how can i become a confident and happy girl. My isolation drives me into insanity. I overthink things way too fucking much in a unhealthy, arrogant and delusional way. I cant say what I have to say because of shyness, nervousity and incapability after all. My mind is always so unconcentrated, which leads me to having more safe introverted unspoken thoughts without any reference by the people around me who might proof me wrong before shit goes too far. Nobody can control my mind when I dont speak out what I think, what leads to me having the thoughts which disgust me. Thoughts which are unrealistic, arrogant, narcissistic and bitchy. How can I prevent myself of unconsciously becoming a toxic whore who thinks is better than all the others. I often have the urge of being better than other women. I compare myself to them and tell myself lies which make me think im better and search for reasons why they arent good. Why am I so disgusting? Is it in my female nature? I dont want to believe so. I sometimes see truly happy women who are seriously really good friends together. How can I find a female friend and how can I get this shitty competition mindset out of my head? I just want to be a happy, humorous, friendly and intelligent woman who isnt bitter and bitchy. Im so afraid I will never find a way to get this bullshit out of my brain system.
How can i become a confident and happy girl. My isolation drives me into insanity...
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>no more isolation
>go outside and desensitize yourself that people are usually not out to get you all the time
>like you have to observe the population that is not threatening and rationalize that the threatening stuff is a miniscule minority
Isolation is the problem. Many men and women went insane out of fear and terror which their mind created. Luckly we live in a world where people can revert this. I advise you to work out and meet people even if you are afraid. Dont forget that humans are extremly social beings and without other humans we die. Your mind will literally eat itself if you wont stop your thoughts and start to work. Reality pushes us to continue.
Maybe I just have to become the best version I can be and than I will know that I already achieved my maximum intelligence, humor etc. So than I can accept it when I see other great women, because what actually made me angry was just me knowing that I could be that too but there are just some problems I have to fix which stop me achieving my maximal potential. I just want to find the right path for me which makes me genuinely content and happy in myself, which than allows me to be happy for others happiness as well. Fuck am I just jealous of other peoples happiness? No, I shouldnt. I am happy for them having found their right path. Meanwhile I am happy for them, I know I will be happy one day too and all I have to do is to just keep searching for my right way. Thank you guys for reading, I think the problem got fixed just by writing and sharing
The presence of beauty from other women doesnt imply the absence of yours. Never forget that.
Find a guy who respects you and treats you right. Even if he is not the smartest or the best looking or most social person. Find a guy who loves you and wants a family, not a chad who “you think you deserve.” Find a guy who will be there for you in the long run, and have a child. Your life will be given new meaning. You will find fulfillment
>You will be happy if you settle for a ln incel like me
Terrible advice.
kek you roasted weak cuck like pro.
t. chad
Holy shit are you me? Want to connect? Do you live anywhere near Western Germany or NL?
Shit advice. I am just like OP and "go outside" a lot every day. It means aimlessly roaming around through the day. Sitting in coffeeshops feeling insufferably alone or having lunch there, even going to concerts and clubs by myself getting not approached by anyone except for assholey looking normies who just want their dick wet. And anytime I try to make a convo I end up boring or scaring (?) the other one. Its not like being not at home fixes it either, in fact most if not all my friendships are or came from being online.
Strangely getting a boyfriend seems much easier than just a friend.
The only good thing about being outside happens when you're outside in the woods on a nice spring or summer day
Unless you're uber uggo or uber fat, it's literally impossible to be isolated as a female you roastie piece of shit.
>The only good thing about being outside happens when you're outside in the woods on a nice spring or summer day
I didn't specify. If you want to be alone and not fix your problems by adapting to society, then by all means continue to be alone.
en.wikipedia.org
"Love: intimacy vs. isolation (early adulthood, 20–39 years)
Existential Question: Can I Love?
The Intimacy vs. Isolation conflict is emphasized around the age of 30. At the start of this stage, identity vs. role confusion is coming to an end, though it still lingers at the foundation of the stage (Erikson, 1950). Young adults are still eager to blend their identities with friends. They want to fit in. Erikson believes we are sometimes isolated due to intimacy. We are afraid of rejections such as being turned down or our partners breaking up with us. We are familiar with pain and to some of us rejection is so painful that our egos cannot bear it. Erikson also argues that "Intimacy has a counterpart: Distantiation: the readiness to isolate and if necessary, to destroy those forces and people whose essence seems dangerous to our own, and whose territory seems to encroach on the extent of one's intimate relations" (1950).
Once people have established their identities, they are ready to make long-term commitments to others. They become capable of forming intimate, reciprocal relationships (e.g. through close friendships or marriage) and willingly make the sacrifices and compromises that such relationships require. If people cannot form these intimate relationships—perhaps because of their own needs—a sense of isolation may result; arousing feelings of darkness and angst."
I live indeed in germany, close to Köln. I like you, I share your thoughts
I have the urge to isolate myself no matter who I am around with. I hate myself when Im around others and how I act. I just cant behave normal. Shit happens when Im not alone. I force myself into isolation no matter my oppurtunities.
Wow thank you very much, this is information I needed
You might be my ex.
On a related note, try to figure out why you hate yourself around others. You are explaining highly anxious symptoms and I get that myself. I personally think that this anxiety pops up because it wants you to use the sharp and unforgiving overthinking to find out what is going wrong with you and your life. If you really can't figure anything out then do sports, eat healthy and continue trying to meet people. When you do make a concious effort to concentrate only on the person and whats going on arround you. This will a) supress your anxious thoughts actively and b) makes you more likeable.
I must agree. I’m in the same situation. I fortunately managed to tone down my anxiety/negative thoughts around others but still get them to the extent of having trouble keeping a conversation flowing. Most people I meet are either not at my intelligence level and don’t raise my interest in them or are leading the typical university life where they r either hooked on substances or are easy women or who knows what other degenerate tendencies. I’m only 22 but I feel like compared to others my age I should really be 32.
Isolation doesn’t come out of physical looks. It’s either that the person is not socially acceptable in their immediate surroundings or that the person has high standards. I personally fall into the second category
Wouldn’t you guys want to connect over discord? I don’t speak german, however I live in the UK (am not English by all means) but am learning German by myself.
I’m
>Why am I so disgusting? Is it in my female nature?
I've seen nothing to indicate the first, so the second question shouldn't even be asked. That you see an issue with overanalyzing daily interactions is further evidence that, despite your problems,you're much healthier than you think.
Der Ewige Kraut
(((Kraut)))
How many of you loonies are there?
Omg. Ich komme auch aus NRW.
Discord? lymna#7451
This type of “loonies”only a few.
this goes out to you as well even when the meetup which is something that could actually fix or lessen the problem doesnt seem possible, an exchange could lead to good feelings
>My isolation drives me into insanity. I overthink things way too fucking much in a unhealthy, arrogant and delusional way.
That's what isolation does, were social by nature even if some of us are in less degree than others, take a hobby you may like and that involves a group of people within your age range, this will help you to easily create connections and emphasize with other people who share a similar view of the world. You don't need to have a transcendental talk with them, just small talk will do the job
> I cant say what I have to say because of shyness, nervousity and incapability after all.
Don't keep those thoughts to yourself, try to talk them out even if you're by yourself or write them in a notebook, the merely act of it will help you not only to express them better and understanding why your having them, it will also help you feel better and less stressed about them.
>My mind is always so unconcentrated,
I'm going to sound repetitive but the hobby would help on this case too, one that you can do on your own, this will help you to concentrate on an activity you enjoy, thus avoiding getting overwhelmed by those distracting thoughts that pop-up every now and then.
>How can I prevent myself of unconsciously becoming a toxic whore who thinks is better than all the others.
This is a way of thinking when your suffering form low self-esteem, don't give too much thought on this right now as eventually go away as you enjoy your own company.
> I often have the urge of being better than other women. I compare myself to them and tell myself lies which make me think im better and search for reasons why they arent good.
This is normal among people, women specially are more prone to compare themselves with other women, so it's perfectly normal to feel insecure when we someone we think it's better than us even if that's not true, when you have those thoughts just think about the good qualities you have and not what your lacking off.
Thank you so much. For taking the time giving me such good explanations. I'll have to read what you said a few times till my brain fully understands it
Die Einladung ist abgelaufen :(