It's the middle of the night, I'm alone, high, and thinking about killing myself. Anyone wana listen to me ramble about my life's mistakes until I pass out?
I'm the femanon from the hidori rose wana be thread.
At this point, come at me unfiltered. I don't care anymore. AMA, worst I'll do is not reply, best is maybe I'll figure something out in my shit head.
Go to sleep, when you wake up you’ll feel better
Don't kys, user. Talk to yout parents or something about your problems, or just dump them here, I'll listen. I've been in that frame of mind, I get it.
No clue about any of that shit but i would love to hear you out before you go. You should get some rest for sure, plan a good breakfast and remember that there's always a tomorrow waiting for you to make things better for yourself.
I don't know what hidori rose is, but I like your part where you choose to pass out instead of harming yourself.
How old are you, anonette?
I gotta go to work soon, but throw it at me homeslice. Whats on your mind?
post tits and ill consider it
Stop giving attention to the whore
Okay how about this. If the reason for suicide is ennui or anxiety, meaninglessness, sorrow, or something like that, then the suicide won’t be a solution. If you don’t buy into an afterlife, if your death is the void, which is to say if death never actually belongs to “you,” because you are not where death is, then the suicide merely lives forever in the life that caused the suicide. The suicide echoes forever against itself as the life, never the ending it seeks to be.
What is true about the suicide as the end? What is true is that it will be the end of you. But in the way your knee doesn’t read this reply as we speak, you will not be dead after the suicide. You won’t know the suicide ended anything, you won’t know your pain has ended, you won’t know life has ended, you won’t know relief, calm, silence, stillness, or anything like it.
The suicide is only itself. You come to the suicide in this case because it seems as though all doors are shut but that one. But that door isn’t even open because the suicide can’t respond to what emerges it in the first place. In this version of the suicide, life is the same as death.
People are saying to sleep and eat, and this is good advice. But I will say not to kill yourself because the suicide here only guarantees your life repeats what caused the suicide. We don’t know what happens at death or in death. None of this applies if you believe in an after life. But at the same time, if the void is what calls to you, then the suicide is a mirage. It’s there, it looks like the oasis, but there is nothing for you to drink.
Does this mean you should continue to suffer? No it doesn’t mean that. And because it doesn’t mean that, the suicide can’t help you. The suicide does not solve the problem of life, it guarantees it for eternity. We are things in time, as are our sorrows and troubles. The suicide is there in life too but seems to promise being outside of it. Don’t believe that it is.
A recap of my life, I guess.
>be me
>mom is cheating slut who is also deaf
>dad is drunk and abusive
>parents split up around grade 5
>bullied because aspie
>get thin/cute in middle school
>best time of life
>depression/abuse/rape in high school
>get to 200lbs, ugly as fuck
>drop out of school
>starve myself to 120
>meet funny guy on tinder
>move in even though I have no education, life skills, therapy, etc
>boyfriend tries his best but he's only 21 too
problem after problem, it just doesn't change. I'm just tired.
you're fine. here have a meme
Sounds like you have it pretty easy compared to others, don't get me wrong life in general is never easy but it could always be worse. In any case the only insight I can offer towards beating depression is that no one else can help you, it's something you have to do yourself. Learn to be strong, ask yourself what will make your life better and work towards it one step at a time.
I smoked more and I'm a little too high so a little recap on my mind right now- This is kind of venting but I'd love advice/comments on anything honestly.
I'm home alone atm because my BF(boyfriend) is at work. Our two friends live in the apartment above us and have a third friend over to drink/have fun/etc. Idc, but XD(codename) has been making me incredibly uncomfortable lately and I feel unsafe knowing he's drunk above me.
XD is basically that sweet homeschool christian kid who finally moved out and wants to do everything bad because he can. As of late he's gotten suddenly super sexual and harsh? Like overtly sexual jokes, hard R's, slamming doors and walls.
>I'd love advice/comments on anything honestly
OK.
>druggie whore
And nothing of value was lost
you should quit the substances. you think they're helping you but they aren't. they are chaining you down. not everyone can handle them user and that is fine. just accept that you aren't in a place where you can handle drugs and if you really want to do them again, get to a place where you can.
just fuck him and break your bfs heart so you learn theres nothing good about being a whire
do what you want we dont care
bad advice
Suicide is something you decide to do in the heat of the moment when you're emotionally supermessed. It only seems like a good idea for a moment.
I'm sorry to hear you have such a troubled past. I can kinda relate to your situation.
There's this kind of people I like to call broken down cars. They need pushing/help to move but they commit no effort on their own and stop moving as soon as you stop pushing them. Don't be such a person. Your bf is helping you, so commit effort too.
>starve myself to 120
And you look very pretty. But more importantly you have the blend of willpower and self-hate that allows you to pursue things no matter how much it hurts. You should put this willpower to good use and pursue your goals. Right now your goal is to escape this living hell. The only way out of Hell is the Purgatory. It hurts like hell but you can take it.
Here are your issues.
1) Escapism. You are caught in a vicious circle. You've been through it food. You eat to feel good, you feel bad for being a pig, and you eat more to feel better. Same with drinking and doing drugs. Just stop.
2) Being a burden. You feel bad for your boyfriend struggling to help you. Help him. Carry your weight and become a person he'll be happy to return to.
3) Uncertainty. You feel bad for your lack of skills and lack of education. Well, pursue education. This way you will get a sense of achievement and will also be able to get a job and carry your weight, bf or no bf.
4) Living in fear. Lock your door, get a pepper spray and learn self defense. Don't just sit there getting stressed and smoking to feel better because you think of yourself as helpless. Also understand that storms pass.
>it just doesn't change
Shit doesn't change on it's own. YOU MUST CHANGE IT.
hey op how are you feeling today
Damn, you have been through it all. I respect that.
>>depression/abuse/rape in high school
How did you managed to get raped, also did you at least report it?
Women don't kill themselves, they seek attention with suicide attempts. YOu don't suddently think about offing yourself. Look at the stats and begone.
This is op. A lot worse.
He was my boyfriend. We hung out at my place after school. Without getting into details he forced me in my room and I couldn't be loud because my father was downstairs and I was ashamed. I regret not screaming now, but.
And no, the teachers at my school talked me out of it. I ended up dropping out. Hi
How old are you?
32 year old user here. Used to cosplay as well...it was pretty nice escape to focus on other things.
I've battled depression since forever.
Just to give a view on how religion factors into views of suicide....I went to private school through elementary and I remember in one depressive episode (as an 8yr old...mind you) I was "sad because I wanted to die and go to heaven". I simply didn't want to live anymore and thought it was unfair that we had to wait to go to heaven. Pretty dark shit for an 8yr old.
Turns out, last year at 31, i had a massive manic episode and was diagnosed as Bipolar Type 1 (prone to cyclic mood swings between depression and mania).
I know someone very close to me who has Boderline personality disorder as well (typically develops in chaotic households and unstable parental relationships).
Depression and thoughts of suicide are old friends of mind.
Read about buddhism. That's the cure to this mental miasma.
>hard r's
based and redpilled
fuck him instead
>based and redpilled
>so do something cringe and bluepilled
unbased and cuckpilled
What's so bad about your current situation? You live with your bf and you're a bit poor?
post moobs, faggot