How do I accept that I'll never have a family of my own?

How do I accept that I'll never have a family of my own?
As in a wife and kids

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The first step is to stop using vague words like "accept." You don't "accept" reality any more than you "accept" gravity. Things are what they are.

When you aren't specific about feelings, you just let yourself linger without resolution to your problems. Figure out exactly how you feel now and how you want to feel. Then you can craft a route between those points.

Do you want a wife and kids? Why do you have to accept that you won't?

Why won't you OP?

this. also take comfort in that we're severely overpopulated as a species and will probably not live past 2050 if we don't pull our heads out of our ass and do something about climate change - so it's not like your kids would have lived very long in the first place.

Get you a partner in crime and go see the world. Fuck having children. Fuck mortgages. Fuck normal existence. Go forth and be excellent and enjoy your freedom .

I don't know if you care or not, but I am going to tell you how I feel. I feel cheated honestly. I bought into the "there's someone for everyone BS, I feel as if my life had no greater purpose. I want a reason to fight, I want a reason to keep going.
This actually kinda helped I should value that I have minimal obligations, but like I mentioned what's the point of all this freedom without a direction
>5'1
>4.5" penis (erect)
>Ugly face
All these separate are fine, but together they form the most undesirable man

>All these separate are fine, but together they form the most undesirable man

Actually it is your shitty attitude and the fact that you have already given up all hope that makes you the most undesirable man.

So what I'm hearing is that where you are now is "I feel cheated" and where you want to end up is "I want to feel like my life has a greater purpose." Not to oversimplify your problem, but it sounds like the route to your goal is simply acknowledging that there's more purpose to life than finding someone with whom to share your life. People lied to you about one of the myriad grand accomplishments in life and suddenly you forget all of the other things you can do?

Thank God I had the good fortune to see your thread and say something. Imagine if you went on with this silly notion that you had to "accept" a lack of purpose, content to keep yourself so limited in your perspective that you missed every other opportunity that a person has to find meaning in their existence.

I gave up hope because of the evidence that says my chances are next to impossible, soif I hope, if I'm confident, how does that impact my actual chances? I'd I imagine minimally seeing as I have so much going against me

It's not like I don't have other dreams and aspirations, this is just the one I want the most

Evidence proves you wrong. When presented with the fact that guys uglier than you in every single way have gfs/wives, you wiggle out with some other excuse. Now be honest and answer this: how many girls have you asked out in your life? Have you ever created an account on tinder or other dating sites?

None

Yet to be as objective as possible, it's not the one which is the greatest. Your other dreams and aspirations are probably much more meaningful and impactful when viewed as purposes for your existence. Letting go of this one doesn't deprive you of purpose, it only deprives your hormones the chance to lead you down this irrational rabbit hole.

Yeah, you're right, but it's difficult when I'm constantly surrounded by love in out media, and everywhere in public

Well gee, I wonder why you have never had a gf. It's almost as if you would need to ask a girl out to get one.

Why fish in a barren lake

You're also surrounded by people, especially in media, who are accomplishing all of your other aspirations and goals. Every single one of them, I'm sure.

Your response there was really so bad that you don't sound like you're in the driver's seat, so to speak. You just threw me a canned response that didn't make any sense in the context of what I'm saying.

How do you know it is a barren lake if you never cast your line to begin with?

I'm trying to let go of this deisre, but I keep being reminded of my failures is my point
Because statistical the chances of there being fish is extremely low. This coming from several studies a d research

And yet you still don't know if the lake is actually barren but are too afraid to go and check for yourself.

If you won't move into the driver's seat and act on what makes sense to you, there's nothing for anyone to do. We can't force you to end your own self-imposed anguish.

But if you keep agreeing with everything I'm saying and see the opportunity to find purpose elsewhere, yet you literally cannot, then you've got a pathological obsession and you need professional help. There's nothing to "accept" about an unhealthy stagnation upon a point that you can admit shouldn't be the sole focus of your emotions.

You know nothing of the lake. All you know is that you have read that some lakes are barren. You decide that the lake is barren and not try. Because you are so afraid and such a chickenshit that you might actually catch a fish. You don't want that. You don't want to catch a fish. The thought scares you. So you tell yourself there is no fish in the lake and continue to live in fear.

Maybe I'm scared to be vulnerable, I don't really feel scared of a relationship it's self, but the risk of being rejected

You know the difference between you and a guy who has successfully nabbed lots of girls? The latter has actually been rejected. Multiple times.

How cute

Is rejection your fear?? Omg

That girl said no to what you want.

And you didn’t get what you want!

Damn that’s scary I’ve never felt that before....

OP, why do you feel like you‘ll have to accept that?
This is a very deep seated need humans have. I‘m not sure it would be a good idea to try and bury it.

You're probably scared of intimacy as much as rejection. It's a one-two.

The alternative is misery
Probably

Why is that the only alternative?
What about the alternative to fulfill your needs?

With alcohol and drugs like the rest of us.

There is no magical ending. You were brought up on Disney movies designed to keep you producing and consuming. There is no Disney ending to life, at least not anymore. I think though that men have rewritten the book on systemic problems like this in the past and it's our nature to invent a suitable alternate. Coming to terms with what women are and what they aren't is the hardest part. On a small scale, you can do that and then go about deciding what you want to do with that unused energy and time. You might come up with something that helps other men cope as well.

Think of it this way. The goal is to get a ghirlfriend. If you do nothing then you already lost. If you ask a girl out and she says no then you are no worse off than when you started but at least you tried to win.

You are a fucking dick.

Rejection is not about not getting your way, and is not that bad for things you don't really care about but when you stake many things it gets to you. I'm not OP but this happened to me awhile back.

> Be me
> A timid guy that dislikes attention
> Muster the courage to speak the girl I like after a lot of thinking
> I was waiting the right opportunity for her to be alone
> Always surrounded by at least one friend
> Fuck it
> I say Hi
> She looks at me and does not reply
> I say Hi again and she burst out laughing
> Her friend immediately rushes so they run away
> MFW I drew a portrait of her and just wanted to give it to her and make small talk

Days later....

> I saw her grappling really friendly with the DICKEST guy ever, he was unironically an annoying dick.

It hurt, and you get over it but if you think saying yeah no big deal, then you are either starting a relationship not caring about your partner and if she cheats on you are you gonna say yeah no biggie again; or you are just blocking your emotions.

Because the way I see it I could go tell any girl to hang out without any interest and rejection wouldn't be as bad as coming from someone you care about/are interest in.

And for OP I see people telling him to be on tinder but would you really have a relationship with a girl over that app?

I think OP says good/wife material girls nowadays are rare, and most, including guys, think sex is the end goal of a relationship and not a part of it.

Let's be honest you can have a relationship with any girl just for the sake of having it, but if you are as OP or uglier just saying "Nah my man you just need attitude" that's a bullshit unicorn and you know it.

That says something about you. That a girl would find you less attractive than a total dickhead.

Just suicide someday like I will

Thanks for all the help anons. What I got from it is that it's not as critical as I sometimes think it is, and I should work on focusing my energy on more productive things. Also there is that user that thinks I don't really know what the dating market looks like for me..

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Animals are the next best thing desu. Do what this guy does. I bet you he feels very fulfilled in his life

youtu.be/-zfmvtpsQq8

I don't know about all that..

by stop trying so hard to get one and going out side and mingle for the sake of mingling.

About what? You don’t think he feels fulfilled?

You yourself don't know what the dating market looks like for you.

I have a pretty good idea