How do I get over a crippling fear of romantic rejection that has kept me a kissless dateless virgin for 22 years?
How do I get over a crippling fear of romantic rejection that has kept me a kissless dateless virgin for 22 years?
Ego death. Learn to stop caring until you're strong enough to care again.
What if my fear is so strong I can't even bring myself to ask a girl out, even if I accept the reality of rejection?
Same situation only for 17 years, for me i know my problem is not talking to women, hoping they initiate conversation or somehow we get to talking, i know i should just walk up and talk to them and be more confident so idk might help you too
The regret you feel not doing things is much worse in the long run, trust me.
Im in a similar situation to OP, for me i know the regret of inaction is x100 worse than the rejection that may come, even accepting and understanding this i cant get past the fear of talking to a girl i dont know, its like when you try to backflip onto a pool, you know you arent going to get hurt, but you cant get yourself to do it because of irrational fear
OP here. My situation is even worse. In that I got past the fear of talking to girls. I can talk to them, prime them up, flirt a little bit, make them laugh. But then I can't bring myself to go anywhere from there. I can't go in for the kiss, I can't ask them out, I can't do anything. Even when girls start coming on to me in clubs I am just powerless. I've had girls grinding on me before and I just stand there paralyzed with fear like "oh FUCK what am I supposed to do? fuck FUCK FUCK"
I know it is. But that thought doesn't make this any easier
I read an article about a guy who had my problem and is now a dateless virgin in his 50s. I'm terrified that that is going to be my future
How did you get past the fear of talking to women?
I think if i got past that asking them out wouldnt be a problem as they usually make it pretty clear if they are interested or not
user i'm "you" in the future of 4 years, so trust me you mustn't fear nothing, life is something really beautiful with infinite posibilities at your age, so don't give up to any fear, it's not too late for you..
The only way is to face it. You can start small just by smiling at a woman but eventually you’ll have to approach some and talk to them. The outcome doesn’t matter as long as you don’t dwell on it and by the 30 or 40th one your mind will learn you’re not gonna die from it
T. Former crippling social anxiety
Just social exposure. Met guy friends. Guy friends introduced me to women. Was awkward for some years but kept being forced to hang out around girls. Eventually, just got used to it. Now I have friends who are girls, it's pretty easy.
Honestly if I'm still a kissless dateless virgin at 26 I will give up on life.
I don't have general social anxiety, just fear of romantic rejection
you don't. You were never meant to have sex. Just become celibate. Stop thinking about the opposite sex, stop desiring girls. eventually the desire will really go away.
8-10 years is probably more accurate. You weren't questing when you were 2, user.
That's true but 10 years sounds less dramatic.
Point is it has fucked up my life. I have success pretty much everywhere else but being a KDV has maybe not ruined my life, but it has fucked it up and robbed me of so much.
cry more. 22 is young. I only had my first GF at 26 and I'm still fairly normal.
Maybe use training wheels before you ride
Make a fake profile with a person somewhat similar to you on an online site, ask out women there. Then when you get comfortable and figure out good responses for some of the ruder feedback, put up your real profile. You're probably scared because you're afraid of being judged as sub-par and having that warp your own perception of yourself. Pretending to be another person could be a good way to deflect that and develop healthier coping mechanisms beyond pure avoidance. Then when you move on to the real thing you know how to deal with the rejection without it changing your self-perception.
But when did you have your first date? First kiss?
Talk to a professional. A chinese knitting forum can't give you the help you need. It's not too late if you get it done now.
i really want give up, trust me...so many wrong choices, because of the fear to be alone. not virgin btw, but kissless.. draw your conclusions
24 i think?
Xanax
Alcohol
Practice gf (pick fatty uggo)
Cognitive behavior theraphy
We've already established that you won't take any advice from people here and you promised not to return until you have gf, yet you are here posting the same thread over and over again.
>inb4 no advice
Gave you advice already and many others did too, yet you never listen.
"Practice gf (pick fat uggo)
Lol is this what men really do is sit around and plan out how 2 get a practice gf.
Fear of rejection only applies to the people you fancy. You wouldnt be afraid that some random 5/10 normie girl would reject you because you don't actually have an interest to begin with.
So my reccomendation is to ask out some girls that you don't really care for and use that as practice.
No I really am just as scared of rejection from any random girl as I am of rejection from girls I like
Start doing some spiritual work like meditating or watch some Alan Watts videos on you tube because it loosens the attachment to the ego self and helps you stop taking yourself and even your life so seriously.
Not him, but there's no planning.
Pretty much any average guy can go for that fat ugly bitch we all know, but we have too much dignity to do that and we'd get laughed at by people we know. This one ugly fat bitch I know, genuinely disgusts me to the point where I'd rather die a virgin than fuck her.
I took the blackpill but now I don't really get why I'm supposed to want to interact with people if there isn't a sexual incentive
>Practice gf
Won't work, I'm scared of making a move on any girl even girls I'm not attracted to.
Well I did promise to not return until I had a gf, but it turns out it's really really hard to get a gf when your brain literally will not allow you to ask a girl out for fear of rejection.
You are not alone, the fear wont go away but know that it is for sure an irrational fear and nothing will happen if you get rejected, of course it is easier said than done KDV here too but after accepting it is a problem you just gotta take any small step you can , regret is much worse than rejection