ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Some of them make it really easy for you if they like you enough. Unfortunately it all goes to shit after when they realise you're actually a bit of a mess.

Yes. At 30, I'm living proof of that.

I've had girls make it super easy for me, literal very easy mode, and yet i still am a dateless virgin because I was still too scared even in those circumstances to make a move

If you don't have the courage to ask a girl out yourself, you probably wouldn't have the courage to accept when a girl asks you out (or intelligence to manage it). You'd self-doubt, wonder if you were being used for free shit, and start acting aloof/intentionally distant thinking you were being smart by avoiding the appearance of desperation.

What are some ways I can compliment the girl I'm seeing without seeming to fetishize her? She's fat and I love the look and feel of her legs and tummy, and how she jiggles and bounces when she's on top.

I dunno then mate. I just found they boost your confidence enough at times that you can't not make a move of some sort.

This hurts because it is true and what happened to me many times
Actively asking out girls is the only way
Date multiple women
Dont commit until 30s

Maybe, but no girl has ever asked me out. I've had girls compliment me, flirt with me heavy, physically touch me in a way that strongly suggests they want me to go in for a kiss or something, but never actually ask me out or use the words "I want to date you" or anything to that effect. It really makes me sad that this is the case.

Not really. Because they won't go as far as asking me out, I have no evidence to prove that they actually want to date me. A girl could think I'm super hot but still not want to date me. So I still think there's something wrong with me, that I must be repulsing women, that they don't want to date me for some reason even though they think I'm attractive

Why arent any women sexually attracted to me? I’m 26 and never was able to find a girl who likes me physically

Attached: 85666EA4-C891-4965-863E-880FE1B6442B.jpg (2320x3088, 1.64M)

>Maybe, but no girl has ever asked me out. I've had girls compliment me, flirt with me heavy, physically touch me in a way that strongly suggests they want me to go in for a kiss or something, but never actually ask me out or use the words "I want to date you" or anything to that effect. It really makes me sad that this is the case.
... you know that's not what asking someone out is, right? "I want to date you" is more like, moving from dating to exclusive. So yeah, you wouldn't hear it or say it unless you were already casually dating someone (and if someone said it at an inappropriate time, you'd not accept it).

But I like you, Brandon.

Your photos have gotten a lot better. The collared shirt is a nice touch.

Photoshop out that acne. Also stop taking selfies in your home, it makes you look like a loser.

Just tell her generic shit and not how fat she is.
"You look stunning"

>won't go as far as asking me out
When they constantly come up with things to do or tell you "we should do that/go there some time" then they might as well be asking you out.

Honestly, helps to remember they're often nervous wrecks as well. Pick up on all their nervous ticks to remind yourself... usually pretty cute too.

Girls

What do you do when you’re craving for intimacy but you’re not in a relationship and not ready for one?

lol so i got this girl's number and asked her out and then she said she's busy so i was like alright whatever maybe some other time and then i check her fb and she's got a kid and a bf so i was like ok let's be friends and she was like ok and then she was like i can hook you up with one of my friends and she started showing me pics of them and they were all hogs but i was polite about it but no thanks lol anyways that was a few weeks ago and since then we've been texting every day and i today i asked her about her friends and she literally fucking says she doesn't want to share me haha crazy i can't wait to fuck this girl lol she wants me so bad and i love cucking other guys it's my fetish

>using lol in place of periods
heinous

is "I need more time" or "it's to soon" ever not a lame excuse?

Yeah obviously. But what I mean is girls will flirt with me, compliment me, but they won't make it explicit that they want to actually date me. Which prevents me from asking them out. I need to know if they actually want to go on a date with me.

When I was in high school I had a massive crush on a girl who had a crush on me too and referred to me as "extremely attractive", but she rejected me again and again because she just didnt want to date me. She was a very strange girl. But that experience profoundly affected me.

I get that. But I just don't know how I'm supposed to get the courage to ask a girl out.

>don't know how I'm supposed to get the courage
Realise you've nothing to lose because the regret is equally as bad if not worse than the pain of rejection.

yes

would you elaborate please? I've gotten it twice and it was twice bullshit and I'll probably soon be getting it a third time and my hopes aren't all that high
I can imagine a scenario where it's not bullshit myself if that's what you mean, I'm not that bitter, I've just never heard of a real world example

Problem is I can accept that and repeat it again and again, but it doesn't make the act of asking a girl out any easier. Especially when I've never done it before. My level of experience is so low that I've never even done so much as make a move on a girl and get rejected. Most "virgin guys" have at least approached a girl. I've not even done that in my adult life.

You just have to force yourself to desu. You know that.

No replies when I asked last thread.
I have a beautiful boss that I think likes me but I'm not sure. Whats recently made things more confusing is that she has said a few times "I remind her of her brother" endearingly. They're really close from what I've gathered. I havent exactly hid my feelings from her but I havent told her because shes already shot 3 of my male coworkers down since I've started.

Am I just a friend or is there more to this?

She might like me because:
>I gave her rides home when I first started so she didn't have to lyft or walk through her unsafe neighborhood at night.
>She hasnt taken off the amethyst/sterling silver necklace I got her for her birthday.
>Shes almost a year sober and I'm the only other sober person there, she inspired me to get my shit together in 2019.
>She complimented my gains from the gym, saying my arms/chest are looking bigger.
>She complimented how clean my face is
>When I mentioned I hadnt ever had a birthday party she said shed throw me a half-birthday party next month.
>I listen to her and ask questions because I love getting to know her more.
>I'm almost otter but kinda skinny, 7-7.5/10 (per /soc/), tall, pretty eyes, nice lips (per others).
>I make her smile alot and she almost always looks at me when someone else makes her laugh.
>Have taken her to lunch/dinner outside of work, run into her at chipotle or grocery shopping sometimes.
>She gets sassy with me in a way she doesnt with other guys.
>We have many similar interests , shes going hiking with me tomorrow and wanted to do some harder hikes and rock climbs when I mentioned I was going.

Reasons why not:
>Coworker
>shot down everyone else thats tried
>In first year of sobriety, not the time to be in relationships.
>I'm a vagabond that lives offgrid in a small RV.
>I have mental health issues
>Maybe shes just nice and likes me as a friend
>Sometimes has lunch with other male coworkers that asked her out
>I remind her of her brother???

For anyone really, but input from female college TAs would be cool

Is it wrong to ask out an undergraduate TA at the end of the semester? We've been somewhat friendly before and after class throughout the semester, and it turns out we have a lot in common.

The only thing is, we're in physics and I'm worried she's sick of nerdy guys making moves on her.

I would emphasize no date until after final grades, obviously.

But that isn't really possible, is it? You can't just FORCE yourself to do something that your brain is fighting against you not to do

lol i asked out my professor last year and now i'm taking her class again
things are fine
do it

I kinda give up. I used to fantasise about going to a party or get-together, gradually clicking with a hot girl and then her developing feelings for me in a very natural way.
Reality is that that hot girl is either taken or interested in someone else. Or I go to said party and don't get any proper 1on1 chatting time with her.
I give up. There's literally no point in socialising if I can't get attractive women.

The other day a girl Facebook stalked me and we had a good long chat, then a few days later she mentioned out of the blue she mentioned having a boyfriend. And while that seems like a lie it seems like she's now fucking some other dude instead. This is NOT what I wanted out of life. I wanted women interested in me in a natural progression.

There's a girl I like. Mutual friends confirmed she likes me. We've been on one outing (not sure if I would call it a date, but one on one coffee). Got another one soon to the movies. I admit I was being cocky, so when she said "sounds like a date", I said something dumb that basically implied I do want to date her. She implied she wants me to say it in person. I'm not a complete social retard so I can do it if I figure out how. What do I say? Should I buy a gift? If so, what? Any other tips?

>But what I mean is girls will flirt with me, compliment me, but they won't make it explicit that they want to actually date me.
You know that's not done, right? Like at all. It's contrary to normal dating practices to do that out of the blue. When girls are doing shit like that they're basically explicitly making it clear that they want to date you.

My ex just texted me to tell me she broke up with the guy she left me for. How do I tell her to fuck off without saying fuck off. Maybe I should just say fuck off.

>When girls are doing shit like that they're basically explicitly making it clear that they want to date you.

But how are you supposed to tell what they really mean?

One girl might flirt because she wants to date the guy, another girl might flirt cause she just wants to fuck, another girl might flirt with no intent at all but instead just for fun.

One girl might compliment my appearance because she really likes me and wants to date me. Another girl might compliment my appearance because she just thinks I look nice, but has no intention of dating me at all

Its impossible to know if they dont make it explicit

If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you remove her from your life? If your break up was bad, tell her to fuck off. If it wasn't, ignore it or just reply with something that shows you aren't interested.

No contact, make her slowly puzzle together her stupid decisions.

I recently stopped being autistic about stuff like that. You have to take chances and speak your mind, so long as it won't incriminate you. Also not masturbating or watching porn helped me develop confidence.

>One girl might flirt because she wants to date the guy, another girl might flirt cause she just wants to fuck, another girl might flirt with no intent at all but instead just for fun.
Contextual cues and the manner of flirtation make it blatantly obvious. It's as good as explicit. And when you do make a mistake, who the fuck cares? You're almost never far off in reality, even if the girl later says differently.

>talk to girlie
>it goes quite well
>feel super duper ultra macho
>cannot focus on anything else for more than 2 seconds
Why?

I dont know why I just find it impossible. I've been given every clear cut chance in the world. There is no way I should be a kissless dateless virgin at 22, it's just ridiculous. So many girls have made it abundantly clear to me that they wanted me. I feel like I've wasted my life. And even knowing all that, I'm still too pussy to go and ask out a girl

I'm just scared of the humiliation if i get it wrong. I feel like it could destroy me

>I'm just scared of the humiliation if i get it wrong.
What humiliation? You don't get laughed at, you don't get yelled at, nobody cares enough to tell other people. More often than not, when you got the wrong idea from a girl's actions, she's just as embarrassed for having given you the wrong idea.

The important thing is that you don't start committing emotionally to someone you haven't been on a single coffee date with before. That is where a lot of the people who make the same sorts of complaints you do fuck up. When you ask for coffee early, before you're even really friends, there's almost nothing at risk from failure, and certainly no humiliation because there was a miscommunication.

why is the guy i like so hot and cold in his attentions and affections towards me? one day he’ll be kissing me, calling me pet names and telling me he loves me. a couple days later he’ll either ignore me completely or give short one word answers to everything like he’s pissed off. then it’s back to being nice again a few days later. what gives?

Problem is i've waited too long, cause of fear of rejection.

I know a lot of girls at college who i would have asked out, if i had the courage to do so. But now I've known those girls for 6 months, a year, two years, whatever. And its probably too late now and that fucking makes me so angry with myself, like I lost every opportunity that life gave to me

I just dont want to ask out a girl and have her get offended that i even had the nerve to think I'm in the same league as her. I mean, I'm a kissless dateless virgin. Clearly there must be something wrong with me

>when you got the wrong idea from a girl's actions, she's just as embarrassed for having given you the wrong idea.
Bullshit. She tells all her friends, everyone gossips about you for being rejected, and every other girl in the same circle loses interest you because no girl wants a guy that got reject by their peers.

Have you 2 fucked?

>Bullshit. She tells all her friends, everyone gossips about you for being rejected, and every other girl in the same circle loses interest you because no girl wants a guy that got reject by their peers.
In middle school maybe.

Let me get this straight. Do you deny that
1. Women in their early 20s tell their friends when a guy asks them out?
2. Women find a guy who got rejected by their friend less attractive?

We have a lot of mutual friends. I see her frequently because of that. It’s been worth it to be diplomatic.

You need to stop the implicit movement of the goalposts. You're talking about "asking a girl out" and "getting rejected" like these are both momentous occasions in the way the two participants relate, rather than something everyday and casual.
>1. Women in their early 20s tell their friends when a guy asks them out?
If a guy says to a girl he actually knows a little, "Hey, [girl], let's grab coffee after class on Tuesday," she probably won't bother to tell her friends even if she turns him down. Shit like that is trivial and she looks like an autist for making a big deal out of it.
>2. Women find a guy who got rejected by their friend less attractive?
A guy who does an autistic confession or asks a girl out on a romantic date out of the blue and gets shot down would probably be less attractive, but not because he was turned down. Rather, he would be less attractive because he engages in abnormal dating behavior suggestive of social or psychological problems.

A guy asks a girl out for coffee and she says no? You could ask her friends, though I wouldn't in the same conversation, and certainly not suffer for it.

Furthermore, I object to the implication that it even matters that a girl's friends think less of you. Why would you only ask out the girls within a single circle? Why aren't you asking girls who don't know each other as well?

Whats the difference between cute and sexy?

I am with my boyfriend because he asked me out. He went straight forward and he's a terribly shy person. It took him 2 weeks to confess, but yeah, do it. I am his first girlfriend and he's almost 28.

How well did you know him beforehand? In what context did he ask you? What words did he use if you remember? Where was he when he asked you?

I want to cuddle and kiss cute girls, I want to fuck sexy girls until my dick falls off.

The best explanation of "cute" I've come up with is "small (in some way) and attractive because of the qualities associated with that smallness".

Sexy is more "attractive due to physical qualities fairly directly associated with sexual intercourse or sexual attraction". So ample breasts, child-bearing hips, full lips, long hair.

Often, "cute" and "sexy" can overlap, and when guys call girls cute, they usually mean qualities in this overlap. So, a girl with some "small" quality that makes him aroused, perhaps due to the implication of frailty triggering the masculine instinct to protect. In this usage, "cute" can also mean some qualities you might call "childlike", such as an obsession with the color pink (which in turn is cute because, I think, the protection drive that men get).

I'm sorry it has to be like that, but you literally got to grow a pair of balls and fucking do it. The first time I got together with somebody, it was actually because they asked me to go to a dance with them so they're not lonely. Granted, that sign was REALLY obvious, but she didn't ask me out to later events or anything. I instinctively felt like I either make my move or she's going to move on. Took me a little time but after 3 days of just talking I asked her for coffee. I also established solid communication with her for those three days. The worst part? Saying you want to get coffee with her. Don't fuck up when asking her to get coffee and your chances go up 1000-fold. Don't specify when, ask her instead for when she's available. Make sure it works for you too. Work on hanging out more and more until you know she's into you 100% and it'll work out.

I tend to use sexy to describe more physical priorities. A woman in a bikini is sexy.
A woman who got a new hairstyle looks cute.

Girls

I worry about a potential partners past sex count. I don’t expect to be her first, but I really don’t want to be #5-6-7 or 8

What do I do

We "knew" each other for 5 years through online chat although we never talked to each other a lot, we were in that chat group about video games, about 10-12 people. However my boyfriend lives on the other side of the country (not a big country) and only get to meet him 5 years later, when we organized a trip to Japan as a group. We had to share hotel rooms together by rolling dices, and we ended up in the same room. We get to know each other quite a lot every night by talking and playing video games (and it was around that time he fell in love with me). He actually waited for the last days of the trip as the group was splitting up (some people had to go back earlier because of work), making sure that we were both alone. Before confessing he insisted going to a bar and drink (he later admitted he did this to make his confession easier) and when we returned to the hotel, he said something like "Well you guys appreciate how straightforward I am, so here we go, I am fully in love with you", grabbed my hand, and asked me if it bothered me. That's it.

What if she doesnt like the idea of a coffee date though? What if she thinks im cliched and boring for suggesting such a simple, americanised romantic comedy style date?

God he sounds simultaneously like 10 times more of a nerd than me, and 10 times more of a chad than me. I could never muster up that kind of confidence even several beers down

Sometimes I think I should just give up, maybe life just isnt for me... God cursed me

>Have you 2 fucked?

no but we’ve kissed and cuddled in bed. i’ve also jerked him off and sucked his dick. and he’s fingered me. never full on intercourse though.

Don't give up. I don't know how old are you but I think he's a good example "overall". You can try "practicing" on some women you deem interesting. Meet more people, and make it grow, don't go too fast. I think that knowing each other more or less for 5 years helped a lot, and I am not saying you have to wait for 5 years. Maybe a couple of months instead of days or weeks.

what if you find a girl you want to do both with?

just find a girl who hasn’t slept with many guys, they do exist.

That's funny, because the girl I cut off later became my friend's girlfriend. Was awkward but I would literally reject talking to her even with my friends around. Personally, that was worth it for me. Then again, our relationship ended in arguing, so maybe it was different in your case.

I personally haven't. I know a few girls who I would love to fuck, but would never marry. Those are the sexy ones. I'm friends with a girl so cute that I would like to cuddle with her forever. I want to fuck her too but it's not a priority and I wouldn't mind if we just kissed and cuddled forever.

Now there's another type of girls. I've only met two of them, but they exist, women so gorgeous that it makes me respect them more than the others. Both were so perfect that it would feel wrong to fuck them, and all I could wish for was marrying them. Those are the beautiful girls.

That would be ideal. I’ve just been having a hard time finding that. I’ll meet a girl, we’ll go out for a few weeks. She’ll seem really nice. But after a few weeks she’ll make a move toward sex. I’ll say how I would rather us wait a few months and then they always act all weird. Then they ask if I’m a Virgin. I say no, and then they question how many people I’ve been with.

It’s really fuckinng frustrating.

>What if she thinks im cliched and boring for suggesting such a simple, americanised romantic comedy style date?
Then she's a shitty girl and you wouldn't have gotten a first date with her no matter what you did.

The first date is coffee. The whole purpose of the first date is to get to know each other better and gauge each other's interests so you can determine whether a second date is worthwhile, and if so, what that date will be.

I can't overstress how important it is that you default to coffee for the first date. There is a reason why it's so common. Coffeehouses are small, public places with lots of witnesses (unlike parks and event venues); they're good places to have conversations (conversation is appropriate unlike libraries and theaters, but not hampered by excessive noise like bars and clubs); the cost per coffee date is low (so you can have many in a week, as you should), and because they're so acceptable to so many women you generally don't worry about an objection; they're casual (unlike clubs or art galleries or fancy dinners) without being sloppy (unlike dive bars); and because making out and sex aren't the norm there (unlike clubs and similar dating spots), and the length of the date can vary at will (you can go 15 minutes or 2 hours, no problem) the pressure is not super high.

Don't reinvent the wheel. At least not until you have actual experience under your belt. Yes, there may be a girl at some point where you will skip the coffee date. I've had those cases. They are very uncommon, and honestly, it wouldn't have been wrong to have the coffee date as well as whatever we ended up doing for the first date.

Ladies
talking to a girl in class and I've asked her out before, she's said yes but whenever I text her about it she takes forever to respond and ends up not answering
Usually I would just think she's not interested anymore and I'd leave it at that but she's still friendly and social in class, laughs at jokes, generally stuff that doesnt say "I'm not into you" through actions
So far I've tried texting her three times with pretty much the same results.
Should I just move on or just stick to talking in class. I also have suspicions she might be slightly autistic

I dunno, it's just that I really have never heard of anyone actually going on a coffee date.

Most friends of mine who are in relationships, they just sort of "happened". There doesn't seem to have been a formal dating process, they just sort of gravitated together, almost magically, maybe netflix and chilled or some shit, I don't know. But i've never heard of anyone actually going on a coffee date

This is why i'm so scared. Why hasnt it "just happened" for me yet? Why arent any girls gravitating to me like they do to my guy friends?

>I really have never heard of anyone actually going on a coffee date.
What the fuck? Do you live under a rock?
>Most friends of mine who are in relationships, they just sort of "happened". There doesn't seem to have been a formal dating process, they just sort of gravitated together, almost magically, maybe netflix and chilled or some shit, I don't know.
See, there’s no formal process with the coffee date either. That’s why it works so well.

Believe me, the couples you see? There was some degree of casual dating before a relationship started. You either weren’t there or didn’t get the whole story from both sides. The beauty of casual dating is just that: It looks like you’re just hanging out more and more together until you wind up being exclusive.

Think of something else that's really casual like a coffee date besides movies.
You also need to kinda establish her as a friend a few weeks to months in advance. Doesn't have to be too close, but just a good acquaintance, so she trusts you, etc.
That's why the coffee date works.

I asked this a couple days ago but need advice.

I have fallen for a girl I work with who already has a long term partner. The issue is we were flirting before the fact she had a BF came up and our flirting hasn't really stopped.

We talk over snapchat/messenger every morning and night and we talk a lot in person at work as well. I literally feel like shit waiting for her to reply and every time she does my mood increases.

I've brought it up in this thread a few times in the past and the general consensus was that she does like me and she is keeping me as a back up but it has been a few months of the same shit and it is taking a toll on me. The first thing i do when i wake up is reply to her messages and its the last thing I do when I go to sleep. Chatting to her is the first thing I do when I get to work and the last thing i do before i leave. it feels like my life is currently revolving around her.

I get home from work and all I can do is watch Youtube and browse the web between her replies. We talk into the early hours of the morning nearly every night.

If you haven't guessed I'm a pretty shy and socially inept person.

I don't even know what help I am actually asking for. Help in getting over her or ways to wait out her current relationship imploding (if it ever happens)

IDK.

Yeah but for me, things just aren't happening naturally. If I asked a girl on a coffee date or whatever, it'd be very forced. It'd seem very out of the blue.

You have to understand. I've kept this whole dateless virgin thing a big secret. There are maybe two friends I've told about it. And those friends were kind of shocked, they didn't expect it at all. One of my friends even had a weird reaction where he kept insisting that he remembered me going on a date with a girl, and insisted I was lying about being so inexperienced. But it never happened, I've never ever in my whole life been on anything even resembling a date.

No one has ever seen me be romantically or intimately involved with a girl. I've never been seeing kissing a girl at a party or in a club. The usual rumor mill of college, where people gossip about who has made out with or slept with who, has never involved me. I'm deathly afraid that people might think I'm gay or something. Not that it's bad. But if girls mistakenly think I'm gay, they probably won't want to date me.

I don't know. I'm just terrified that if I ask a girl out people will make a massive deal out of it. I'm terrified that my social circle has just accepted me as some kind of asexual entity, and they'll freak out if I ask someone out. And the girl might say no because she knows I've never asked a girl out before, and she'll have already sorted me into her head as a "no" because she presumed I was asexual or gay or something. Or the girl will just be super freaked out that I of all people have made a move on her.

Everything you just said was bullshit. Every last word.

It’s as simple as talking to a girl you’ve known for a week or two like describes, having a conversation, and saying “Hey I’ve got to go, but I’d like to continue this conversation. Let’s get coffee on Tuesday after class!”

That’s literally all there is to it.

Going off my own experience and observations, it's possible he might be dating multiple people. Especially if you two aren't official.

That, or he's more about the chase. Does he get distant after you two mess around?

I dont have any girls that I've only known for a week or two. I only have the few dozen girls in my social circle, extended social circle, and/or my classes at college. And all of those I've known for quite some time. So its too late to ask them out

and before you say it, Tinder didnt work. I got a lot of matches but when i messaged some they didnt respond to my messages, so I gave up

Sometimes, making it a big deal works in your favor.
Also sorry, but always worrying that some nigger faggot thinks that you're gay is pretty gay. And that's why you can't get a girl. Stop worrying what they think. If it doesn't work, suck it up and cry about it or whatever. Vent it to your parents. Move on.

Then meet new girls. Meet them in class. Whatever. What I want to know is why you’re being intentionally obtuse about this.

Also you must’ve really fucked up Tinder. I bet you were saying cringe shit in your openers and never adjusted your banter.

Feel crappy, desu

literally gave you the best line you could use. Even I couldn't come up with something so fucking simple and beautiful.

Today I was hanging out with friends and she was there, as usual. A few months ago I was obsessed with her, to the point that I'd spend entire weekends thinking about her. But today, she was there, she pressed her body against mine on two occasions, she talked to me, we sang karaoke together, and I felt nothing. Two weeks ago I was thinking about asking her out, and now I don't feel anything anymore.

Is that normal ? Am I pussying out of asking her out by not caring or is it a good thing that I don't care anymore ?

Thanks lol. It’s the distilled results of a few months of Tinder practice three years ago. I basically never got turned down for a coffee date when I asked that way.

>Also you must’ve really fucked up Tinder. I bet you were saying cringe shit in your openers and never adjusted your banter.

Nah. I just sort of made references to their bios, saying something tongue and cheek in a few words to open. No response. One girl responded but didnt give me much to work with so I stopped messaging her. Other 4, just no response. Gave up and deleted tinder. Cursed god again for making my life like this

I'm being obtuse because this is my life's struggle, to escape dateless virginity, and I just can't do it. God is working against me every step of the way

Do your feelings come and go?
It's possible you're attracted to the idea of being with her, rather than being with her specifically.

How do I tell if a girl sees me as a friend or a romantic interest?

This girl goes out of her way to see and hang out with me. But there hasn't been any overt flirting going on so I can't tell if she's being friendly or not.

When I told her we should goto the beach when we have a day off, she instead told me she had plans with her friends to goto the movies and invited me to hang with her and her friends that day. Am I being strung along Jow Forums?

Your description already tells me your relationship is strictly platonic.
Ask her out on a real date if you want an honest answer.

Wait wait wait, you call 5 matches a lot?

Lmfao. Come on dude. I had dozens. And there were plenty who didn’t respond. That shit happens. Get past it.

No. I had more matches than that. I only messaged 5 before i gave up

Not really, they've been there constantly for a few months. But this week I decided to take back control of my life, so I think it might come from that. I decided that I need nothing and nobody, I set a precise goal and will do anything to achieve it. Went back to the gym, bought some clothes, cut my hair and beard. I think in that list of things that needed to change I included my feelings for her, and I'm not sure if it's a good thing ?

If she were to ask me out, I think I'd say yes with no hesitation, but I'm wary about asking her out myself. A fear of exposing my weak side, maybe.

Yep. That’s going in my cringe compilation. You need to message every match you get. The practice is invaluable, far more important than any dates you might get.

The girl I like at work sort of admitted to me that some nights after getting home from her second job she will drink a whole bottle of wine.

Should I be worried?