Not here to demonize them for it, I just wonder because I can't really think of any women that care about the "substance" or "character" of a man over how good he is in the sack, how outgoing and confident he is, how tall he is, etc. It seems like these are what they refer to when they say things like "you must bring something to the table".
Sure it's within their right to be this way, I get that. I'm asking so I can know what I need to consider going forward.
People are a package deal. If you have an amazing personality but I am not sexually attracted to you, I'm not going to date you. If I'm sexually attracted to you but you're an uninteresting, awful person, I'm not going to date you.
You should try to do the best you can to improve in all areas - looks, personality, etc.
Tyler Hall
>I can't really think of any women that care about the "substance" or "character" of a man over how good he is in the sack, how outgoing and confident he is, how tall he is, etc. It seems like these are what they refer to when they say things like "you must bring something to the table". That is correct. Now you know, so act accordingly
Brody Cooper
you're exactly the same, i mean, don't you care how nice your woman looks, if she's confident, if she's nice, funny, etc? everyone's looking for something. sometimes people choose the thing they're not looking for, because 'love'. we tell people to bring stuff to the table because too often the op of the thread is a unhygienic fat weeb who expects a 10/10 girl to fall in his lap. you have to show that you care about yourself man
Jacob Anderson
I would be willing to date a woman I'm not insanely physically attracted to if she was easy to talk to, emotionally stable and was genuinely kind and caring.
I could argue the reverse about women. I know a few who admit they are lazy and their life consists of working, then going home to eat, day drink and watch Netflix until they go to bed and repeat the next day. Yet they want to date tall, good looking athletic guys who have all this stuff going for them and refuse to "settle" for anything less. Is it okay for women to have all these expectations but not men?
Joseph Howard
yeah, but 'easy to talk to, emotionally stable, kind' are also checklist things, you know? it's really not different than a checklist for 'hot, good in bed'. the only difference is that one's considered shallow and the other not.
I agree that fat lazy people, regardless of gender, who expect a nice partner are stupid. Usually op here is a dude, so i just generalized. I never said it's ok for women to have expectations. It's true that women are expected to do less than men. it's not fair, but other men enable those lazy netflix sort of women. you just have to find a good one.
Mason Foster
>Do women only really care about looks and status? No. Stick your head outside and you'll see women, even good looking women, dating fucking losers. I struggle to understand how someone could go through life not noticing this.
Noah Hughes
I get that, I'm using examples, and I'm open to just about anything. If you asked what I want in a woman I'd say "someone I like who likes me back". What I like can't be boiled down to one or two things, it's the combination of things and how it makes her, that "package deal" as the above poster said. But I don't want that to be mistaken for me needing someone to bring everything to the table; I realize I'm not a 10/10 turbochad and I don't expect a 10/10 stacey, to put it no other way.
>men enable those lazy netflix women In my experience they really don't, at least not the high value "alpha" men that those women are so keen on. I hate to talk about leagues, but I do think people should be realistic about themselves, their lifestyle and what they have to offer. It's so easy to expect someone else to do and be all these things for you, but it's another story that you actually bring something to the table yourself. I mean this for men and women too, they're kinda lazy and they don't want to "work" on a relationship by working on themselves or being willing to be with a person who is imperfect. Instead, they just want that perfect, amazing somebody who always turns them on and makes them feel good to be in their life, not even thinking if they do the same for them in return.
James Jackson
How are those men losers, exactly?
Carter Perry
i'm just a little confused, i don't think anyone normal expects you to bring literally everything to the table.you know what you're worth and you expect something also worth that, which is good. a few minuses from the checklist won't make anyone immediately write anyone else off. (if the rest seems good, that is). anyway as you grow up, you'll realize that the world is full of stupid people who don't understand logic and are terrified to come to terms with the fact of, they're not that great. that they're lazy, dumb. you have to find like minded people. that's all i can answer for your idea that people should be realistic. i believe that too.
Josiah Scott
>i don't think anyone normal expects you to bring literally everything to the table.you know what you're worth and you expect something also worth that, which is good.
Well, I've met a lot of these people. Always got something to nitpick, and the people they really desire are always out of reach. It seems more like some sort of convenient defense mechanism, where you don't have to get hurt deeply, because you reject all the people who desire you, and pine after people who don't. It's a weird way of making yourself perpetually single. Excuses abound, but people who really want a relationship enough will make it work with someone who has the mutual desire to make it work. But what do I know? I'm just a 26 y.o. virgin.
Isaiah Myers
>Stick your head outside and you'll see women, even good looking women, dating fucking losers. When they're good looking or have rich parents.
Hunter Nelson
Not him but I can immediately think of a loser who is poor cokehead and has hardly any good teeth left and he has a decent looking gf who sticks by him beyond reasons I can comprehend
Hunter Wilson
Now that you mention it (and I really think about it) I've seen a few that made me scratch my head, too. Maybe they have self esteem issues or something and old Cracky swooped in at just the right moment.
Anthony Myers
they care about all those things, and theyre not unrelated. if youre not outgoing or confident or good in the sack i dont know what "substance" or "character" you think you have. kill your ego.
Ryan Sullivan
Work ethic, self sacrifice, intellect, humor.
I can think of a ton of my qualities that aren't tied to my public persona. What's really miserable is someone with nothing behind that mask.
Jason Baker
youre probably not as great as you think you are, women arent that fucking complicated at the end of the day if nobody wants to fuck you its your problem not the rest of the world's
Jeremiah Gomez
It only makes sense. I mean, women (like men) have adapted over thousands of years to survive, pass on their genes, and choose a mate that will help them do that as well. A good lucking man with money and huge dick is the best candidate for that in our society. We’re more primal than we like to think
Connor Powell
>why don't women believe i am a good guy to father their children when i have no money, no friends, no education, no job, no house, no car
>i have substance and character which i can prove by... umm...
It's not saying they shouldn't want those things. It's saying they should be after more than just a handsome face and a big dick. Try reading a little more carefully next time.
Christopher Butler
The thing is that people ascribe far too much positive significance to things like looks, dress, money, sexual experience etc. With those positives come possible negatives. A guy who's extremely smooth and good in the sack has fucked a lot of women and is less likely to commit because he has options. Same for a guy who's incredibly good looking. And none of this speaks to his ability to be there for you when you need somebody most, or whether he has any real emotional connection with you at all. By all means, like what you like. But don't cry about how you can't fine a man because you only pursue the ones that are perfect in every way and lose out to younger, hotter girls. It cuts both directions.