About a year ago I (27M) moved to another state to live with my aunt (40F). I was never very close to my aunt but she is super big on family so she happily welcomed me into her home. I was grateful because I didn't know anyone else in the state and was unemployed at the time. She is a stay at home mom with a husband and 2 daughters (age 6 and 11). She is extremely overprotective of her family, constantly worries, and always assumes the worst.
Anyway I was recently exposed to genital herpes and, against my better judgement, I told my aunt about it. She freaked out. She said I was dumb, irresponsible, and repeatedly told me how nasty herpes was. I tried to explain that my risk of infection was low and that herpes isn't that big of a deal but she wasn't having it. That conversation was a week ago. Since then she has asked me several times if I had any symptoms (I haven't).
Today she told me that I needed to get a blood test "to know for sure." She recommended several places and pricing options. I told her that my sexual health is none of her business and she said "yes it is, you live in my house." It was heavily implied that if I do not disclose test results to her then I would have to move out.
Does my aunt deserve to know if I have herpes? I don't believe I pose any risk to my family if I have it. This seems so fucked.
A blood test would likely miss such a recent infection but apparently my aunt doesn't know this. I could comply and hope that I already wasn't carrying the virus, but then my result could be misleading. What would you do, and how upset do you think I have a "right" to be? Honestly I'm very offended.
People without herpes almost never say this. You are a guest, you may be family, but the obligation she has to happily house you goes both ways, you are her guest and you are not there to cause undue stress on her. Take the fucking blood test, it's irresponsible of you not to do so even if your aunt didn't ask you to. Fucking jesus the more I read your post the more I hope it was bait. Why would you NOT test for it? At least you'd know the correct course of action to take from there, with meds to manage outbreaks and such.
Lol I love the degree of responses Jow Forums offers, thanks the both of you.
I'm curious how much knows about genital herpes. My aunt is obviously very misinformed, which contributes to her intense reaction.
Daniel Perez
Genital herpes *is* a big deal.
Matthew Evans
How so? To my knowledge it has very little impact on overall health.
Ryan Torres
>Other common symptoms include pain, itching, and burning. Less frequent, yet still common, symptoms include discharge from the penis or vagina, fever, headache, muscle pain (myalgia), swollen and enlarged lymph nodes and malaise.[8] Women often experience additional symptoms that include painful urination (dysuria) and cervicitis.
Why don't you be a good family member by getting a few tests done to find out whether you have herpes or not, and whether you need to get on antivirals to prevent or shorten outbreaks?
How is it that you be such a scummy person to yourself, let alone your family, by not taking reasonable precautions?
It's a chronic illness. You'll spend all your life with it. It can return whenever. It's an STD, and condoms don't even fully protect from it. Most people would never date someone with genital herpes unless they have it themselves, so it limits your dating pool unless you want to put other people in danger by not telling them the truth (which might get you in jail). It increases your risk of catching other STDs, including life threatening ones like AIDS. It can cause urinary tract problems. If it gets to your anus, you can imagine how it is. If you infect your wife, she might infect your newborn.
Easton Hill
Because it's really none of my family's business? Even if I had herpes, so what? It's not like I'm trying to have sex with my aunt or my cousins. Jesus christ.
Alexander Sanchez
Bro. Just look it up on WebMD. It will give you an overview. Your attitude shows that you don't really give a shit about your sexual health and therefore the health of those around you. You should probably talk to a doctor and get tested, if for no other reason than that it may be a condition of your living arrangement.
Josiah Green
>Catching STDs like AIDS Okay bro
Robert Roberts
What if I told you that many people have herpes and don't show any symptoms? I used a condom and the girl was on antivirals, putting the chance of transmission around 1%
I see no reason to get tested, really.
Brandon Diaz
It does. AIDS is transmitted by contact between fluids that contain the virus and blood. Sores are open wounds.
Blake Torres
No it isn't. You're confusing AIDS with HIV, dude.
Lincoln Wood
Then stop living at your aunt's house, faggot
>Even if I had herpes, so what?
Nevermind killing muslims, I'd happily join up with them to kill cunts like you on the day of the rope. It's people like you who don't think they need testing, who don't think they need meds, who help spread disease. The meds are there to drastically stop the risk of outbreaks and infections and here you are with the audacity to be reckless.
These harsh responses to your idiocy stop the moment you do the responsible grown up thing by taking tests and seeing a doctor for meds that really help to manage herpes if you have it. Why the fuck would you not? Do you make sure to never service your car when you drive it? It's the same principle.
Angel Hernandez
How many times have you had sex? If you've had sex at least one time, then you are at risk for herpes.
Why don't you get yourself tested then, faggot? You may very well have it and not know. Better get that blood test. Get the IgG one, and get your index values. Better know how to interpret them, too, cuz the clinic likely won't.
Isaac Rodriguez
No. The sentence was >It increases your risk of catching other STDs, including life threatening ones like AIDS. The D in STDs stands for disease. The disease is AIDS, the virus is HIV.
Ryder Jackson
Pretty fucking defensive post for a guy who definitely knows he got exposed and somehow thinks being told to get tested and take meds to manage a possible infection is somehow insulting to him.
Again, day of the rope.
Or you can just get yourself tested and be normal since we have the meds to help people with herpes now.
Isaac Gomez
Fuck you I'm not getting tested.
Nathan Price
Not that user, but I get tested every now and then (lately I've been doing it once a year) despite being in a committed long term relationship. You were literally exposed to a disease and not even taking the time to get a blood test done.
Nathaniel King
Do you get tested for herpes? It's not a part of standard STD screening for several reasons.
Yes I was exposed (ONCE) but the risk of transmission is VERY LOW. I don't see how that warrants a blood test.
Christian Martin
You are immature. You may be understandably scared and this is your way of cope by saying it's not a big deal and to try and blame your aunt for overreacting. Maybe you think the best way to go about a possible infection is to forget it happened and go about as usual and hope for the best.
What if it was syphilis? Chlamydia? HIV?
Go get tested fucking christ, the meds and treatments are THERE to ensure you definitely have the best life you can have. A blood test means nothing but you being responsible. You don't even have to tell your aunt if you're such a stuck up brat that you took a blood test, just do it for yourself and any future partners.
I get tested for everything, yes. I get a pap test, and a full STD test.
You should get tested because you are putting yourself and your future partners at risk by not doing so. It's just a blood test.
Christian Evans
I would get tested if you were nicer to me. Obviously this is a stressful situation and I am coping to a large degree with damage control. But again, this is just herpes. I have not had any outbreaks. I would only need meds if I had outbreaks.
If you've never had any herpes symptoms then you must get your blood tested. You must specifically request to test for herpes, then. Do you know your index values? Not trying test you I'm just curious.
Aiden Morgan
I do get a pap test and the blood test, that's what I said. I don't know my values, no. I run them through my gynaecologist, he just tells me if I'm negative or positive. I never had to ask for extra stuff, I don't know if it's different where I live as I'm not from the US.
Henry Turner
In the US, herpes is not part of normal testing. You have to specifically request it, otherwise they don't bother. Your gynecologist specifically tells you that you're negative for herpes? That's pretty cool
Jason Moore
lmao get rekt
Bentley Anderson
He tells me I'm clean. I suppose that if there was something wrong, he'd tell me.
David Gray
I wonder if you were really ever tested for herpes, then? Are you sure that it's part of the blood testing?
Nolan Barnes
>I would get tested if you were nicer to me.
You are 27 you are five years older than me, you are supposed to be more worldly and experienced than me. I shouldn't have to be mad at an user who's first thought is to ask Jow Forums if he has a right to be offended instead of how to best manage things. As you said, there is a large degree of cope and damage control.
Forget your aunt, do it for yourself and for any other future partners. When you find someone you love, you will have a lot more certainty when you say whether you have it or not, and if you have it, it will help her a lot more if you say you know what meds you need to take to reduce or eliminate the risk.
Yes, I am. I take medications that increase the likelihood of herpes complications so I get tested for everything.
Angel Sanchez
Have you ever been tested for STDs? As I mentioned before, if you've had sex (or even kissed somebody!) then you are at risk for herpes. I'm not very sexually active, that hookup was the first time I had sex in like a year.
