Can't keep interest

This is exactly what my girlfriend did, and when she met me she said “I’m done!” We’ve been together 3 years now and are moving into our first house next week, where I will more than likely propose to her. And don’t get me wrong: aside from being horribly awkward and nerdy, when the clothes come off she’s straight up model quality. But, she’s very discerning and after 3 years I have yet to see her make a mistake. You just gotta wait and strike when you really feel the time is right.

>I can't continue
So why exactly you cant go on 3rd date?

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Oh.. So she settle down with you?

>34 interactions to 7 actual dates.
To be completely correct: 34 promised dates. I have had a lot more interactions that just led nowhere.
>Where did you meet them? On a dating app?
Only a small handful on dating apps. Most through Twitter through mutual connections, where we at some point started to get to dating conversations.
>Are you ugly?
No clue. I'm thin, probably not exactly pretty though, as I dont do much in terms of make up or creams and whatnot.
>Or do you find them stupid maybe? I understand the boring part, but finding them boring just via one or two dates is a bit judgemental no?
It's not boring... I dont think it is stupidity either. I mean, it could be more exciting I guess, but that's definitely not the main reason it dies out.

And if it is because I am somehow judgemental, then I dont notice it. I never feel like they are the problem.
>Maybe you just didnt find someone compatible yet, did these guy had anything common witn you?
6 of them had plenty, 1 was way off from how I am. None of them seemed to click. I guess it could just be bad luck, but when so many people bail at the last minute, I never really get the chance to actually spend time with a lot of them.

I can, and I have. The most was 4, but it just feels pointless, like I am wasting their time. There is nothing, I have no real desire to be there with them, the last i want is to go home with him, and even the thought of a kiss almost feels repulsive to me. I dont find it fair to go on more dates as if this might change, when even forcing it yields no results.

Do you consider yourself healthy?
I wonder if you have some sort of shit reception to pheromones.

I think you have some sort of disney movie illness where you imagine prince on white horse arriving and saving you from femceldom.

The reality isnt what you imagined it to be. Keep meeting more men and see what will happen. You can always buy a cat once you hit age 30 anyway.

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>I can, and I have. The most was 4, but it just feels pointless, like I am wasting their time. There is nothing, I have no real desire to be there with them, the last i want is to go home with him, and even the thought of a kiss almost feels repulsive to me. I dont find it fair to go on more dates as if this might change, when even forcing it yields no results.
It's a pretty well known fact that women fall in love far far slower than men. Maybe you could just try to persist a bit longer with someone and see if anything develops.

Ok, so do you get approached most of the time or you do the approaching?

Did you ever post a picture on soc or some place to get rated? I mean sure they are not really objective but they are not that off the ball.

Maybe they thought they couldnt have sex with you and bailed because pf that? Do you think they approach you with sex in mind and flake cause they understand they are not getting it?

I think this is an interesting phenomena we have here. You got my curiosity OP, how are your regular friendships? Does similar getting bored from a person thing happen there as well?

>chance for infertility 100% at 50+
>0% chance of pregnancy

Hmmmmmmmm

Many, many more dates OP and same thing would happen but I finally went out with a guy that didn't get all attached or clingy or assume it was going somewhere or told me they liked me. I realized I liked them until it was obvious they really liked me and I either ran in fear or lost interest.

So, this one guy was polite and nice and all around awesome but he treated every girl the same way and he did me even after 3 dates. Like what in hell was wrong with me. He kissed me but that was it. Nothing more and it made me crazy, I began to think of him constantly, I got jealous when he talked to other girls, HE EVEN WENT ON A DATE with another girl, errrrrrrrrr. So, I asked him over and cooked dinner for him and gave IT to him. GOD, was I ever missing out and didn't know it. Anyway, I locked that guy down tight Yeah

I think I'm alright...? I have a few allergies, but nothing excessive.

Oh God, I hope not... it would make some kind of sense I guess, but that would be really bad. I guess that would be a psychologist...?

Also allergic to cats, so i can't even get that.

I could try, I just felt awful after date 4, for him. He was clearly into this, and he was getting more and more happy about the way things were going, while I was faking my way through it, hoping I could fake it till I made it. It just felt awful knowing I was leading him on, because it felt like I was staring up a mountain I would have to force myself to cross.

Have you considered trying to get a date with a girl?

Legitimate question. This thread just sorta sounds like someone who doesn't have a shred of heterosexuality, but manages to convince yourself that you should be feeling some sort of cartoon love, that will never be real, anyway.

Man, you’re fucking crazy

>So, this one guy was polite and nice and all around awesome but he treated every girl the same way and he did me even after 3 dates. Like what in hell was wrong with me. He kissed me but that was it. Nothing more and it made me crazy, I began to think of him constantly, I got jealous when he talked to other girls, HE EVEN WENT ON A DATE with another girl, errrrrrrrrr. So, I asked him over and cooked dinner for him and gave IT to him. GOD, was I ever missing out and didn't know it. Anyway, I locked that guy down tight Yeah
This sounds like someone larping as a girl based on some pick up artist video.

>Ok, so do you get approached most of the time or you do the approaching?
Bit of both. I approached 2 of the 7 I actually ended up dating.
>Did you ever post a picture on soc or some place to get rated? I mean sure they are not really objective but they are not that off the ball.
I guess I could try, but I don't really have a picture of myself on hand I could use. I dont normally like to post my picture anywhere.
>Maybe they thought they couldnt have sex with you and bailed because pf that? Do you think they approach you with sex in mind and flake cause they understand they are not getting it?
Not sure how they would know, but I'll be honest, the chance of sex was probably 0 anyway.
>I think this is an interesting phenomena we have here. You got my curiosity OP, how are your regular friendships? Does similar getting bored from a person thing happen there as well?
No, I work just fine with friends, of both genders, even. I can keep quote a bit of connections going at once, which is part of why this feels so weird.

You can't get pregnant after menopause...?

Okay... I dont think I'd want to compete for a guy. If he doesn't know who he wants, and I have to help him decide, I think I'd rather skip, to be completely honest.

Ok 2 out of 7, thats better than most women.

You dont have to post picture here or even link, just wanted if we had some data to use. I can drop a throwaway email if you want? Or you candowhat i do. Just post a picture in a rate thread and sort of get lost in the crowd. Noone you know will be there most likely, the thread will be gone in a few days at most anyway.

You might have hinted you were a vrigin, or you didnt want sex somehow. That might turn off some guys, were you phsyically distant, did you reject when they tried to advance via kissing or hugging ot sth?

Ok so you only feel distant with people you actually are dating? Thats interestingif thats the case. Maybe the pretence is putting you off? You might be aromantic?

What would be your ideal relationship would look like? Maybe you are just not feeling it because real life doesnt fit that?

Also, all cat allergic people u it! I mean i love the cute little things but still..

Whats really crazy about me? Guys that tried to hard or fell to fast either scared me (he probably is possessive or stalker out of desperation or oh, shit he wants a relationship I may not be ready for a relationship) or it was just too easy and not mystery or puzzle to solve.

The guy I lost it on didn't move too fast or try too hard and knew if he did it could scare me away. Totally the opposite of dozens of other guys I dated.

It reaches zero far before 50.

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>Just post a picture in a rate thread and sort of get lost in the crowd. Noone you know will be there most likely, the thread will be gone in a few days at most anyway.
Hmm, might try this later.. I am really not good at taking photos of myself, so it'll probably look like garbage.

I dont feel like I'm physically distant. I hug people fairly often (though that's common culture here), but I have avoided kisses.. I just get this weird feeling of disgust when they go for it, and I have no idea why. It's like thought of dating them makes me ill, which makes no sense when I days prior could have felt madly in love with them.

>What would be your ideal relationship would look like? Maybe you are just not feeling it because real life doesnt fit that?
I'm not even sure at this point. Like, I feel like the ideal would be the usual "husband and 2 kids in a nice house", but I'm honestly not even sure if that's a legitimate picture anymore. I feel like as soon as I get closer to it, it just starts to blur.

Ok so not from USA? Hugging being the common greeting here as well(eurofag here)

If you have avoided kisses, it might be a reason the guys start to flake after the initial dates. They might feel you are holding out on them or that the relationship is not going anywhere. You might be ghermophobic ?

About the idea of dating them makes you ill. Do you spot faults in them? Like noticing sth small that sets you off, even unkowingly. Thats a case for me when it comes to horoscopes sometimes, no matter who they are, when they say "oh i am a leo" i just loose massive interest.

You mignt be doing that even unconsciously like i said. Also, does the feeling of love die right after the date? Did you had anybody where it didnt afger the first date? Or did the feelings started to get lost after the first date always.

About the ideal, no white picket fence? Lol.

Maybe you just cant fit the guy into the picture, you might have to familiarise yourself with the idea of having a relationship like that sadly. Maybe you will have an unconventional thing, doesnt mean you will not be happy. Try to be comfortable with that idea..

>through Twitter
How the hell do you meet someone on Twitter
Isnt that for yelling at celebrities and politicians

>Like, I feel like the ideal would be the usual "husband and 2 kids in a nice house", but I'm honestly not even sure if that's a legitimate picture anymore. I feel like as soon as I get closer to it, it just starts to blur.
If the men you're dating look like they'd never fit that image, no wonder you'd lose interest.

From skimming the thread it sounds like you have intimacy issues and are unable to connect with anyone well on an emotional level. If you wanted to be with someone you would have found someone who is willing to be with you. Instead you have a myriad reasons why you can't.

>feelings gone after 1 or 2 dates
you didn't even give it a chance to get to know them in any way so you shouldn't complain

Don't ignore me!

Your expectations are all kinds of fucked up. You're waiting to get struck by lightning when you're *supposed* to just be evaluating them as a person while you try to have a good time together.

Falling in love isn't a line of cocaine. It sneaks up on you, and you only realize it's happened after the fact.

You're basically pissing and moaning about the fact that you're more or less emotionally stable, instead of being a sucker who immediately slides into infatuation at the first preliminary sign of compatibility.

Sorry you're not mentally a retarded teenager, I guess, but if you choose to live with that fact you just might realize you end up better off for it.

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Yeah, Euro as well.
>ghermophobic
Definitely not. Some of my hobbies include hiking, I definitely don't have a problem with this.
>About the idea of dating them makes you ill. Do you spot faults in them? Like noticing sth small that sets you off, even unkowingly.
Legit haven't noticed anything. I'm not even sure what to look for, either.

>Also, does the feeling of love die right after the date? Did you had anybody where it didnt afger the first date? Or did the feelings started to get lost after the first date always.
Sometimes it is already after the first, most of them was after the second. More time didn't help.

Most of my family and friends use it, and mostly someone just sends me a private message and we start chatting.

The odd thing is, they do. It's part of why I don't get how i can't keep it going. I just burn through the emotions, and then I got nothing, even if I can visualise it.

Could be...? Is that a psychologist I should seek out, or is there some therapist better suited for that?

Problem is exactly the fact that I start out strong when I know I want to date them (it's not like date is the first point of contact), and then it just drops.

>You're waiting to get struck by lightning when you're *supposed* to just be evaluating them as a person while you try to have a good time together.
But I do that. It just has the opposite effect of what I feel like it should.

I can literally sit through a second date getting a clearer and clearer picture of how they would fit in, and somehow it does nothing to remove the feeling if not wanting to proceed at all with it. It isn't even connected, at least not to an obvious degree. Trust me, I've spent a lot of time considering if this is just me being afraid of commitment, but it is really not. On the contrary, I am afraid of it NOT being a proper commitment.
>You're basically pissing and moaning about the fact that you're more or less emotionally stable, instead of being a sucker who immediately slides into infatuation at the first preliminary sign of compatibility
But.. that is literally what happens. And then it drops off, hard, and it gets impossible to even find a desire to kiss with him.

I guess I'll have to just keep trying and see some professional help...

Sorry, I didn't intend to ignore it, I just don't know what to say to this. I've not felt real attraction to any of my friends, so I dont see why this would... can't say I've tried, but I kinda feel like I would have an idea of my orientation, you know?

Dating can feel mechanical and impersonal which will put you off anyone. Meeting people in neutral settings like work/classes might feel more natural and less forced

>work/classes
I'm out of school, and isn't work relationships like... incredibly bad?

Only if you work directly with them or adjacent.
If things don't work out it will be awkward for a few days but being adults you'll both get over it

I hope I don't come off too brash but it sounds like you might be gay

Eurofag here,

Look user, i think we explored a good amount of possible reasons in this thread. And i think at this point the only thing i can say is the following,

>I think you create an imaginary relationship in your head, something that is impossible. You have this high fantasy of the perfect relationship, but of course nobody and no relationship is perfect so the fantasy crumbles really fast. So you need to rethink and reorient yourself about what a relationship is and how should it work. Keep what you expect within bounds of reality so your potential partner will not dissapoint you.

Other than that i genuinely dont know how to help you. I suggest talking to some mental health professional if this is truly bothering you. But other than it might be better if you just keep on keeping on. Go on dates, meet new people and see what happens.

Hope it works out for you, you seem like a nice person who has their feeling of love fade quite fast. Good luck..

Damnit.. I guess it can't hurt to try, but that just seems... wrong somehow.