Why is it that I lose all interest for a girl the moment she starts to show any interest in me? Sometimes even to the point that thinking about her makes me feel a bit sick?
But then the girls who never show any interest in me, I become obsessed and infatuated with?
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It's the Groucho Syndrome.
Groucho Marx once joked that he'd never join any club that would have someone like him for a member.
You think so little of yourself that you assume any woman who likes you must have something wrong with her.
You need to learn to love yourself first:
youtu.be
God i'd never thought of it that way, i think you're right
Is there any cure?
I watched that and it makes a lot of sense
The horrible thing is it happens every time. I spent a long time trying to win over a girl I was head over heels for and I succeeded, then totally lost interest the moment she reciprocated mine and I started to feel sick every time I thought of her. Then she moved on because I wasn't showing interest in her anymore, and suddenly I was in love with her again, and when she got a boyfriend I became miserable and depressed
You doubt your self-worth. I suffer from something similar, I guess. I just get this feeling like I must've tricked her somehow, she must just be infatuated with some small, insignificant facet of me. I know it's irrational but those thoughts just emerge and can be difficult to quell.
Try giving a girl the courtesy of assuming that she knows what she's doing
The problem is the chances are few and far between. Maybe once every year I meet a girl who has some interest in me, and by the time I change my mind and decide to go after her, she's already moved on
You have no selfesteem and you only go after girls for the ego boost. They don‘t have any value for you as individuals, you just need the security that „they would“. After that you‘ve gotten all from them that you wanted/needed and thus no longer need them.
It's called being a man. Literal filth.
That isn't it at all. I develop crushes on girls naturally and then get to know them. Then they either dont reciprocate and nothing happens, and they do reciprocate but that results in me losing interest due to my retarded brain chemicals
It's not my fault
>my retarded brain chemicals
>It's not my fault
There‘s a very controversial approach to this issue called „taking responsibility“. Have you ever heard of it before?
But I can't control the feelings in my brain? It literally is like a switch is flipped. The moment a girl starts expressing interest in me and flirting with me, suddenly I don't have romantic interest anymore and I become hyper-aware of their flaws, and I start to feel this sickly feeling in my stomach whenever I think of them or are around them
Fucking hell user this hit me hard. Has happened to me multiple times, its so fustrating. Gotta keep optimistic tho cause what else can you do
Maybe you never really liked them, you just liked the feeling of trying to win someone over and prove that you're desirable. Once they agree with you, you've "won the game" and there is no point in continuing to play. Maybe all of your interactions with women are fueled by pure narcissism and nothing else, and once it turns into a situation where you'll actually have some degree of responsibility for someone else's feelings, it just doesn't sound like fun to you anymore.
>You think so little of yourself that you assume any woman who likes you must have something wrong with her.
D-DELET THIS
I dunno... I feel like I like them. I find them physically attractive, interesting people, but its like all that loses intrigue for me once they become attainable
I wonder if maybe being a lonely virgin for so long has made me subconsciously associate unattainability in women with attractiveness
As Motorhead said, "You know the chase is better than the catch,"
Does anyone have the opposite problem? That is, I have no interest in girls until they have interest in me. I'm guessing I view them as unattainable by default.
How do you fix this?
Fuck is that true. I'm all into a girl but once I get them I lose all interest. Then I think about the next one I wanna chase, even when I'm with one.
Woman here. I have the opposite, I feel sick with men who show no interest in me or want a quick fuck.
I'm exclusively attracted to guys who are insanely obsessed about me. If they show any sign of lack of inferest I hit the road.
It kinda sucks because some guys are not the type to make the first move or to show too much interest because playing it cool is one flirting tactic. So I tend to miss out on good opportunities because of that. Shame.
isn't that normal and how it usually happens?
It's good practice to work out for yourself what you like in a person and pursue people you're attracted to regardless of whether or not they give you signs. It's a simple way to work out who will pair with you or not, because you can figure out if somebody is hiding their feelings for fear of rejection or just isn't interested.
If you base how you feel about somebody based on how they feel toward you then you're showing somewhat needy behavior. Don't let how others feel about you or especially not your perception of their feelings affect you that much.
Seems like sound advice. I'll keep it in mind for next time.
I think it depends on whether you will accept what life gives you, which is what I tend to do. It's not reliable, of course.
