>be me >acquire new friend group in November >be close to everyone >start meeting up with guy called P >fall in love with P >P is a legitimate psychopath >relationship with P is not official to anyone else in the friend group but they know something is going on which is okay >we sleep together multiple times, go for food, etc >I tell P I don't want it to be a thing because he is very off and on with me, distant and not distant, rejects affection a lot, visibly mentally not ok
>get drunk once >P offers to walk me to his house to sleep there >puts a finger up my butt and makes me lick it because I 'deserve it for being drunk' >another time, ties my head up with tape and instead of even doing anything sexual just says he wants me to walk around the house and bump into things >I love him but feelsbadman >try to break things off repeatedly, once again try on Sunday blocked him on everything >Tuesday, A (friend) and I take some acid >A seems fine >Other friends come round >I start feeling sick, be sick, panicky, tell them I want to be alone >they leave and the acid trip gets even worse >I call P because I am struggling to breathe and he lives nearby bad idea >he says of course it's my fault and tells me to go to hell and that I did it to myself and I should rot in my mistakes trip gets worse >so I call another friend, who then asks who I'm close to, to get them to come over with her >I say I am close to H. H is P's best friend >H comes over >the two friends comfort me over my bad trip and I end up feeling better >H lives far so decides to stay the night at my house >I don't want to be alone in a room >tell him to sleep other side of my bed
>middle of night >he pulls me over >hugs me really tight so tight never felt affection like this before >we kiss >we do, stuff >we cuddle all night >now trying to ignore any feelings that might come up simply because of how much affection he showed me, especially compared to P
Aaaand I can't tell anyone because H is P's best friend and I basically slept with both of them and so I am venting here because it's frustrating I can't talk to anyone about this.
Jaxon Ward
Don't get involved with psychopaths
Connor Butler
Try not being gay.
Logan Gonzalez
Guessing you're in highschool. You gotta learn to not care. None of this shit is gonna matter outside high school. Break it off with P. Hell, you could even suck it up and tell your friends you were doing something with him and that you broke up now because of how he is and no one would question it because you're the chick. He sounds like an autistic sperg with a bad upbringing so he acts out. Wait a while to do stuff with H so it doesn't seem like you're leaving P for H and get the shit storm from it. Highschool is ezpz. It's just all the emotions fuck it up. Literally just be honest and open about shit. The most anyone can do is be flabbergasted but who cares about them.
Jeremiah Morgan
I am very straight
Unfortunately I am not in school. I am 21 and have my own apartment hence I can do acid with friends and have guys stay overnight.
Benjamin Sanchez
You fall in love too easily. You probably had some sort of traumatic childhood.
Alexander Moore
Smells like daddy issues.
Matthew Wilson
Elaborate bait! I'm impressed.
Blake Reyes
So... you have any questions? What advice do you want?
Christopher Wilson
Oh yeah that's definitely not a question. I have childhood trauma and I love everyone at first sight, which then goes away if they like me back, most of the time. I try to make things work anyway.
What gave it away?
I don't mind any advice mostly I just posted to vent.
Adam White
>puts a finger up my butt and makes me lick it because I 'deserve it for being drunk'
>puts a finger up my butt and makes me lick it because I 'deserve it for being drunk' >another time, ties my head up with tape and instead of even doing anything sexual just says he wants me to walk around the house and bump into things >I love him but feelsbadman why are women like this. WHY.
Isaac Fisher
Then you probably didn't love them to begin with. Most people, mostly girls, that I know are like this lack the ability to coherently think logically and reasonably. Therapy probably won't help because it is only as effective as you want to be. If you want genuine progress. You need to change the way you take and process information.
Ayden Brown
You don't need our advice. You already know that you need to stop being such a doormat. However, my advice is don't see H because that increases the chances of seeing P, which increases the chances of you crawling back to him.
Good luck user. 21 is a vulnerable age where you're just beginning to develop self respect
Michael Murphy
Yeah, you're right. I went to therapy two years ago and it brought a lot of things up and made things worse for me. The therapist said I was fine and didn't need her and signed me off after a few months. She said I just meet the wrong people.
Asher Young
You act like being able to do acid with friends and have guys stay over mean like you weren't in highschool. Sorry we don't know your life but what you tell us. I'm sure there were dozens of kids whose parents let them stay at their other house they didn't use with their friends or have people stay over. I know my school did. College is just highschool 2.0 do all the same stuff the other poster said. Just tell your friends. Stop getting so emotional over stupid shit.
Levi Price
I'm not emotional it's just frustrating The situation with P makes me sad cause I can't get over him and H and I aren't even interested in each other that way but now I will be interested because he showed me affection arghhh And I can't tell anyone cause H will stop being my friend forever because we agreed to not tell anyone
Brody Parker
The ability to reason and logically evaluate if a person worth spending time with is highly underrated for the emotional impulses that person brings us. So either stick with your shitty mentality or embrace it.
Gavin Adams
>I love him even though he does shit like this Why are women so retarded?
Like, I'm sure men can be just as bad, but since I'm friends with mostly women, I hear about this a lot more. Some of you love to stay with complete assholes, then expect sympathy when assholes act like assholes.
No wonder modern dating is a drag. You're fucked in the head, so you seek out people who compliment you by also being fucked in the head. Unfuck your head, before you date anyone else, or don't, it's not like it matters to me.
Brayden Collins
Based. They do this shit and talk about it as if they're trying to help the situation only to worsen it or do it again. It's as if they do it on purpose only to seek help for further attention. OP if you're trying to actually help everyone and be the one exception, realize that this shitty situation is not the problem. The way you interpret and control the situation is. Fuck both of them regardless of how you feel about them because you already fucked up and start anew.
Chase Long
But I don't want to be with either of them So I wasn't planning for anything there Everyone nowadays is messed up in the head.
Kayden Cruz
I agree everyone is at least somewhat fucked up. The real difference maker is the ability to be self-aware about it. What happens next is up to you. There is no one miracle advice that will save you from your situation because you'll just end up ignoring it or following it blindly until it happens again. Be one step ahead and learn to drive or crash and die.
Christopher Turner
>ties my head up with tape and instead of even doing anything sexual just says he wants me to walk around the house and bump into things
>another time, ties my head up with tape and instead of even doing anything sexual just says he wants me to walk around the house and bump into things Think I found my new fetish Thanks OP!
Benjamin Garcia
P sounds like he has BPD. It's unlikely he will do anything scary violent, but if he ever finds out you slept with H then he could go off the rails. He might take it out on you, he might take it out on himself; guys with far more apparent mental stability than P have done far worse. Take caution.
My advice is to get away from these people and find another friend group, but hear me out - Once you're regular friends with another group (And ONLY once you're regular friends), think back to H (Not P, sorry) and whether or not you're still interested in retrospect. If there is a legitimate click there and not just affection in a time of temporary vulnerability, you will find each other and blossom. If not, accept it for what it was and move on.
I can guarantee you that for all the abusive stuff P has done, he is probably beating himself up over it mentally and possibly physically. That's not my plea for sympathy to him, that's me telling you that the best thing for P is that this passes and he makes a fresh start with someone else. People with BPD or BPD-like symptoms are often running from themselves and they don't want ghosts of the past coming back to haunt them (namely, you).
They try and distance themselves from their behaviour because they are ashamed of it. Any future involvement with you will remind him of what he was. That is not good for him or you.
Luis Carter
I don't think P has BPD. hHe doesn't engage in compulsive behaviour - doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs. He doesn't spend much money and he does all his work on time. Actually a huge nerd. Doesn't self harm either, and I don't think he ever has.
He also has a huge ego but I know that sometimes this part changes and he gets self conscious.
Honestly the closest I got to diagnosing him is jus outright psychopathy. He talks badly about his family and thinks they're stupid and he has a bad relationship with his mum, claiming that her love for him is 'fake'.
That's why I don't think he feels bad for anything he has done to me. I think he just found it fun and he probably thinks anything bad that happened is my fault. I am thinking he should feel bad for not helping me when I was literally dying, but I'm not sure it even crosses his mind. He's probably more interested in whatever he's reading atm.
Adrian Morris
>"Guys, guys! My friends and I do drugs, I entertain a loon's vices and I jump from dick to dick at the snap of a finger. I fucked the loon's friend. What do?"
You have poor judgement and zero self respect. Either you'll change completely or you'll end up in one flavour of living hell or another.
Christian Richardson
. . . approximately how long did you bump into things? With the tape on the head..
Colton Nguyen
You sound incredibly toxic
Brandon Young
Sounds like you've brought these problems on yourself.
