Women in relationships...

What do you mean? Like if I met them and didn't know them, would I be sexually attracted to them physically and want to have sex with them without a serious long term relationship?
No, but I'm a demisexual. I need an emotional connection in order to find someone attractive and all of my relationships have been serious, at least on my end.

He was fucking hot.
My boyfriend is very cute and makes me laugh and is someone i'd happily spend all my time with as well as happily have sex with but just looking at my ex makes me wanna fuck.
...Actually the last time I saw him he looked more like a hobo, so probably wouldn't bang my ex currently.

Your bf doesn't deserve a whore as a partner

>demisexual
lol
troll

>troll
Sweet summer child

Based and baitpilled

it's fucking march

I feel so bad for your bf. Poor bastard as no idea what's coming. You're going to destroy him

>I feel so bad for your bf
Why?
His friends probably warned him.
He'll have to learn like all of us

Oh god no, I had casual sex one time and I regretted it almost immediately. It's disgusting. Especially not with husband. He's not that great in bed. But I love him for other reasons.

I'm a guy and I regret doing this on the first day I met my ex. To date, it's the worst thing I've ever done and I'd give anything to erase that day from memory.

I've never had casual sex. It's not that I have anything against it, I'm just incredibly socially awkward and don't trust easily, making that kind of fluidity extremely difficult. So, probably not, but it's just not in my nature, nothing to do with him.

Nah. Similar to , he was the most gorgeous guy in my town but we still waited over a month because we both agreed it is best to get to really know each other first

What makes your husband not great in bed?

Is it still casual sex if you immediately want to get married and have babies?

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That’s precisely how I met my significant other
>Tinder
>Casual hookups
>Friends (no sex period)
>Friends with benefits (we couldn’t resist)
>Relationship
2.4 years of relationship, I also meet other couples who got together by the app, cliche yes, am I happy? abso-fucking-lutely

What was so bad about it? I mean you dated afterwards it sounds like, if she (or he?) is an ex.
Why do you feel responsible for it?

He's not in great shape, abs hurt quickly
He's also submissive, not really my jam

>his friends probably warned him
Doubt it, most guys are "bluepill" as fuck as well as super scummy and would probably fuck his gf out of scarcity if she pushed for it.

>people: Tinder sucks meet partners IRL
>people also: I get tons of sex on Tinder and met my current SO there

It's almost like different people have different experiences with things. Mindblowing, I know.

Ooo good question fucking bump.
I'm not a woman but my wife would most certainly not have sex with me if she casually met me today. Every quality I had then that shes into is long gone.

This
In fairness I really only see this on Jow Forums, but I have no idea why people struggle so hard with this concept....

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Funny because when you ask for advice on this or anywhere everyone seems to think they are 100% correct and if you so much as dissent, they get pissy with you.

I kinda know it's different for everyone, in some cases people simply aren't attractive enough to get laid off Tinder so it's nicer to think that Tinder sucks anyways and it's better to meet irl. In reality people who you meet IRL are judging you off the same things (physical attractiveness and social status), Tinder only exists and thrives because it fits perfectly with how inherently shallow dating is.

based

This is called paradigms. Everyone experiences reality totally differently. Their reality is as real to them at the keyboard in front of their finger tips.
This is why we have polarization. See: any political thread on /b/. Just look how fucking sure everyone is lol.

At any rate

>Dating is inherently shallow.

Agree and disagree. I think initial attraction is very, very shallow, and tinder plays on this. But irl, you have more than initial attraction to go on.
Not many people are not going to not be your friend if you're ugly, and there are other attractive qualities that you can build off of in real social situations.

Yes and no. If I had met him today, I would definitely have considered sex with him pretty soon, but it probably wouldn't have been causal. He's too much my type overall not to snag up, whether today or five years ago. But maybe I'm biased, I haven't found anyone else attractive since I met him. The bar is too high.

I don’t get this question ...
I DID have casual sex with my current husband after the first date. That’s how we get here.

Are you asking if he’s gotten so ugly since we married that he is now unfuckable??

I'm reading this in my GFS voice lol.

The day I met her I had medium long scholarly tended to hair, a well kept beard, trendy ass glasses, I was dressed to the 9s, and I was really slim.

5 years later at this very moment.. unibrow, sweat pants, dirty sweater, hobo beard. I did that trendy new hair cut with the buzz cut back and sides, but I don't tend to it so it looks like short bus, and I'm fat and drunk. Gimme a kiss baby.

Man I apologize on behalf of your bf.

>Likes dominant males
How dominant is too dominant?
Also where is the line between copacetic and submissive?

>you have to have more to go on
I'd still argue it's inherently shallow. That you need to check off all the superficial boxes to get your foot in the door at all is what makes it shallow. So if I need to be tall and white, or black, or muscular, or fat, or skinny or whatever for you to even look at me, that's what makes it shallow. And even values like "sense of humor" are kind of shallow, as I don't see how being funny or making others laugh at all contributes to comparability or makes a relationship sustainable. Sure if you get really lucky you end up basically marrying somebody who was essentially a fuckbudy prospect or a friend with strong sexual tension from the outset, and you guys get along for a very long time or until the very end. But that animal instinct to procreat with someone who is genetically fit and appeals to our personal tastes and desires is what fuels any relationship. Much like a typical car is more than it's tank, but it cannot run without gas. We are animals after all.

Still disagree dude. You don't have to check off the boxes to get in as a friend and then your other qualities can shine.
Look I'm a tall fit attractive dude and in highschool I was short (growth spurt), fat AF, pizza faced, and I always looked like I was on drugs, was called ugly a lot, but I was social and outgoing.

I know what both sides of the attractive fence is like. And it's much easier where I am now, for sure... But in highschool I still got like 3 GFS, one turned long term and I was with her until I was in my early 20s.

Personality, we got along extremely well, and i was good at music. That was her thing.

Being physically attracted to a person you'll most likely have sex with is necessary. You can't fuck a personality. But it's not the core of a relationship, or the most important thing.
Having a partner you can be friends with and have fun with obviously matters and makes the relationship more sustainable. If you don't enjoy chatting and hanging out with your SO, it's not going to be a relationship that is easy to maintain in time.

But there's a lot more to that. Romantic love is not friendship + sex.

>to get in as a friend
I'm not talking about friendships, I'm talking about relationships. Very different from friendships and from what I have observed anyways, what people prioritize in friendships (trust, companionship, common values and like mindedness) are not always what people value in a relationship (feelings of sexual attraction and desire, and an attachment style for intimacy that pairs well with their own). Hell even some people only want to be your friend for superficial reasons, i.e. they feel like they know somebody cool and have raised value for it.

I'm not even saying you HAVE to be tall, but either a woman is into you or she's not, for looks or otherwise. That it's so based heavily on looks/other appearance related shit is what makes it shallow, as shallow=lacking depth.

I don't see how you're disagreeing with me, although maybe you didn't mean to.

>being physically attracted to someone you'll have sex with is necessary
Which is exactly why I say that 1.) dating is shallow and 2.) looks matter a lot, because they matter enough to be a dealbreaker

This is fucking real, have real encounter with someone like this.
Makes me really think, does a girl only get attached to the first guy she ever has sex with or does that first guy holds a really important place?
I don’t have any scientifc method or empirical evidence to back this up, just my personally feeling.

Dating isn't shallow just because "being attracted to your SO" is a requirement for most people, user.
I could meet the hottest guy in the world and not date him because he's not a suitable partner or someone I enjoy being around.
I obviously wouldn't date a person I am not physically attracted at all, either, because I'd miss the sexual part of the relationship.

Dating is more complicated than what you pretend it is. Normally when people seek a partner they have physical, emotional, moral, intellectual standards.

You aren't understanding.. you get in as a friend then build attraction other ways.. they can still find you attractive and want to date/fuck you if you're ugly...
You kind of have to have the qualities the individual girl wants but you still can.

I never understood this logic much.. attractive people are very common, we just see them more on TV, plus this shit is genetic. Most people are ugly and likely were birthed by ugly people yet you people totally convince yourselves being ugly disqualifies you immediately from anything at all.

It doesn't even make any sense. Ugly exists in such abundance solely because of how much evolution can favour other qualities..

>does a girl only get attached to the first guy she ever has sex with or does that first guy holds a really important place?
I'm much more attached to my current boyfriend than I ever was to the guy I lost my virginity to. I literally never think of my ex unless someone brings him up.

>Attractive people are very common

ARENT* super important typo fix.

No it isn't, you degenerates. She barely waited at all and acts like it's some sort of accomplishment, when statistically the relationship in itself is unlikely to last, and even if it did it be despite her impulsive actions, not because of them.

Strictly speaking, no, but it's still just as disgusting and it can easily be argued that you treat sex in the same cavalier manner.

>I could meet the hottest guy in the world and not date him because he's not a suitable partner or someone I enjoy being around.
>I obviously wouldn't date a person I am not physically attracted at all, either, because I'd miss the sexual part of the relationship.
Yeah. That's why it's shallow. You're letting looks rule the game here.

I think you think I'm saying shallow=bad. I'm not. That people will not date someone who they have immense emotional compatibility with, simply because they don't like their looks, IS shallow. Because the opposite of that would be "deep", but there's nothing deep about your desire to fuck some guy you're physically attracted to. That's just your lizard brain. Similarly, you're not getting a job at a modeling agency if your physical appearance is not up to par. All of this though, is not "bad". It's shallow, but it's not bad, it just kind of...is.

>You aren't understanding.. you get in as a friend then build attraction other ways.. they can still find you attractive and want to date/fuck you if you're ugly...
Are you not reading the poster above me who's saying she's not dating a guy she's not into physically? This is the essence of the "friendzone" btw, them not wanting to date you is often just you not being good looking in their eyes. Harsh? Yes but also true. Doesn't even mean you're ugly but she likes guys who look like A and you look like B. Nothing to do except give up and move on, or date someone who thinks you're ugly until you get cheated on, but I don't recommend the latter.

>I never understood this logic much.. attractive people aren'tvery common, we just see them more on TV, plus this shit is genetic. Most people are ugly and likely were birthed by ugly people yet you people totally convince yourselves being ugly disqualifies you immediately from anything at all.

I think there's an abundance of people who are average in attractiveness, which statistically makes sense. I've looked at people who are attractive and physically it's nothing much. Be in decent shape, have symmetrical features, practice basic hygiene. Unless you mean the types of people with flawless skin and hairlines and perfect heights and body weights, but age is not kind to most people in this regard.

Personally speaking, I don't find many women I'm truly "attracted" to in more than just a physical sense. Like if we barely have shit to talk about or you get on my nerves, we're not making a good couple. And with looks, I don't have a type, or a preference, outside that I find her attractive. Meaning she doesn't have to be x height and x bra size and x hair and skin color etc. But most of these women are picky as hell, because they can be, so lately I just ignore them and act high key uninterested as a defense mechanism. In reality I'm a lonely fuck who thinks he's gonna die alone, in large part because I'm not good looking enough.

I think this is a pointless question to ask OP. You're asking women to think rationally about whether they would have had a SNL with their boyfriend/husband if they met him today.

You don't realize these things rarely come down to rationality and conscious decision. One night stands and casual encounters are usually the result of certain circumstances which caused one thing to lead to another. I've never in my entire life heard a woman say she went out to a bar with her friends to look for a guy to hookup with. Yet most of them have done it once or multiple times in their lives.

99% of women will never purposely go out looking for a one night stand or a casual hookup. But with the right amount of drunkness/horniness/desperation/loneliness etc. etc. anything can happen which is usually the reason these things happen.

I'd guess most casual sex happens these days through apps like tinder.

And while they may vaguely put up a pretense of "I'm just going straight round this tinder guys apartment for a drink" they obviously know they're going there to fuck.

>women never purposefully looking for sex
They do look for it, they do want it, they do like it. They like the idea that it's spontaneous fun but in reality they all want some sexy guy to come and fuck them. In the days of birth control, even more so. Lizard brain my friend.

Sure casual sex comes through online dating alot nowadays.

But i'm still quite convinced that with the majority of casual encounters, the woman wasn't actively out looking for it like you would if you arrange a netflix & chill date on tinder. Women love to 'go with the flow' because it feels more exciting and it makes them feel less slutty if they can convince themselves and their friends that it 'just happened.'

Just cause they put on airs about not looking for sex and being passive to it doesn't mean they don't look for it. They have a shit ton of options, which is why they can act so passive and indifferent. They don't really have to try very hard to get laid because they have so many guys after them, so they know it's a matter of time and they act like they don't care. Yet in the context of a date, they are hoping you are really smooth and turn them on so that they really want to fuck you. Most of the time they know what they're going into by so much as agreeing to go back to a guy's apartment after a date, and acting like they don't know or seeming horrified that you pushed for more is their way of saying their mind changed.

Sounds a bit like some PUA cope to me.

I'd say 80% of the girls I hooked up with online were pretty explicit that they're coming round to fuck, and we explicitly described exactly what we were gonna do beforehand.

>You're letting looks rule the game here.
No, I'm not. If I let looks rule the game, I'd date anyone who is attractive.
Looks are one of the things I take in consideration, not the only one or the most important one. I'm not saying that dating isn't shallow at all, I'm saying that for most people looks are not the main thing about their partner that decides whether they're their partner or not.

You're not shallow because you date people who are good looking, you're shallow because you won't date people who aren't good looking.

I really think the only reason you're arguing against it is because you think I'm saying shallow=bad. I'm not. It's a fact of life. Nobody wants to date unattractive folks.

No, I just think it is a silly argument.
Even if one of the requirements is that you're physically attracted to the person you're dating, it doesn't make the *whole* dating process shallow.
You make it sound like the only thing that matters is look, if you say that dating as a whole is shallow. I think that is stupid.
Saying that people pick their partner in part for shallow reasons isn't. Saying that dating as a whole is shallow is.

I think more often than not the answer is no, my gf was super into me as soon as we met and she cums like crazy when we have sex now but I don't think she would have ever been okay with fucking just to fuck, she loves me as a person and that causes the physical attraction.

No I fell in love with someone who’s not the sex I’m generally attracted to in a sexual way.

>doesn't make the whole dating process shallow
Yeah it does, in the same way that if a night club has a list of requirements and one of them is that no blacks are allowed, that night club is racist. It doesn't matter that they also require you to dress well and don't allow tank tops or shorts doesn't negate or dismiss that they are blocking people out for the color of their skin.

Similarly, if your dating requirement list includes "must not be ugly", you're making the dating process shallow. You're allowing the superficiality of one's appearance interfere with how you select partners. You're saying that someone MUST be looking in order for you to want to date them, that you will not be assessing all of their qualities and weighing them out to decide if it's worth being with someone who is not very attractive but has an amazing personality, or just good looking with a "passing" personality.

>the entire dating process is notshallow
If you have a big sign on the door to your heart that says "uggos need not apply", you're shallow. I don't know what's hard about this.

>that exclamation of fear on their faces
>oh no a camera. wtf will we do??

>Women with partners, are you still attracted to said partner?

Why do you word it so fucking weirdly?

None you fucking degenerate.

no, but I'm not into casual sex at all

No and casual sex is for hedonistic people with no standards.

I wanted to do stuff by the third date. He made me wait like 2 months for sex because he was a virgin. If I had my way we would've been banging sooner but I respected his boundaries. I'm not the type to have sex with randoms, we knew each other for 3 months before our first date and I had to wait an additional 2.. I think it wouldn't have been as intimate or loving if we had banged on first meeting. We are the type that take sex seriously and see it as an emotional connection so I'm glad it all worked out how it did.

Nope, I even remember telling him once early on "I hope you're not expecting to get laid, 'cause I'm asexual." he was fine with that

He changed all that though. He's the only person in the world I'm attracted to in such a way, and I can't get enough of him. Sometimes when we're intimate I ask him how he feels about being the only person who makes me feel this way, and he says it's really flattering lol, probably good for his ego

based women do still exist

there's hope