i feel like my boyfriend has stopped liking me. we've been dating for 6 months, but recently he's just stopped talking to me as much. and when he does, it's in a way that makes it seem like he doesn't even care. he's diagnosed aspd, so there's a chance he was using me the whole time and now he's just bored, but whatever. i'm always here for him and i do my best to make him feel special. i just feel like all my sacrifices are going without reward, yaknow? he threatens to kill himself or shoot up a school all the time, and i still help him even though i know it's for attention. he's a toxic person, forcing me to cut off a lot of relationships and spent less time doing what i like. plus, he has threatened to kill me before, so that's a red flag. last night, he texted me saying "And honestly, the more time passes, the less I think of you as how I did before. " and followed with "Whatever, i guess. I don't matter to you anyway" which is SUPER attention whorey. i just don't what to do, i need him. it's like when i fell in love with him he fell out of it
I feel like my boyfriend has stopped liking me. we've been dating for 6 months...
Yeah, leave.
that's what you get for posting a Pikachu as adult
i don't know how to
>how do i pack a bag and walk out of the door
use your hands and make sure you can see, also walk with your legs, if you cant walk ask someone to help you out, I am going to assume that you can see because you posted this, that's it, good luck user.
it's not that easy, he's an angry person and i know he'll do something drastic. besides, i love him despite everything. i still want him in my life even though i know that isn't what's best
>aspd
Leave, and try to avoid making strong bonds with people who have similar issues.
OP, if not baiting like 90% of this board's threads, is just going to find another douchebag exactly like him and then cry to betas for support. She chose her situation.
he's not a douchebag. i started dating him because he was exactly the opposite.
he only told me after a couple months into the relationship. maybe if i had known before, i wouldn't be in this situation
You really have two options : 1. Walk out on him. 2. He eventually walks out on you anyway.
There can be no relationship here because he's not interested in having one really. He's not even trying to hide the fact he lacks interest. The sooner you accept this the sooner you can move on.
you're right. i plan on talking with him about this tomorrow. thanks guys
he is going to kill you lol, rip
nah, he'll get over it.
And you stay because of who he is
Fucking run and run far and fast and don't look back if he's thinking these things now and you been trying to help and be there for 6 months and still thinks those thought s then he's a lost cause. Atleast you tried but not everyone bounces back from those things
Isn't there a saying its always someone who you least expect to do something horrible.. Then your mind will eat at you thinking what if this, what if that l,why didn't I leave or he may take you with him. Because he will be dead and you may not know if maybe something you did might put you on his list. You don't know what's going on 24-7 in his mind. You may know like 10% of what he thinks and 90% he will never tell anyone because if he does he would be in a mental institution but then again idk.
Certain personality disorders come with a healthy amount of manipulative behavior, and the appearance can be completely different from what the individual is actually thinking. You already seem to be harboring doubts, though it appears that you still love him. Is he receiving treatment for his mental health issues, either therapy or pharmacological?
One of the secondary issues when dealing with mentally ill patients is that it can take a huge toll on loved ones. How are you coping with the actions that he has been taking? Have you been able to manage your own affairs and day-to-day life effectively? Do you feel that you are naturally co-dependent, which often can make it harder to distance yourself from the actions of people you care about?
I know these are a bit probing, but they are both meant to assess your own thoughts and feelings, and maybe to give you a bit of pause to think.
>i just feel like all my sacrifices are going without reward, yaknow
Stop. You don't do things because you expect reward in return, that will lead to unhappiness.
>he threatens to kill himself or shoot up a school all the time
He is mentally unstable and you need to break up with him. He may be very toxic but as much as he is forcing you to do these things you have to stand up for yourself or people like him are going to take advantage of you. You know this is not good for you OP, please leave him for your own safety and remove all contact with him. When we fall in love with someone we build this image in our head of who we fell in love with, but the reality is he isn't the idea of the man you fell into love with, he is a very abusive toxic person and there is nothing you can do to change that.
Are you ugly and/or fat?
Did you have sex with him? If so it's too late to back out, try to make it work. It might seem like he is distant now, but keep in mind that you are more valuable to him than you will be to any man you leave him for.
he does have a prescription, but used to not take them. i eventually convinced him he needed to follow through on his meds. i've talked to him about therapy before, but he refuses. and yes, i do feel like i need him. a lot of my life has recently been consumed by our relationship, and i understand that's pretty unhealthy. honestly, i know that he doesn't have the guts to ever actually do anything he threatens to do. i'm only concerned about why he says he'll do it.
ugly, very underweight for my age though.
it don't understand how that will affect it. i really think he gave up on me.
He sounds like a fag. Report him to the authorities for threatening to kill you and threatening to shoot up a school, especially if it was over text or some way that you have concrete proof he did it.
This post gives me hope, if a guy treats you like that and you still like him, it motivates me more to get along with women
i can't, he's too important. he texted me just now saying he still loves me and he's sorry.
>i need him
no you don't. dump him.
I hope your conscience feels this clear when he actually harms you or someone else, and you're partly to blame since you did nothing to stop it. That's implying you aren't being an obvious RP'ing faggot though.
he gave my life meaning. i know that sounds stupid and shit but it's true
>he gave my life meaning
it's not true. you're pathetic is all. you were pathetic before him and you're just as, if not moreso, pathetic now.
stand on your own two feet, retard.
You have to be less needy. Also give him more blowjobs and let him bust on your face.
To be frank, he likely needs to be in proper therapy. What it sounds like he is doing is being manipulative and taking advantage of your sense of care for him. He may have you on a mental leash and is using your emotions against you. You very much surmised correctly that this is not remotely healthy.
Now you've come here to ask for advice, what is it that actually want advice on? "I don't know what to do," is what you said. What are your goals for this relationship? Do you think that he is capable of a large scale change? Has he changed since you met, or is it merely viewed differently because you had a different perspective then? I ask this because you fear that you've been led on. Do you see yourself with him long-term? How old are you and how many prior relationships have you had? Do you feel you could easily find someone else? These last questions strike at understanding your own self-esteem because it is important to know if you feel bound partially because you don't know if you could find another.
Why so many questions like before? The point of good advice is not to decide for you. No one here has the benefit of the full context of your situation. We aren't emotionally involved, and we only have a single side of the story no matter how unbiased you claim to be. However, pondering questions from a different perspective can help you understand it in a new way.
Let me know what YOU want out of YOUR life, and feel free to ask any questions of your own or for clarification. I'll get back to you within a few hours as I have a clinical.
i'm not pathetic. i was before, but i'm an improved person. girl power
he is a manipulative person, he has admitted to it in the past. i don't think he has the motivation to change on his own, and i guess i found that it was my responsibility to help him. he tells me he's a different person, but does the same things over and over again. i knew him for a while before we started dating, and i feel like i can confidently say he is a different person now than before. i suppose the ideal relationship with him would be a normal one. i don't have much to compare it to, but i want for the both of us to be happy together and individually. there's not much you fellas can do to help me out, as this is the internet. i understand that, but it's helpful to hear confirmation that this is unhealthy and should be stopped. i don't wish to continue with him unless he has some major improvements soon. i'm willing to give him another chance but i don't think he understands how serious i am about this. if you were in my shoes, what would you do? should i stick around and wait for him to realize he's being problematic? i'm scared nothing will change and i'm going to be stuck with him in an unloving marriage or something.
>ASPD
No no no no you can't be serious how can you be in a relationship for six months with a monster like that and not even do research into what this disorder entails? Did you miss the prison experiment where they put ASPDs in a brain scanner and showed them scenes of death, torture, famine etc. and their brains showed ZERO reaction?
I guarantee that you are fucked up in ways you didn't imagine possible just by being exposed to his sick, pathological influence. Get out of there as soon as possible. I don't care how poor you are you need to get a psychiatrist right away to find out what is wrong with you. You're insane
You aren't a real person
he's not a monster. he takes meds, i'm not too worried about it. i haven't let the bad things he does and says get to me.
what does this mean?
what
>he is a manipulative person, he has admitted to it in the past. i don't think he has the motivation to change on his own, and i guess i found that it was my responsibility to help him
I swear to god you need to be institutionalised. Where are your parents? Did he force you to cut contact with them? Please get help, he isn't going to kill you nor himself, your pathetic supplication is too entertaining. Get help ASAP. Get out of here. Call your parents. This is sick
He has frontal lobe atrophy due to genetic complications, or as a result of oxygen deprivation/malnutrition/trauma. As he gets older his skull will have a different shape to that of normal people, to accommodate the unhealthy brain's unusual shape. You can't fix that. The only thing he'll learn in therapy is how to manipulate people better.
nobody else really knows what's going on with him. i'm going to leave.
Alright, back from clinical. Let's take a look.
>i found that it was my responsibility to help him
Do you have a reason that you feel responsible to help him? I tend to be guilty of similar feelings, as I've historically found and attempted to fix subs who are more akin to birds with broken wings. Some can be helped to be sure. However, the biggest lesson I've learned over time is that you merely can create a nurturing and strong environment for them to succeed. Whether or not they cross that threshold is completely on them, and outside of your own control.
>if you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Part of therapeutic communication is to not tell patients what to do or suggest your own course of action. It is not my place to decide. It might help though if you actually took a sheet of paper, split it in the middle, and wrote out the pros and cons. What do you gain from the relationship right now? I'm not talking about in the past, but how is it benefiting you? You've been pretty expressive on the cons already, but really try to explain them in case things wouldn't work out.
>should i stick around and wait for him to realize he's being problematic?
How long have you waited at this point? Has he made any real changes to improve since your relationship has backslid?
>i'm scared nothing will change and i'm going to be stuck with him in an unloving marriage or something.
This is a little confusing. Do you or did you picture marriage in your future, not just with him? It might be a concern, but it sounds like it could be a long road before marriage would ever be a consideration. Marriage is not something so simple that you'll want to enter it without a true sense of love, trust, and connection.
You have a lot on your plate here, and there is a mix of rationality with lingering love and compassion that makes things complicated. Just remember that you have as much value as he does, as does your own well-being.
Listen bitch
We know that you weren't gonna listen
The question is why the fuck did you even ask if you knew all along you wouldn't listen and not change anything?
Of course we don't fucking knows stupid. We only know what you tell.
And from what you told us, he has problems. And you have too. Perfect for each other. Now fuck yourself, and please, do leave and never come back.
Hope you get fucked and why did this happen