Why is it considered a bad thing to want a girlfriend?
You see lots of
>bro work on yourself
>someone else can't make you happy
>codependent lol
And while they all have valid parts, it seems silly to me that you're considered 'wrong' for wanting to find love.
It feels that way because it's a bitter truth
How many success stories do you see from people who say they stopped pursuing so hard and ended up with more success than they'd ever had while trying their ass off?
Here's another perspective: what does it tell you about a person if they spend so much of their free time doing nothing but trying to get someone to date them?
And another: is it healthy in any way to need people so badly?
The crime isn't needing love, it's not being able to sustain yourself and effectively searching for someone to do that for you. It's hard to explain without just saying 'being needy and codependent is going to literally kill you and nobody wants that responsibility; nobody wants to be the reason you aren't otherwise giving up or failing.'
You can imagine how good reactions are to that though
>>someone else can't make you happy
That's a big lie. Humans need other humans to be happy. Even your own thoughts the language you speak is created by other humans. Self improvement isn't bad but it is a meme you do need to find people that can understand you and love you and they will help make you happy. But I really don't know how to find them either and I'm lonely as fuck too. And I do think a girl can make you happy if you meet the right one.
Only if you gay.
Replying to myself to add something.
Also consider the people who tell you that girls can't make you happy. All of them had countless failed relationships of course they would feel that way. But if you ask a couple that has been together for over 50 years they will tell you a different story. Always consider where the information is coming from.
It's not that but if you overestimate a girls pussy to a degree where you would die for it it's a problem see pussy as pussy not something too special
wanting a girlfriend is wanting only a concept
you are seeing what others have and wishing to have something like that and in this the motivation not pure
if all you want is a relationship you will never truly have it. what you must first want is the person
>bro work on yourself
Yeah it is silly. "Self Improvement" is a meme. Sure, it's good to lead a happier, more well-balanced life, but it has fuckall to do with getting a gf. Fit and nonfit people alike get gfs. Guys with hobbies and no hobbies get gfs. Well read and unread people get gfs. Those things are of no consequence.
The only "self improvement" almost everyone on Jow Forums asking for gf advice needs is social training, acclimating to being around groups of people, and approaching others first. That's fucking it.
>someone else can't make you happy
Yeah, fucking retarded. Humans have a social instinct, and our brains reward us for feeling like we're a part of and contributing towards (or leading) a group. Without such a social instinct, societies would never have formed. All humans have this except in very rare cases, and almost everyone that claims to be antisocial or asocial on Jow Forums are miserable because of their isolation, thus strongly indicating, if not outright proving, they are in fact social.
It's not that it's bad to want a gf. If people are saying this you may come across as "needing" a girlfriend. There are always exceptions but 9/10 times you can't be a good partner if you aren't good with yourself, and trust me, the beginning stages of the relationship are great n all, but once thats gone all your problems are back. It doesn't fix shit.
Wanting a gf is fine I'd just say 1. Don't cast too much value on it, it's not a better life, just a different one, and 2. Any problems you have now come with you and become hers too.
>what does it tell you about a person if they spend so much of their free time doing nothing but trying to get someone to date them?
That they're lonely?
>is it healthy in any way to need people so badly?
Kind of, yeah. I don't see why having a problem(loneliness) and trying to fix it is suddenly awful.
>it's not being able to sustain yourself and effectively searching for someone to do that for you
No man is an island, user.
>'being needy and codependent is going to literally kill you and nobody wants that responsibility; nobody wants to be the reason you aren't otherwise giving up or failing.'
Sounds like an easy way of just saying 'Not my problem, and boo on you if you don't understand'
>it's not a better life, just a different one
75% of life is locked behind the relationship wall.
That is not true. Not even close. This is a perception.
75% of life is family related shit. Without a relationship you get 0% of it. Ever.
>lol it isn't better having someone to support you
>lol it isn't better having someone that desires you
>lol it isn't better having someone to start a family with
C'mon man.
>all dates
>all forms of romance
>the entire family arc
>seriously thats like two ENTIRE 5-25 arcs of content on its own
>grandkids
And that doesn't even cover the massively increased mental resource droprate, think of all the patience and motivation you're not collecting on.
>fucking DLC pass can be revoked at any point and you still have to pay for every year of content you don't get
The publishers are assholes.
75% of life is family shit if you have a family.. if not it's having money and motorcycles.
You clearly have not been in a relationship. You have way over idealised it. It feels fantastic for about a year. Then it normalises and they feel more like a friend.
I love my wife and my life now is good. I had a much better time single living with my Bros in college. They too were financially supportive, and loved me for who I was and didn't mad when they found out I knew females.
I could even have sex with the females if I wanted!!
>Family and dating
Again if you aren't doing that thing there's a thousand other things you can do. family life is a lifestyle choice. It closes a tonne of doors if you choose it.
I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying the guy I replied to saying "75% of life is dating!!" Is absolutely ridiculous. I've literally had two LTRs in my life end, one because my lifestyle that I wanted had no room for a GF, another later in life because her lifestyle had no room for a boyfriend.
You guys have Disney sparkles in your eyes. It's good, but it's not everything. I'm not even anti relationship, all I even said was "it won't fix your problems" and "it's not a magic fairy tale ride"
Meant also forAlso this. Fucking hate when all the DLC gets yanked. Especially when you think it's all yours forever.
>Wahh it's not fair nobody desires me
Maybe you should become more desirable
People say “work on yourself” because if you’ve eve had a fucking gf you know that it gets boring.
They’re human and they have flaws too. You’re literally asking to eventually disillusion yourself because you can’t be comfortable in your own body. Literally look at the threads asking about how to get a gf. Look at them.
>this girl won’t respond to me after I’ve been texting her for months should I stop?
>this girl said I’m a creep, but I still love her. What do?
Really?
The point is that you shouldn't depend on anyone. If your gf breaks up with you, you should be able to keep going on with your life. Doesn't mean you can't be sad or hurt by it, but getting depressed or killing yourself because of a girl is what you want to avoid.
If you have that maturity and that strenght, then go for it, no one is saying you shouldn't get a gf
fuck riajuus
self improvement can coexist with having a couple
you SHOULD try to be a better version of yourself, independent, capable and adaptable
but everyone wants love and sex. you can't deny those needs
I wouldn't kill myself because of a break up however I would kill myself if I never get a gf at all. Even just having friends and a family would be wonderful.
In order to know if you’d never get a gf at all, you’d have to not kill yourself
Don't worry about never getting a gf. Just make sure that you talk to girls often and it'll click at some point.
However you shouldn't *need* a gf. They can sense when you're needy and they don't like that. You should want a girl, not need her
I came in here to essentially echo this.
There's nothing wrong with wanting a GF. Plenty of people seek - and find - love. That's why dating sites exist. But what isn't healthy, and is going to prevent you from enjoying life, is viewing yourself as worthless, avoiding potentially great things, if you're so sad about being single.
I like to use my old roommate as an example. He always liked to believe that he was unhappy because girls always held him up to "unrealistic standards," and wouldn't "build him up and support him." The truth is, the dude was always sabotaging himself and wanted someone to cuddle him and lie that it wasn't his fault.
He didn't want a girlfriend, he wanted a new mommy, someone who would be responsible for all of his emotional strength.
It’s only wrong to feel entitled to love, wanting love and getting angry that you don’t have it are two different things.
Wanting a girlfriend isn't wrong. You see that kind of advice often because a lot of guys here have their priorities completely out of order and/or have unrealistic expectations about relationships.
>I have untreated and serious self esteem issues because my parents dropped the ball and I have no real world experience as a result, please walk me through acquiring a band aid girlfriend who will fix my problems for me
Why wouldn't you get angry after looking? Look at me, I've been looking for a girl for years, doing every dating site, social event and shit that I can think of.
Eventually you get bitter.
>You guys have Disney sparkles in your eyes. It's good, but it's not everything. I'm not even anti relationship, all I even said was "it won't fix your problems" and "it's not a magic fairy tale ride"
I literally just got back from hanging out with my roommate and his nephew. If I never have that in my life I'm going to kill myself.
Don't try to take internet trolls seriously, they will only say things like this to put you down cause they can't succeed themselves.