ITT: Ask the opposite sex anything

I lost my virginity to my longtime female friend yesterday.
She asked me why im always so angry and then I just broke down and cried.
I told her I was molested as a kid and that
I'd never told anyone that.
I asked her not to tell anyone but she acted weird about it and she hasn't spoken to me since then.
Im worried I freaked her out, I don't know why I told her since Im planning on letting my parent's go to the grave without them ever knowing it happened.
I feel like such a loser.
Did I mess up ?

Reposting bc the other thread has reached bump limit

Bf wants to have communal property in marriage.
I want to keep property separate. What's mine is mine and I want that legally recognized. I don't want him to be able to do anything with my property without my permission.
He's not changing my mind on this matter and I'm not changing mine. Is it time to dump him? I don't see a future with someone who doesn't want what I want on important matters like this.

FYI, I'm not american, couples here choose whether to keep property communal or separate upon marriage. Separate means what's mine is always mine and never his, before, during and after marriage. Likewise what's his stays his and never becomes mine. That's how I want it to be.

A little. My gf dispelled that in me though. She basically said that, she could have gone for other men, but she chose me. I wasn’t someone she settled on and she could’ve easily just whored around if she wanted it. She wanted me specifically. That actually flipped a switch in me. After that I was able to talk about her exes and laugh about them.

You’re retarded and should probably just give up on marriage if you don’t understand that the basic idea behind marriage is pooling resources (including labor). If you continue to view your labor and the products thereof as your exclusive property rather than that of your household, you might as well just get a sperm donor.

You didn't mess up, and you're not a loser. Sometimes we pick weird people to tell real deep shit to. After my dad died, the first person I told was someone I didn't even like--I actually disliked him greatly and only tolerated his presence. And yeah, there are times where I'm like "Why in the ever living fuck did I tell him of all people?" but when we've got something that heavy weighing us down, sometimes something in us just snaps and we gotta tell someone to ease the weight, even if only for a moment. You're not a doofus for telling her, it's not like some deep dark secret you have to hide and be ashamed of and keep from people

Possible to date a control freak as a proud man, who wont just be controlled?

-> also, how much of a turn off would be to meet a guy that is attractive and kinda flirty but:
- very, almost brutally honest
- has odd habits (say, he doesn't like eating or drinking some things for whatever reasons)
- doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone
- very insecure, and/or
- oblivious
?

At first I was going to say wow where can I find a woman who will accept a prenup and won't try to steal half my shit on divorce. Then you went on to paint yourself as a total stuck up cunt. Your bf is a cuck for wanting communal property like some kind of woman and you're a bitch for being incredibly selfish in the most childish way.

Only if you're man enough to put her in her place and remind her that you are in control. If you are weak and give into her then she will eat you alive.

You were both virgins you mean?

>he first girl you fuck isn't going to be your last, user
I don't know man, given my current track record even one would be quite an achievement lol.

I have no experience so I may be wrong, but in this situation I can't see her being able to convince me. I'd still be worried that she settled for me - I mean if I wasn't desirable enough for anyone for the first 28 years of my life what's changed now? Just my wealth and my ability to provide really. It's a hangup I'd need to convince myself to get over, I think it has to come from within. Maybe it would work like it did for you though, that would be ideal.

Yeah see that's too vague for me sorry. What do you consider mushy cheesy romantic stuff?

But my labor and the products thereof are my exclusive property, my bf is not in any way involved in my job. My paycheck is the fruit of my labor, not his. It doesn't sit right with me he should be allowed to take away from me something he has no part in.
I'd rather keep two separate pools each one oversees and the other may have access to in case of need so long as they are granted permission every time, than one pool where I lose what's mine.

Not giving a shit about anyone will make you unattractive to decent women. Insecurity will make you unattractive to any women.

You do have to keep it secret though.
If people see that weakness they take advantage of it.
I feel I've played my cards and exposed something I shouldn't have.
Worst of all is I'm worried she thinks im some freak.
I thought I'd feel better after opening up to someone but now I just feel worse.

It sounds like you wear the pants in this relationship and I can tell you now this leads to divorce.

No like he stopped being kh at 26 with another chick and recently lost his virginity with me.

Not a problem imo. I'd rather be alone than stuck in a bad marriage.

It's sad because you sound like one of those obnoxious feminists who will die alone because you're too masculine to be attractive to any decent guys so you're left with bets orbiters that dry your pussy up.

It's sad because she's already given you evidence that she isn't but you're so desperate to have your world view that you'll make up an entirely false scenario to make yourself feel better.

forgot to mention:
- cheap (even if he gets paid good wages)

well, I'm insecure around women. anything else I usually is either something I like doing/learning/reading about, or I don't care and don't pretend to care

one last q, for everyone...: how quick do you go from meeting someone to fucking her/him?

>I mean if I wasn't desirable enough for anyone for the first 28 years of my life what's changed now?
Well first off, I’d think it’d be pretty fucked up if you were good enough for anybody in the first 13 years of your life. But in the subsequent 15 years, holy fuck man that’s when the bulk of your personality forms. And your skills. So you’ve changed dramatically. Even if you don’t notice it, you absolutely have.

And who’s to say you weren’t good enough before? Just because you held yourself back enough that you never found someone?

But a decent guy to me is a guy who wants what I want. A guy who wants to steal from me is not a decent guy to me.

If she thinks you're a freak, that's very sad for her and I hope she gets to a place where she doesn't punish people for something they had no control over. If she does cut contact with you, idk about you but I'd rather not have someone like that in my life to begin with, giving me the illusion of being close but then running at the first whiff of emotional pain.

I'd say you don't have to keep it secret. Some people are going to try and take advantage of it, but some people will try and use literally anything about you to try and take advantage of it. Something tragic happened to you, but you're not broken or shameful or wrong. Someone was fucked up and that burden's on them to bear, not you. You don't have to keep silent, you didn't do anything wrong, and you're certainly not weak.

Ha. The commingling of marital assets is theft. You must be a blast at parties.

>The commingling of marital assets is theft
That's quite the common opinion, yes. That's why americans use prenups to protect individual assets in marriage and why many other countries let couples to choose to keep property separate in marriage.

>That's quite the common opinion
It's actually an uncommon opinion. That's why it's not the default by law and you need to get a prenup.

It's funny how anti divorce Jow Forums is because "the guy loses everything" but when a woman wants to protect herself from that very issue, you're a disgrace. Really makes you think.

>many other countries let couples to choose to keep property separate in marriage
I know the US is a backwards shithole, but please don't presume the whole world is like that.
Also, if it really were uncommon the law wouldn't let you get a prenup. You can get a prenup precisely because enough people protested.

Thanks for the advice.
Im gonna sit still and see how things play out over the next few days.
Thanks a tonne for replying.

Jow Forums is mostly populated by males that hate women.

ah gotcha. Good on him for turning things around then.

>But in the subsequent 15 years, holy fuck man that’s when the bulk of your personality forms.
Unfortunate, since much of that was spent on this website and playing games.
>Just because you held yourself back enough that you never found someone?
No doubt insecurity is what held me back, but I've failed to develop as a result.

>But a decent guy to me is a guy who wants what I want.
That's what all women say but they hate it when they actually get that.

Dunno about other women dude, I'm dumping mine because he does not want what I want on something that's very important to me and that's that.

No problem dude. AFAIK I wasn't molested (though I definitely show some signs it happened, I went to a therapist about it) but I have had dudes try to be creepy with me. Unwanted contact, trying to convince me I had sex with them using a balloon as a condom, my cousin trying to get videos of me naked, same cousin "secretly" jerking off while sitting right next to me, and other more minor creeps. I didn't tell anyone for a while because I was embarrassed and felt weak because I hadn't done anything to fight back or get them to stop the behavior. Now I don't have an issue with telling people, it's not like I was the one being creepy so I have nothing to be ashamed about

It's the woman that usually steals from the man. If the woman is out earning the man then that's just a failed marriage to begin with.

anyone:
how the FUCK do you read intentions in women? as in, how do you know if a woman wants some quick sex, a relationship, or whatever else? like I've had women throw themselves at me when I didn't even expect them, I've had odd interactions with women in public transport, etc., and I've been oblivious to them.
I'm 30, never had a gf, never had sex with women, yet I'm attractive and utterly retarded, socially speaking.

You may think that but the reality is this wouldn't even be an issue if he wasn't a spineless man who let you be the breadwinner.

Hey man, nayrt but
> I've failed to develop as a result.
Just being aware of this means that you can now develop, which is half the battle. You're already better off than most on this site.

My mother outearns my father yet 40 years later they're still married.
Then again my father is not the type of man that goes on Jow Forums.

I wonder how many times she has cheated on him that you don't know about.

Follow-up to She started kind of going on about other places we could visit. Any thoughts?

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>if the woman is out earning the man then that's just a failed marriage to begin with.

Why? Surely there's at least some examples where that's an unrealistic mindset. Like it's one thing if the lady's a doctor and the guy's flipping burgers, but if the lady's a doctor are her marriages going to be doomed until she marries another doctor or someone with an even higher salary?

In a way you're right; I want to be financially independent, so I reject men that are against me being that. If he had been open about his intentions from the start, this wouldn't even have been an issue because I would have rejected him immediately.

>but if the lady's a doctor are her marriages going to be doomed until she marries another doctor or someone with an even higher salary?
Yes. Women always marry up, never down. If a woman is better off than the man then the woman will always, without fail, lose attraction to that man.

>Could do an overnight trip maybe lol
lol took you long enough to catch on to what she was hinting at

Zero actually, but I know you won't believe me because you've set up your mind like that.

If you've gone on two dates in two weeks and the girl says she's busy for the next 3 because of exams and work (but she says she really wants hang out after they are over) would you assume she's not interested? I was also her first kiss on the second date and it ended the date super awkwardly, which she later explained why to me. Its also her last semester of uni and she's trying to get into law school.

Thats it.
I was a kid so I couldn't fight back.
But it stayed with me so that I thought I had to meet everything with aggression to show I wasn't weak so that they'd leave me alone.
I just feel so pathetic all the time, like I deserve to get treated like dirt for it because I'm just a dumb piece of trash.
The idea of my dad every finding out is still something I cant move past and I kinda resent my parents for never protecting me while everyone else's could.
I respect that you can find strength in being honest about it but I guess thats a difference between us.
I do regret telling her, I just hope she never brings it up again if she does speak to me so we can act like I didn't tell her.
Im sorry that guys acted like that to you as well, especially with your cousin.

Very interesting. From your perspective, is it possible for two people to get into a relationship where neither really care much about money? Or is it always that money is the most important, dominating aspect of a relationship?

It's not an important dominating factor, it should just be a given that the man is able to provide for the woman and give her a sense of security. It's not about being rich, it's just similar to why the man needs a dick bigger than 2 inches.

It's all good dude. In all fairness, there's some people I haven't told about the creepy cousin, and I'm not going to--grandparents mostly. But it's more of me choosing not to rather than feeling like I'm forced to hide it, if that makes sense. It's definitely scary telling people because it can change their opinion of you. But anyone who thinks you're weak for something like that is a very damaged individual who still has a lot of growing to do. And telling people can help, especially if they end up saying they've been through something similar. Lots of people have had shitty stuff happen to them and sharing can heal. But it's also your decision to tell people when you're ready, not anyone else's

>but she says she really wants hang out after they are over
I would assume she's being genuine, but don't assume she'll still feel like hanging out in 3 weeks. Suggest you get together after exams to celebrate and try to set a date, but don't be pushy if she genuinely seems overwhelmed.

Also don't let her blow the concept of law school out of proportion. It's not hard to get in. I got into a T14 school with a 3.1 GPA six years ago... when shit was even harder.

And if the woman is making more than enough to be financially independent, she still absolutely has to be with a man who makes more than her to give her that feeling of security? Is it possible for a couple to have a healthy, happy marriage if both of them make the same amount? What if the difference is marginal, would it still matter who was technically making more money?

If it's roughly equal or a small difference then it's not nearly as important. Really I think it's more important that woman doesn't feel she is marrying below her own status. That is always a recipe for disaster.

Do girls think less of guys who own sex toys like Tenga, Fleshlight, etc.? Do girls think less of other girls who own vibrators?

>give her a sense of security
>by taking away her property, her independence from him, and the security that comes from being able to leave him at any moment if he turns into an asshole anytime during marriage
The worst abused women are always those that are forced to depend on their husband's money.

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Question for Females::

My GF dumped me last week but still asks me to hang out with her and do things with her, still calls and texts me every day and occasionally we still have sex and makeout. She dumped me because she claimed that there wasnt any depth, and that I wasnt right for her, then what the fuck? I'm literally laying right next to her in bed and she doesnt answer any of my questions.

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Was she? She's been weird about shit in the past. Like I kept getting the impression that her parents were really controlling and wouldn't let her go someplace overnight with a guy, even if she is in her late 20s lol

Independence is the last thing a woman needs or wants.

I don't think I am marrying below my status.
I still want only a man who agrees with me on keeping property separate.

Thanks for talking with me.
Its nice to get another perspective on it, even if it is on a anonymous website.
Best of luck for the future.

What exactly are you asking? She doesn't want a future with you but she wants dick and someone to hang out with. You are now FWB. Either roll with it or leave because you're never getting back together. Nor should you want to.

Financial independence was the first thing women fought for, even before the vote.
It's logical of course. I don't want to be materially tied to someone who, no matter how good they start, might turn bad for me later.

Then you're good. Leave the cuck you're with and find a proper man.

But user, you've shown your idea of "proper man" is someone who doesn't want me to be independent, I don't want that. I'll stick to my ideas thanks.

Have some self-respect you loser, get the fuck away from her. She doesn't love you, there's no point in letting her use you as a fucktoy and attention giver. Have some dignity.

You want the same thing I'm saying. You're just looking at it through a woman's lens. Believe what you want.

>You want the same thing I'm saying
If you're , nope.

Nothing wrong with getting laid until you find another girl, user. As long as he understands he should be looking for the next girl instead of waiting on this one.

2 threesomes ffm offered but chickened out (too drunk & they were friends)
today one of them jokingly offered again. gf says she's cool with it, as long as i don't stick it in (just touch)
is this fair? should i do? would it be bad if I'd fuck another girl?

>gf says she's cool with it, as long as i don't stick it in (just touch)
that's stupid

I think so too, but tell her

Well to be fair, if she's into it she might change her mind during the event itself.

here is a likely scenario:
gf says she is cool with it, but is not in fact actually cool with it
this may be either because she's lying to seem chill and lowkey, or because she *thinks* she's cool with it but when shit starts going down she'll realize she's very not cool with it

To everyone ITT,

There are three rules to modern life:
1. Never play cards with a man called "Doc";
2. Never sleep with anyone whose troubles are worse than your own; and
3. Never, whatever else you may do, drink anything unless it's French champagne.

Abide by these rules and you'll do fine in life.

you get the spicy trips and you waste it on shit from a book
nice

Satan, are you trying to make me die of thirst?

>6 months of very little communication with a girl you used to chat and party with a lot.

>Then, out of the blue, she asks you to her birthday, which you can't attend, but then you'll arrange a date in a NYE party.

>On NYE, she begs all day for you to come to her city and to her place.

>When you're finally in the city, she flakes you and makes up excuses all day.

Why? Can someone explain this kind of behavior? Was someone a bigger priority than me? Was she just playing with my feelings?

>change her mind during the event itself
>she'll realize she's very not cool with it
HOW SHOULD I KNOW???

i'm not saying it'd be your fault dude
i'm just saying it could very well change the relationship
and it'd probably be for the worse

If she was looking away from you and looking unhappy when she said yes, that's usually a strong indicator what someone really means is no.

>->
anyone? am I showing my insecurities when I ask this?

user, the fact that you care shows you do give a shit about something/someone. That's okay; you just gotta learn to prioritize.
>brutally honest
Easy to pass into asshole territory.
>doesn't like eating or drinking whatever for whatever reasons.
Dunno why should anyone have a problem with that.
>oblivious
That's never a good thing. Pay attention to your surroundings.

My girlfriend has become totally submissive to me in bed and told me to objectify her and everything, what are some things I should try out? I'm not really into the whole collar thing or the "master" shit, it seems corny, but I like things like
>fucking her face
>scratching and choking her
>deep and fast intercourse
>spanking(of course)
>cumming on her
anything in this vein I should try out? we're more of a rough-sex couple than a bdsm couple I think.

Tease her by pulling out or slowing down when she gets close to orgasm. Tell her to beg for it.
Talk dirty to her. Bitch, slut, etc.
Biting if she's into it

Go watch a bunch of Hookup Hotshot videos and maybe some Max Hardcore shit.

I wouldn't scratch her though. That sounds mean. But pretty much everything else you list is "normal" for rough sex.

I don't watch porn, if you have anything from it off the top of your head I'd like to hear.
Yeah it's pretty standard. I hold her down while we have sex as well just to add that. It seems like the route we're going is exploring public stuff i.e. fingering her when I want and her giving me head at night somewhere. But any new entries into rough sex would be nice

how can I tell if someone is into me over text? is there even a way?

There's actually a multitude of ways to know

will you tell me some