It's been two and a half years and I'm still not over my ex, what the actual fuck is wrong with me?

It's been two and a half years and I'm still not over my ex, what the actual fuck is wrong with me?

>been basically nocontact the whole time
>hit the gym
>fucked heaps of sluts
>casually dated a girl for 6 months
>saw psychologist for a few months, it was fucking useless

>can't get into dating cause everyone seems shit compared to her
>still have intrusive thoughts about her every day
>roleplay talking to her about getting back together in my head
>mind automatically starts thinking that shit whenever I'm not otherwise occupied (i.e. driving, showering, lying in bed)

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Like Jesus it's been more than two years, she's already been through an entire relationship, and all I can do is sit here with my thumb up my ass wishing we were together again.

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Stop obsessing over her.

>oh you've got depression? just stop thinking sad thoughts

jfc the state of namefags in 2015+4

Dont listen to this cunt.

Why was she so amazing compared to the other girl you dated for 6 months? And why did yall break up?

I get it though man. My girl broke up with me because she isnt mentally stable enough. Some days, thoughts of her just wont leave my mind.

I would start by working towards things that aren't about her, i.e start to work towards thinking about her by doing other things and ... not move on but to think about women who aren't her. That last part sounds hard but all it takes is finding and actively trying to love someone else

Welcome to the club. It's been 7 months for me. Been through females and relationships and still can't stop missing her. In fact, I just woke up and now can't sleep cuz I was fucking dreaming about her. I have no answers. It's just something I gotta live with apparently. Push it deep down, drown it in booze, and hope death cures it. Good luck, user.

You sound like my ex.

Why did you break up in the first place? Maybe reflect on that.

>be with a girl
>mostly goodtimes
>doesn't work out
>break it off
>want to be friends still but she wants nothing to do with me
>time passes
>still think about her
>things seem to be going well for both of us
>time passes
>she becomes an hero
>try to talk to people about it
>get weird canned responses
>like well it's the holidays so an hero increase
>just cant understand why she didn't try to talk to me
>10 years pass
>get married and separated
>find new passions in life
>sometimes still think about her

i need a drink

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1. Focus your mental energy on changing the topic whenever you feel yourself comparing to her, or going down memory lane. Do not permit yourself to go there, and interrupt these thoughts as they come up. Within a couple of months it will reduce in intensity. It's very important that you forbid yourself from thinking about it under any circumstances, or justifying why you it's okay for you to do so.

2. Think of activities you used to do together. Start doing them sigh other people or for other reasons in order to dilute their significance. Think of things that you only did with her. If you talked on skype, make an effort of skyping with other people for dumb reasons. If you made pancakes, start making pancakes with other people, or make pancakes every Tuesday while watching an episode of true crime documentary, until you dissociate pancakes with her, and associate them with true crime docs. And so on.

3. Three months. If you can uphold this for three months, it will subside. Do it for six and it should be gone.

dated a girl long distance when i was really young, like 15. she had lots of emotional issues, but i loved her. never got to actually meet her. i got in trouble, got locked up so we went separate ways, but years later, when i was like 18 or 19 she sent me a message, all it said "still waiting for you to come and take me away".

when i was like 26 i had a thought about her and decided to look her up on facebook. found out she an hero'd in the bath tub at her parents like two months prior to that.

> mfw

rip fahren

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>Why was she so amazing compared to the other girl you dated for 6 months?
She followed a risky career path but pulled it off so I admired her ambition and persistence, she's funny, an amazingly caring and generous partner, beautiful, kinky, into sharing me with other girls, supported my career choices, and looked up to me like a father figure.

The other girl I didn't date. She was a student on a 6 month exchange, so there was no future and neither of us pretended there was, so we just went out on casual hang-out dates and fucked a couple of times a week until she had to go back to her home planet.

>And why did yall break up?
It's a long-ass story, but basically things weren't working out when we first got together so about 3 months in we broke up for about a week. I started chatting up a girl I was chatting to on tinder right before I met my ex , and we went on 2 dates during that week which were really more like us drinking and her listening to be bitch about the breakup. Nothing more than a hug happened. My ex found out I was chatting to this other girl, got really jealous, worked out why things weren't working between us (tl;dr her commitment issues) and came to me and we reconciled. I never told her about the dates because I figured nothing happened so it would be easier if she just didn't know, but she asked me directly if I went out with this girl and I lied about it because I'm a moron.

3 years later she found out about the dates, and dumped me, because 'our relationship was rebuilt on a lie, and I can't trust that nothing ever happened between you and her'. This also happened at a very high-stress time in her life (she was going through the application process for her dream school) and so I think she just checked out cause she couldn't handle the stress.

It's super hard, because I'm just not meeting any women that make me feel half the way I felt about her. I genuinely admired the fuck out of her as a person just on top of our relationship, so it's really hard to find a woman that even holds a candle to her. I've tried though. There was about a month where I met a decent girl and was starting things with her, and the ex thoughts largely went away... then the girl got back with her ex so that kinda shat on things. And I just haven't really had any interest beyond that.

I tried drinking my way out of it, and all it did was make me fat. Now I gotta work my ass off through losing 30 pounds so I'm even remotely dateable again, while trying not to make it 'I gotta lose 30 pounds so she'll take me back', which is a total headfuck.

I have more than you can imagine. Our relationship was fantastic. I was about to ask her to move in together. We were at the peak of being in love with one another, then ancient history came up and shat all over everything.

I switched to whiskey on the rocks. Beer makes you fat. If I were you, try your best to move on from it. It will never be the same, and the feelings and scenarios in your head are not going to match with reality. Get back in shape, but find someone else.

Yeah I only drink gin and diet tonic. It's not so much the booze that made me fat, but sitting around playing vidya half pissed every night made me hungry for shitty snacks so I'd end up having another meal at midnight, that would blow what was otherwise a decent diet. That, and no exercise.

Ha. Sounds like me. I'd end up getting so drunk and stuffing myself from drunk hunger there were times i'd puke it all up in the morning.

Good luck user

she has to have some bad points/time try thinking of that, cause when you in love like that in or out of relationship, you tend to only think about the good/happy times. It help me with mine when i got played by a girl once and i got over her in about a month or so time. but it works differently for each person.

It fucking sucks. Even when you have all your shit together and you're happy together it just can't work because she isn't right in the head. And you know you can't wait around either

Her bad points were she was a bit stupid, and got sucked into SJW politics too easily. Both of which I could live with. Apart from that she was genuinely a fantastic partner. We had worked through so many of our problems in the first 18 months of our relationship and had really learned how to communicate, how to disagree, and to understand each other. We didn't argue anymore, we just talked. We were so fucking happy and out of nowhere dumb shit from the past came back and trashed the lot of it overnight.

By the time we broke up I was literally the happiest I'd ever been in my life. I was head over heels in love with her, I was ready to move in with her, I was happy with the thought that our relationship would continue forever. Then it ended without warning in the space of a week. It's been so hard knowing I had that happiness, that kind of effortlessly healthy relationship, and it all just slipped through my fingers. It tears me apart every day. Every day I wish I could reach out to her and just tell her all this. But I can't, so it just wells up inside me.

Holy fucking shit why isn't this retarded "girl" banned yet Jesus christ

I have a girl like that to, I mean I hate her and would never take her back, shes super Narcissistic and inevitably cheats on anyone shes with but I genuinely thought I loved her and she loved me until I realized it was all her manipulation skills. Even though i knew the truth i still missed the fictional version of her she made. Sucks.

Are you OP?
Explain how did she found out those 2 friendly dates from 2.5 years ago.
Maybe you can't get over her cause the way she found out, and that dramatic last week.
I'm getting over an ex, the break up lasted 3 weeks to happen, it's been months I've thinking about it, but I just want to pretend she's dead, would be easier for me :(

She smashed her phone. I loaned her my old phone from 2.5 years earlier. Didn't even bother with a factory reset cause I figured hey, I've got nothing to hide right?

Within an hour of getting the phone she'd found the text convo with the other girl, gone through and read the whole thing. Which was bad because me and this other girl were really hitting it off until I had to break it to her I was getting back with my now ex. The combination of reading us being super into each other, and having found out I had purposely lied about going on dates with this girl when she had asked about it multiple times, basically blew it up.

Yeah, I still have some trauma from the breakup week. She basically lead me on that everything was fine and we were gonna work through it, then ambushed me at a party and dumped me out of the blue. Idk if it was intentional to fuck me up or if she was just really dumb about it, but it really fucked me up, because I thought everything was going to be OK, and I loved her so damn much.

It never goes away, the people who say it does just haven't lost someone who was truly unique. All you do will be useless, because contrary to what people say, guys like us can't live to lick our own assholes and be happy about it, and sure as fuck having casual sex won't fix that desire to build something with someone either.

The only advice I can give you is to get benzos and just get high whenever you feel anxious about it. Get something like Klonopin, which will make you feel more stoic, but also give you the ability to cry. Usually after I have a good day at work or at my sports practice and start thinking about how great it would be to have her here to share all these great vibes, I down like ten drops in one go, wait usually an hour and cry until I fall asleep.

She left me August 2017, after five years together. Life has been a meaningless living hell ever since.

>and we were gonna work through it
At least you both talked. But yeah out of blue stuff really suck.
But let's try imagining another situation:
She first thought everything was ok, a week later decided to break up. Now if she didn't break up and you both continued in the relationship, do you think things would be the same? I also would hope it would be. But in her point of view she couldn't trust you anymore, a week, a month, a year, that break up would probably come. Maybe what you still expect is her forgiving you. But in the end, is it worth it it? You're thinking about the break up for some time, is she worth all the pain you have been suffering?
If another lesson can come from the break up is that you have to tell the other part, of course it would be hard after you just went back to each other. But sometimes we have to put the guilty away and accept the other's judgement. Like telling her a few weeks after she found out , and expecting for the best.
Now OP you have to meet other people, do your own activities, you have another standard and is more experienced, enjoy the lessons you had and apply to a new relationship when you feel ready.

Yeah, I truly think that if we'd worked through the first two weeks, we would have been fine. It all happened at the worst possible time: christmas, right after she had been accepted into a super high-stress school. She was stressed off her nut about school at the time, and I think she just decided it was too hard to think about rebuilding our relationship when she was already overwhelmed. We had got through major issues before by working through it and communicating, that's why our relationship was so strong. But I think she just didn't have the mental space to work through this given the timing.

>You're thinking about the break up for some time, is she worth all the pain you have been suffering?

She was really special. First girl I've properly fallen in love love with. I've had multiple serious relationship before this one, but this was on an entirely different level. It's just so hard to believe that I'll be able to find a woman even 80% of what she was.

Same here OP except its been 5 years and I've not fucked anyone else in that whole time.

>roleplay talking to her about getting back together in my head

Glad I'm not the only one. She's basically become my imaginary girlfriend, I "talk" to her constantly and jerk off thinking about her almost exclusively. My life has been miserable for so long now. Its fucked up.

I hope you get over it eventually

Why did you fuck sluts?

Because I thought fucking sluts would break the spell she had on me and let me feel free enough to go date.

So I fucked like, close to 20 girls in 18 months, and I still want her just as badly.

From Behind?

I am so fucking sorry

Are you me, user? When it happened, I've had to rationalize it that she died and was replaced by somebody else. She even looked uglier in person when I met her, she lost weight but her cheeks got wrinkled in a weird way. Sometimes I've still had dreams that she and I'd forgive everything and we'd get together again, even though she always said never ever. But she even has a kid now, and even the dreams crumbled away...

you wish the idea of her, not the reality of her. this is your mantra. get this into your head and the desire will slowly fade away.

Who the fuck are you to give advice if you failed completely at what OP is trying to do?

>roleplay talking to her about getting back together in my head mind automatically
Well, good to know I'm not alone.
Although I came to the conclusion that it's best to not come back together. Sucks tbqh.