Hey all. So I've been doing some soul searching about my goals, and have decided that having my first child in my mid 20s (no later than 26) is a huge priority for me.
I'm currently 20 and in college. I'm in a committed relationship with a man (21) I will likely marry within the next few years. He definitely wants kids as well, though is not too worried about the timeline.
My question is: how can my partner and I plan/prepare ourselves financially to achieve this while creating a great living environment for the child(ren)? House in a decent neighborhood, little trips here and there, starting a college fund. My current savings aren't fantastic (~$7,000), but considering that I've been working minimum wage most of the time and bought a ~14k car not so long ago, I don't think it's terrible. Saving is very important to me, so I'll keep working whenever I'm not studying to save for the future. Any other tips would be appreciated. Thanks!
(pic unrelated)
Get married + have kids young(ish)?
Start investing, hopefully you are majoring in something that isn't a meme. Your savings are actually pretty great for your age, most have no savings.
>hopefully you are majoring in something that isn't a meme
A meme to some, I'm sure. Not STEM haha.
I'm getting a ton of job + internship experience though.
>Start investing
I included the 3k I have in stocks in my savings. Any advice for other investments? Or good places to get info?
>have decided that having my first child in my mid 20s (no later than 26) is a huge priority for me.
>He definitely wants kids as well
Absolutely pathetic. I sincerely do not understand what goes in the head of people like this. Why in the world would you like to give your 20s to a stupid, ungrateful child? Do people actually think that having a kid is like what does movies show it to be? A kid is just a crying thing, walking around a shitting all the time. Also, will break your stuff as often as possible.
Just get a dog. This makes me angry.
Good job op, I envy you.
Is your bf life as solid as your?
What is your major?
I'm older and I'm not near as accomplished as you are. Keep it up. I wish you a happy life.
That's good, experience goes a long way in job hunting, speaking as someone whose had to sort through dozens of resumes.
this thread is just one giant humble brag
Shot bait OP.
Chill out, retard.
>Is your bf life as solid as your?
His life is solid. Still figuring out career stuff, but he's a really smart, confident, likable guy and I know he'll do well. I'm a little biased though, loving him to death and all.
>What is your major?
Communications
And thank you for your kind words! I believe in you, user.
statistically if you marry this man you will likely divorce him. most marriages before 25 do not end well.
>getting married
>having kids
I'm aware of statistics. Divorce is not an option for me.
Well as early marriage is set to obvious failure, having kids will steal your last chance to ever start your life again and so on participate in the trap we called marriage.
Hope she's worth the pension and being stuck with her for the rest of your life because, I rather withdraw being diforced then with kids to top that off.
I mean yeah you’re not married yet. If you’re willing to get married this early why not wait?
>divorce is not an option
Just because you think you won't get divorced, doesn't mean you won't. Nobody marries expecting to get divorced later on. Be realistic. Marriage is a joke.
I think the first thing you should do is make sure that your boyfriend wants the same long term goals as you. You don't want to make these plans in your head and then come to find out that he doesn't want that at all and bail.
Make sure your settled into your career, even just a year or two, assuming your an American, to make sure your benefits are in place and you've got some vacation time to use in conjuction with your maternity leave. Savings are important but I'd say it's more important to get your debt as low as possible to eliminate a monthly payment.
I think it's admirable that you wanna plan a head. I've been with my husband for 13 years total between dating and marriage, and I wish I had a little more foresight to think ahead. I'm a mom of 2, had them at 26 and 28 respectively, and I do wish I had them a few years younger just so I have more energy. Then again, I went for a totally dumbass degree at the urging of my parents (arts) so I'm a fully time mom and student to have a more practical career.
>why not wait?
Because I don't want to wait until my late 20s to have kids, and I certainly would not have kids before marriage.
Good point about my boyfriend, but to clarify, he 100% wants to get married and have kids.
He just isn't as specific about a timeline as I am, but is good with mine as long as we have the financial means.
>Savings are important but I'd say it's more important to get your debt as low as possible to eliminate a monthly payment.
True, but I would really like to live in a house (nothing super big or flashy) before having kids if at all possible... might be wishful thinking, though. Need to research if this would be achievable and where.
Good for you for going back to school. And 26 and 28 is not very old at all IMO; my mom was 31 when she had me and my boyfriend's mom was ~40 but he turned out quite alright :) He has mentioned to his family that we want to have kids somewhat early and they weren't too thrilled about that.
Did you work throughout your pregnancy and/or your kids' infancy? Would love to hear about your experience + any tips for balancing it all.
Why is that not an option for you?
If you rush into having kids for the sake of having kids you're putting yourself in a position where you'll sacrifice things such as financial or emotional security. Also realize that having kids will not absolutely ensure happiness. The worst thing to do is depend wholly upon your children for being happy or even content. That's selfishness disguised in selflessness.
>Why is that not an option for you?
Against my values. I would never get married with someone I didn't feel 100% confident I would want to spend the rest of my life with.
>If you rush into having kids for the sake of having kids you're putting yourself in a position where you'll sacrifice things such as financial or emotional security. Also realize that having kids will not absolutely ensure happiness. The worst thing to do is depend wholly upon your children for being happy or even content. That's selfishness disguised in selflessness.
This might be bait, but do note that I didn't say WHY I want to start having kids at a younger age. I won't go into all of the reasons because that's not what this thread is about, but the top reason easily is that both of our families have a history of pregnancy complications when they have kids later in life (~30+).
And I am glad to say that I have a very happy and fulfilling life. I would also loathe the idea of someone having kids as some kind of antidepressant.
Just wanted to make sure that's not why you're getting into it.