Why can’t I bond with men?
Like, I’m not macho at all, I’m not masculine, I always feel like they’re all better than me and if I had a gf she would be attracted to them, and that makes me feel intimidated by men and mentalks. When men talk, I don’t feel the bro-ism or the camaradery.
I also have menbreasts, even though I’m skinnyfat. Could I be gay?
You have low T from a far too sedentary lifestyle.
I boxed one year and didn't the next. The difference was mindboggling.
Get active for activity's sake and you'll see improvements.
I’ve started running recently, is that good? I can’t box, I wear glasses, I’m blind without it.
I'm gay and I feel the same.
You must have a female-ish brain like me.
How do I turn it to male-ish brain?
Bump
Get contact lenses then go boxing
You’re insecure and need confidence, instead of focusing on what other men are like try to be your own man. You’ll do way less damage to yourself in the long run trying to match up to some ideal only you can see. I’d say any woman who would cheat isn’t good enough to date anyway, instead of thinking you’re what’s not good enough.
If you want to feel more like a man then do whatever it is you’re not doing to make that happen, if you’re living with your parents move out. If you don’t have a job then get one to support yourself.
If you have all that and you still feel less than other men, then I’d say get some therapy and figure it out.
you can still pimp it as a feminine man
Sometimes I’m fun and I’ve tried to be fun, but coworkers never invited me to anything, and I never really thought about them on weekends. Why is that?
I'm straight but in the same boat, sort of. I dont like other men most of the time, they're boring and I cant connect with them. They dont intimidate me, I guess I just dont relate with them
Not op, but i am my own man and still get shit from other guys. Everything i'm into is weird or not macho enough. They want me to be into the same shit as them and when i don't cave and stick to my stuff, they always make fun of me. I don't get a long with other guys because i always butt heads with them.
there are people who are into the same shit as you. b yourself and find people that you get along with.
Running is a great start, good cardio is the basis of a lot of other sports and activities and just general wellbeing in life. Add weight-lifting or a calisthenics program. Jow Forums will say you need to lift, and they are right, but cardio for starters is wonderful.
After a while you will see marked physical improvements which will give you confidence on top of the confidence from committing to self-improvement. Other guys will pick up on that. You also have to learn how to banter or talk with guys.
I recommend this to anons e-edu.nbu.bg
It's free and pretty good. The main part I remember and want you to read is mirroring, which happens at a very surprising rate. For example, I saw two coworkers chatting to each other and they both had crossed arms. I came over, started chatting, and I held my hands behind my back. They did the same. Mirror the body language of people you want to hang out with. Don't be absolutely robotically precise in doing it but this is one way to make people more at ease around you.
Also find some topics you can chat to other men about.
But that's after multiple concussions or traumatic brain injuries.
OP, you can avoid this by not doing things like contact or violent sports too seriously. Sports in general helps your brain.
>i boxxed one year
Looks like the damage has already been done user...
I'm not boxing user, sorry..
Bump
Like other anons said, you have low testosterone, you said you've done some running but try to add weight lifting to your training along with increasing your protein intake naturally and eating food rich in zinc. By having good levels of testosterone you will feel better about yourself and you'll look better overall therefore you'll have the confidence to have a girlfriend without having those self-esteem problems.
>When men talk, I don’t feel the bro-ism or the camaradery
This depends on which social circles you're trying to bond with, find people who share the same interests you have like a specific sport or video games, etc.
Does running not increase testosterone? I hate gym, I’ve never been to one and I don’t want to look like one of those first timer nerd. I think I’d pretend to not be a first timer, I’d google how the equipments work first, before going to the gym. I mean, people do judge, and I want to avoid that as much as possible (the exposure to “spotlight”).
Bump
>russell brand
>feminine
He really just looks more like a poor man's Jack Sparrow. Like a really bad costume job guy for Disney World that they hired off the street.
OP here.
Aside from running I’ve also been eating testosteroney food like eggs and meat. I don’t eat veggies, or fruits that much. I’ve also been smoking, and smoking increases testosterone.
Why do you think everyone is 24/7 watching you? You are not important, you are nothing. Most people are to busy with their own lives and don't have enough time for that, let alone wasting time on you.
This is complete pseudoscience.
You don't know anything about brains or neurology. The primary difference between male and female brains is size, owing to the difference in skull size. The rest is neuroplasticity.
A lot of men learn to interact on the basis of continual competition and unending one-ups. Don't waste your time bending down to meet the lowest common denominator.
You sound like a moron too. Testosterone isn't the problem here. You have this idea in your head that other people are experiencing this grand sense of camaraderie based on masculinity and it doesn't exist. You have difficulty forming bonds with other men because you think that you're falling short and it's giving you a fucking inferiority complex. Stop obsessing with the people around you, get a hobby, and connect with people based on shared interests and beliefs instead of this fictional masculinity hivemind. Also, don't try to get a girlfriend for validation of all things. It's a recipe for disaster. I promise that it's not your dumb man titties causing your problems, it's your personality and poorly formed identity. Quit this shit and don't fall for this bizzaro myth that testosterone is some magical elixir that solves your life's problems.
PS eat your fucking veggies dipshit
>PS eat your fucking veggies dipshit
So ycu ck.
real camaradery between men doesnt actually exist. its just some faggy thing inferior men try to make a thing so they can latch onto superior men and climb up. real men have better things to do other than giving a fuck about lesser beings
Nah, I’m alpha and athletic, got my shit together and all. I still connect way better with women, all my friends are female.
Guys tend to want to impress you or talk about really fucking boring shit. Women are not much different, but they are pretty and likes to do things for you.
Gay
I’ve known guys like you, you’re just a bitter nerd who feels the need to argue or feel superior to anybody who doesn’t share your views and interests. Of course people don’t like you. I have lots of obscure interests, but I don’t shove them down other people’s throats and get along great with bros.
Smoking increases testosterone? Since when?
Go to a gym where there are personal trainers who help beginners. Like the Y. Lol
You might actually be gay.
I wish I was a real macho man
I’m the same but gay. It’s silly because I think the gayness is offputting to straight men and you’d expect me to be better at it since I spent most of my time around men. It just seems a lot easier to make friends with women. They seem a lot more social and responsive, whereas straight guys always seem pissed off or neutral and not really open to conversation or anything. So it’s both really hard to start talking to them and really hard to bond with them once you do. On top of that they can get clicky as hell when you have a number of them, and it gets all bro-ish and insulated. It seems almost impossible to get into a guy group once it forms at a workplace.
I feel like this definitely has to do with the whole “women are more social” thing, like women express more socially openness probably than men. For men if you don’t fit a very narrow mold or aren’t already accepted into the group immediately you’re an outsider to it. Maybe this is all bs and I’ve just had bad experiences and you guys can tell me how I’m wrong but this really seems to be the case, from the outsider gay perspective.
I was that guy a few weeks ago, couldn't get a trainer for a few weeks so watched hours of youtube vids. Believe me, anyone who looks at you will know you are a beginner because you can't get perfect form from watching youtube vids. And you know what? literally nobody cares, everyone was that guy at one point. You don't just turn up at a gym for the first time and have perfect form in every exercise. The right thing to do is try it, and either get a personal trainer for the first visit or ask the guy next to you if you are "doing this right"
This. I always feel inferior to hairy handsome men. They prolly have big dicks as well. They’re so much better than me. Any woman is better off with them than me.
I don't look femenine or blobby though
I have a solid taut dorf-like build. I just lack the attitude
I think if you didn't have a proper male role model or didn't really experience bonding with a group of boys growing up, it's not going to click. You can still do it but it won't come naturally.
overthinking will be the death of you faggots
either you talk shit back to the alphas in the group and portray a dominant force as well or you get bitchslapped to the end of the social structure and remain there
leave all your worries for male to female interactions, everything else is making you look gay and weak in the eyes of the pack
don't slouch, look people in the eyes when you're talking to them, get the basic set of muscles and get better at small talk about cars/mma/sports/sex
Bump
So what should I do? Am I just doomed to be this way forever? How will women see me?
You need friends or have serious trust issues
Most men aren't really tough they just act tough but they are all talk.
Probably true. People seem to think I'm confident and have my shit together but it's mostly just a facade I learnt to adopt from years of living among dodgy people.
I mean idk, I don’t hate people and I can even tell my secrets easily to them. Meaning that I can trust them. But there’s just nothing in them that I need, other than something career-related. Emotionally, I can’t get anything from anyone, I don’t need anything from anyone. Or idk, maybe I DO, but if you shove me with a random person I wouldn’t know how to deal with him or see the help in him that I could use for myself, emotionally.
Okay faggot. More like other people try to shove their shit down my throat and act superior to me. I try and get along with everyone.
Bump
>Why can’t I bond with men?
>I'm not masculine and have fucked self esteem, I feel out of place around men
What are you doing about this?
>I'm skinnyfat and have man tits
Sorry mate you're not skinnyfat, you're obese now.
>could I be gay?
seeing as you said you feel out of place around men and didn't spout some sissy trap shit talking about wanting to try sucking dick I'd presume you're straight but very immature.
If you want to be able to bond with men and relate, consider masculine pursuits, join a gym (this should already be on the cards with you being fat), learn (legitimate) self defence, take up a team (contact) sport, leave the house, eat better, learning a skill or even something as simple as going /out/.
Just keep in mind in a year's time that if you do these things that you may already be bonding or relating to men, you just have the wrong idea of how that works or what men you want to relate to.
>Sorry mate you're not skinnyfat, you're obese now.
It could also be a condition like gynecomastia
There's a difference between gyno and man breasts, gyno is fat under the nipples causing them to protrude and sag, OP is concerned he just has tits while thinking is isn't that fat.
But a lot of these bros are also out of shape.
I’m just saying, those guys who are fatter than me, they can’t have more testosterone than me, right? I mean they’re fatter but more charismatic.
You have lot testosterone and a false image of men. There is no Brotherhood of Man. The other men are your potential competitors, which is why we tend to be angry at chads. We are bros with our bros. The guys we've befriended and come to consider comrades instead of competitors.
You're feeling inadiquete and threatened. Good, because this means you understand you need to improve. If nothing else for your physical and mental health.
Fitness is complex so don't try to learn all about it before you apply it. Instead treat it as something you level up in as you progress. Look up calisthenics/bodyweight for beginners on youtube and apply them. There will be days when you'll be sore or your family will try to sabotage you. Don't be discouraged.
low testosterone*
>your family will try to sabotage you
WHat does this mean?
Is running enough?
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Why can't I bond with people?