My ex was a solid 8 and bumped her stats way way up by being a total freak in bed, completely insatiable, having a great career, and generally being a great waifu.
I'm a 5, 6 on a good day. Photograph terribly though I come across more attractive in person. I'm almost 30, I wear glasses 24/7, my hairline is receding, and after being depressed for 2 years I'm not in good shape and hit 200lbs a few months ago. I'm good in bed and have money, dress decently, and the women I go out with tend to find me charming and funny enough to sleep with.
Basically I was punching far above my weight to get with her. We've been apart for over two years, and I've been with about 15 girls since, either hookups or short casual dating - although this has dried up hard and I haven't been out with a girl in 6 months, I guess it's all catching up to me.
The problem is even when I was getting dates, I'm not doing any better than 6's, and that combined with the dry spell is really starting to depress me - I'm starting to worry I'm gonna be stuck for the rest of my life in a dating pool of nothing but 6's, depressed and unable to form a meaningful relationship because I resent that I can't get back to what I had before. To the point where I'd rather be single and miserable than settle for a woman I don't think is a catch.
The chart is irrelevant to the post; I'm not basing my standards off some meme posted on Jow Forums a decade ago.
Eli Baker
Understand that a meaningful relationship and love isn't about autistically reducing people to numbers. Your 8 may not have been my 8. I know this might seem obvious but it's true; you're just not over her and need to stop comparing other girls to her and putting her on a pedestal. She's not as good as you think she was. Move on. What you're really chasing is someone you have a proper physical and emotional connection with. Stop settling for people that you don't have either of these things with. Accept that if you can get hard for someone then that's that hurdle conquered and the rest is you being beta and putting mental blocks stopping you from getting to know someone emotionally and getting a deeper connection with her.
Josiah Barnes
My ex was objectively a very attractive woman. One of my favorite things about dating her was walking into a room with her on my arm and watching all the guys eye-fuck her. She was a freak in bed that loved to have threesomes with other women, called me daddy 24/7, and had the body of a pornstar. She had a socially desirable, successful career as an actress that carried a lot of social status. She was a kind, generous, and supportive partner.
She was what I would think to the majority of men would consider as a really great catch.
I'm not over her, but I don't feel like I can be over her without dating someone I feel at least as animally attracted to as her, otherwise I feel like I'm losing. And it's hard to do that because even when I try to be open I'm not meeting anyone even close to the same league as my ex. I jump on tinder/hinge/bumble and just feel depressed swiping on all these girls like my ex that never swipe on me. It's completely destroying my self esteem. It's hard not to feel like your life is going downhill and you're not worth what you think you are when you've got objective proof of it.
And it's hard to form an emotional connection with someone when all you can think is 'wow, you're really settling with this girl'. And the women that do want to talk to me just really aren't offering anything above and beyond being a 6 with an inoffensive personality to make me feel like I'm not settling. I had a woman that literally treated me like a prince, gave me a harem, and gave me whatever I wanted. How am I supposed to want to settle for a 6 who won't suck my dick if I don't pay for dinner?
Andrew Baker
You haven't learned from experience. What your time with your ex should have taught you is that appearance means a lot less than other things, be they freakiness in bed, personality, shared values, or whatever
Angel Mitchell
But it does mean something, I can't help but feel as if even if I'm settling for a less attractive woman that's just as great in all those other areas... I'm still settling for a less attractive woman. I don't want to date someone I feel like I'm dissatisfied with from the start, nor do I want to date someone my ex will look at and go 'oh, I'm better than her'.
Xavier Butler
Your ex girlfriend is not a god. She is not a number based on how attractive she is. She is a human being. Your toxic mindset of wanting to date girls who are up to your ex's "standard" is continually ruining your chances of ever finding a meaningful relationship. If these women have great personality traits and other qualities that you appreciated in your ex girlfriend, but the only thing that's putting you off them is whether they're a 6 or not, that's the result of your warped world view and not anyone else having high standards. Maybe you should look on fixing your own self-esteem first.
Nathaniel Morris
It's not like I'm rejecting interesting women with great personalities just because they're 6's. I'm not getting dates at all right now. Either way if I've learned anything from what happened with my ex, it's don't get into a relationship where you feel like you're settling on anything. Either be in it 100% from the outset or don't at all.
The point is that it's entirely discouraging to not get any attention at all from women that are in the same league as my ex was, and it's fucking with my self esteem. I feel like shit, because I'm not attracting women of the same league - because it means either I lost something truly irreplaceable with my ex, or I've significantly decreased in value in the dating pool in the last 5 years. Both of which are pretty depressing notions.
I don't think it's wrong to say being with an attractive woman like my ex made me feel good about myself, and that's something I want in a potential partner. Settling for someone you're less than physically thrilled with seems like a great recipe for an affair.
Noah Ramirez
Ignore that guy, he is a retarded namefag who likes to troll people on an advice board, what a moron.
Parker Miller
Dating up in ranking is only a fluke. You're getting the 6's you deserve and you are complaining about it because you think 8 is reachable because you did it once. Settle for your level or you'll remain alone.
Gabriel Ramirez
I'm in a similar boat user.
I felt significantly better when ex told me to fuck off. With cut communication and knowing things will forever be over I was able to get over my slump and be happy.
-insert generic Jow Forums dating advice (be /fit, happy, have hobbies, get yourself another 8)
Don't glorify your ex, maybe demonize her (slightly) and go after girls irl, seams to be easier that way.
I can't be the only femanon who scanned the faces to look for similar facial features.
Also... Kinda annoyed they slap hygiene and fitness in there. I keep decent watch and maintenance of both, but my face just isn't very pretty. Hell you can see the distinct structural differences in the ratings. That's a matter of genetics not practice.
Austin Lee
Start seeing prostitutes who are a solid 8 at least. It will make you feel entitled to more attractive women. Also stop trying to meet girls on the internet.
Leo Nguyen
I can't be arsed to read the thread, but let me greentext my situation.
>be 35 >been with 5 women when I was 18-30yo >been with 13 women since turning 30 >been with four women between 21-24yo since turning 33 >admittedly, 21yo rated 4,5 and 22yo rated 5,5. Both ONSs >dated 7/10 24yo (now 26yo) for 10 months >met 7/10 23yo (now 24) 18 months ago, still dating
About to turn 30 is a critical point in a man's life, but certainly not in the way you'd think. For some reason a lot of guys at this age have yet to realise that your dating pool isn't leaving their twenties. By all means date women your own age, but the (age/2+7) rule stops being applicable at 30. You can date 22 and older all through your 30s and into your 40s no problem. The pool grows as you get older.
Isaac Cox
Spoken like a true fucking retard that does not understand how male attraction works
Hunter Reed
>Either way if I've learned anything from what happened with my ex, it's don't get into a relationship where you feel like you're settling on anything. >Either be in it 100% from the outset or don't at all. I don't get it OP. Isn't going 100% the same as settling for yourself and for the other person? But I'm in the same boat but I lack relationship experience. >start chatting with what looks like a 6-7 on a dating app, so no expectations >me bored on vacations >we talk a lot for a few days then we meet >turns out she's an 7 >she talks a lot >turns out she's an 8 >we end up in her house >have amazing sex >turns out she's a 9 >goes on for months >we both went 100% into the relationship After this relationship I get no nice conversations, not even with 6's. The ones I get a date, don't fuck in the first date. And also my mentality is completely different about first dates since that relationship. Right now, still waiting for another unicorn.
Adam Clark
>her stats way way up by being a total freak in bed, completely insatiable, having a great career You will not convince me to date roasties
Eli Sanchez
Then I believe you are in the market for the 5's, my boy.
Austin Cruz
She wasn't even a roastie. We started dating at 24, she had only lost her virginity the year before and had only been with three other guys before me. We probably had more sex in the first 3 months we dated than she'd had her entire life before that.
I'm ethically opposed to prostitution. Never done it before, never will do it. I believe sex should be about passion, pleasure, or love. Commoditization of sex is unhealthy for everyone. Besides probably my favorite part of sex is the seduction. I find it far less enjoyable when I just get it, than when it takes a little effort.
I mean, you're not wrong in that regard, and my ability to get laid has certainly dramatically increased the older I get, and I'm definitely getting with younger girls more than girls my own age, but the combination of getting out of shape, being a sad cunt, and watching my hairline recede like I'm an uglier Jude Law isn't really helping.
On the other side of the coin, I'm starting to feel like I'd like a relationship with someone my own age, and that's tough because the pool of women looking for a long term relationship at 30 that don't have some awful baggage *is* pretty small.
Based.
Jose Bell
No, it's not the same thing.
What I mean by going 100% is that when you decide to have a relationship with someone, you need to be committed to that relationship 100%; that doesn't mean you should settle to get into that relationship, which I think is the leading cause of why people don't commit.
For reference what caused my ex and I to breakup was fundamentally that for the first few months when we were together we weren't 100%. We were 100% on being attracted to each other, but we were 50% on dating each other. Her, because she expected she was going to move overseas in a few months and so wasn't willing to commit herself to something she thought she was going to have to end; me, because her not committing meant she was self-sabotaging the relationship and flipping between being overly clingy and being a total bitch.
So I made plans to leave her for another girl I knew because I couldn't tolerate her shit; she found out, we argued through it, and decided that we wanted to be together and that we'd work on being better - and so once we started being 100% on dating each other, things were fantastic. We had an amazing relationship - easily the best I've had. That 'leaving her for another woman' thing would come back and bite me in the ass several years later though, which ultimately caused us to break up.
The problem is, I'm not meeting anyone I'd be willing to take the chance on going 100% with, either because of their baggage, or because I know deep down I'm comparing them to my ex and they aren't meeting the standard I want for myself. Which is the problem. Dating an objectively attractive, desirable woman, has moved my own standards out of the range of what it seems I can practically attain. I can't get myself to 50%, let alone 100%, because there's that nagging voice telling me 'yeah, but you're trading down bro, she's not as good as the ex was, why are you selling yourself short?'
Colton Edwards
I don’t really care, but that chart made me laugh. The 9 & 10s are more like 5 & 6. But it made me feel really good so that’s neat.
Nicholas Brooks
>I'm almost 30 Not a big deal to women 25+.
>I wear glasses 24/7 Not a negative if they're fashionable.
>my hairline is receding Unfortunately this one does matter. I'm not a guy so I don't really know what can be done about this. Biotin?
>and after being depressed for 2 years I'm not in good shape and hit 200lbs a few months ago.
Unless you're like, 6'3"+ .. yeah, get that in check. This is a big deal. For some reason guys tend to underestimate how overweight they are. If you're an average 5'10" with average muscle mass, you should be around 165 lbs max.
Luke Collins
>Unfortunately this one does matter. I'm not a guy so I don't really know what can be done about this. Biotin?
It's not receding that badly, but its enough to make me feel insecure about it. I'm about this stage of Jude Law baldness.
>Unless you're like, 6'3"+ .. yeah, get that in check. This is a big deal.
I'm 6' even and carry the weight half decently, but yeah, I was down at 165lbs and I want to get back there, which is why I'm hitting the gym.
