ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

This always happens. No one likes me.

Statistically unlikely. Meet more people till you find one who likes you.

No..

Probably overthinking. I can remember one guy I would say "talked too much", because he would literally keep me awake, and keep talking despite trying to say "goodnight" and "I really have to go to sleep" like 7 times. Or even calling me when my alarm clock would go off in the morning to talk there as well.

It takes quite a lot.

i'm that guy from yesterday and i saw that my ex texted me this morning
scared to look what she did honestly

Phew that makes me feel a bit better. i was literally basing it off of her taking a bit longer to reply/occasionally leaving me on read

Do i actually like this girl?
When i thought about her, i feel like i missed her, and butterflies in my stomach, and i wanted to see her.
When i saw her, i feel like i'm in love, and i wanted to go tease her or grab her attentions.
When i'm face to face with her, i feel nothing. I can't even think of anything to say. My mind is just all blank.
I had never been in a relationship before, and i rarely interact with girls as well.
Am i just in love with my imagined perfect version of her?
or Am i actually in love with her? But just too autistic to process the feeling?

sounds like love to me
you might have times you can comfortably talk about anything but you'll also have times of comfortable silence

If I’m an adult male and never kissed or been on a date, does that definitely mean that the reason for that is I’m undesirable to women?

What do adult women think of kissless virgins?

btw, Not in a relationship with this girl though.

No. It might also mean you never tried to get with a girl and run away from every chance you had to get with one.

>What do adult women think of kissless virgins?
Probably Id be weirded out and wonder why they're virgin, but not much to be thought of them.

Yeah that’s pretty much what I do, out of fear. But deep down I really want to experience relationships like a normal person.

So am I basically screwed then? Are most girls going to be too weirded out by me being a kissless dateless virgin?

Kek. No. It's not a big deal. It's a little weird, but it's fine. Everyone is a little weird.

then if you know her really well I'd say it is love

otherwise it is infatuation

tell me why i shouldn't stay in touch with ex girlfriends with whom relationships just didn't work out and feelings susbdued to a level where i'd bee comfortable enough to say "how have you been"?

every previous ex-gf i had i have no contact with, the last one barely because we're in the same friend circle
i never treated them wrong, nor was i abusive or anything else
it boggles my mind to be honest

So will girls not think I’m a freak?

Also I’ve heard that being a kissless virgin is a turnoff for some girls because it means no girl has ever desired the guy before, and therefore he is low social status. Therefore a girl could actually find me attractive and cool, but the moment she finds out I’m a KDV, she loses interest due to finding out who I really am...

Why are you making an identity out of being a kissless virgin? It's not who you are, it's just something you haven't done yet.
You'll do it, and then you won't suddenly change your personality to a deep level.

And girls don't think that deeply about the guys they date. If we think you're cute and we want to fuck you, we will most likely fuck you.

Is catcalling really that much of a problem? As in, is it something that happens on a daily basis and is it always weird and creepy? I'm asking because the women in my life have always given me vastly different answers, from "I don't think that's ever happened to me" to "yeah, I'm sometimes afraid to walk alone even during the day", which is weird becuase, if it's such a prevalent problem, it should be for most women, not just a few ones, and if it only happens to some, what's the difference between those who get catcalled and those who don't? It can't be attractiveness, I'm a guy and I've been catcalled just because I wear my hair long, some guys really don't care that much as long as it looks female from a distance.

Didn't get more than a single comment on this last thread, so trying again.

>27
>virgin, never been penetrated by anything other than fingers
>never slept with a guy
>but I'm definitely not gay
>have been in a 5 year relationship with another girl, however.
What would you think about this?

Guys just generally turn me on much more than girls, I just happened to like this girl a lot (at least until she had a meltdown due to family and personal situation in general), so it kinda superseded the attractiveness factor. Personality is just significantly more important to me than appearance ever could be.

It depends where you are and who else is there. It is worse in different places. It is worse if scummy guys happen to be out where you are or not.

It is ALWAYS weird and creepy, yes. There's no occasion in which I've been catcalled and I felt flattered, it's always intimidating, creepy and fucking annoying.
But it depends on where you live. I lived in southern Europe in 2 different towns, in the US, in England. It never happened to me in England but I lived in a very rural place, it happened to me all the fucking time in southern Europe, sometimes if I'm in scummier places it happens to me in the US. It started when I was 13 or so, and now that I'm almost 30 I still get guys catcalling me on occasion.

Well, being a kissless dateless virgin is my identity. It has shaped my entire adult life. It has defined how I view myself. To be honest, it has really badly impacted my life.

I view women as unattainable. I basically presume every woman thinks I’m repulsive, even if they show signs of interest in me, I presume they’re joking or that they’re just being friendly. Because I’m a KDV, surely no girl can find me attractive.

>it can't be attractiveness
It's not.

This isn't really a question to girls. I've discussed this with two coworkers, who never get catcalled. The thing is, these are successful business people, and they appear very confident and serious. Women like that don't get catcalled, despite being downright gorgeous.

I often get catcalled when I am alone, and I am maybe a 5/10 at best, and I'd wager I always look worried or insecure running around by myself, so I'm an easy target. Doesn't matter that I dont look as good, in fact, that seems to help make them confident enough to go for it.

Why? I have no idea. I'm not even sure this is right, this is just the theory we could come up with when discussing it. The male coworker there was *not* willing to discuss it, and basically gave a lot of non-answers, only really confirming that I looked like an easy target who would he unlikely to make a deal out of it, where my two female coworkers would guaranteed go crazy on them, or even call cops depending on what was said.

>being a kissless dateless virgin is my identity.
That's fucking retarded user.
I think I already talked to you about it, tho, and you're not willing to do anything to fix this so I'm not wasting my time again.

I don’t think you really know what it’s like. My entire adult and teenage life I have been constantly struggling with my kissless dateless virginity. And unfortunately, I’ve constantly lost that struggle.

Maybe focus on something else? Like developing yourself and having your own fucking identity, and not be a blank slate looking for a girl to fuck. That will get you nowhere, ever, and is the worst possible way to ever "win" that struggle.

I lost my virginity at 23. Being a virgin was never my identity.

Oh, I have though. I’m not saying I don’t do anything with my life. I keep myself occupied and I think I’m a well rounded person. But constantly in the background, I always know that I’m a kissless dateless virgin, and that that extremely uncomfortable fact defines me as a man.

Were you also kissless and dateless though? I could cope with being just a virgin, but being totally undesired by women for my whole life is just too much to bear.

>But constantly in the background, I always know that I’m a kissless dateless virgin, and that that extremely uncomfortable fact defines me as a man.
>defines me as a man
>implying this sort of attitude lets you qualify as a man
Sorry, but this is way too pathetic. You are letting yourself be defined by something that has absolutely no actual impact on who you are, or what you are worth. That's the problem, not the fact that you are a virgin.

But it does define my worth. 22 years and no girl has ever thought I'm worthy of kissing. No girl has ever thought they'd like to go on a date with me.

And in the context of that, how am I ever meant to build up the courage to ask a girl on a date myself? It's just impossible.

>I don’t think you really know what it’s like. My entire adult and teenage life I have been constantly struggling with not getting a cheese sandwich. And unfortunately, I’ve constantly lost that struggle.

>But constantly in the background, I always know that I’m a cheese sandwichless, and that that extremely uncomfortable fact defines me as a man.

>Were you also cheeseless and breadless though? I could cope with being just a not having a cheese sandwich, but never having any cheese or bread for my whole life is just too much to bear.

Girls, does any prior discussion need to be had before bringing a cock ring into the picture for sex? If I just put it on will it be too sudden? We haven't done a lot that could be considered "kinky" to normies yet, this is a pretty tiny step but I'm still overthinking a little bit.

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>no girl has ever thought I'm worthy of kissing.
Shit, you're a mind reader?? Who cares about you being a virgin then, that's amazing!

>And in the context of that, how am I ever meant to build up the courage to ask a girl on a date myself? It's just impossible.
By going up to a call who looks and smiles at you, and say "wanna grab a cup of coffee together?"

You are still a kid. Relax, you have plenty of time.

Kek

I'll be honest, if I had to choose between being a sex virgin or a cheese virgin I'd choose being a sex virgin every time.

I don't even know what a cockring is or what it is supposed to do.

google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=what is a cock ring

That's pretty good user. Gave me a chuckle. But it's not really comparable is it? The importance of a cheese sandwich in life doesn't even hold a candle to the importance of relationships.

How am I supposed to have the confidence to ask a girl on a date when I'm a KDV?

You're putting so much unnecessary worth on arbitrary things. Cool your autism and stop worrying about it so much and everything will get easier

there is cat calling and then there is harrassment.

I can't stop worrying. I'm gonna graduate college in a year's time. If I graduate college while still being a kissless dateless virgin, I'm gonna reach levels of depression that aren't even comprehensible to you. Imagine being in the one place in the world where it's easier than ever to get dates, relationships and sex, and STILL being hopelessly useless at it and not even getting a single date.

I just can't take it anymore. The constant degradation of my self-worth. The constant feeling of not being good enough. All I want is to be desired by a woman.

>all those sweet highschool love storiey with them marrying and still being happy in their late 20s
>meanwhile i'm dreaming of that
>had my fair share of LTR
>28 and kinda on the verge of just giving no fuck about dating anymore

i know how to make a woman feel good, feel desired and be passionate about it
is that not enough to at least start something serious in this day and age anymore?
why do woman go for the boring guys, putting on a persona of "bad boy" but in reality they don't do anything besides being a bad boy

Are there any women that are suited for long-term/meaningful relationships? All of them seem to be good for casual sex and short-term flings

Fuck I really need help.

I have fallen for a girl I work with who already has a long term partner. The issue is we were flirting before the fact she had a BF came up and our flirting hasn't really stopped.

We talk over snapchat/messenger every morning and night and we talk a lot in person at work as well. I literally feel like shit waiting for her to reply and every time she does my mood increases.

I've brought it up in this thread a few times in the past and the general consensus was that she does like me and she is keeping me as a back up but it has been a few months of the same shit and it is taking a toll on me. The first thing i do when i wake up is reply to her messages and its the last thing I do when I go to sleep. Chatting to her is the first thing I do when I get to work and the last thing i do before i leave. it feels like my life is currently revolving around her.

I get home from work and all I can do is watch Youtube and browse the web between her replies.

If you haven't guessed I'm a pretty shy and socially inept person.

I don't even know what help I am actually asking for. Help in getting over her or ways to speed up/wait out her current relationship imploding (if it ever happens)

IDK I'm a mess.

And the line between them can be extremely thin at times. Its always funny to hear what guys think catcalling means to them. Thankfully most think it is just a random yell across the street, and then nothing.

I wish that was how it was.

I can't think of anything shittier than trying to ruin someone else's relationship just so you can fuck. There are a shitton of women on the planet, a lot of them are pretty close to you. I'd suggest trying to find someone else to obsess over and either friendzone this girl or just drop her altogether. I know you'll ignore this but as someone with a gf and a slight fear that someone will try doing exactly what you want to do, I wanted to post regardless

See that's the thing friends/coworkers IRL are just trying to goad me into fucking her. I actually like her though, plus if she cheats on him with me its likely she will cheat on me with someone else. If something ever does happen I want it to be on good terms. Hence the waiting driving me insane.

Plus I'm so socially inept I doubt I could pull it off even if I wanted to, which desu I don't.

We interact daily for work so cutting her out entirely isn't really an option.

>super autistic girl
>have this friend I really like, but he shows no romantic interest in me, just friends
>too autistic to make a move, keep babbling and being weird when I try, like some kind of curse is holding me back
>April 1st
>literally sent him a text
>"I want you so badly, you have no idea"
>he normally text me several times a day
>despite that, no response
>no response
>no response
>Finally respond today with a:
>wow that caught me off guard! Good joke *smiley*
End me.

Write back
>shit did I send that April 1st?

>Good joke

I can't speak with certainty, but to me this seems like he might have low self-esteem and so believes that you expressing such strong interest in him so suddenly must be a joke.

He might be into you. Trust me. I'm the kissless virgin user in this thread, and I've had so many girls I've crushed HEAVILY on and I've shown literally zero romantic interest in them out of fear. In fact with some girls I've crushed on I've literally not even spoken to them.

Wait fuck I just saw that

Wtf OP? Why would you send that text on april 1st of all days? Now he definitely thinks you were fucking with him and thinks you probably view him as a total sap

>Is catcalling really that much of a problem?
Yes
>As in, is it something that happens on a daily basis and is it always weird and creepy?
Yep, even happens on dating sites. Can't post a shadow of cleavage without 50 messages of "Nice tits" from dried out boomers or "You deserve to be raped" from Indian spam. Irl it typically happens in worse parts of town, so if you avoid those and or only drive you still have a like 10% chance of harassment if you are at a red light with creeps and have your windows rolled down with a shitty sound system/not blairing.
>if it only happens to some, what's the difference between those who get catcalled and those who don't?
It's not just attractiveness, it's universal attractiveness. You know how everyone has a type? Well the more you fit into being generally attractive, the higher your likelyhood for harassmet is. But also, at the same time, if you cross paths with someone that is fetishizing you (Trap/Trans, Fat, Boob size, Tattoos, Foreign) you can also experience that kind of harassment.

What's a good toy for beginners that wont be too overwhelming? Thinking of getting one for the girl because I always finish too quick...Would a vibrator be too strong?

Do not buy someone a toy if you don't confirm it with them that they would actually use it. Sex toys typically have a no return policy because there's never ones packaged with "freshness seals".

Have tried something similar to that for 4 hours now, and I can't. I'm just dying trying to, but holy shit this is so hard.

I'm unfortunately in the same boat. I can't do it without the guise it of potentially being a joke, because I just panick and end up throwing my phone across the room if I am trying to send a weird type of confession message

I'm 26. This shouldn't be that hard. What the hell is wrong with me

Send him a simple message then. Something where context and wording doesn't matter. Just a
>visit me. Now.
Message.

Cat Calling is basically exclusively Harassment. The only times where it's acceptable is if the recipient is attracted to the Caller, which is usually reserved for relationships where it's mutually agreed upon.

You're in love my dude. Good luck.

>Wtf OP? Why would you send that text on april 1st of all days? Now he definitely thinks you were fucking with him and thinks you probably view him as a total sap
Because if I try to do it any other day, I can't. I need some way to laugh it off it he reacts... I dont know how, just negatively somehow.

...give me a minute. I'll try if I can do that. We visit each other all the time though....

Is it wrong to not want friendship but want a girlfriend?

I mean, I have friends, and I have friends who are girls too. But when talking to new girls, I'm not here for friendship. A relationship is friendship as well, in a way, but I'm not there just to be friends.

Is that wrong? Like if things don't work with a girl I basically just completely drop her in 95% of cases, I just don't see the point. I don't need/want more friends. And I don't need a relationship I guess, but I do want one.

Asked my ex if she'd be up for a cup of coffee to catch up
Haven't had any contact in over a month, second time around that is

She replid with
>hey user, i don't think this is a good idea. Sorry

How do i reply in a kind way? Mind you she invited me to her birthday party in a month and we have a lot of mutual friends

thanks for the tip, guess we'll go shop for one together and see if she's interested when we visit Japan next month

>We visit each other all the time though....
Doesn't matter, a flat "visit me" type of message right after that tragedy, sends a pretty clear message that is different from your usual visits.

Sure. Besides, most people would have am absolute harem of the opposite sex at some point, if every date they had ever had was still their friend.

You have the best toy already: your tongue and your fingers.

Use them instead. Few toys can match that equipment.

I don't know. I don't think I've ever been in love.

The real world has no place for people like that. Men of character capitalize on it and you're suggesting that they somehow hit the brakes to dwell somewhere between milquetoast and mediocre. I agree with the other Anons, your expectations have been terribly misled by fiction.

Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.

If I took you at your word, I'd think that you're not really in touch with your sexuality. That could happen to be asexuality for all we know, but at age 27 you still sound very vague.

To be honest that sort of bluntness would actually be refreshing from most women. Just do yourself a favor and say it in person next time. That way if he feels the same way you can dispense with the clothing right away.

>If I took you at your word, I'd think that you're not really in touch with your sexuality. That could happen to be asexuality for all we know, but at age 27 you still sound very vague
Uh... what kind of response is that? Is that seriously what you would think on a date with me after learning this?

That seems incredibly odd.

>Doesn't matter, a flat "visit me" type of message right after that tragedy, sends a pretty clear message that is different from your usual visits.
Fuck, I managed to send a "come over" message.

I'll be panicking for an hour or two until he gets here. Dont mind me.

>Just do yourself a favor and say it in person next time.
>she says to someone literally causing damage to her phone over a simple fucking text message
She clearly has some insane issues that wont allow that sort of confession, and I somehow doubt that would lead to removing clothes, given how she sounds like she is 12.

you have now senpai

so i met this girl and we hit it off and exchanged numbers and we texted for a few days and then she went quiet. i looked her up on fb and she's got a bf and a kid, so i told her i'd leave her alone, which i did. five days later i text her asking to be just friends and she replied saying of course, and we've been "friends" ever since. we text literally all day every day. we talk about sex and kids and marriage and we have a lot in common. it's actually scary. we're obviously falling for each other. when we meet in person there's a lot of heavy flirting (rubbing, touching, etc). we send pics of ourselves to each other every day over text. she's currently on a trip to disneyland with her bf and their kid lol, and she's texting me the whole time. she's really unhappy with this guy. he works a lot of she's home with her boy 90% of the time. she asked me over to hers on tuesday night but i didn't do it, mostly because i don't want to get shot by her bf. i'm getting myself into a lot of trouble here. i really like her and i'm willing to make it work, but i'm in college and i can't afford to take care of her while her bf can. as soon as she gets back from disneyland and her bf goes back to work we will likely start having an actual affair. i'll be going over to her house.

so we're obviously not just friends.... and i don't know whether i should run away or keep going... i'm being torn apart about this

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>on a date
Who said anything about a date? You literally did not use that word once in your post. I thought you were just asking about some kind of interpretation of your past.

If we were on a date I wouldn't think anything at all, since it would mean that you are still engaged sexually. I hope you can appreciate that there's a big gap between the story you shared in your post and "oh plus I'm also interested in dating men now." Without that part you very much sounded confused.

A lot of people have colossal hang-ups which they break through just by taking the plunge. She might turn beet red, stammer so hard she loses her breath and damn near faint, but she's gotta get over her internal barriers already. Nothing about pent up feelings and such a bungled communication over text message was constructive.

Let me rephrase then. I assumed it was sufficiently clear, but I guess not.

What would you guys think about a girl who was never been with a guy, and only a girl, assuming you were on a date and was asking her about her sexual past?

The question comes out of curiosity due to how many guys here seem to value "virgins", and I am interested in knowing where I fall in terms of that.

Nothing, apart from the usual concern involving bisexual people that your past sexual history with women might contribute to a need that a monogamous relationship with a man can't fulfill.

As far as virginity--even though I personally don't hang any value on that--I'd say you count, because you still have no basis for comparison between men. Of course other guys can chime in with views that may differ.

You really shouldn't do this.

I know the feeling, unfortunately. I work at a specialised daycare, where one kid especially is just completely attached to me, and I'm not even a caretaker, I just manage the finances and ensure we have the required things we need, as well as the salaries and property. This 8 year old girl just loves me way too much, and the unfortunate thing is, her dad sure seems to start being interested as well, and I can't help participating in the flirting. I know full well how hard it is to ignore, and how awful a feeling it is, when you know all too well you would probably take the offer if you ever got it.

But it just really, really isn't worth it. You'll ruin the kids life, and you will ruin their life, and at the end of the day, you will always be the home wrecker. It will severely impact your life going forward, and not for the better.

>Nothing, apart from the usual concern involving bisexual people that your past sexual history with women might contribute to a need that a monogamous relationship with a man can't fulfill.
I can't think of anything a women can do that men can't.

I could be wrong, but women kinda have less tools than men have in this regard.

but i'm not forcing anything
it's all her. i'm letting her escalate things. i'm vulnerable because i'm just getting over a bad breakup (i was engaged last year). i think, no i hope, that she just wants to fuck and go our separate ways, because then i wouldn't be a homewrecker (unless we get caught).

>almost for the surgery
>have to wear the hospital gown
>feel like a crossdresser

They can't be women. (I can already feel the trans* mob marching toward me.) It's not so much a practical thing as one of "flavor." A person may just really miss being with their own gender at one point and that's not compatible with an exclusive heterosexual commitment. Not saying that it would happen, but what am I supposed to do IF three years from now you tell me that you desperately miss being with a woman? One of us is not leaving that moment as a happy camper.

>but i'm not forcing anything
I know. That's not what I'm saying.

I'm like 99% sure if my path keeps going this direction, something will happen. It's gotten to the point where he shows up 20 to 30 minutes before he has to pick her up, just to chat with me. I am doing nothing to force, or even facilitate it. I am only reacting.

The problem is that you *shouldn't* be reacting. Because even a temporary affair to fix your bad breakup wont prevent this from ruining things. These things come out sooner or later. They always do. Maybe not now, maybe not in a year, but it will blow up, and it will always be your fault.

I fully understand your pain. It's awful, and you want to just not care and be selfish for once, but you are ruining it for yourself later down the road as well, I guarantee it. You need to distance yourself, and you need to stop this before it gets out of hand. You think this is what you need, but you'll be regretting it if you do.

I guess that's fair. I suppose I'm just not gay enough to understand that.

I can't think of a single physical feature that women has the superior version of. Guess that might sound weird and a bit like a lie, for someone who had been in a relationship with a girl for 5 years.

ahhh you make too much sense why can't you be my gf

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>I work at a specialised daycare, where one kid especially is just completely attached to me, and I'm not even a caretaker, I just manage the finances and ensure we have the required things we need, as well as the salaries and property. This 8 year old girl just loves me way too much, and the unfortunate thing is, her dad sure seems to start being interested as well, and I can't help participating in the flirting.
How are none of the caretakers/coworkers interfering and stopping this...?

This seems incredibly off for someone working at a place like that. I can't picture a situation where no one reacts to something like this.

She may eventually choose her bf over you. This exact thing happened to me and Im still cut up about it. Even if you really really like eachother, she is more emotionally invested in her bf. If you continue like this, it will mess with your head every time she doesn't text you fast enough. You will also have to deal with her guilt of running around on her bf. Even if you are successful in "stealing" her, she could go back to him, or run around on you too, without a second thought. Yes, it sucks. Life would be so much simpler if she had just met you first, huh? My advice: tell her that you're not interested in friendship, and that you're not comfortable with cheating, but to give you a call if her situation changes and she becomes single and then WALK AWAY.

i could find someone else very easily
i have a new girl after me every week lol i was rated an 8.5/10 on /soc/
i'm still a one girl at a time kind of guy though so i won't even humor any other girls while i'm into kristen
there's only 6 weeks left of the semester. i'll probably call it off then

I talked to you the other day.
You are desired by women. You don't act on it because you are a pussy.
Stop being a pussy.

I mean, yes, of course.
I've been in a relationship for 6 years, very happy with my husband. My little sister has been with her boyfriend for 4 years too.
What makes a woman worthy of a long term relationship in your opinion?

>Is that wrong? Like if things don't work with a girl I basically just completely drop her in 95% of cases, I just don't see the point.
Nah that's pretty normal about it. People sometimes whinge about it but they get over it, truth is they don't even want to "stay friends" generally.

Tried oral before but it has to be fresh out of the shower and after a period of time the amount of discharge becomes too much for me to handle..

I want updates from some recurring posters I'd they read this.
>Grill who spent several thousand of he bfs money on a deadbeat friend.
Last post was her complaining her bf hadn't totally gotten over it after 2 days and it should be fine since she said sorry
>Strayan who took a grill home from a work function after she got rufied
Last thing I heard she pulled him into an office at the end of the work day and beejd him

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Alright, I am facilitating it a little bit...

But it is mostly because my office is slightly isolated from the usual area, and my coworkers dont come by all that often. And even then, they haven't done much other than what I am doing here: strongly advice against letting it be more than casual flirting.

I've avoided sharing my phone number specifically to help stop letting it go further, or worse, ruin something without it even happening, due to stupid text messages.