I am the most pathetic person here

I am over 30 and I live in my parents basement as a hermit. I've been this way since I was in my mid 20s after a very long relationship ended and my reality spiraled out of control.

After the breakup, I became addicted to video games and porn. My social life dwindled more each day. I gave up in the idea of a normal life.

I make good money except that I work very few hours, meaning I am lucky if I make over 10k a year.

Every night I go to bed and have panic attacks thinking about my parents passing away and not knowing what I'm going to do. I have extreme social anxiety and depression. I have to build myself up to the though of interacting with my employers or having to speak to someone of importance on the phone.

I didn't make this post for you to feel sorry for me, I made it as a warning. It doesn't always get better. I am in a trap and I can't figure a way out. I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog Day. When I am not distracting myself, I am looking forward to sweet release but I am too chicken shit to end it.

Change your ways now if you still can. I hope you all get the help you need while you still can.

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I don‘t see a single reason why it whould be too late for you, user.
What would you need from this world to make your life more enjoyable?

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I can't build a career. I mean, I CAN, but I can't physically motivate myself to go out there and do it because I am defeated. I make almost $40 an hour but the work is not enough to be able to live on my own and afford things.

I think my brain is severely damaged because a normal person would be able to turn things around and yet I am in a constant loop of defeat and despair

What i can read between those lines is that you would need the world to be less demanding? Am i right? If not, please tell me what it is you‘d need from it instead.

You need nihilism.

Doesn't sound too bad, especially considering that you have your parents' support. I would recommend exposure therapy, excercise, and trying to expand your hobbies into a more social aspect. You like video games, yeah? Try to make more meaningful irl connections through Vidya then.

Sociall anxiety and depression aren't that hard to fix in most cases, most people who say they are depressed are so due to issues with their habits. That said, it can be triggered by extreme stress so in your case it can be legitimate, but there are many ways to treat it. Our knowledge of neuroplasticity and psychiatry expands every year. There are many different options for you.

T. Paramedic, and someone with much harsher issues than you who has made it work out.

Not OP, but saying you've suffered much harsher issues means exactly jack fucking shit. Suffering is relative. Many people have suffered far more than you ever could. Should that mean you aren't suffering? No! By the same logic, those "beneath" you in terms of suffering should not be dismissed either, as you would not wish to be dismissed.

Suffering is a hierarchy. Sorry, but as someone who has been called to and had to control scenes you couldn't imagine I'm not going to pretend that we're all in this egalitarian fantasy where all people suffer in similar amounts. Victims of child molestation, people with 3rd degree burns leaving scars all over their bodies, or people who lose limbs and are paralyzed due to injuries do not suffer the same as those who were merely called names in school or that suffered a large break up.

Frankly, the world is filled with more suffering than I think you can imagine.

Ok and none of your pathetic little burns or abuses or cripples could possibly compare to the absolutely incandescent suffering of Mithridates.

You won't ever meet anyone who suffered as he suffered, so I guess it's all good now, right, dumbfuck?

shut up faggot

There's really no other option but to try. It may actually make you feel better when you're not wasting time instead. Then of course getting your own place to live is essential.

i love you :(

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That rapper just got shot @ 33 and he was still striving. user you better stay on the ground things get tough but enjoy yourself and make your mom and pop happy have breakfast with them and call an old friend. Fuckin feel alive and get out of zombie mode ok user were really countin on u

>I am the most pathetic person here.

You don't even come in the Top 100.


I am 36 years old and still live with my mother. I have no prospects whatsoever but I'm not remotely autistic or weird. I honestly think I am the rarest individual on Jow Forums. If ever you met me irl, you'd think I was a normie for sure.

What do you do for work?

I would see a psychiatrist to get meds for anxiety. Start leaving the house for little things, do it more and more. Increase gradually.

I'm desperate to make money, how do you do it like that?

Man I can relate but don't worry user there are blue skies ahead.

>I was in my mid 20s after a very long relationship ended and my reality spiraled out of control.

Dude we've all been there. Why did you let this be? You should have taken revenge by being an awesome guy. I mean the best revenge is living the best life.

success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal

Wow. Yeah, waking up and reading this has convinced me that you're a total waste of time to talk to. You think that having 3rd degree burns all over your body or being raped as a child should be taken as seriously as someone hurting your feelings through insults or a break up, because suffering isn't hierarchical. To disprove that suffering is hierarchical - you state that the pain suffered by x historical figure is GREATER than their suffering.

You have a room temperature IQ and all the egocentrism of a spoiled child.

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Cliffs pls

>I've been this way since I was in my mid 20s after a very long relationship ended and my reality spiraled out of control.

Don't worry, you're not as pathetic as me. I'm 22 and an eternal kissless dateless virgin because I'm too scared to ask out girls. You have done things I could never dream of doing.

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Are you my brother?

I hate you fucking pathetic neets so much.

I wish the fucker just killed himself and stopped being a burden on others

this will be me in a few years. i just don't know anymore.

What do you make $40/hr doing, and why can't you do more of it?