I feel like I'm pretty much dead inside.
What can I do, apart from offing myself?
Mors interna
Create something beautiful. Paint a picture, draw a girl's face, learn a new piece of music, write something worth reading.
Being sad, angsty and hopeless is far worse than feeling empty. Emptiness is relieving. What are you feeling exactly?
I used to draw up to a few years ago, but it became frustrating when I realized I was nowhere as good as I thought I was. Sometimes I write short poems, but I have little content to put in them: it's mostly about my feelings.
>What are you feeling exactly?
I feel like almost nothing brings me any kind of joy, or sparks any real interest (except for music, as in listening to it; I can't really play any instrument). My interest rarely goes beyond thinking "That's nice", when – for example – I see a painting, or a sculpture, or a particular architectural design. I have this feeling they could (should?) be more compelling experiences.
Bump
Find a hobby
Do LSD / acid
Go see psychologist
>Find a hobby
I'm not sure what I could do. I mean, for example, the idea of learning how to dance doesn't seem bad, but I'm socially awkward and self-conscious about my body (although I've started, if only in an amateurish way, to work on that).
>Do LSD / acid
Nah, man. I'm really curious as to what one of those trips feels like, but I can get anxious enough using weed that I would be almost surely in for a bad trip.
>Go see psychologist
I already do. Have been for a couple of years. What she tells me the most is to work on my insecurities, and that everything else comes after that.
Also, your pic seems to imply that one just needs to say to himself "I'm happy" in order to actually become it.
>needs to say to himself "I'm happy"
Thats exactly how it works. Look into mirror, smile at yourself and say: i am happy and confident!
Repeat this for few weeks and you will be happy. Autosuggestion is very real and powerfull tool. And now go sign for the dancing classes.
>Look into mirror, smile at yourself and say: i am happy and confident!
I can't help feeling this equals bullshitting yourself.
Believe it or not, but happiness is a state of mind you yourself are responsible for.
If you arent willing to even try the simpliest thing i suggested, then feel free to remain depressed forever. Its your life, your choice.
>Believe it or not, but happiness is a state of mind you yourself are responsible for.
I can believe that. I'm just having a hard time believing it's actually as simple as you've described it, but what do I know?
What do you have to lose by trying what i said? You can always return and make a thread about how useless /adv is if it wont work.
Personally, I've come to believe that it doesn't end once I'm dead. I'll wind up back in existence in some way or another. It seems to be in my best interest to make the world better for future self as much as possible. Essentially, life is an opportunity to make things right. There is a lot of evil around that needs purging.
>What do you have to lose by trying what i said?
Nothing much, I suppose. Depending – assuming it works – on how long it takes to start working on me, I might have to feel dumb for a few weeks, at worst.
You're right. I have a feeling might be not exactly pertinent to the thread, but I might be wrong.
It would help if I knew wtf you do that makes you sad.
But generally speaking, you wouldn't feel sad if you had a buttload of shit to do.
Plus, invest on yourself. Take a day on the week to be a "me day".
>you wouldn't feel sad if you had a buttload of shit to do.
I'm guessing you mean that in that buttload of shit to do there should be enjoyable things (maybe not exclusively, but I feel there should be some). Thing is, I really don't have that any things to choose from. My experience is limited, and I haven't found things I enjoy doing. Things usually seem like a chore (e.g. learning to play the guitar, like I've been trying; actually, learning new things in general is a bit of a hassle). Also, I'm kinda scared to try new things because of fear of failure.
>invest on yourself.
What do you mean by that?
Just do anything at all, even if you don't like them. I promisse you it will be better than just standing in a corner feeling pity for things you aren't.
Worst case scenario, you stop doing it and jump to other things. At the very least you'll get to get out and do new things, maybe even chat with people passing by.
And by "invest in yourself" I mean exactly what I said after that: pick one day of the week and it's gonna be your "me day". On that day you'll do shit you like, but do it outside. Fuck go to a coffee shop and stay there for 2 hours just sipping coffee. That's basically what I do o my day off (because I do love goddamn coffee).
Right now you are a lumpy sad hunk of metal. Impure, no shape and useless.
But apply heat and pressure and you can become a sword.
>Just do anything at all
I admit I'm scared of putting myself out there. I'm not comfortable with myself.
>pick one day of the week [...] on that day you'll do shit you like
I'll have to find out what I like doing before I can do that, though.
Trust me, you'll want to do something different when you do the other things you don't necessarily like. That's what you'll do on your day off.
About your fear, it's the kind of fear that only lasts if you abstain from doing precisely that which you fear.
Once you apply to a course, find a job or just go dicking around you'll see it's literally nothing.
>you'll want to do something different when you do the other things you don't necessarily like
I often do, but I lack actual likable things to do. It's not like I can really say "Can't wait to go do X".
>your fear [..] only lasts if you abstain from doing precisely that which you fear.
I'll try to remember that. It's pretty hard to do so when I start being scared.
C'mon there has to be something you'd want to do.
I gather you might restrain yourself because of the fear, but stop thinking of the "how to" for a sec and think of the end result you want from that.
Like I dunno, you want a game, or maybe just browse through a collection of CDs is already nice to do. Just do that and fuck the rest of the world, it already fucked you enough alone.
Funny thing about social fears is that people with them tend to think something will happen if they do X or Y when, in reality, you are irrelevant to 99.9% of people and they expect you to not to care about them either.
>there has to be something you'd want to do
I think I'd like to learn dancing, but I think I'm a bit too self-conscious for that right now. I dunno, there are some things I've thought about, but I don't know if I'm cut out for them. I'd also like to learn how to sing, or take voice acting classes.
Also, my current job is reaching its end, in a few months, and I should probably be looking for another one before I can do any of those without feeling I should rather be doing something else. Thing is, fear has thus far prevented me from going around applying for something, especially since I have next to no job experience (and therefore an extremely limited CV), and I only have a highschool diploma (went to university, but was way too much of an idiot to take it seriously, and basically dropped off).
It's a lot of stuff.
>you are irrelevant to 99.9% of people and they expect you to not to care about them either
That's another thing that can become hard to remember, perhaps due to being self-absorbed.
>Being cut out for things
Are you doing them to have fun or to be freaking Stevie Jobs at it?
If for fun, just go and do it.
>Jobs
If you don't have a job, the worst thing that can happen is to continue like that.
That being said, you can do 2 things: apply for jobs (which may or may not give you one) or don't (which guarantees you won't get one).
This is the part where I'd say "take the risk", but there's no risk involved. You just either stay that way or you don't.
>Fear in general
Another aspect of fear is that the more you feed it, the bigger it grows.
Stop giving it so much attention.
>Are you doing them to have fun or to be freaking Stevie Jobs at it?
The ones I've listed I'd do for fun, but I'd probably feel like I'd have to become great at them, because of a stupid perfectionism.
>If you don't have a job, the worst thing that can happen is to continue like that.
I have one right now, but – as I wrote – it's gonna end somewhat soon. I'll have to bite the bullet.
> the more you feed it, the bigger it grows
It's just that I feel completely exposed and defenseless in those moments.