How do i tell a girl I don’t feel the same way for her without breaking her heart?

how do i tell a girl I don’t feel the same way for her without breaking her heart?

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i’ve been talking to a girl for almost a year that has a great personality, holds me down, is cute, but not quite wifey material in terms of physical attractiveness and in terms of being courageous/independent/ambitious. i don’t want to feel like I’m lowering my standards or settling.

I feel strongly for her, but not to the extent of a relationship or something serious. she’s developed many strong feelings for me. i expressed to her the first time before we got physical that i was not looking for anything serious. a couple days ago, about 8 months into us talking, she handed me a journal. it was about 10 pages deep about everything she felt for me. she wrote in the journal that she didn’t have the balls to tell me in person. she says things like she wishes she could tell me she loves me.

it’s superficial to say, but physical attractiveness and some personality traits really matter to me. I’m sure most of you agree that the woman you become serious with should be really sexy to you and should have traits that inspire you to be better. i just don’t feel the attraction towards her at this level.

i’ve never had a serious relationship. im 24, straight outta college, wanna take life in. i love traveling and am quite the loner. i enjoy doing shit by myself, a lone wolf per say. i love women, all different kinds. i love going to different cities and making new friends and getting intimate with women from different backgrounds. i don’t wanna say I’m a womanizer. i just like being able to enjoy the freedoms of life.

Attached: life.jpg (600x300, 21K)

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i’m in love with life itself but I’m just not ready for a serious relationship. in my country, men and women get married and live at home with their parents and work and take care of their families. compared to the west, this is just so depressing to me. to me, marriage is a wonderful thing, but i don’t want to jump into it, because with a serious relationship comes children, and other responsibilities that really drain you, in my experience. having parents that constantly fight and are on the verge of divorce doesn’t help either.

i’ve taken a birds eye view and not let it cloud my judgement of marriage. and I’m grateful for me being able to be able to realize that.

how can i reply to these notes she gave me? how can i tell her that I’m not looking for the same things without breaking her heart? I don’t wanna make her sad or cry. i really like her but i don’t want to ruin what we have going. we have a good thing.

You tell her you don't feel the same way. tf? There is no easy way out.
Also, not reading that long story.

Ghost her or tell her to leave you alone.

but i enjoy spending time with her. i like her, i just dont love her. why ghost her?

post her pic dude

Is she a tranny?

You're going to have to face the music at one point or another, OP. Just be honest with her and tell her you don't think it's going to work, and let that be that.

Alternatively, you could also ask /b/ to help you write a breakup letter at 1 word per reply, as I've actually seen some people do, but I don't entirely recommend that method.

You'll just further hurt her. People are replaceable just move on.

sorry bro thats a lil too selfish for me to follow. ghosting someone is obviously harsh im not doing that lol. im not looking for that sort of advice.

true that. ill tell her

To each their own I suppose.

sorry bro thats a lil too selfish for me to follow. ghosting someone is obviously harsh im not doing that lol. im not looking for that sort of advice.

true that. ill tell her.

>People are replaceable
How can anybody fall so low.
Just ignore him OP, this is a guy that never cared about anyone.

Honestly, it doesn't seen like you aren't interested in her as much as you are afraid of marriage.
You can tell her this, and that's it. Just as a side note, you won't be able to talk to her again.
This is why confessing is hard, if the other person says yes, you get into the relationship, otherwise, it's all over, you guys can't hang out anymore until she finds somebody else.
Don't make this harder for her. If you care about her, tell her you are not interested and move on.

You either replace or get replaced. I chose the former. Nothing lowly about that. Just ahead of the game.

thank you so much. im not trying to get married until my 30s anyway. i wanna make something of myself. im open to having a girlfriend along the way, i just dont want it to be her.

the thing is, ive told her that i wont be able to commit to her before, and she gets sad but she still comes around and wants to be with me. she just pushes for it every couple months. any tips on how exactly i can word this in the best way possible?

Unfortunately, there isn't any easy way. You'll break her heart, and that's it.

"I'm not interested, I'm sorry."

It hurts, but she's a healthy adult, she can take care of herself.
I'm sorry, user, but regardless of whether you are a good person or not, there will be moments in which you are bound to hurt somebody. You aren't doing it willingly, it just so happens that this is how things work.
I wish you are her the best, just don't drag her around.

Go away tripfag

You should be more direct about it. I mean, yes you were since the beginning clear about that you didn't want something serious or formal but you continue with the relationship and now she's getting more attached to you (for obvious reasons). So be more direct about it, yes is gonna be painful for her but is gonna hurt even more if you keep going it (for her and for you). You're worried for her and trying to look for advice just prove that you're not that bad. If you broke up with her she's gonna be sad, sure, but dude what about you? if you are not comfortable anymore then it's not good either and this is stressing you, so not healthy. Think about you first! Just say it, you will feel much better and free.

thank you guys for this. the truth is i really care about her and i know shes gonna be really sad if i drop her out the blue. and desu i dont wanna drop her either, i enjoy her company, id just like to taper off eventually. shes like my best friend in this new city so obviously ill be sad too if it just ends like that. i just wish there was a way to just keep this going and her to feel the same way i did.

Stop being a faggot. You have a few options that don’t make you a complete shithead or spineless virgin
1) Be honest and drop her right now, none of this “tapering off” garbage.

2) Suck it up and stay with her because good luck finding wifey in your 30s or 40s

3) Die

Who you calling fag, fag.

Then you should realize that this friendship should cease to exist unless you don't mind hurting her.
Girls do this all the time but they never realise anything so they get all super surprised when you tell them "fuck your friendship"

You‘re not responsible for others. You can be considerate about their emotions, but never feel responsible for them. Unless they’re your kids obviously.

Have sex with her and then treat her like a princess, she'll leave you soon enough.