My boyfriend made a sexual advance on me a few days ago and I stopped him and told him I wasn't ready yet...

What type of advance did he make?

We were making out and he was touching me from the outside of my clothes, on my butt and on my breasts. Then he brought his hand down the waistband of my pants and my underwear and started touching me. I was really startled and sort of just said "no, no, I'm not ready," and he stopped immediately but was obviously disappointed.

:(

I dunno maybe just talk to him. I talk to my ex more for christ's sake

Gotta check the oil.

A condom is all you need if you use the proper technique. However, it's also a matter of your own personal comfort. Will you be okay with using a condom, or would you prefer to double up with another method?

If you want to double up, you can try a diaphragm or a cervical cap with spermicide, which won't interfere with the condom and will give you an extra layer of protection.

Talk to him about this, as well, and do what the two of you are comfortable with. You don't want to be worrying about birth control in the middle of sex.

How can I make sure I use the condom correctly? I thought you just put it on as soon as he gets hard and that's it.

I've been in your position before. My boyfriend and I were each other's firsts in everything. We met online and when we met up for the first time we were together for over 2 weeks. We had our first kiss pretty much right after we saw each other for the first time in person and hugged. This progressed until at the very end of those two weeks we had sex for the first time.

If I'm totally honest, everything went faster than I expected and I had weird feelings about it for a while after. Not because we had sex, but because when we did most new things it wasn't on my terms or initiated by me. For instance, the second day while we were kissing my boyfriend without warning stuck his tongue in my mouth for the first time. I didn't dislike it but it was odd and I feel like it took me time to get used to and if I had initiated that myself I would have gotten used to it more quickly. Then of course the first time I touched his dick was because he asked me to, the first time I put it in my mouth was because he kept asking and wouldn't give it up, he was just really persistent, and I caved. And I guess when we finally did have sex he was just really persistent again asking over and over and I fell for the old "just the tip" thing but let him go all the way after that because I was turned on. Basically he was super aggressive with asking me to do all these new things and I really would have been more comfortable with it had he let me be the one to initiate more in the beginning, but I never made that clear to him until after that visit was over. Since then our sex life has been much healthier and I am the one to initiate most of the time.

So OP, I understand being nervous about the process especially discussing it with him, but I believe you will be much happier if you communicate this to him and do this on your terms when and where you feel comfortable. He will be very happy with however it ends up happening as long as you make that clear I promise.

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Next time you two are hanging put ur head in his chest and say “i feel so safe when I’m with you” then he will be happ and then you say let’s go watch some Netflix I heard about this new show. After that u snuggle up to him and say “i want you to take me right here right now” then u come back to Jow Forums and give us upvotes

There's a few things you have to keep in mind.

- First, condoms expire, and also go bad when kept in a car or wallet or pocket. Heat and moisture degrade them and make them more likely to tear. Condoms should be kept in a cool, dark place until use. If in doubt, get new ones. If you see holes or tears, get new ones.

- Second, make sure that any lube that you're using does not degrade the condom. Things like silicon or oil-based lubes can cause problems with certain kinds of condoms. Check the label and make sure. Also, a drop or two of lube into the tip of the condom can help preserve sensation for your bf.

- When putting the condom on, make sure you do so properly. The rolled-up edge should be on the outside. Pinch the tip of the condom to leave some space for the ejaculate, and then roll the condom down.

- When he's pulling out, make sure he holds onto the condom so it doesn't slip off.

- Lastly, tie it up and throw it away after he ejaculates. Use a new condom every time you have sex. And while I don't expect this to happen on your first time, if you end up doing any anal, MAKE SURE that he does not go from anus to vagina without swapping the condom (or cleaning himself with soap if no condom)

I'm sorry you had to go through that, user. That kind of pushiness is not appropriate.

Always laugh really hard at that picture lol.

Also, yeah, we've been together for several months. We've both touched each other through the outside of our clothes but I think it's time for us to go further. At least, it doesn't seem rushed, not to me. And he's made his interest obvious.

I'll just do my best to communicate with him and make sure that we do it however's best for both of us.

Thanks for the tips. Also, yeah, a no on anal. At least for the foreseeable future.

No, for sure it was inappropriate and annoying but I understand why it happened. We were both incredibly sexually frustrated 20-something virgins who had been dating and sharing lewd pictures and messages and touching ourselves together over video chat for 6 months before this meeting, so I know for a fact he was horny as fuck basically the entire time and I was definitely a bit of a pushover. I know he is to blame for most of it but it was just that kind of a situation, and we've definitely had time and conversations to reflect and accept and learn, this was well over a year ago now. And I still seriously treasure those memories because I could tell how much he wanted me and wanted to make me feel good but of course he didn't know anything at the time either. Also the first time felt pretty damn awesome desu and it still felt very special so I was glad that I did it. I just had these lingering feelings because I didn't really feel like it was on my terms. But I appreciate the empathy and concern, it's also definitely gotten better now and I feel good about it.

Communication is most definitely key. Good luck user! And yes, figure out the birth control method thing well beforehand because nothing kills the mood like worrying about accidental pregnancy, trust me.

I'm glad you worked stuff out!

>Communication is most definitely key.
OP, take this as gospel. Talk and figure out things beforehand. It might feel awkward but you want to make sure you're on the same page. You'll be glad you did.