Why do I only attract tards and creepy old men

I'm 21 and I get called cute by a lot of people, probably due to the fact that I'm really awkward and quiet most of the time.
I wouldn't say I'm out right ugly: no bad acne, petit, generally well groomed but there must be something off about me seeing as no one ever wants to take pictures with me when we hang out and its uncommon that I get male attention from someone normal. I'm say I'm maybe a 5 or 6/10?

Most guys that do give me attention are one of the following:
-Creepy old men, old enough to be my grandfather, reeking of alcohol and cigarettes. "Ello, babe. Yer boyfriend picking you up? Ya want a ride home, sweet cheeks?"
-Literally fucking autistic. Like, barely functioning as a human being, hardly able to form a sentence (from being retarded, not because they're awkward), reeking of body odour and just disgusting. I had two of these come up to me at comic con and they were literally breathing on me, one two inches from my face. 'Yur vewry pweddy... veeewy pweeeddy...'.
I have male friends that have said that I'm cute/attractive but then why is it only ever creeps that hit on me?!

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What are your social skills like? How do you dress? What vibes do you give off?

There’s prob something off about your personality, social skills, or general presentation. Try posting in amiugly and ask them to be brutally honest, ask them what kind of vibes they get from you. If you’re giving off horsegirl vibes browse instagrams of girls who get attention from young attractive men and copy their styles and demeanors.

Guys dont know it but so much of attraction when it comes to being a woman has to do with the image you give off and being socially adept in a feminine way.

>ugh, why doesn't Chad hit on me?
Kill yourself

>Men not my grandfather’s age

lmfao if that’s your standard for a chad I feel sorry for you

t. angry grandpa

Personality is, uh, I guess I'm a bit of a sheep (shy, goes along with everyone else, even if I'm not enjoying whats going on).
I don't like putting myself out there because I see myself as boring. I like listening to others, learning their interests and trying to help with their problems. If the roles were reversed and people were trying to learn about me, I'd probably just shut down because I lack confidence and don't see myself as worth talking about.
Social skills are a tad lacking, I suck at initiating conversation but I can keep it going if someone else starts.
Dress-wise, I like casual-formal. Button blouses and short skirts (given that I'm petit, it looks good because it seems modest but my legs get shown off).
Most people tend to compliment it but I also get asked "what plans do you have tonight then?" a lot so maybe I over do it? I started to wear jeans more often but idk if that helps.

Thank you, user

You sound boring, play it safe, librarian, basic. I don’t mean to be rude but why would anyone go for that? You don’t have to be that way. Go to concerts, plan a cross country trip, start playing an instrument, travel to Thailand, get weird with your life. Go to weird lectures, dye your hair. Get some funny stories, live a little. Once you have those experiences you’ll find it easier to talk about yourself and you’ll gain more confidence. Once your confidence is up you’ll interact with more people and you’ll have more of a chance to improve your social skills.

I cannot stress how important social skills are in women. We are expected to have much higher social skills than men.

Go to a regular bar or club or something with some normal girl friends, see what happens
>I like listening to others, learning their interests and trying to help with their problems. If the roles were reversed and people were trying to learn about me, I'd probably just shut down because I lack confidence and don't see myself as worth talking about
You sound like myself from a a year ago, if you were willing to listen to them and their problems, I think you’ve earned the right to talk about yourself

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I realize this may be a little bit blunt but it’s because I was in your position. I’ve known so many people in that position. You have to get out of your comfort zone and work hard at getting out of it.

Being an attractive woman is not just about looks, the guys who say that are either oblivious to the effort it takes to have an attractive personality and demeanor as a woman. They see an attractive girl get attention and they are completely oblivious to what it took for her to be attractive, they think it’s just looks but if she dressed like a horse girl, was meek, unsociable, didn’t have the facial mannerisms right, didn’t do her makeup well, played it safe like a soccer mom, they’d rate her a 2/10.

I will date you, are you from Europe?

>-Literally fucking autistic. Like, barely functioning as a human being, hardly able to form a sentence (from being retarded, not because they're awkward), reeking of body odour and just disgusting. I had two of these come up to me at comic con and they were literally breathing on me, one two inches from my face. 'Yur vewry pweddy... veeewy pweeeddy...'.
this is Jow Forums

Ecks dee

>We are expected to have much higher social skills than men.
Incorrect. Women are allowed to be boring and submissive, men aren't

your standards are just too fucking high

None of you sound rude, its actually very helpful.
Honestly, I've heard a lot worse. There was a guy, who was somewhat interested in me a while ago and he put a lot of stress on the fact that I always played it safe and really needed to push myself to actually stand out and do something. He teased me a lot about it.
He was a good friend and almost seemed a bit hurt by how little I put myself out there.. I felt bad because I come from a shitty and unsupportive background and felt like I couldn't do anything about it and was just doomed to be plain because I'd learned that I had to conform to survive.

user, how would you like it if only obese, greasy, landwhale women approached you, reeking of BO and lacked any kind of intelligence?

Ask a friend to help you break out of your shell, someone you trust and who gets it

Your autism is showing

>Implying that women ever approach men

At least you don’t have to worry about being the person initiating all the time. I consider myself a 5/6 out of 10 and I never get hit on. I try to initiate things but nobody seems interested or they chat for a day and die out and I’m left on read. I admit I have a boring night shift job which leads to a boring night life when I’m off work but I live in rural Kentucky so there’s nothing to do and I wouldn’t be stuck at home if there were a significant other that I could travel and do things with. It’s also hard living in a hookup culture while being a demisexual. Good luck op, I hope you figure something out. I actually came to Jow Forums this morning to possibly post about my recent attempt at a relationship, but knowing I’m not the only one really brings me some peace of mind.

Probably a stupid question here, but how do I make the creeps go away? Or is this something that happens with all women?
There must be something that specifically attracts them.
Is it because I come across as shy/patient?

I think not being able to initiate conversation is part of the issue for me.
I wish you the best of luck also, user. Hopefully things start to look up.
I think everyone here has a point about needing to 'get out there more' and do stuff.

I came from a shitty background too and had zero confidence. No room to do anything exciting as a kid my home life was so depressing.

So I was a boring person with no cool stories or social skills, obv I had zero confidence and played it safe. You have to play it safe when you know you can’t stand out in a good way.

That doesn’t mean you aren’t a good person, it’s just when people are aroudn others they expect entertainment. They don’t want “treats me well but has the entertainment value of a brick wall”. You have the potential to be entertaining in your own way, but you have to go out of your comfort zone to find it.

So have experiences that will make you stand out. Go backpacking around Europe. Try smoking weed in Amsterdam, go bungee jumping, stay at a hostel, go to some weird resort in eastern europe, meet other young people. Go to a foreign country (that is safe for women, western europe is good) and hang out at bars and get to know different people. Don’t be afraid to be weird just give them fake contact details if the night is utterly embarrassing. If it is embarrassing that might even make for a funny and relatable story if you tell it right and playfully. Go to a meeting for flat earthers not because you believe it but because it’s weird and a funny story for others, just do things that make for good stories. Once you have them the rest will come. Write down things that happen to you and practice telling them in an entertaining way. Record yourself so you notice if you’re coming across weird and adjust yourself. Tell your stories to different people and notice what makes them laugh. Don’t worry about your stories being 100% accurate, it’s ok to exaggerate a little for comedic effect. Confidence will come little by little.

You only have one life get weird with it. I’m invested in this bc I’m you 5 years ago fwiw.

It’s true, if I’d go out more I’d probably end up socializing at some point or another. I just assume it’s me spending money on something to stand in the corner until whatever it is has ended. Also yeah I’d get used to creepy people hitting on you. There’s a guy that’s been posting on a girls know’s stuff like daily. He commented this like 4 days ago and she never said anything or liked it or whatever and he’s still flooding her notifications.

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At least you're not a 2. Get over it. Or just hire gigolos like I do.

You're just telling her to become a gross trash person.

I bet there is at least five people who would date OP, just on this thread..

Wtf is gross and trashy about traveling or living life? Makes the incels feel insecure?

You probs ugly then, they just being nice maybe

You sound like every low class 'deep' retard I knew back at university. It's not impressive, or 'living your life', it's superficial garbage culture.

It is more about in the details.
>give fake contact
>practice telling your story while recorsing yourself
>lie in your stories to make them interesting
>do what everybsody else does, not just because they are good things but becuase everybody else does them
>go to flat earth meeting under false pretences

Yeah please do point to the place where I said I was “deep” or impressive in any way. You sound boring. It’s not superficial garbage culture to go out and experience different things, to seek out different experiences to be able to find what you like and share funny stories with others.

>go to Thailand, live a little, get crazy, go clubbing, go get fucked by chad like I did
So you want other girls to regret their past decisions too?
Have you tried a dating app OP? That’s a sure way of finding out if you are actually ugly.

Where did I say you called yourself deep?

>tfw no boring qt gf to go to cons with and cuddle watching movies

>give fake contact
There’s nothing trashy about giving people fake contact info if you’re not interested in connecting with them.
>practice telling your story while recorsing yourself
That’s how you get better at things. Practice and critique.
>lie in your stories to make them interesting
It’s not about lying, it’s about not being anal about telling the story linearly, exactly how it happened. Slight exaggerations make things more intersting, and you can elaborate “well it wasn’t that big, but it was huge”. It’s how humans communicate.
>do what everybsody else does, not just because they are good things but becuase everybody else does them
Where’d I say to do things everyone else does? I said to do things out of her comfort zone and gave some examples. Travelling is a classic way to broaden your horizons.
>go to flat earth meeting under false pretences
Never said to go there under false pretenses. You can join and be like I don’t believe this but I want to get to know you guys. Point is to expose yourself to things you wouldn’t otherwise have seen.

says the autist on Jow Forums

I’ve travelled and never fucked anyone, and I have zero regrets. You are so fucking pathetic. You have zero experience with women but consider yourself an expert on how they behave, what they want, and how they operate lel. Like an old cat lady lesbian who couldn’t keep a man giving young men advice on how to keep a lady.

You said I was like a low class “deep” retard. That implies a group that thinks they’re deep. And re: the low class, I got a stem degree and am in the top 10% income bracket for my age so shows what you know.

Sucks to be you user

I’m not a man tho. I’m just pointing out that you don’t need to get crazy to attract a guy. Not everyone is as vicious and on the offense as you and a lot of guys do actually prefer a nice, calm woman without an aggressive personality.

Pretty much this

You cant, there are ugly people everywhere. Deal with it and stop being a drama queen

>Go to a meeting for flat earthers not because you believe it but because it’s weird
Yes, hang out with a bunch of retards and become retarded. Great advice user

You know what I think is funny? The fact that I mentioned travelling and you immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was encouraging her to go to clubs, get fucked, and to live a life of regrets. You insulted me by implying I travelled to fuck “Chads” and want other girls to experience regret. Then you have the nerve call me aggressive? Take a look in the mirror hun. That is not the behavior of a nice, calm woman.

You think travelling makes a woman a whore. You insinuated that experiencing life and experiencing life makes you promiscuous. Vicious and aggressive? I’ve fucked zero people on my travels. I spent time in bars getting to know people, what their lives are like, what they’ve done with their lives, making friends. You would not call a man who travels promiscuous or assume he’s “vicious” and on the offense for going out and living life rather than staying home and being meek and boring - when it’s proven it’s not working.

I seriously doubt you are a woman, if so I feel sorry for you. If you are I guess you’ll make a nice and submissive warm dick warmer for some altright retard who also thinks women are inferior and who overestimates his own intelligence.

You wouldn’t call a man a whore for travelling and experiencing life. You wouldn’t assume a guy who travelled to Indonesia to experience life couldn’t be nice, calm, and not aggressive.

Christ you're insecure. And I called you a low class retard, but I never said that YOU said you were low class. Learn into reading comprehension, dipshit.

Since when does a stem degree or 'herf derf muh income' have any correlation to not being a classless retard? I think you've proven my case nicely.

kek nice cope

I’m not that guy or OP, but I am a guy. How do I start traveling like yourself? Where did you find the time?

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Retardation isn’t contagious. It was just an example. It can be interesting to expose yourself to fringe groups for a little bit. If that isn’t your cup of tea do something else that’s outside your comfort zone, point is to find things that are outside of it, it was just an example. I’ve gone to lectures on paranormal shit and I don’t believe any of it but there are nice people within the group, batshit insane people, it’s better than arguing with retarde on Jow Forums.

If that's the best you've got...

I never said that YOU said that I said I was low class. I said you were implying I was a part of a group that thought themselves to be deep.

Tell me, if you weren’t implying I thought I was deep, what did you mean by calling me “deep”?

Way to take someone I'd be head over heels for and turn her into a tumblrina.

I never said I was calm, but I do seem reasonably more calm when you sit here derailing someone else’s thread to make it about your victim complex

Probably because your friends are being kind and in reality you're a 5/10. So even creeps and losers think they have a shot with you. Not trying to be an ass, but that's most likely what your situation is.

Attractive men will hit on women they see as within their "range". Such is life.

>OP wants to avoid retards
>Encourages others to hang around retards

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Where can I find someone like OP? I dont like people who go to concerts and color their hair and do drugs and stuff. I want a normal life like Mr. Rogers had. Not like what all the weird people I know are doing. I dont want that kind of stuff in my memories and I already regret a lot of the stuff I did do like mushrooms at a renaissance faire and I wish I didnt have to live with that knowing I'm not as good a person as I could have been if I didnt. I hope my future kids dont find out.

Where do you live (europe, us?)? Are you a student or full time worker, in what field?

I’m not derailing her thread, I’m giving her advice. You’re the one derailing it for extrapolating that advising her to go outside of her comfort zone = encouraging her to become a whore. That’s making the thread about your insecurities.

You sound like a mormon

I'm an agnostic moderate libertarian actually. I just have no taste for weirdness.

>knowing I'm not as good a person as I could have been if I didnt.
Forget everything else, I just want to focus on this.

Try to approach your weaknesses and mistakes better. For every mistake you make in life, there IS a pearl inside it, offering you benefit far greater than the mistake caused loss. The only thing you have to do is see it, learn to recognize opportunity. Reflect on this choice you made and try to creatively extrapolate how it made you better, or can make you better. Turn your weaknesses into strengths.

I think it's safe to assume that other mistakes in your life, big and small, are the same way. Learn to take a new and different approach to mistakes. It'll snowball and make your life a hell of a lot easier.

you sound fat

US. 18. Not in college yet

But its still a tarnish on my past. I dont think things like that should be ignored. I dont want to be Steve-O, I want to be Atticus Finch.

As an ugly woman who also seems to draw in borderline-criminal weirdos, I'm fairly certain that it's because you are alone, obviously uncomfortable and very unlikely to have someone standing up for you, so they go all out. And like dogs they can smell your fear, the more afraid of them you are the more they will follow you, or at least attempt to follow you. Thankfully, the usual old drunken hobos are not very good at following anyone with two working legs.

>As an ugly woman
post pics plz

There's a difference between having class and standards and destructive thoughts. You have blended them together. Separate them.

Step 1; you have class, high standards and reputation. People will respect you.

Step 2: BECAUSE of that, you infer that certain things, like doing drugs et al is a behavior you should avoid. (rightly so, as you should!)

Step 3: WHEN a mistake was made, you were disappointed in yourself. But too much. You let the disappointment overcome you until you can't see opportunity in your mistakes anymore. Since you can't draw lemonade from the lemons, you are robbing yourself of valuable lessons in life and allowing toxic thoughts in your mind (or inverse; not allowing the healthier thoughts in your mind). You hide in shame.

So you're making two errors here:
--Screwing up step 3
--Blending these steps together

So separate these things, then work on step 3. Even though you fucked up, blew your perfect reputation, and wish you didn't, there's still a pearl inside that mistake. You need to find it. But not just here... ALL of your mistakes. I know this is probably something you're doing over and over in your life.

Let me put it this way, if you aren't looking back at your past mistakes, and are not overjoyed with the incredible benefit that you learned from them; then you are doing it wrong. Mistakes are magical like that. The benefit they offer is greater than the loss they incur. BUT ONLY IF YOU LOOK FOR IT.

So tl;dr: Improve how you handle mistakes. It doesn't cost your good reputation.

Just get a younger grandfather you big faggot.

My BMI is 20.1, I’ve never even been close to underweight. Funny how you guys think anyone who is out living life must be a fat, uneducated, whore, slob.

Never been close to overweight*.

without pics we cannot help

you sound like a bitch though, as the common factor in all of your woes is you

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Because there are people smart enough to know that you will reject the normal but fat or normal but slightlh ugly people. Better be safe than sorry.

Your post just proves her point that you're aggressive. You can't even debate without name-calling and being condescending

If you want to travel one option is finding a college with an international exchange program. You could find out how to become the best candidate for that. If not for your bachelor’s then for your master’s. If you get to do an exchange program in SEA, you could get roundtrip flights to other SEA countries for like $100 so once you’re there, so you can see so much. They have some good masters programs too, just make sure you read up on how the country treats its students, work/life balance.

A lot of people I know would work 2-3 jobs for the first two months of summer vacation, and/or work part time over the school year, use the third as a month for travel.

I think it’s harder to find jobs with time off in the US but it probably depends on your field. If you move to Europe 4-6 weeks paid vacation is mandatory so aiming for a job there would make travel easy. Ask around, what companies/cities/whatever offer good time off. Even if it’s unpaid, salaries in the US are usually higher than the same job elsewhere. Also if you go for a masters, it’s relatively easy to get a visa if you get accepted into a foreign school. A lot of people don’t realize it’s an option but it’s pretty easy.

There is never the perfect time to travel. Look up flight search engines and go through different dates, different places. Just make sure not to book connecting flights on a separate ticket, you could get stranded. I’d recommend Europe if you haven’t travelled before, it’s safe and not dangerous but still different languages and exotic cultures. Japan is also very safe. Main thing is following through, no one has any idea what they’re doing the first time. It’s part of the fun. Just ask around online on various travel sites and try to be as informed as possible. Make it a priority, make planning the trip (hotels, flights, etc) a hobby for a few months, basic safety, ask questions about your itinerary online to see what more experienced people think.

Cons are for losers both male and female. Also, whatever you do, don't go for traveling meme and learn some useful skill instead. You could impress guys by learning violin or piano.

It wasn’t a calm debate. I encouraged OP to travel and see the world, and that commenter insinuated that I was some whore who had gone to Thailand to go clubbing “fuck Chads” and was full of regrets and wanted other women to suffer like I did. That’s condescending and rude. That’s not someone looking for a debate, that’s someone who goes around insulting others with baseless assumptions. Then she played victim when I gave her a taste of her own medicine, by assuming things about her lifestyle.

There’s a difference between being unnecessarily aggressive and having a backbone.

post a picc of urself

Maybe you're too unattractive to get someone that reaches your standards. Try hitting on a guy you like and see what happens?

Learn to assert your own attraction, or you will not get what you want.
You have as much responsibility to flirt with who you want as those guys have towards flirting with you.
Idk, you could be ugly or autistic yourself.

The person you described sounds very basic

jesus i can smell the weed and hair dye from here