[Your Problems Are Mine]

Why do you date more outgoing girls ?

Is it so important that you can't date a woman that you seem interested ?

If she's going to a martial arts club, she's probably working on the fact that she's shy and may also try to gain confidence through it.

I started boxing 6 months ago and it helped me on many levels, and I also must say, you feel more confident once you learn a proper martial art. I am sure that with your help, reassuring her and etc... she could stop being shy. Who knows.

But are outgoing girls so perfect that this girl you seem interested in is worth passing ? Think deeply about it and make your choice.

What do I do with all my anger and hate?

>Why do you date more outgoing girls ?
I deeply associated my own shyness with weakness, at one time. I moved away from being introverted and became more extroverted over time, as a means to forcefully change myself.

>Is it so important that you can't date a woman that you seem interested ?
I activaley chose to date more outgoing and “normal” girls. I didn’t share many hobbies or interests and I wondered why it wouldn’t go anywhere. I realized that was a huge problem, as I couldn’t talk about the things I liked.

This girl and I share many interests and I believe this would be more fruitful but because I have gone and changed my behaviors, I feel a bit lost.

How can I be interesting to others? I really want human affection, but I just have nothing to say that would contribute to a conversation in a meaningful way. I'm just a boring, uninteresting asshole. I always respond to people with short answers. I have nothing to say.
In addition, it always seems that people aren't genuine, which is probably why I don't actively seek out people, yet I want relationships.

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How do you stop procrastinating? Consciously, I want to do one thing, but my subconscious seems to want to do only things that provide instant gratification, and I have a hard time resisting its instinctual urges. How can I gain control over it, or align its desires with those of my conscious self?

I have this issue where literally if I see my gf talking to one of her medFag friends, I’m sent into this rage that just boils the whole day and eventually results in me breaking something. I know she can talk to whoever she wants and I don’t wanna control her. I just get so pissed and think about strangling these fags the whole day.
>inb4 roid rage

I'm having trouble at work. I don't want to share my workload because 1) I am afraid coworkers will find mistakes I made and tell management and 2) management is impressed by me. I don't want to lose my position at the top of the food chain. What should I do?

Suffering myself from anger issues, find a sport that would let you take out that anger or workout until it hurts. Pain tends to calm anger at least for me I have found that it works.

You can still date for a while and see how it goes. Invite her to some places, see how you two get along and you maybe would like to tell her exactly what you plan.

Tell her that you like her a lot and want to try it because you think she's worth it and you have a real interest in her. If it doesn't work out, too bad at least both of you will have tried.

Not everyone is best friend/discussion partner material. First thing to know. What I recommend is to get hobbies or learn about things you like. Sport, vehicles, history, philosophy, it depends on you.

I like history, boxing, philosophy, art etc.. Not everything is into those things but to be interesting talk about what you like with passion. When it's something you truly like it will be done without effort. Be the conversation driver, show pictures of what you like, become cultured and passionate.

Think of what interests you, simple as that but also remember, to be interesting you have to talk to someone and a conversation goes both ways. Make sure the person is involved. Ask for their opinion, for their personal experiences, seem interested in them and they will notice it and be more interested in you.

I am 26 and recently came out of psychiatry, been in there for 5 years in a ward. I used to be a Chad and worked normal jobs, living independently. Right now I am self employed running a semi successful business, but only due to financial backing of my dad, he is a wealthy business owner himself. Should I feel bad accepting his help?

thanks for making this thread op. how do i cope after abuse? i'm left with multiple mental issues and some more serious physical injuries. sometimes i want to tell the local news because he's involved in certain things with the county.. but i know i shouldn't, or should i? i'm worried exposing him could hurt me somehow and the justice i'm searching for so others won't get hurt by someone like him again. there's a criminal case against him and i'm trying to figure out how to go about a civil suit. it feels like hurting your partner isn't considered seriously like other crimes with how the justice system can treat it..

Hard work. Do you know that feeling of doing something you may regret or are scared of but still do it anyway ? It is the same thing. You have to push yourself. Tell yourself "I'm going to do it at this time and moment" and you do it. Not just with the important task incoming, do your bed when you wake up, take out the trash when needed, start doing shores and stuff you would not want to do

I have no better solution than to force yourself until you get rid of it. I was and still am to some degree a procrastinator but less. I managed that by forcing myself to move and do things. I hope it helps.

Understandable, for anger problems I recommend sport, martial arts or workout, and do you know why you get angry ? Is it because you think they are hitting on her ? Or is it because you think she could cheat ? When she's talking to them present yourself if that has not be done, look at them in the eyes, make sure to be confident.

Just like loud mouth are usually the first ones to run, a man of few words and few movements can say a lot. If you want to get a message through without embarrassing your girl or yourself you can, doing this may reassure you and help you relax.

It is ok to share your workload, a good manager knows how to split the work to give his employees or lower members in the hierarchy responsability. You should see who would be the best at what and give them small amounts of work to do.

If mistakes are made, they'll report it to you and tell you and you should just thank them and congratulate them. It's important to tell someone they've done a good job. Don't be afraid to share, show that instead of being a mule, you are a leader that knows how to take the best from each person.

Keep in mind. Be a leader, not a mule.

I've been infatuated with this girl for 3 years now i tried my hardest to get with her but have been rejected completely. I tried finding other woman until i realized I don't want to cause i only want her. i dont know what im looking for i just want someones thought on my situation

My boyfriend has a female friend he met at school about a year into our relationship. I was out of town and the girl didn't know he had a girlfriend and tried to go home with him, which he declined. I was friends with this girl for months and when I told her the story of the "random girl" that tried to sleep with him, she admitted immediately to it being her and apologized. She has always been kind to me and watched our cats when we're out of town and she's been a great friend to my boyfriend.

Now, we've moved about 200 miles away from her and she visits every month for a weekend and has started dating my boyfriend's best friend. His best friend is a stand-up guy and I think of him like a brother and he wouldn't do anything to hurt anybody. But for some reason I can't shake this feeling that all three of them are conspiring against me. That she wants to fuck my man, and that she hates me and is out to ruin my relationship. She's super confident and walks around in her bra when she's here, constantly talks about how much she loves sex, in detail -- just shit that seems like it's meant to get a reaction from the men in the room. I just want to be able to breathe when she's around and enjoy our time and be happy that she makes my friend happy. How do I cool myself down?

Don't feel bad for accepting his help. He's your dad and wants you to succeed, tell him how much you appreciate his help. There is no shame in that, many people don't have a dad willing to help or a dad at all.

The psychic is very complexe thing, talk about your problems to your friends or even your dad if possible, or a good psychiatrist if you prefer to talk to a stranger. But there is no shame in getting help. Otherwise, everybody should feel ashamed for asking for my advice ! Do you see how ridiculous it is ?

You're welcome, the pleasure is mine. There are many associations and orgs to help people in this situation and they receive funding to prosecute those people and protect people victims of abuse, I suggest you go to one of them and ask for their help.

As for the mental scars, it is something really hard to heal. Depending on the gravity (in this case abuse) it may take years to heal properly. I recommend seeing a psychiatrist or someone in the field. If you can't afford maybe try one of the orgs that defend victims of abuse and if they can't help you with that, I recommend introspection. Think about who you are. What you want to be. How you can become what you wish to be. Think about life, the sky, everything. Introspection helped me understand many things about myself and others but it's regular work and it happens over years. I wish you the best and good luck.

>I have no better solution than to force yourself until you get rid of it.
Well, it was worth a try. I've tried forcing myself but it never works for too long a time. Either way, thanks for trying to help.

>talk about what you like with passion
>become passionate
This is probably the most prominent issue I'm facing. I'm just not a passionate person. Sure, I have hobbies, but it's mostly because I'm interested in them (includes drawing, playing fighting games, learning guitar and a new language, etc). I don't have much stuff to share with others, which goes back to being passionless.
However, I am starting to lose interest in some of my hobbies, so it's not helping my case.
I appreciate the response.

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I play baseball at my university and I lift and I’m strong enough where I could easily beat their asses (275 bench 380 squat 500 diddy) what upsets me is yea basically I just know they’re hitting on her and all those fags in the med school all think they’re so fucking smart (I was in the med school but switched to computer science Bc I hated the med shit) I know she would never cheat but I know those fuckers think they have a shot and it pisses me off. I’m sorry for all the context I haven’t seen my therapist in a week and I just need some guidance.

I keep liking posts by accident. Dammit. Anyway this is probably going to be disappointing but GIVE UP.

I know, I myself always say to never give up but there are things you can't control. It is hard, I've been there, lots of us have, and lots of us have managed to get over it. It is not easy, not at all, but this is it I am afraid. But do not despair, there are other women and when we think we've met the perfect one and will never find another one like this, we find even better. Keep hope.

Women are of a competitive nature. I suggest you mention to her calmly and in private that you do not appreciate her walking around in her bra with your boyfriend nearby and being so explicit about sex and everything.

Though she still seem interested, I doubt she is conspiring but I am not in her head, it is an hypothesis. Do like I said and she should accept how you feel and understand why you don't like this and everything should end up well.

I am worried that if I do so I will come across as insecure and weak :( I know that you're right and just communicating is the best way to go about it but my luck would be that it would introduce a myriad of new issues just by me opening my mouth.

i want to do good things for the world and the people in it user. so is it wrong that i want to tell the community about who he really is? he was rumored to be rapey and mentally/emotionally abusive to another ex of his that also ended up leaving state. i want to speak out about healthcare, mental illness, and warning signs. i am still scrambling for the right resources, i have been out of a job for a long time because of it. i'm slowly getting there i hope, to a good place. i hope your life is/will be looking bright too.

I used to like drawing as well and completely lost this hobby. Hobbies are like friends, they come and go, if at the moment you seem to lose all of your interests try new things. Appreciate the beauty of some places and maybe try new sports ?

I don't think I have known anyone who has been passionate about something they have never tried or done.

Like you said, you could easily beat them up. What is there to be angry ? Your girlfriend is faithful and if one would attempt anything she would probably tell you. You would most likely just need to pay him a visit and look threatening (remember not to overreact and go to jail for stupid stuff) for him to give up.

You have nothing to fear or be angry about, you have this situation under control focus more on relaxing.

If you're afraid to come as insecure and weak mention that it makes you and your man (even if not true) uncomfortable. Say you always feel akward and you would both like it if she could stop. Problem fixed. (I think)

And I want to make europe proud and strong again. Unfortunately user, I can't. You can expose him if you feel strong enough for it and if you get the support you need, but as for the other stuff I recommend you clean your own room first. I hate saying that but it is true. Fix yourself, and fix the lives of people around you. No need to get all tricky and stuff, help them, be positive, be nice. Make sure you are happy and it will impact those around you in a positive way.

One thing to keep from this: One thing at a time. Do not rush and do what you can at your scale. It is much better than trying to do everything and ending up doing nothing.
[PLEASE READ] As I am european, it is 4:30 am here. I will now sleep but I will start this thread tomorrow again probably. I hope my advice was useful and if it did not fix your problems, maybe it helped you think differently.
Keep your questions for tomorrow if you see the thread or re ask them if I have not answered.

Good night anons. May you all find strengh in your struggles and come out with a thicker skin.

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Saw a grill twice last week and I thought it went great. Then she randomly flaked on me Saturday with no excuse and is only responding to me with one word answers. No idea how I Messi it up, but I really liked her.

Already deleted her number so I won't contact her and I'm moving on but it's sad because she was really high quality.

NOT OP
same happened to me
Really warm then went cold still havent cut her off because she still talks me about stuff
But its for the better if you do so u don't waste your time bud

Recently fell for an older woman hard. We spent a month intensely together but between her getting to know more people and me falling for her, I was friend zoned.

After going through a rollercoaster of emotions, I still like her as a friend but still cannot get over our initial spark. The clinginess is gone and I can talk to her normally again. We even went for coffee and chat and of course she said "I still see you as a great friend". No issue there.

However, while I know she also likes someone, perhaps even hooked up with him, I still like her as a friend and she really is a nice woman. She is also very beautiful. I know I will move on and I took up hobbies to help me and they did.

We are both living abroad and part of my motive to stay is, maybe, just maybe i can reignite things as i hope to stay longer in asia in the same city.

Initial advice was to ignore her during my heart break. She would initiate communication then. But now that I can talk with her again proper, and still think of maybe trying to get out of the friend zone, how should I proceed?

One person told me next time she invites me, reject her.

What should I do?

Be clear and know exactly what you got to do,divide it in sections,make it so you will work with 100% focus on it for 20-30 mins,then take some breaks to do something you enjoy,the instant gratification,rinse and repeat until you done

I met a drug user who was already caught by the police, he's from my classroom. The problem is that I talked to him for a half hour, I was too friendly but I do not want to be friends with him because I do not want to get involved with wrong people, he even offered me drugs and I only talked to him by chance for not having what to do . What do I do to distance myself from him? He must have been attached to me, we talk about various subjects.

I’m sadistic and enjoyed torturing and killing animals when I was four. There is something seriously wrong with me and I was thinking of therapy but I honestly just don’t see how I will change. I was homeschooled until highschool bullied and now very very introverted and lonely but in college and hitting the gym at least

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I've been looking for a non-bullshit job for three months while on EI, and have only had my chain yanked.

Nobody has called my references out of the dozens and probably hundreds of resumes i've sent out

I'm still on great terms with my old boss and coworkers, and do personal projects at the previous workplace often

Is there any way to build up the self esteem I had before getting laid off? The grind to find any worth in society is making me quite depressed

I’m 18 and still haven’t lost my virginity. So many guys have already lost theirs and I’m deathly afraid that I’m behind and losing momentum. Am I running out of time?

I’m 19 and a virgin in uni, I probably could lose mine this week to a tinderslut or dorm slut if I wanted too, but i’m tryimg to save mine for something meaningful the issue is I don’t think there are any girls doing that too

I’m 19 a virgin and in uni looking for a girl whos a virgin as well or only like one other guy. I’ve been on 3 dates this year including one with my crush but ig I struck out on all of them despite thinking the date went well. What do I do??

I also don’t know how to make friends, all the friends I have here are from people who were just always in the common area and that became my friendgroup, the only new friend ive made since then befreinded me first. I want to make new freinds to meet new people mostly girls but idk how i’m pretty shy at first

I go to school in a competitive environment and also work a lot. Recently, I've been pushing myself very hard and I think it's ruining my health. I constantly get tension headaches, and I've developed insomnia (last time I had it was 13 yrs ago) and now only sleep 1-2 hours a day.

I'm on track to take two summer jobs related to my field because they would both be great for my career. They both involve a lot of research, so I could do a portion of it from home. But I'm beginning to wonder if I should just stick to one to give myself a "break." The issue is that even considering it makes me feel like a lazy piece of garbage. I've always had the mentality that I should suffer now to give myself a good future, but health is important too.

I had an affair 4 years ago. It lasted 4 months. But I’m those four months I felt more connected to my mistress than I ever had with my wife. I even started looking at lawyers for a divorce. But then we found out we were having a second child. I didn’t want to be a deadbeat dad so I ended things with the mistress. I still to this day care very deeply about her. I just want these feelings to go away or to come to peace with them so I can move on with my life. It’s been 4 YEARS and I’m still not over her.....she recently got engaged and when I found out I got so sick to my stomach I actually vomited. Please help.

I don't want emotions anymore because I realize I'll never be able to fulfill said needs. I want to live as a complete recluse so that I don't have to be reminded about what I can't have.

Lazyness is my problem with other things

I was seeing this girl for a month, she told me she have a meth addiction, i went ahead and fuck her anyways. Thought i could help her and all that. We have the same interests and i do see similarities between me and her. Needless to say it ended spectacularly bad. She left me because i was putting too much expectations and was too controlling of her when all i was trying to do was care for her. I feel like a retard for playing with fire, she told me when i was getting to know her about her addiction. I'm 21. I know i have to move on. But I still think about her. I want to improve myself and realize there is something wrong with me for getting with someone like that. Wise user, i need advice, say what i need to hear not what i want to hear.

Okay, so I have been dating this guy for like 6 weeks, taking it kinda slow. With sex and stuff, I mean. Yesterday we went to the gym and had a good time, he said he wanted to meet me again this week. Then we tried sex for the first time. It didn't work. The condoms were too small, he hadn't had sex for 2 years, and he didn't say anything until way into it. I tried to keep it light and not serious, show him I understand. We had a good talk. He told him he's stressed out a lot, he was thinking about how early he has to wake up in the morning, about work and stuff. I'm an emotional person and I've noticed before he cannot really relax. That makes me feel anxious and kinda terrible, so I cried and talked about my similar experiences. But I also cried in the morning, feeling shitty after working out so hard after a long break. I texted him today. I asked if he still wants to see me, and he said he hasn't thought that far yet. Before, he told me he really likes me and would like to get to know me better. I don't know what changed. Probably a lot of things, but I'm feeling very shitty right now. I know his stress and his outlook on life made me feel bad, but I liked him. And he liked me, up until now. I feel shitty since now, after so many failed dates and short "relationships", I feel like no one accepts me to date or have a relationship with.

Problem I hate the way women act and I do not want to take care of one but I want a gf how can I solve this or how can I stop wanting a gf?

How do I endure the feeling that losing weight is gonna take time and effort, and building up babby's first muscles after that is gonna take even more time and effort? Sometimes it's discouraging.

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I’m falling in love hard with a girl from my friend group in uni, and I’m getting a bit pissed over not knowing what to do now. She’s always with her friends or at home (she lives pretty far away, which makes it hard for us to meetup), and it’s making it real hard to get some alone time. She shows some signs of being interested too (laughs at everything I say, weird glances and smiles, sometimes we end up texting each other until late night, etc.) but at the same time I don’t want to be *too* hopeful about stuff like that, because that has fucked me before. It’s messed up

Remember that starting is always the hardest part, after you build up the habits it gets a lot easier

Hello, I’m the user who asked advice on the girl who joined my martial arts club. I wanted to Thank You, firstly. I’m grateful that you’ve given very reasonable advice.

I suppose this is a part-two, where I want to ask how I can build up a relationship and not drive her off by coming on too strong? I’m usually very forward with women but it seems I cannot employ the same “tactics” in a sense. I believe she is worth it, I like her enough to want to know and understand her better.

Yeah. Sometimes it's hard to remember, when the going gets rougher.

Since I can't make offline friends for various reasons, is there a feasible way to meet people online without using discord? I really detest don't want that shit anywhere near my devices.

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I can't seem to be able to have fun without drinking or doing drugs, especially when people around me are drinking and/or doing drugs.
Wat do?

there is this girl that i find her cute she's a friend of my friend we meet up sometimes in school as a group but we don't talk like ever and now when i moved to other school not far from the first one my friend told me she's into me and always talk about me and she hint him that she want start some kind of relationship , so my friend told me everything about what's happening (he even showed me screen shots ) and that she's waiting for a move from my side and im bit socially awkward and knowing she have a crush on me made it worst , the point is how should i start a chat with her ? i start irl with small talk or send her a msg and what to say ? plz help

Are you seeing her soon irl? If so do it then, if not do it through text, start with small talk but then you can move it by saying,

hey we never really talk much so do you want to hang out(or/and) get something to eat sometime?

OP here. I am back and took the time to change my name. I will not reply to everything above this message but will for everything below.

I am quite surprised the thread is still alive. If you have posted your problem while I was away and want my advice and opinion, please repost it.

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There's this girl I'm interested in since like 9 months now. I have no idea if she's interested or not...I don't know how to ask her out especially because she has a special position from me and I'm scared she could tell other about this, and then I'll be screwed...
I wish I had a way to estimate the interest she has in me without being seen as interested

I've been diagnosed by psychiatrist with GAD and depression. Chest pains, suicidal ideations, and so forth. Recently it feels as if my brain has started to rot, I feel much more stupid than I used to be, my life goes downhill and I am carrying everything solely on my skills acquired in the past. Medication has to be taken, but I am insanely afraid I might ruin my brain competely. I have no problem with socializing, I just don't feel anything regarding friendships, romantic relationships, and so on.

I don't know what I want to hear. Anything would be quite relieving.

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there is a chance to see her if i go visit my friend in his school but the problem is i can't get her face to face with me to tell her . what about a msg what should i say start with hello ? idk but i feel like creep when i think of msging her or when is the right time to send one i don't to make fool of my self

Understood!
>Hello, I’m the user who asked advice on the girl who joined my martial arts club. I wanted to Thank You, firstly. I’m grateful that you’ve given very reasonable advice.
>I suppose this is a part-two, where I want to ask how I can build up a relationship and not drive her off by coming on too strong? I’m usually very forward with women but it seems I cannot employ the same “tactics” in a sense. I believe she is worth it, I like her enough to want to know and understand her better.

Ask her if she wants to go eat somewhere and take coffee when she's available. Be casual about it. It's during this time that you will most likely if she is interested in you.

You don't risk anything really if you are pretty casual about it.

Do you see a psychiatrist still or anyone working in the field ? Have you mentioned your feelings about this and asked if there were side effects to what you are taking ?

Are you into reading or do you have any hobby that you can practice alone and be proud of what you do while it makes you happy ? Find something you like to do and you can be proud of or captivated by. Reading books, write your own stories, paint maybe ? It is up to you.

It's not easy being lonely even if we don't really want any friends or lover, you need to replace it with something healthy otherwise you grow bored and depressed.

I recommend you try to find yourself a passion. Also have you considered that maybe you're not getting dumber, you're just not learning anything new ? Might be because you don't experience new things or don't get involved into something that would lead to research or discovery.

I hope this helps, if not, please write me again and tell me your opinion on what I told you.

I am feeling aimless. I have no idea what i wanna work as later in life, so i decided to study history since i find it interesting. I thought id find out what i wanna do after a while.
There is overwhelming amounts to read, a lot of assignments to deliver, to the point i cant keep up.
Others studying the same have diffeculties too, but they manage to deliver and pass (which im struggling with)
How do i escape this dread? How do i make my daily life somewhat meaningful?

Man, 20, Norway, first year history bachelor

I know what you are feeling. You obviously need to take it slow. Do not rush things and build it step by step, it is not easy and requires (which I myself have very little of) but there was never a great thing that has been built in less than a day.

To build that relation I'd recommend you go outside to do activities. Wether it is cinema, restaurant, it is up to you. Make her feel desired and show that you care.

Take it slow and be interested, but also keep being yourself, just maybe, a more "calm" and "slower" version of yourself. Strong relationships grow over time. It's like a flower that you must attend to.

First of all this is not just for you I apologize about the mistakes I may make I am completely trashed but still went to take the time to go back to help. I hope you forgive me.

Anyway. We can't always manage. I am sorry if you wanted hope but I refuse to lie to you. Do you think you are able to manage this ? If yes, good, if not, prepare for impact.

I will tell you something personal. I have studies languages russian and english part of a degree of languages mixed with economy and law. I took this because I was already speaking french english and spanish and wanted to learn russian. I struggled and was bored because I did not like most of the classes. I barely passed first year and failed the second one as I had decided to quit.

I felt like my life was becoming one of those crack addicts and good for nothing idiots. I have a huge fear of failure and this, completely ruined me. I felt like jumping of a bridge (which is I did not because it is in struggle that we must show our best) and it was a real bad time.

Months later, I kept on pursuing russian by myself, and was struggling to find a job. I did not want to go back to university again or to any class whatsoever. But I did not give up. I kept on learning what I liked and got myself a job that is hard, but that I like and is well paid.

Point of the story is, you may fail. Things may not go your way, never give up. If you really want this bachelor, ask for someone's help, a private teacher or friends maybe. Try your hardest. If that doesn't work out. Take a deep breath, reorganize your mind and keep on going. There is a great quote by Churchill: "If you're going through hell, keep going." Stopping means you will never get out of it, so the only thing to do, is walk until you reach the exit.

Good luck to you and be strong, and proud, especially in the face of adversity.

>Man, 20, Norway, first year history bachelor
man, 23, Texas, last year history bachelor here

the beginning courses oddly enough feel the hardest. I have no clue what they teach in Norway, but the lower level history courses here are all United States history which is just so incredibly droll after hearing it non-stop throughout middle and high school, which is why it felt like more of a difficult slog to get through.
once you get past the more rudimentary ones you can generally choose courses that interest you more, and by that time you'll have a rhythm down for completing work so any perceived increased workload won't really matter to you.

Just say hey add some small talk and send what I said, if she has a crush on you she would be super excited if you texted her

I’m 19 a virgin and in uni looking for a girl whos a virgin as well or only like one other guy. I’ve been on 3 dates this year including one with my crush but ig I struck out on all of them despite thinking the date went well. What do I do??

I also don’t know how to make friends, all the friends I have here are from people who were just always in the common area and that became my friendgroup, the only new friend ive made since then befreinded me first. I want to make new freinds to meet new people mostly girls but idk how i’m pretty shy at first

Someting must be wrong with what you say and do during the dates. Try to think about what you could have done wrong and small talk will get you where you want to go. Some girl in the cafeteria "Well I'll be dead by the time my (thing) arrive" "What have you picked ?" Simple small talk.

Be casual about it and even if you're shy, there is no courage without fear.

Thanks for the answer
I can relate to a lot of what you said, (the failure factor being somewhat close,) but there is this element i may not have expressed well enough, which is the uncertainty in the choices i made.
I know i like history, but am i willing to take three years dedicated to it? Should i maybe study other topics first so i can test the waters and find out what i like? Would more self-reflection be smart, to find out what i want with life?

Thats why im aimless, because i dont see meaning or purpose in what i do. As fascinating as it is to learn about the past, im not sure if that is something i want to pursue in a career anyway

Feeling kinda bad myself atm, have two tasks i gotta deliver in ten minutes, which i have no way to finish in time

I was incarcerated for crimes I did not commit. A former spouse has been manipulating the police and using them as well as our infant son to ruin my life. She has successfully managed to have more.charges pressed on me and I'm facing half a decade. Should I run or just accept my fate?

I'm 24 and I'm very intelligent. She is 30, gorgeous and painfully ignorant. Very self absorbed, drug addicted, unemployed, petty and bored.

I didn’t really do anything wrong idk they mostly led the conversation but they were also more outgoing sort of girls, the most recent date she said she wasn’t interested in dating anyone at the moment but wanted to hang out more but we haven’t really done anything since.

For meeting girls tho how does that simple small talk progress at all? How would I go from making a comment about the pizza to hanging out?

how did you manage to fuck up so much before 24

Coming from a very broken backwards family, growing up in poverty and isolation. Very small town. It's easier than you think.

I speak 4 languages (some better than others) and when I was studying to get a job related to international business I felt like you. Was spending 3-5 years studying for a job that I knew I would not like worth it ? Absolutely not.
I've always hated numbers and big corporations where it's all about money and money. I'd rather feel useful so now I am quite happy working as a airport runway agent or whatever it is called in english. It's not what you would expect of someone like me but I enjoy it and that's what matters.

Self reflection is smart, I've been doing it for years, always having a third eye to look at what you're doing from an outsider's perspective is always a must (imo) to a happy and fruitful spiritual life. Money is important but it can do so little for your spirit.

Study what you love, but make sure the goal, the job you will land because of those studies is something you actually want to do.

You love history, but would you be happy working in one of the jobs that most people end up doing after they have done the bachelor you're doing ?

This may not be a widely shared opinion, and you may disagree with it, as it is just a personal opinion, but thinking of what type of job you want to do matters more that pursuing studies in what you like.

Ask yourself those questions: Would I like being in an office the whole day ? Would I like to be outside ? Would I prefer paperwork or manual labour ? What would make me proud and happy. The job you'll want will be your goal and the purpose of your efforts. Try to see what other things you may like while also thinking of a job you'd like to do.

Most people tend to get stuck in a profession for their entire life even if it's a different job it will most likely be similar, at least in my country that's the case.

What you must remember: Instrospection is GREAT. Try other things and try to see what job you'd like to do to set up a goal, a purpose.

Didnt see your post as i didnt refresh as i wrote an answer, my b

We had a big problem of too much syllabus in our first semester + bad teacher, which resulted in above 50% failing their exams. Although i did pass that subject, i failed in another. Basicly all in our study group (except one guy) failed one exam.
Luckily we can take those up again, but it pains me that i gotta do these failed exams in addition to my normal exams+those neverending tasks

(On a maybe unrelated note, it feels good to vent some frustrations somewhere)

What proof does she have ? Are they believable ?
Would that hold in front of a court ?
Is there an organization dedicated to that type of stuff and can they help you ?

Ask yourself those things and if everything is negative think about this. Running away will get your more time. Are you willing to take the risk ? Or would you rather purge your sentence?

I am surprised you did not mention killing her (not that I suggest it) as even myself would have lost it in that situation. Stay strong and keep on going. Search for every viable option to defend yourself and don't be afraid to spend money on it. If you put all of your efforts this and win, I'm pretty sure she will pay dearly. Remember, look for what can help you and if this is hopeless, weigh the pros and the cons of running.

Also: you mentioned she's a drug addict, use that to make her lose any credibility and mention the fact she's being petty and trying to get back at your for leaving or whatever, maker her lose the credibility if you can.

Also I hate reddit but maybe take a look at r/legaladvice maybe they can help you.

Uni student here. How do I pull myself away from time wasters and get started on work? Assuming I have 0 willpower. I already have a great technique to keep working after I start, but in between work I delay a ton.

Cut off the phone, shut down the computer, put yourself in front of your sheet of paper or whatever it is and brute force yourself into working.

Quite simple but to lazyness I have yet to find anything better than brute force. The more you force yourself the easier it becomes to start working (personal experience, you may disagree)

I kinda like the wibe of manual labour, get into a work rythm (with or without turning my brain off), and get some work done. My problem in that regard is that i have no experience, and no idea if i can do that for a living for a long time.

On the other hand i have had some work in primary scool. I was taking care of an autistic child, helping him out with learning and focusing in classes. It was rather tough, but it felt rewarding and meaningfull. (I had no experience whatsoever with either teaching or being an assistant for children with autism)

Made me think that i could possibly work with kids, although im not entirely sure how long i would want to have kids scream all around me all day long (Not to mention if i was to study to become a teacher or something similar. Writing tasks kills me on the inside)

Okay.
Here, can you relate to this?

I gotta go to sleep, have more lectures tomorrow, so i wont reply right away if you wanted to add more to what i already said

Good night :)

Not all manual labour is harmful to the body. Work with wood ? Become a carpenter ? Work with metal maybe by welding stuff ? Ask to become an apparentice, we call them that here, where you can learn the job by working with a professionnal or find a specialized establishment.

If teaching is not your thing and you think that it'd be bad on the long run and too much work then don't do it. You have many options. Keep asking yourself questions and look around.

I can. You don't work for others and you don't build anything for others. You do everything for yourself.

Things that are out of your reach should be in the backgroud, not in the foreground. Some believe in a day of reckoning, call it the day of the rope or whatever you want but a lot believe in the day when they will reap what they sow.

Get yourself a spiritual life. I don't mean believe in God necesseraly but become more spiritual. Believe. Believe in a special someone. Believe in a historical figure that's a role model. Believe in honor and sacrifice. Nihilism is for the weak and poor-minded.

You need focus. You need introspection. Think about your options and what you know. How can I be happier ? How can I improve my current situation ? How can I improve what I know and is what I know correct ? Always ask yourself questions they will help you define a goal to better your life and believe in something.

Yea, i get you.
But still, the situation is so sever that i don't know how i will survive, man, and i just KNOW that retards will be too stupid to understand that they are killing their own freedom.
Hell, they will CHEER for it, for comunism and sharia like in god-damn star wars.
I mean.. Just thinking of that massive future cognitive dissonance kill me, let alone thinking about the time of wolves coming in..
It's like seeing a giant feet that it's about to stomp on you, and other people don't care, and don't WANT to care.
It's fucking devastating, man..

I'm on the border of ending relationships with people. Some of my friends really hurt me, but still consider me a friend. Should I confront them about how feel and accept an apology if they give one? Should I just cut my ties and move on? I just dont know.

If this is what worries you the most in life and you can't get it out of your head, why not learn useful skills ? Do a useful job ? Maybe also learn a useful sport ?

In my country I know a circle of people that are just waiting for "the time of wolves" as you call it. Myself included. Don't let fear overrun you. You may think it is anger but truly it is fear. Fear of losing everything, but not everything is earthly, not for me nor for my friends.

youtube.com/watch?v=de1GQdRX_-k here is a beautiful song that is about old values like honor and loyalty. In the end there is sentence that you should think about:

"No matter what happens in this world, a same fire will unite us" You are not alone. You're not the only person thinking what you've told me.

Those are my personal beliefs but I think they should help you. If you fight for what is right to you and with the proper mindset you have nothing to fear. Death is everything and unavoidable. If death there must be, let it be glorious. None of the things would happen slowly with everyone submitting, there would be riots, wars, and thus, a chance to defend what you hold dear to your heart and maybe do more than what you would have ever done in time of peace.

I hope this eases your mind and sets you to become stronger, in every way.

Pretty sure I've been this type of friend for someone, I suggest you mention it to them. Say how important it is to you and how uncomfortable you feel when they make those comments and see how they react, if they don't care cut ties, otherwise, you've avoided losing friends for nothing.

Well, seems I have answered everybody, I have an important meeting tomorrow and need sleep as it's almost 2am.

Good night anons. I hope I was helpful and that I have made your life easier/better or that I helped you pass one of your obstacles at least. To glory and pride, never give up anons and for every problem there is a solution.

I’m always extremely bored. I have a shitty job I need to quit. I have no interest in sexual relationships. I’d rather just die at this point.

I'm in a slump. Flunked out of a shitty state university last year and spent what would have been last semester backpacking Europe.

I've since enrolled in community college and plan on transferring after next semester, but the days move slow like molasses. Probably because aside from school and homework, my days are empty. I have visions of being stuck at home for the rest of my life. A crushing reality.

Please respond

I'm moving out on my own and I don't even know where to start.
I'd like a job better than retail bullshit but I'm not qualified for anything interesting. I'd be fine with a shoebox apartment in walking distance to public transport, but I'm not confident in my budgetary needs until I have some kind of job.
I haven't even decided on a major city to base myself in /near, but I'm mostly between Boston and New York (both fairly close to home, I'm from New England).
I made a thread earlier asking for general advice but nobody responded, so hit me up internet stranger.

Thanks.
It helps a bit.