Meet a guy on a dating site

>meet a guy on a dating site
>we start exchanging messages
>I'm not sure at first whether I like him or not, but ultimately decide that I do not
>I try to give him hints at my declining interest by being a bit less responsive, being slower to respond to messages, etc (though I'm not outright cold because I would feel mean, so I remain fairly sweet and friendly)
>He eventually asks me how I feel about him
>I tell him that he's not really what I'm looking for in a person
>"You sure? You could tell me what you're looking for, in case there's a misunderstanding or something"
>I tell him that I just don't have feelings for him
>"Okay, that's cool. Good luck to both of us, then!"

Am I being a bitch for thinking he was too persistent and somewhat annoyed? Would this count as mild harassment?

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i feel like you didn't do that bad. Fuck. You felt concerned afterwards, i dont think you just slammed him with rejection

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No, I did fine; what I'm wondering about is whether I feel justified in thinking he was being a little stalkerish.

It's usually worse to play with his hopes and let him think that he actually has a chance with you, if you don't want anything with the guy tell him outright and he'll stop bothering you. It's only harassment if he keeps bothering you after you tell him no

Yeah, that's not really nice that you wanted to drag out the interraction after you had already made your decision. You can't honestly be surprized that he was shocked when you finally pulled away.

No, ""Okay, that's cool. Good luck to both of us, then!" was the last thing he said to me. That was a few days ago.

Yeah, he's not out to harass you after you finally turned him down. But he was not reading your mind that your slow burning of a bridge was outright rejection for when you kept replying to him.

Weak bait but Jow Forums takes anything.

What? How is that stalkerish? If it's about the "you sure" part he obviously just had a hard time accepting it and was trying to make sure he didnt still have a chance if he changed himself or whatever. What about this interaction is even a little bit "stalkerish?" Do you even know the definition of the word stalker, you dumb fucking midget?


I dont know what annoys you about it. That guy was a desperate lonely incel, there are worse out there, this guy just said best of look for the both of us in the end. Yes you are a little bitch, like not as in lil' bitch, but "a little" bitch indeed

how tall are you

How was he a desperate lonely incel? Substantiate this. What makes you say this? I can't see anything wrong with what he said, like, at ALL. Just wondering where people like you draw the line.

you didn't like him, and you said it. whatever.
want me to fuck you instead?

I think once you decide you dont like him you should have been upfront about it, honestly. Dating sites are rough for guys, so generally anybody that responds, we also respond to.
I dont think you were mean or anything, just a tip for the future I guess? It sounds like both of you were kind and understanding about it so all is good

Guys, please read more carefully. I am not ashamed of my behavior. I'm asking whether HIS was bad.

no, it wasn't
what the fuck

Yea in no way was he going “stalkerish.” He was just making sure that you weren’t open to talking to him more to find out what he really is like. That’s the problem with meeting people over text- you can easily misinterpret or miss things about someone. I’d say it sounds to me like you didn’t like the small amount of him you saw via text (I’m not saying it’s wrong), and you decided to cut it off. He wanted to make sure you were really done and not open, and was cool after knowing you were. I see no issue.

Eh. If you say so.

I am a desperate lonely incel. I mean, if he were a self-confident chad he wouldn't give a fuvk about anything. In this context I didnt mean lonely incel as in a negative way

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>i dont like you
>are you sure
you think just cause the dude said are you sure means he was being a legit fucking stalker lol... truly schizophrenic stuff... yeah babe he was clearly plotting to murder you with an axe too, you should call the police immediately

good bait

otherwise, you are a cunt for thinking his reaction was bad. go deal with some real assholes out there and then come talk to us about harassment

who cares
answer the question

The more you harp on thinking his was bad, the more you come off as unlikable. This kind of thing is why I'm terrified of even attempting to form relationships with women, romantic OR platonic

careful bro youre stalking

Damn straight.

Too late, he needs to be sent to a reeducation camp. The rape culture is too far gone with him.

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I don't know if this is meant to be bait, I don't really care either way, but maybe you're just autistic.

No, what he did was not over the line. People have to take time to reply to messages for many different reasons. Remaining your "sweet and friendly" self gives him reason to believe that maybe you have a job, friends, or a life, and can't be responsive to him at all times.

Good on him for asking and moving along, good for him for being nice about the end. Shitty of you for not just being forthcoming when you realized how you felt.

Listen, I'd get it if this guy was someone you met in class, or at a bar, and you slowly stopped responding, trying to make things more friendly than romantic. But you're on a dating site, where you need to be more clear here.

>I try to give him hints at my declining interest by being a bit less responsive, being slower to respond to messages, etc (though I'm not outright cold because I would feel mean, so I remain fairly sweet and friendly)

don't do this lol. Guys are generally pretty hopeful and he was probably thinking there was still a chance. They don't really pick up on hints like women do and need to be told directly or they won't understand.
nope he doesn't come off as stalkerish and seems like he took it pretty well

Men lack the gene for understanding hints. You have to tell us, directly and in short sentences, exactly what you mean or we just won't get it. So he wasn't being a pest. He honestly didn't realize you were trying to break with him

>Would this count as mild harassment?

stop victimizing yourself after leading someone on you dumb cunt

Not really, since most likely he would not have continued displaying interest if you had told him earlier.
When you egg someone on and distance yourself at the same time, it doesn't cancel out. What happens is they get confused and try to find out what's going on, and THAT implies closing in, being confrontational etc. Which can look stalkerish, but only if you don't realize that you're causing it.

>I am not ashamed of my behavior.
I'm starting to think you should be, you're far more obsessive than him lmao.

>Would this count as mild harassment?
This better be bait you dumb whore

If you're that worried he might be outside your window with binoculars looking to trap you in his rape dungeon by putting a box+stick trap over some anime DVDs, then the solution is simple;

Send him a link to this damned thread.
He'll realise you're a batshit and run for the hills, dropping his taser and 15-inch thrust-o-matic jet-engine-modded fuck machine on his way out.

I wouldn't class it as harassment, but it certainly reeks of desperation. You're right to be annoyed, I'd advise that next time you have this thing happen to you, let him know you aren't that interested if he doesn't seem to get the hint after the first three or four days of decreased conversation.

>meet lonely guy on dating site
>give vague, cryptic messages to show disinterest
>"Why is he still talking to me?"
I bet you're the type of girl who call guys creepy just for genuinely being friendly.

>You could tell me what you're looking for
See this pisses me off too OP. A guy sees you and decides you are right for him and he is willing to pretend to be something he isn't and believes you are so stupid you don't know.

You've angered the incels now, OP.
Nice b8.

he wasn't stalkerish at all
maybe a little eager to please but beyond that is absurd.

Yes, you are a bitch, he did nothing wrong

Fucking whore

I have a feeling you've never actually been stalked before otherwise you wouldn't have posted such an embarrassingly stupid post.