Im never getting over my ex she had bpd and was as mentally fucked as me...

Im never getting over my ex she had bpd and was as mentally fucked as me. So what can i do to cope being alone for the rest of my life ?

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Look, the entire idea of finding one person who will be everything you need in terms of emotional support and sexual compatibility for the rest of your natural life is a fucking delusion.

People don't work like that.

You're not supposed to "get over" people. You're supposed to try and understand everything you can about them, and if there are irreconcilable differences between the way you see yourselves, then you learn more about the ways you can be seen, and you use this information to better inform you about the people with whom you form relationships.

Bill Dauterive is Al Bundy if him and Peg ever split, but without the Dunning-Krueger effect. He's the walking caricature of a man whose best years are behind him, and who constantly misses the opportunities he might have to find happiness because he feels he's lost the one chance he had at companionship instead of finding it in the admittedly imperfect world that surrounds him.

The problem is that we live in a world where people play jealous, possessive games of human ownership instead of respecting the other as a complete and complex human being.

As long as you keep thinking of her as an "ex," she is not a complete person to you.

Maybe you're not to her either, but it doesn't mean you have to keep providing resistance in a tug-of-war game that you've clearly already lost.

Just walk away from it and hope she doesn't hang herself with the rope.

It's literally the only solution

Because it's what love actually means.

You can't. The pain will stay with you forever. All you can do is abide the loss. There are no other way. It's over. The pain will never go away. You will never change because your emotions has already taken control over you and you know it. You lost the power over your emotions. Her and yourself have ruined all that was pure and real. All you can do is mending it by drugging yourself to sleep.

Yeah, that's spoken like someone who has been defeated.

I'm not saying that I haven't been, or that I don't drug myself to sleep, but if you ever thought you had power over your emotions to begin with, then that's the idea that defeated you, not to mention that toxic notion of "ruin[ing] all that was pure and real."

Think about it: if you really had the ability to choose who you preferred to others, then what would the meaning of "preference" be?

What algorithm would you use to determine which others were "worth" choosing, and what collection of attributes would they have to have to qualify as "the one?"

This logic is a recipe for the kind of perfectionistic thinking that deludes us into religious belief, and for those who don't have a god, there are only other people.

But whether your god is an eternal concept or the person looking into your eyes as you first open them in the morning, there's no promise that they'll be there the next morning unless you stay asleep, and that's the source of the pain.

You are talking out of your ass. Too seeking and honestly, I'm not a perfectionists. The emotional manipulation and abuse caused by BPD can have significant emotional toll on once ability to maintain an healthy emotional state. Ordinary people have more power over their emotions and impulses, that people with BPD and Bipolar disorder have trouble processing. BPD break up is rarely about dealing with loss, but rather the abuse and emotional distress that came with BPD.

>You are talking out of your ass

Literally who isn't right now?

Like, you're a fucking human being with experiences, and so am I.

We're talking about the difficulty of maintaining unreasonable expectations of other people, and the pain of losing hope that any other might be capable of fulfilling all of our own.

Where's the university who gives those degrees out, and please tell me what "credentials" a person might obtain in becoming an authority on those matters, because I'm pretty sure that we're all just slap-boxing each other in this shitty little sandbox, and your negativity makes me want to slap you back, but I genuinely feel so bad for anyone who thinks that "ordinary people" means anything more than some book from the seventies (and some movie from the eighties that decided they'd just go ahead and steal the Canon in D Major from Pachelbel, because muh public domain) that I just can't find it in me to be mad.

Being able to diagnose a problem doesn't provide any more of a cure than deciding the name of the place you're trying to get to provides a clear path toward your destination.

You can Google Maps this shit your whole life, but you're still gonna have to figure out if you're walking, taking the bus, driving, or flying there.

I'm sorry for your experience having been abused, though. I think most people are in more ways than they realize, though, and it's not excuse to abuse others.

What the fuck is all this stupid shit?

Sorry but there is such thing as differences in brain waves and chemicals. It's easy to say that; "Hey, life is a shitsandwich. Fucking chew on it."
I wouldn't trivialize serious and dangerous disorders as something like a flimsy character flaw, then you don't seem to understand how serious the situation is. So many lives get affected by the disorder, not just the sufferer. BPD is a dangerous disorder that require a lot of therapy and medicine to maintain. It's not a phase or something that you can simply walk off. Lives are at stake and many go through psychosis that could have permanent toll on the sufferer and those that are close to them.

Nuthin much. Just ignore it. You're too smart for this stupid shit.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Oh, okay. So you're saying that there are people whose understanding of this life is so deviant from the norm that they are a danger to others, yet you fail to explain what danger they are outside of being some "sufferer" of a disorder, even though they have never intentionally harmed another to the best of their intentions.

That sounds really nice.

If I'm standing in the way of that, then I'm perfectly willing to die in favor of those "normal" people who my weird questions are preventing from finding happiness.

So just wait me out. You'll win out with your normalcy, and my weird little freakish deviations will clearly fall asunder as some failed mutation that the proper kind of human will succeed as the natural order, just like Darwin predicted.

I don't really care anymore, user. If I'm not supposed to be here, then why am I?

Pithy. Quotable. I would place this as something Larry would say in a classic episode of "Three's Company," 10/10.

>yet you fail to explain what danger they are outside of being some "sufferer" of a disorder, even though they have never intentionally harmed another to the best of their intentions.

There are many kind of dangers that someone with BPD could cause. Lack of impulsivity, such as going on a reckless spending of ones life savings in one night, as well as substance abuse. Maliant manipulation, death threats, unfaithfullness, narcissism, rapid moodswings, megalomania. psychological and physical assault, negligence, paranoia and psychotic episodes of life treating proportions. Borderline personality disorder is not just about depression, anxiety and self-harm. Borderline's are bordering on the psychotic spectrum because their abusive upbringing have become hardwired into their psyche that being an abusive and uncaring POS is the only way to cope with distress. Lack of empathy is one of the major concerns of the disorder. Fucking use google.

Lack of impulse control*

>such as going on a reckless spending of ones life savings in one night, as well as substance abuse. Maliant manipulation, death threats, unfaithfullness, narcissism, rapid moodswings, megalomania. psychological and physical assault, negligence, paranoia and psychotic episodes of life treating proportions

Well, I guess yeah. So, the question remains as to why you are participating in the ability of such a one to manipulate such things.

So, someone spends their life savings on you in one night.

They're not your life savings.

Just let them. They'll eventually die.

Maybe they'll learn from it. Maybe you're doing them a favor.

If they physically abuse you, then you will not need to ask, and nor should you.

Fuck physical abuse. It's not worth it.

If they ever suggest such a thing, then politely refuse them. Anyone who would insist on such a thing is an abuser.

This is really not that hard, but it also is, and I have no sympathy for anyone who might disagree.

Life is dumb. You might die and come back as someone you wish you could have been.

If it's not the case, though... you better just accept it.

What you need to do is work and make money

Bill never changed jobs.

He stayed at his same job and never got a change of scenery to get over his ex wife.

I am in a similar boat. After my breakup with a very serious gf I never went back to work again. I drank and did drugs and got involved with other girls half heartedly.

The advice I am giving you is advice I need too.

Live life a little by earning a piece of the pie and somebody will come along to share eating it with you.

Focus on the pie in the sky OP

Go Fight for your Heart back

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That is the problem with BPD. The sudden mood swings confuses the hell out of the partner, especially when their feelings for them are strong. They can suddenly turn hostile and back to normal again. Some of them masters the art of manipulation and can even cross over to full blown psychopathy. Most of them are repeating offenders. It's a personality disorder, not a phase. Indeed they can feel shame and regret for their actions but a lot of them still go through cycles of destructive behavior. Amy Winehouse is a good example of one with severe BPD. Relationships are usually intense and hectic.

Herp a derp a derp make money.

My heart is destroyed by money, you fucking dick.

But okay.

I'll do that. I don't really care any more.

Well, you've clearly figured out all of human behavior, so I'll go ahead and just defer to your expertise.

fucken tired of everyone asking how to get over thots, just find good friends and develop a deep bond/trust with them

I speak from experience and did some research. A lot of my friends are fuckheads.

i guess they're not "friends" then

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Nope. Not anymore.

Oh, well, then you clearly know what you're talking about.

I hope you learn something from this. Trust me, it can be a life saver knowing about the disorder.
That doesn't mean they're complete monsters though. With professional help, they can learn to manage and even recover from their destructive behavior.

Oh, okay. You keep believing that you can professionally understand humanity to the point where you determine what a normal human is. It's the kind of desultory thing that makes me want to die, but if you're right, then I don't want to live here anyway.

Good jorb, mang. Making people feel like they aren't human is the best way to make them want to die. You're really good at it.

it only works if they themselves want to cure

>their destructive behavior

Can I ask, though, exactly what the fuck is destructive about love?

Because if it's any kind that I've ever felt, it's not at all, and it's really only the weak, faltering fear of those who have never had the fortune of experiencing it who ever make these kind of claims.

But I don't want that for you. I don't know what kind of love you seek, but I do believe you deserve it, even if it's only because I believe you have suffered for not having had it, and even if it's something that I could never grant you.

This is all so annoyingly stupid. Nothing about this has to be complicated, and yet I have this feeling that you'll resort to some clinical definition of abnormality that a bunch of retarded people will nod their heads at, and which you'll gladly take as proof of your authority, and which has nothing to do with anything resembling the actual reality that either of us experience.

But if you really want to be right more than you want to be loved... then you are welcome to experience that hell.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

Maybe we both will in the long run.

That's convenient. Gotta want to be saved before god will save you, huh?

Nothing wrong with being abnormal. As long it's healthy and non-destructive. I'm just adressing the possibilities of untreated BPD and how serious the circumstances can be. It's possible for you to recover from negative aspects of your psyche. There are success stories among my former friends turning over a new leaf and lead a full functioning life. As long as you work on wellness and self improvement. Don't get hopeless.

What I learned from my friends is that love and hatred are two sides of the same coin. Some of them seem to confuse lust with love. All I know is that they are batshit insane.

>wellness and self improvement

I don't know what these terms mean, to be perfectly honest.

I have participated in more than my share of cognitive behavioral therapy exercises, though, and I have had hundreds of hours of therapy, and the fact is that as much as I learned how to check the boxes that might show improvement in a way that corresponded enough with the running out of whatever insurance money might justify the kind of industry-approved healing, have never been able to answer the question of what I'm here for.

Don't get me wrong; it's really awesome to have the support of people who tell you that I'm whatever I want to be... but it's only as supportive as I can manage to be in terms of whoever might convince anyone else that I deserve to live, ulitmately... and in terms of therapists and psychologists, well I sure hope they'd be the first to watch me get shot in the head for being whatever kind of abnormality would get me killed, because they have done an amazing job at being normal in ways that, even if I tried my hardest, I just couldn't be.

They deserve accolades for this accomplishment, even if it means ignoring that the Burns checklist is utterly bullshit, because that's hard to do with any level of education, and yet they manage to persist, feeding off of insurance money and the sheer ignorance of human consciousness that would have to accompany such complete and tone-deaf understanding in terms of the fact that literally nobody is really able to determine their best possible outcome.

Unless this is some sort of really long-term game of I-told-you-so, which I'd only accept as a form of retrospective glad-handedness (I'm not saying I've seen them take credit for things they had no control over, but I also totally am, because their belief in whatever system they're pushing only has to be slightly as strong as your "crazy ideas" but backed by authoritative insurance monies in order to be considered obviously superior.

Having batshit insane friends is a blessing, and that's not only because they trust you enough that they'd let you know they're batshit insane.

You got me wrong user

you need a passion

something you like to do that also makes money


Forgetting to close a parenthesis is crazy, after all, but how many people are taken to task on that one, lol?

It's all good, though.

I have no grudges nor grievances, and my heart is as light as a feather.

I am actually privileged to be in the situation where I might determine that, and this recognition is one of the things that makes me privileged.

Yes. posting on an anonymous Chinese Cabbage-Farming Forum counts as being privileged... have you been here for very long? A lot of folks don't have it.

No matter; we're all in this together, lol.

>that also makes money


I fucking hate money. I'm done with it. It's literally retarded, because it implies that there's some way to motivate every person equally by dint of there being some currency that everyone might agree on as being fair.

Guess what? Not a thing.

Someone gives you a million bucks to let them fuck you up the ass, you're probably not going to be able to get over their fucking you up the ass for that money, no matter what it buys you, because unless you're as fucked up as they are, you're not gonna be okay with just giving someone a million bucks to fuck them up the ass (presuming you did in the first place), and then you have some actual thinking to do.

Actual thinking is hard. I don't blame people who replace it with money, but I also don't fucking pity them at all when that plan goes to shit, because fuck them for thinking that you can buy everybody like some kind of robot.

It's a little harsh, and it's also a little bit haughty, because If anybody gave me a million bucks, I'd seriously consider letting them fuck me up the ass, because I have student loans - but I'm also in this horrible place where human worth is valued by currency, and I'd be willing to hold out for one in which that wasn't the case until I die, so I probably wouldn't take the dick... but I also might, because capitalism.

Isn't this a great universe, where there's no referee of ethics, and whatever arrangements you can make with whoever you meet are the end-all-be-all?

I'm sorry you are miserable

I hope you find success

whatever that means to you

Bro their are at least 7 billion humans. Were not exactly unique specimens.
Money is just a means to an end. Any culture and society has a means to an ends. This is just how it works.

Oh, I'm not miserable. I'm a privileged fuck as sure as you can imagine. I'm not going without in any sense of the term, because I was lucky enough to be born into a family that has the resources that might provide for my physical well-being for essentially as long as I require, and that is something that I do not overlook as something that far too few people are capable of experiencing.

Sure, in terms of people actually giving a fuck about you outside of those to whom you are blood-born, it's pretty much a crap-shoot, and if you fuck up in that gamble, well, whoops - you should have thought it out better.

But the mere ability to have any sort of safety-net is something that very few people have.

We live in a kind of feral wilderness that requires us to look away as the beast decapitates our friends. That's just contemporary life on this planet.

Someday, humans will get our shit together, and I really hope we do. But until they do, I'm not fucking stupid, and I appreciate what I have, and anyone who doesn't has some serious reasoning to do.

Just because you can't stop the abuse doesn't mean you have to participate in it, after all.

If Jimmy cracks corn... well, yeah; fuck that guy and I don't care either.

>I am a robot who believes that there is some way to determine my value in terms of imaginary currency

>Give into robot life

>That's just how it works because robots are controlled by other robots who control the robots who control the robots that have the money to buy the robots.

>This is just how it works

Do you even understand how fucking angry I am right now, and how completely little it matters?

I don't think you do. It's a lot. All I can really say is that it's a lot.

Regarding your first post. You can actually determine the worth of a human. Factors include: management, dependability, mindset of a person, what they can bring to society as a whole, empathy, emotional stability, stability in general, how they value there living beings and many more.
Like I said, were not completely invaluable. Actually quite the opposite we're quite expendable. How you can be a better person is bettering yourself and willing to improve.

What if everybody just fucking stopped, though?

I mean, all the people who accepted the idea that there was this universal currency by which their time and labor and worth were determined in terms of a time-clock?

It's not impossible, you know. Sure, it's improbable, because of whoever might sell-out for whatever wage was being offered, but eventually even that wouldn't be worth it, would it?

I mean, the idea that someone could slap you across the face with a checkbook and demand that you wake up and do these tasks for them should be as offensive as being dick-slapped, when it comes right down to it, but that's something that so few people are even capable of articulating because of the widespread dick-slapping that's taking place that they might need some help in explaining...

But at some point, we're gonna rip your dicks off, even if we also have dicks, because at least ours were naturally grown.

This is all hyperbole, and should be absolutely ignored.

You think too hard in extremesn in no part in our history do we go to those great lengths because all humans have a basic understanding that time=value.
There will always be something we have to do to survive but that doesn't mean we can't live instead.

You don't have to be alone the rest of your life, find a new woman. Also it will help you get over your ex faster. It's as simple as that my man.

>management, dependability, mindset of a person, what they can bring to society as a whole, empathy, emotional stability, stability in general, how they value there living beings and many more.
>Like I said, were not completely invaluable

Oh, okay, so you want me to be a robot or die. Then FUCKING KILL ME user.

That's what you want, right? A dependable little automaton who does what you ask them? Well, then, face the fact that you have no respect for me outside of the fact that you expect me to behave in the fashion that you are paying me a wage to behave as, and that means that when I determine that the life you are offering is no longer worth it, I am allowed to fucking end it because it's just not worth it anymore.

You'll call this overreacting until you have a whole bunch of fucking suicides on your hands, and then you'll just call it some sort of bird-box kind of virus, and then, eventually, at the very tail-end of your dependence on treating other human beings as equal to yourself, you'l recognize that you have no better claim than them to the right to life.

Unless you fucking pull your head out of your ass, because it could also go a lot more violent in terms of who has the numbers and who has the guns.

This is not a place you should be unfamiliar with.

The heads who have seen themselves guillotined, if that was as impactful as one might hope to imagine it, should remember them as appropriately shocked at their dismemberment.

If you didn't get the message the first time... it's the part where you think that you were born as royalty that makes us want to tear your head off, and I swear if you can logically defend then I'd stand behind you as one whose head is next up in the line of the guillotine...

But you fucking can't, can you?

I am not stupid, either. I can understand a lot of various types of reasoning.

What does a robot mean to you? Cause none of what I said implies any of that. Also learn to not depend on others and you'll be a lot better off. I'm entiriely self Independent and it works wonders. Everything just clicks.

You need some therapy my friend. You clearly have no value in yourself or others.

>You think too hard

This is fucking retarded. You wouldn't tell a bodybuilder that they work out too hard, would you?

It's that simple. I don't fuck with people who have devoted their life to their body, because I recognize that when it comes down to it, I'll probably get my ass kicked - but goddammit, don't tell me I overthink things when the degree to which I think things is like the workouts that you'd gladly celebrate as some kind of triumph if I was lifting weights in a stupid fucking gym that I could probably simulate if I actually took advantage of the kind of opportunities that were afforded me in terms of the number of stairs, steps, and weights that I was offered as a body who actually gave a shit about building muscle or mass or whatever bullshit that that made me feel better about my physical appearance.

It's not a competition, in the end. I defer to anyone who might beat me down.

But at some point, you have to ask yourself... what's the fucking point?

>Didn't read the whole sentence.
I said you think too hard in extremes you dumb fuck.
One can never think too hard but they can regarding specific topics.

The difference between you and a bodybuilder is a bodybuilder has something to show for it.
What do you at out of thinking about things too much? Nothing. Spend that time better and use that thinking for better uses.

A goodass post you fucking mongoloid. Why don’t you go watch rick and morty and shove funko pop dolls up your ass you mary

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So, when that topic is the degree to which you will literally do something for money: how hard do you think?

You can take your time to answer.

Condescension is the fodder of friendly-fire, though.


You're such an aggressively predictive trope, it makes me want to swaddle you in some comforting clothes and just choke you to death, but I also recognize how unethical that would be.

I mean, it would really be so unethical that I could never do it, and that seems like something that needs to be said.

You should pay attention to that line, user.

Not everybody has the same ethics as me.

You sound like a bug. I could be myself all over your face and I wouldn’t bat a lash

Get some real help, you crazy

Whatever topic it is, you think as hard as you need to. Nothing more, nothing less.

yes actually

I probably am. This buig is probably crazy for you, though.

It's clearly nothing more or less.

Well, thanks for participataing.