How long is it acceptable to feel like shit over a breakup before it starts to become pathetic...

this is the correct answer.
If you are past the length of the relationship and still not over her, it's probably your fault for doing these big break up no nos:
>Checking her social media
>looking at pics of her
>texting her
>thinking about her
>remembering times you had sex
>thinking about her daily when you're bored or lonely
My last breakup took me a while to get over, but we were together for five years. I got over at as soon as I got a new gf, which was three months after.

1 month for every year you were together.

Beyond that you're being a bitch.

Drink some alcohol, and talk to some girls. And go outside. Do stuff.

Occupying myself is easy enough, it's just the times when I'm left to my thoughts that are the hardest. Video games, friends, and alcohol are all dandy but when I'm at work or driving the mind tends to wander.

It depends on how attached you were to your ex, in my honest opinion. Also how you're managing to move on. Sometimes is even harder, depending on what circumstances lead on the break up.

Taking me as example, I broke up 2 months ago and I still can't distinguish if I still love him & should reach him out or it should really be over.

Sometimes I caught myself thinking how far my love (a genuine feeling of love) should stand strong, since his relationship with the family is very complicated. I have a very strong maternal instinct and I've tried to help him to the fullest, from being at his side in moments of anxiety crisis to (at least attempting to) pleasing his mother, so that she wouldn't overburden him.

Yet I think that the real reason for it all were caused by my ego problems, such as not being able to control his attitudes that I interpret as toxic, like this job that makes him unhappy and sacrificing himself for a negligent family, reckoning that my duty as a partner should be supporting him through the mishaps of life.

At the same time I also think that it would impoverish my ego to validate this relationship...So I should let it die, for the best.

See, user? It's hella complicated.

Venting aside, best thing is to calculate how the relationship affects you in an overall, that done, keep your mind busy working on yourself.

>Guys never fully recover girls cant but it hit them harder

wut

I don't know, user. We were together for almost two years and talked about marriage and kids. I even made up blueprints for our kitchen because we both loved cooking together.

She moved on a week later to another guy that she probably had lined up.

I fucked around a bit with other girls because I didn't want the girl who shit on my heart to be the last girl I kissed or shared a bed with while she was with another guy.

But I still miss her every day. It hasn't gotten any less painful, it just gets easier to push it down.

It's been just five months since we've separated and some days I still need to sit in the shower and cry my eyes out. I'm not ashamed of it, but I wish it would stop.

>met in 2008, dated immediately
>was cheated on in 2011, took her back
>dumped in mid 2012
>2013 denialed it, banged thots
>2014 wouldnt consider another girl
>2015 still drunkenly messaging
>2016 mostly forget, have new gf
>2017 get married, mostly forget, remember the feel
>2018 divorced, hate women
>2019, remember having sex with all previous women to masturbate, wouldn't take any of them back.
It's an on and off sort of feel for me user, like an acid trip, love comes in waves.

Every situation is different, it strongly depends on the circumstances. The more you invested yourself in her/him, the longer you’ll suffer. It ain’t a pretty sight seeing a grown ass man crying at night, but that’s life.

Speaking for men: I don’t think anyone really recovers from it, on the condition that the relationship was an actual love based one. Some thoughts and residual emotions will keep lingering in your head and heart.

My advice: move further with daily life, stop looking for a replacement and accept yourself as who/what you are (not).

Good luck !

Same. Finally starting to be ok with it because I feel I've learned something valuable.

How old are you? Please don't tell me you're 30+ and still have a oneitis

It's been 3 months since I split with my ex, from a 10 year relationship. We were each others first everything, and best friends.

She emotionally cheated on me then eventually replaced me. He moved in 2 weeks after I left and valentines day is their anniversary.

I remember wanting to die but I'm doing better.

I mostly just miss the person that was my best friend.

Dating sucks.

How do you get diviorced after a year? Seems like you’re the common denominator.

Why were you dating someone for 10 years without marrying them? She prolly felt like it was going nowhere. Suprised she didn’t leave earlier.

You'll find someone so much better. Try not to waste your energy on someone who clearly didn't care about you as much as you cared about them

Neither of us cared for it. We were on the same page.

>oneitis
You realize no one actually has a oneitis? I’m pretty sure internet teenagers invented this term to project their angst.

Then I guess you were obviously on the same page for having it end eventually.

Thank you. I keep telling myself that but it doesn't help the pain. I wanted to stay friends but it hurt too much when we talked and she'd bring up how well she was doing, so im going no contact for a year.

I'll be doing completely fine then a single sad twinge will set me off and I'll cry my eyes out at work.

I'm hoping time fixes it.

Marriage is not the end goal for everyone.

My uncle has been with his wife for 30 years and not married. They just love each other and think that's enough.

>I wanted to stay friends

Yeah that's a terrible idea. If you really want to move on and make the pain go away, you have to cut all contact. Essentially erase her from everything. No calls, texts, social media stalking, nothing. I had to the same when I needed to break up with my gf of 5 years. I went through a long period where I thought I would never find anyone as good. But I did and she's better. You will too.

>wife
>not married
Not legally married? Because it sounds like they are married if they are husband and wife.

I know. I just don't know if I can do it forever. We shared almost everything. Attached at the hip since high school. Went through so much. Stuck with her through depression, cutting, suicide attempts. I lost a partner but I don't want to lose a friend forever.

I'm going a year NC and then seeing how I feel, I guess.

How long was that period of time? Because I don’t think it’s worth it if that period of time is 10 years, but it might be worth it if it’s like 2-3 years or something.

oops, I meant s/o. im tired

You poor bastard. You're just setting yourself up for massive heartbreak down the road. You can tell yourself all that bullshit about not losing a friend, but none of that will save you having to see or hear about how she's so happy with the other dude that's fucking her brains out daily. Trust me on this. No amount of time will make that okay to go back to. You have to move on and meet new people, make new friends, fuck new women. May God have mercy on your soul if you don't

My gf broke up with me because she wanted to go back to her ex. She wanted to stay friends and then acted upset when I didn't. I don't know how you can be so sociopathic that you can't understand why the person whose heart you shattered doesn't want anything to do with you.

Based