says "but she was legal" >ohhellno.wav >bitch the nigga was 25 at this goddamn point and she was barely 18, we were also longtime friends >not to mention the fag only did it to piss me off so mission accomplished on his end ass whoopin earned >gf still tries to defend Raph "she was still legal, she fucked up not Raph" >ask her if they dated when they both worked at that one restaurant >she says yes >ask if they saw each other exclusively >she says "I did, he didn't" >I tell her we're done >I get up and get in the uber I called 20 minutes ago because I already knew how this was going to go >as I leave I tell her she should go back to being his bottom bitch if she likes pimps with whores so much >she starts crying and cussing me out >I get in the car and tell the driver to take me home, block her on sm I'm asking this cute cashier girl out tomorrow.
She can go right ahead, she'll be like his other babymomma, broke and lonely. pic related, it's my ex gf.
Censored b/c you're goddamn animals and while I'm mad, I'm a lot more disappointed than I am angry. She doesn't deserve a bunch of Jow Forums jackasses calling her a whore.
She wasn't bad tbhbruhv. We've known each other for a little over a year and I friendzoned her for a while. She was pretty nice and supportive but I always felt she was kinda holding out and holding back. For example I had to piece together that she and Ralph had dated/fucked and know about her opinion of him from mutual friends. Not from her.
So she had managed to stay shady which was my initial gut feeling with her and why I friendzoned her to begin with. But she was a nice piece of ass, not going to lie. When she got dolled up going to her place for coffee was great. She's also been pushing me to get a masters but that could have always been to add to her own prestige. All in all I think I made the right choice.
Bitch was all kinds of shady. Not just about this but did you know I never met any of her family other than her senile old mom? Not a fucking one. And they all supposedly live within a days drive and love her very very much.
It's all the closure you're going to get either way.
