Please be honest, do guys like this exist?

you’d better be hot or rich.

people are stupid, but somebody out there is bound to have the right attitude. you'll get lucky eventually.

They exist but you're looking for the "best" of men. They usually have lots of potential mate, so the competition is fierce.
Make sure you're pretty and you're life is in order. Once you met someone of your standard go in for the kill.
Keep looking and find someone before your looks fade. As your look fade your attractiveness decrease and mister right might pass you over.

Why is that? Respect and love is only for the hot and rich?

I'm glad for you user.

I'm not counting on it.

I don't even feel my standards are that high. I'm not looking for a rich man or even a handsome man...I'd even accept an employed guy if he was the right guy. It's not about looks or money, it's about love.

My looks are alright but I would never settle for a guy who was about looks.

hot and rich girls get guys like Christian Grey....not some average guy.

Have you ever met one (1) good man by your standard? Good people usually hang out with other good people. Bird of a feather flock together.

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>I need someone that is strong but not a jerk. I want to lead in the areas that I'm good at and for him to lead in the areas where he shines. I find this extremely hard to find in guys.
protip: this is extremely hard to find in guys and girls because you're asking for someone who is strong where you are flawed and flawed where you are strong. That is a very rare thing to find.

>In this way, I just mirror him. So if he starts checking out other women in front of me, I do the same for men. If he starts flirting with other women, I do the same with men.
you also deal with this really badly. If something bothers you you don't start imitating it, that's just retarded and guarantees the relationship will end when you could have tried discussing the issue and working through it.

You sound a bit immature still.

I've met a few but not been a relationship with them so I don't know how they are really. I've seen my friends in good relationships.

>for someone who is strong where you are flawed and flawed where you are strong. That is a very rare thing to find.
Not really. I am more artistic and so someone who is scientific is a match. It doesn't have to be 100%.

>you don't start imitating it, that's just retarded and guarantees the relationship will end
I did discuss it and it was still done. The only way to truly teach someone is for them to feel it themselves. Once they felt it, they couldn't handle it.

>Why do guys expect loyalty when they can't do the same?
>This never ends well because there is always the expectation that he can and I can't.

In the off chance this isn't bait then you are at fault here for falling for a particular type of guy time and again. Btw checking out is normal for both men and women. Only checking out.

>or they are too arrogant and won't take a thing I say seriously (they are usually blind to how stupid they are).

What if you're stupid and that is the reason you're not being listened to but you're blind to it because you're arrogant? It could be the case.

Men and women are not the same and never will be. Best thing is to understand our natural traits and play our roles according to them. Men are natural conquerors. 'A key that can open many locks is a good key, But a lock that could be opened by many keys is a bad lock.'
My understanding of this reality is the secret for my healthy relationship with my boyfriend. I'm submissive to the strong man he is and he loves me, Protects me and provides for me in return.

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unemployed...sorry

>Only checking out.
Who are you kidding? It's not normal, it means they want someone else. Fast forward 20 years with this person....I guarantee it will no longer be just checking out.
>What if you're stupid
Looks like you're the abusive arrogant type I was referring to.

I find it sad that you have no self-worth and excuse men for promiscuous behavior. That guy you're with... he's cheating on you and he always will be. No thanks. I would rather be single.

Can you define your ideal a little more? I'm not sure what you mean by the first paragraph, the second is just a call for a long term relationship, and in the third you're talking about a type you don't want. What do you want? Where are you strong? Where are you not? What do you do for fun? What are your goals in life? Do you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain?

Haha.

I'm naturally strong but also vulnerable. By strong I mean I will stand up to injustice, for my loved ones. I'm brave and protect what I love.

I'm vulnerable because I love. I'm sensitive, artistic, moved by the arts intensely. I love deeply.

I love animals and children, nature, art. A natural nurturer.

sounds like a tinder profile

I don't know if I can define my ideal. Someone strong, fun and easygoing. Not someone who gives into their lower nature all the time. Someone who strives to be good. Sometimes I can be emotional and illogical but I need someone who can weather those storms and put things in perspective. Analyze and make sense of things, problem-solve without being completely obnoxious and insensitive.

I've never been on tinder so I wouldn't know. ;)

You understood it the wrong way. He has never cheated on me. He never hurts my feelings. He is respectable and knows how to treat a woman. At the end of the day I live a happy life with a good man I love and that's all I wish for.

No, it means they're not wearing blinkers. People look around them. They check out the competition, they read faces and body language, they check out the norm in trends, or they appreciate something genuinely nice like they would with statues of gods in the museum. Hell, they might even have a professional reason to study others such as being artists and modelers. My gf and I both check others out and comment on them. Sometimes I feel insecure and that pushes me to continue improving.
You're so insecure and controling that even looking at another woman is perceived as a threat. And anyone suggesting you might be in the wrong is abusive(!) and arrogant.

If he is looking elsewhere, he always will. I will wait for a man who loves only me. I want something like johnny & june, romeo & Juliet...I don't want some slut, I'm worth more.

I also didn't misunderstand the double standard.

It is hard to find for sure but I have met exactly two guys like this in my life. First was a friend and second I fell in love with.

I think I met them on a stroke of luck but also because I was just looking for someone to talk to about my troubles and they really listened and understood, and that's the first sign of a decent guy.

That's amazing, I'm really happy for you sister. I wish I could find the same. :(

There are men that exist to fill your needs, but you'll have to look for them. Ease up on the checking out thing, but let the dude know where your boundaries are beforehand. Anybody you're looking for worth their salt isn't going to need a deep conversation about it. The mirroring thing comes off as petty. People check each other out, same and opposite sex. This is about as far as it should go in a committed relationship. Much further and you're leading the person on.
You'll probably have the most luck meeting people organically. Clubs, classes, meetups, through friends; that kind of thing. Tinder is for hookups.
What are you looking for outside of personality?

Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy and Johnny cash cheated on his wife for june. That first sentence is pretty ironic in this context. Many men do not cheat at all. You only ever hear about the ones who do.

Why is it petty when I do what he does??

That is the opposite of petty! I'm not going to put up with shit he does.

>Johnny cash cheated on his wife for june.

> Many men do not cheat at all.

You need to rethink your life and posts.

All I care about is personality. Unfortunately what I want doesn't exist as demonstrated by these responses.

Please, Jow Forums isn't where you should expect normal mentally healthy people

I know lots of guys like that. They are in healthy relationship. I can say they are truly happy and about to start families.

Yeah, I get that. I'm here for reasons unbeknownst to you.

Right...well if any become single, pls let me know.

I'm like that but I'm ugly

That sounds good, except you think you're ugly.

Instead of talking about it with him, you just start mirroring to hurt him into stopping a behavior you find unpleasant.
Your sample size is one fictional couple and one flawed one. This does not prove your point.
To be fair, this is the most concrete thing we have to go on. Jow Forums isn't known for especially moral people.

Who says you deserve that though? What makes you so great?

Sounds like my relationship with my wife.

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>mirroring to hurt him
Excuse me? He did this to ME in the first place. How is that excusable in your view?
>Your sample size is one fictional couple and one flawed one.
No, those are two I chose to discuss. You aren't very bright making those false assumptions.
>Jow Forums isn't known for especially moral people.
You're a case in point. Thanks.

Do you have strong moral?
I know it's something that attracted them to their gf.
youtu.be/RLhK2WQ5-XM

I say that. So do many others. I'm sorry that offends you that I have confidence. Get some yourself and you might not be so critical/hateful.

Yes, I have strong morals.

Great!
It doesn't sound like your personality is the problem. Where do you usually meet people?

That remind me of my ex boyfriend & I have ruined everything FUKKKKKKKKKKKKK

>I just want something real and I just want love but it doesn't seem to exist anymore. What do you think?
No, what you want doesn't exist and has never existed. youtu.be/tgBIPZSwi20

>The only way to truly teach someone is for them to feel it themselves.
It's also a really good way to piss someone off.

>How is that excusable in your view?
If its inexcusable behavior, then you shouldn't be doing it.
If a man cheats on his wife, he belongs in a ditch, it doesn't mean she should cheat right back. That would simply mean she belongs next to him.

Op, would you mind giving details of your ideal relationship with specific example? I'm intrigued in your point of view.
I always wanted a relationship where both partners were working together to build a strong family while they helped the other get toward their own personal goal.
A life worth living.

>In this way, I just mirror him. So if he starts checking out other women in front of me, I do the same for men. If he starts flirting with other women, I do the same with men.

you dumbass lol. just dump them, why waste time?

Relationships require patience. A lot

It doesn't offend me at all, I just doubt there's anything that special about you.

They exist. Out of curiosity, how old are you? I never had a boyfriend until 23, when I found an amazing guy at work. He was 29 at the time.

In my experience guys under 25 are how you described, so if you're still in highschool or college, don't get your hopes up. Better to wait a bit and find a man who's worth it, rather than getting into a shitty relationship that will only leave you hurt. Also, avoid Tinder, bars or any other place where you will mostly find immature guys with commitment issues.

the other chick said that you have the control to find a man like that or to make your man act like a man should by not just having masculine standards for him but feminine standards for yourself. did you understand that?

>lead in the areas you're good at

lol, we'll humor you and let you 'lead' because it's adorable and nice to see you be good at things and maybe teach us a thing or two but

>leading

no lol, you don't want an equal relationship, but you do want a guy who can lead you and who will humor you

Thing about dating is: it sucks.

It’s fucking hard to find someone who matches on all the things you find important, because different things are important to different people.

Even further than that, maybe you say that all of that stuff is important to you doesn’t sound like it should be all to find in another individual, and maybe it’s not, but perhaps the way other people express those values is different to the way you, or perhaps they value certain things slightly more or les than you do, and that small difference is enough that it makes it appear that not everything lines up like it should.

One of the things that always important to keep in mind when it comes to dating is that:
1.) You need to keep and open mind, because not everything is always as it appears to be, and sometimes the things you believe are important to you aren’t, or can even express themselves in ways you never imagined.
2.) You are constantly evolving and what is important to you today, may not seem as important to you tomorrow.the same can be true of your partner.
3.) It’s a numbers game. Meeting someone who is a match on all the important things is not an easy process and you’re going to have to do a lot of searching, and perhaps even some compromising from time to time, til you find them.

Not a good idea to post that in inceland but im very sure that there are people like what you're describing out there but it's very hard to find because it requires a moral threshold+attraction for both parties.

That was good and I agree with it for the most part. I have my own life and I would actually resent a partner that didn't allow me to do as I please. I am independent that way and I have my own path. I would never be with someone that would want to interfere with that.

I simply want someone to compliment me in life's big decisions and problems. So, for example, if I do something really stupid and need help, they could be there to help. If someone knows you well, they could tell you things that you don't even recognize in yourself. Alternatively, I could do the same for them.

I just see it as a compliment, exactly as you describe. Life is really difficult to navigate, it would be nice to have someone to compliment my life. Someone who really knows me and wants the best for me.

I think I'm really good at observing human interaction and understanding the motivation behind it. I could help my partner really see what he was doing in that area, if he was stuck. To do so would help him overcome hurdles that were holding him back so he didn't repeat the same mistakes over and over.

For me, I sometimes get stuck in emotional states that I'm sure are very obvious to someone else. When I'm in those states it's difficult to see the light. So if he knew me well, he could help me see the start of that. It could be from my cycle, hormones making me sad etc. I could probably see it myself, it would be nice though to have someone else around to help me.

In terms of interacting with the outside world, he might be better at negotiating, while I might be better at putting the pressure on certain personalities if they are unreasonable. Things like that. It would be fun to be able to discuss situations together and move through life in the best way possible.

Those are just a few examples.

feelings?

You sound like an abusive person. Definitely someone I would avoid.

>perhaps the way other people express those values is different to the way you, or perhaps they value certain things slightly more or les than you do

That is a good point. Your entire reply was helpful. Thanks!

>it requires a moral threshold+attraction for both parties.
Yes, that's true. It seems like hard work. Working through lust, working through jealousy, etc This is what I want though...someone willing to do that with me.

Target creature gets +2/+2

I'm actually probably the last person to abuse others, but whatever helps you.

My husband is exactly like that. And, despite what that user said, we met on Jow Forums.
We complement each other and take care of each other thanks to that. Our relationship works well because we cooperate well.
We are crazy about each other and never wanted anyone else. We don't look at porn, don't even really talk to the opposite gender that much, we dedicate ourselves fully to our relationships and our family.
12 years in, totally happy.

I hope you live a happy life, femanon. Good on you.

Id like that. Im defiently too big of a pussy at first though, i gotta work on that. I'm to indecisive to oh what bar should we go to or where do you wanna sit in the movies, fuck it dont matter I just gotta act. Probably acted like that cuz I was baked, wont make those mistakes again and gonna lay off the herby

Literally majority of guys is like what you described but they get looked over because they are usually not really good looking

It's not true. Most guys are not nice people.
I dated a guy. 4/10 at most, but seemed kind and genuine. Dated him for 5 months. He was cheating on his wife with me.
Went on two dates with a guy. Average in looks, complete nerd. He told a mutual friend (he didn't know he was a mutual friend) that he just wanted to go out with me to lose his virginity but I wasn't pretty enough to seriously date.

These are the people who are out there, user.

>Went on two dates with a guy. Average in looks, complete nerd. He told a mutual friend (he didn't know he was a mutual friend) that he just wanted to go out with me to lose his virginity but I wasn't pretty enough to seriously date.
What people say to their "friends" isnt necessarily true but in that case yeah id drop that fucker. I mean i call my pesudo gf my bitch behind her back but shes the furthest thing from one.

And do you think it's nice? Would you like if your girlfriend went around and told her friends you're awful in bed, even if it's not true?

I never say anything about my boyfriend unless it's nice.

Where did you meet these guys?

The first one talked to me because I was reading a book he liked in a cafe. We really did click.
The second one was a classmate.

Incel cope. You're not ugly on the outside, you're ugly on the inside.

The only ugly person here is you for projecting and assuming things without even knowing me

>Why can't I just have a normal, well-adjusted individual who's going to be my perfect, Goldilocks mix of sexy aggressiveness and intimate deference?

Because life's a complete fucking nightmare and it probably took all of that boy's courage just to get to the point where he can even enter the dating market.
Something I really dislike about most women is their mindset towards relationships. "What can he do for me? How can he support me? How can he excite me?" You want a man that respects you, but you don't have the slightest respect for men. You don't understand how expendable they are, or what happens to one of your friendly, happy males when they don't have the resources and social support necessary to preserve that way of being.

And then you hit 30 and start to feel the slightest drop of that expendable insignificance. Someone told me to go after women in that bracket once, because they "know what they want" after that point.

>I never say anything about my boyfriend unless it's nice
Wow women have really ramped up the lies on here lately.

I genuinely don't.
I'm not saying *all* women are like this, but I never said a bad word about my boyfriend to anyone but my therapist and my boyfriend.

OP here. I haven't been looking at all the responses yet but are you directing your statements towards me? If so that doesn't ring true at all for me.

Also, why do you feel it takes so much courage to "enter the dating market" ? Do all males really lack courage?

being a jerk is the direct result of what you are looking for. you can find someone in the middle, but the fact remains that this is an axis of passive to aggressive. You can't find a guy who is aggressive in everything except the way he treats you, it's the same as a guy looking for a girl who has never kissed a man but wants to suck his dick on the first date.

Seriously? It's called assertive. lol

you might be aiming to high, hypergamy doesn't work with a high demand and a low worth. if not then somewhere in the world it's up in the air there's no where on a map called great guy land life's a mixed bag and the older you get the more m&m's have been pulled out of the trail mix send Brad Pitt a letter with a kiss mark and glitter assault Chris Evans with a free cantaloupe give Ben aflack a kiss goodnight then run while the house alarm goes off

What the hell are you talking about?
The guys I would consider would be losers by many women's definitions (I don't care about looks or money). I am not looking for Brad Pitt. I'm looking for a decent person.

SQUATS
AND
OATS

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How can you not care about looks? I'm genuinely curious. Do you truly not care if the person has busted teeth, crooked face, obese or something like that?
Everytime I hear someone say they don't care for looks, I immediately become apprehensive about them