I am 18 years old and recently I'm feeling suicidal. I just see nothing worth living for. I am fairly intelligent and have always excelled academically, but i just don't see a future with that in my country. I got Jow Forums, nothing too much but a lot of people have been complimenting me. I have major body issues tho. I have a few true friends that i hang out with (one just called me 15 mins ago to take a walk with him bc he has a pause from musical school). And i have a few online friends i talk to every day.
I don't really have problems getting girls, but i never get any because when i try i succeed, it's just that i fap one out, lose any interest and cut ties. I have lost my virginity at 16 yo, but it wasn't enjoyable at all so now I don't even try to pursue sex.I lost motivation to go to the gym. My family isn't the same ever since my parents divorced, but it's because my dad got in prison for beating my mom. I am skipping classes and whole days of school (im going to seafarer school) because i just don't have any ambitions and plans with my life. My mom recognises im tearing apart and she speaks with me sometimes but doesn't seem to get it sometimes ("Why didn't you go to school today? You told me you were nauseous!!") Like she doesn't make a connection. I live day to day and don't enjoy life at all. Should i go see a therapist? Does it get better? I have a very nihilistic outlook on life but i don't really care, I don't care if i die tomorrow honestly. My dad said i should get a gf but im scarred for life seeing my mom's and dad's relationship as a kid, and i also don't talk to any women irl and have problems developing feeling for women. Help (sorry for the long post)
Help
>guy with depression sees nothing worth living for
Wow, big surprise.
Yeah but I'm not a typical doomer/depressed guy, I actually have some things going for me
Your problems are existential in nature, you seem to lack goals and a sense of meaning in pursuing said goals.
Does your sense of beauty still work? Not talking about girls, but aesthetics and art?
Sketch a few things that just come to mind or portray your feelings.
Watch some philosophically interesting movies, one that doesn't necessarily interest you but sparks a sense of ... anomaly I'd guess?
What got me in my first depression was my assumptions about myself disproved/ falsified. I was not as intelligent as a I thought or at least couldn't solve what I thought stood exemplary for the kind of things my mind had to deal with in order to also make the right choices on a philosophical level
I hope I somewhat get across what I am trying to say.
I saw no future in which I could justify my action or see them as meaningful since an integral part in understanding... what being human / life ist about was stripped from me. I might still be a competent traitsman, but I'd feel purposeless as a result
But I discovered that I just had to reignite the curiosity that guided self reflection and fueled my conscience.
So please take a piece of paper and some pens and sketch, but am to be as artistic as you can be and precise, how you are feeling. And Ask what, regardless of possibilities, would be necessary for me to get out of the bed in the morning and feel a need to be productive.
Also , what is wrong in your country? When you are depressed you feel like everything is pointing towards your abysmall state and the grotesqueness of it all.
Every uneven part of the wall, the slightly asymmetric windows,the dirt my shoes brought in, the state of the sidewalk pavement , poorly designed advertisements , and flawed broken cars.
Everything reminded me or seemed to indicate that the pursuit of anything is worthless in this world as everything is treated bad and human creation flawed to begin with , almost unable to be aesthetically pleasing.
Everything I saw put me down as my sense of comfort in any situation degraded. Is this what you are feeling?
Pls answer user.
OP here
Well i live in Croatia, and all u can do to make money is tourism/navigation, or you can get a good college degree and go to Germany, US, Australia, Canada, Ireland etc. And i don't think i can do that, plus i think trades are more useful. I wish i was handy, not intelligent. And no, I do not exactly feel that, but i hate seeing suffering on people. I particularly hate advertisements because they are so goddamn fucking fake and portraying some normie shit that "this device will make you look cool" "you don't need to work hard, take this pill!!" "We have everything you need!". I hate how disconnected from nature we became. I hate how men became so effeminated. Furthermore, i find the existence on this life very boring. For that reason, i love fantasic worlds like Tolkien's LoTR and Silmalirion, and Avatar: the Last Airbender, because they're so much different from this shit existence where nothing magical happens. However, after rewatching these shows i become slightly depressed that i have to return to my old life. I adore the starry sky, the sunsets and the moon's reflection on the water, but i hate how our lives have commercialized. I don't want a life like that
Lol i really fucking suck at drawing, i draw like a 10 year old
Commercialize , so do you care about all the advertisements? I mean being do identify exaggerations and falsehoods makes them pretty harmless in my eyes.
You have your own life and don't have to carry the burden of feeling responsible for others uninformed decisions, when it comes to buying articles.
Besides, how would you advertise something? Not everyone feel the same or even perceived the same so some might even feel delighted upon seeing enterprises compete, just like others hate em.
Others worlds huh. I think one huge factor is that they make you thi k your path to take is played out. Your personal quest seems more defined, be it through the imposed narrative , or your then otherworldly knowledge.
Imagine a middle age world. You'd have no immediate mission besides surviving.
Familiar with the isekai theme? What would another person do incarnated in your world? It's hard, takes actually effort besides fantasy, but being a protagonist of some intricate world is hard.
... I need to thi k some more...
Reliable, competent, honest, self-reliant people are always in demand and have tons of opportunities I'm the world, so what, even if vague, narrative have you envisioned for your life?
1st world problems the thread.fucking kys please. what are you even whining about you little brat
It's hard to actually fully think of another reality.
Even in one of these fantasy worlds you'd be faced with the same problems: delay between narrative progressions , work and setbacks, and tons of literature and stories that belong to that world, which point to yet another world ; in which life seems ordered, almost guided by a mission to fulfill.
It's our minds that process actual events and package them as such. narratives are depictions of proper and adapted behavior in the face of dangers and the general un known.
This is the world described by such stories, just with elements substituted for their mythological compelling counterparts.
An invoice for a dragon, a friend for a skilled dwarf with some backstory etc. Just all unnecessary anduninteresting parts are omitted
It's easy with sufficient exposure to fool our minds and have us think that that's how an actual reality could be.
But you can life to tell a fantastic story about your progression as a person and how you dealt with unpleasant events.
Brate dodaj me na discordu
Wtf. If these issues hurt him he's well entitled to feel so. About actions to take might be argued, but apparently his situation poses a problem for him.
Trying to make an absolute judgement about someone's "weighted " pain is reductionist and foolish, arrogant.
Tag?
But there's nothing much i can do for the world. I'm just an average joe, with nothing to offer to the world
I witnessed some fucked up shit as a kid,and you don't know my full story so please, go troll somewhere else
we all are, dipshit, no one is born special
I know, i was replying to the user telling me i can make something beautiful out of my life.
I wanna be somebody
Make the best out of your life. Or don't, its the same. We all return to the abyss that is not existing after we die
This is the dumbest argument. You do not choose to be depressed your unconscious will make you depressed whether you want it to or not. You need to learn to find peace with the unconscious self in order to truly conquer depression. The first step is acknowledging the source of the problem no matter how small. Denying it like you suggest only makes a person feel worse and worse as the unconscious overtakes their mind.
That's not true user you have something to offer you just haven't found it yet. And maybe it isn't something you get rich off of but that doesn't necessarily matter. Just let go of traditional views of value for now and try understanding why you feel so bad. It sounds like you had a rough childhood you mentioned your mom and dad's relationship being bad. Maybe the source of these feelings comes from childhood, it is extremely common in fact almost everyone has some kind of childhood trauma they haven't resolved. A lot of your views and attitudes get shaped in those early years maybe you need to go back and see what you find. And really try to be honest with yourself about how it felt back then.
I was actually much happier as a child. The shock for me is also that i was a late bloomer, and i started puberty at around 15 y/o, so people would assume im much younger. I grew to 6" and got Jow Forums and now suddenly people talk to me almost like an adult and its just a huge change. I also fear adulthood and as much as I can't wait to become independent, im scared of it
>I was actually much happier as a child.
Why? What made you feel happier?
>I also fear adulthood and as much as I can't wait to become independent, im scared of it
I understand that, being an adult is hard but it doesn't have to be bad. I've actually found that the real scary thing about adulthood is that most adults are really just large children. Makes them hard to deal with sometimes especially when they have more control than you.
They all do. They aren't NPCs or a meme.
Anyway, psychadelics my dude. Do a fuck tonne of research on how to do it right and take yourself on a shrooms trip.
Idk man it seems to be just sweeping the real issues under the rag. I don't see how psychedelics could help since it's just getting hallucinations by altering your brain chemistry for a bit
I don't know, I didn't worry about so much things i guess. I wasn't as picky with friends and i was much more unaware of everything
I don't know being picky isn't bad you don't want to be friends with people that have an unhealthy mindset. Also does being unaware really feel better? I usually feel shitty when I run into a moment where I realize I know less than I thought and look like an ass. I know what you mean though being a child felt like you didn't have to worry as much about life since your parents just took care of you but maybe they didn't as much as you might think if you turned out depressed.
idi pecaj ribe, i nemoj trost elektriku na vake gluposti sunce ti jebem xD
Hahhahhahahahaha kakve zene mogu te samo sjebat
They for real did, they never neglected me. I do feel like i need more love in my life and i very much crave some physical affection/intimacy
you see, you only think that because you arent fully knowledgeable about it. even if the visions have no inherent meaning, the shit you see is often related to how you are feeling, and if you are feeling shit, your gonna see a personification of it whether you like it or not. Psychs are practically the only drug that can improve someones mentality, just gotta be willing to come in with an open non biased mindset
Your father is right, get a girlfriend. You need someone to love for a bit and help you set your life straight. It would be good for you to expand your views on relationships beyond your troubled family life
You've become apathetic to life due to your own chosen habits. Stop making excuses and fix them - the most therapy does is make suggestions for what you do but you need to choose to change to begin with. It's time for you to be a man, a better one than you've been given an example of. What a "better man" is, that's a question you need to leave for yourself but which you need to follow.
Which ones would you recommend to someone who has never even smoked weed?
Idk isn't the thing that you shouldn't enter relationships before you are alright with yourself and of a clear mind?
Alright several things:
First off, with no hope there is no point to living. Learn to aspire. Frankly, you just need to think about what you like to do, or what makes you happy, and focus on it.
If you don't feel like you have anything that you're happy with, being fit and intelligent, you might just be stupid bro.
I'm unfit, only somewhat intelligent, and generally lacking in most aspects, but I managed to find a way to have hope for the future. It's hard but entirely doable for everyone.
I've been very suicidal before, and if you feel anywhere near how i felt, there is another side to life that you will miss dearly.
You will make it OP. I know you have what it takes.
First, thanks for your kind words brother. Second, i have nothing much to do with my intelligence, and i have severe body image issues, so eh. The good thing is that my relatives found out im depressed and now they are all contacting me and trying to make me feel better. I love my family and they're the reason why i didn't off myself yet
yeah drugs are the answer for sure, you fucking joe rogan retards are a waste of oxygen
Is this really Jow Forums or am i lost? Thank you brother
Kek
Dude that sucks with your dad. I would say give a therapist a chance. It feels good to talk about things and how you feel if it's with the right person. Some of them suck but if you find one that's good it can be worth it. Anyway you change so much between 18 and 25, don't give up yet, your best years are probably ahead of you. As someone who was depressed and nihilistic at 18 my best years sure as hell hadn't happened by then.
Well yeah but he's a different person now, he's been diagnosed with some stuff but he's making a change. And thank you, all you guys made me regain some hope for life
Being your age can be very hard. I was in a similar position and i can say it gets better.
It wont be easy but nothing worth while is.
Try look after yourself, Be grateful for what you do have.
Learn as much as you can do about anything your interested in. There is so much to learn.