Hello! I’m 23 (F) and I need some adivice. My 22 boyfriend prefers to masterbate to girls he knows on Facebook over having a sexual relationship with me.
We have been dating around 2 and a half years, we live together but don’t do anything sexual anymore. It just died, we have sex maybe once a month (if I’m lucky). I often offer to do stuff but he will turn it down every time - so much so that I just start to stop asking.
He will watch porn every time I leave the house as well as use Facebook pictures of girls he knows.
I don’t mind the porn, but the pictures of girls he knows really upsets me.
If you really want to be with him try counselling first. Otherwise just leave. Unless he's going through some trauma there's no excuse for his behavior.
Thomas Wood
‘I don’t mind the porn, but the pictures of girls he knows really upsets me.’ - maybe I phased the wrong. - I mean him using the Facebook pictures upsets me, although he isn’t aware.
Gavin Butler
Op here again. I would also like to state that’s he’s always been very controlling regarding the pictures I post on my Instagram. He dosn’t like skin showing etc etc. It makes sense now knowing that he jerks off to people he knows. Maybe he thinks other guys do this?
Isaac Cook
Two options. Leave him, he obviously has issues, and I doubt it's your fault OR have a threesome. It can be a great experience to being people together. You two can have a great time with other people together. bring it up and see what he thinks. You can have some great NSA sex while not getting into trouble. That way you two have the chance to do crazy things without having to worry about your partner leaving you for someone else. Just tell him you want to have a guy over too. he gets his. you get yours. even one threesome can reignite the passion between you both. Some of the best sex my wife and I have had has been the weeks/months after a threesome.
Nobody should be watching porn in a relationship. Why is he lusting and masturbating to other women? So stupid how some women tolerate this.
Noah Ramirez
Typical porn addiction. Break up with him and if he will ask why, say its because he prefers virtual facebook pussy over your own.
Samuel Thompson
That 2nd option isn’t gonna work for me. Just like the other guy said, I would be a cuck. I understand threesomes can be amazing under the correct circumstances but this isn’t the case. It would be me saying, ‘oh you don’t want to sleep with me, here’s someone else for you to have. I know you like it because u jack off to her pictures :) don’t mind me, I’ll be in the corner watching :)’
Hudson Hall
Due to not being allowed too post ‘showing’ pictures, I was going to post one. He will have an argument (like clock work when I post a picture) and I was going to say something along the lines of him masterbating to it. I know it’s petty but I feel like it would knock sense into him?
Luke Young
Women marry man thinking he will change. Men marry woman thinking she will never change. BOTH ARE IDIOTS.
No, you CAN NOT change behavior of your boyfriend. It doesnt matter if its alcohol, porn, vidia, unemployment or wife beating addiction. As long as you stay with him his brain will percieve his current behavior is good enough to attract woman. He wont change until you boot his sorry ass away. >inb4 so he can change if i leave? Maybe yes, maybe no. But in both case you wont be around long enough to see it.
Maybe you are too young to think about long term relationship and are with him just so you can claim you have bf to your virgin femcel friends with smug smile. But remember: he wont change as long as you will be around.
Hey op, it sounds like you‘re really frustrated and might even question your attractivity. That‘s a horrible feeling and i really hope you zwo find a solution that works for both of you. From what you‘ve written, i feel like he might not get what he needs when you two have sex. Please don‘t get me wrong, i‘m sure he thinks you‘re hot/cute/desireable/beautiful. What i think is going on is that there‘s something off and he‘s too afraid to tell you because he doesn‘t want to hurt your feelings. I can only makes guesses here, but there are a lot of things that could not be what he would need from you. Maybe he feels like you‘re not being 100% genuine. Maybe you‘ve faked an orgasm before. Maybe he doesn‘t feel desired by you. Maybe it isn‘t about the sex per se but about your relationship in general. Maybe he misses emotional intimacy to want to be so close to you physically. I‘d suggest you try to talk to him and make sure that you help him in any way you can to feel safe enough to be honest and express his needs. I think it is especially hard for men to get in touch with their sexual needs, as they are quick to assume that what they lack is a certain „technique“ or „stimulation“ when it is a lot more often something emotional that‘s in the way. Like not feeling good enough, not feeling wanted, not feeling loved. Please also keep in mind that the chances are HUGE that this has nothing to do with you or your actions. Maybe he has intimacy issues that he has to work on. Maybe he has low selfesteem and doesn‘t want to „burden you with his sexuality“, yadda yadda.
Aaron Howard
Thank you for the solid advice. How do you think I can bring it up to him? Before everything completely died I tried to spice up our sex life. I’ve tried to talk about maybe getting toys, what fetishes he has etc etc. All I know is that he’s got a thing for milfs and big boobs. I’m 5ft1 and pretty skinny with pretty big boobies for my body although I can’t turn myself into a milf :
Gabriel Turner
Op here, bottom statement isn’t the case. My friends don’t like him that much I would prefer I’m single due to his controlling nature. It’s not that I bitch about him it’s more things they notice. For example on a night out I had to be back before 11pm - very early but it was a gig. Because I was late (by 30mins- the show was longer than expected) he locked me out and I had to ask my friend to sleep at her house (meaning I had to explain what happened)
Jeremiah Price
How much do you weigh, op?
Samuel Nelson
>How do you think I can bring it up to him? Find a moment where you can talk uninterrupted. But don‘t be too picky. This is a touchy subject and maybe you might start „waiting for the right moment“ as an excuse to not have that talk.
>Before everything completely died I tried to spice up our sex life. I’ve tried to talk about maybe getting toys,
Some guys interpret this as „you’re not satisfying me, i need more than just you, you’re not enough“. Maybe that’s what made him shut down. Keep in mind that you’re not at fault for his reaction if this is true. You probably didn’t have that intention when you brought it up. It was his assumption. Your job would now be to take his concerns seriously but don’t see your interest in sex toys as the root of the issue. Also, if you‘re genuinely curious about them, that‘s awesome, but sex toys can never fix a problematic sexual relationship. That‘s not how sex works.
>what fetishes he has etc etc. All I know is that he’s got a thing for milfs and big boobs.
Again, fetishes are nice and exciting. But you both need to be able to distinguis between fantasy and reality. What i hear in your words is that you took jmhim revealing his fetishes as „ this is what i would want you to be“, when in fact itms just one of his fantasies. But it made you feel like you’re not living up to his needs, which i highly doubt. Don’t feel responsible for catering to his kinks. You can definitely try some role play and be playful with this information, but NEVER let it get to you as in „i’m not really what gets him going“. Again, that’s not how sex should work. I could go into detail about why guys have such specific kinks related to looks, and why it has nothing to do with them not being happy with their current partner’s looks but that would be a bit extensive.
Benjamin Gutierrez
I don’t own scales- strange I know but we never needed to buy them. I’m 5ft1. I know I have a little tummy bump but I don’t mind.
girls, never throw yourself at your boyfriends/husbands. That is the FASTEST WAY TO COMPLETELY DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
(If you're not intelligent enough to know better, then the answer is to use allure. Be desirable. Figure it out. Use your brain for one you dumb broads, just don't throw yourself at your man ever.. .unless you want him out the door)
Hunter Torres
Op, you look fantastic. But there was no need to post your body itt as it has zero correlation with the issues you‘re having with your bf, regardless of your looks. Please stop bringing yourself down.
Luis Rivera
Wow you are hot as fuck. Care to show ass or something? Or you bare tits? Your mouth?
Anyways, your big is a controlling bastard and doesn't seem like he's changing soon. Why the fuck someone hot as you stays with a retard that doesn't even fuck you but masturbates to Facebook pictures is beyond me.
Lucas Sanchez
Dump him. He's gay apparently
Tyler Clark
This.
Isaiah Anderson
Well I think we are past that point now, what am I supposed to do. I don’t even bring it up anymore.
Owen Smith
Thank you! I know, I think the issue is me thinking it a me thing but it might just be him.
Adrian Hughes
You deserve better. I can tell you are very caring and understanding but what he's doing is not okay, respect yourself. There's no reason why he should be getting off to other women, definitely not women he knows.
Also, post bobs and asss
Isaac Mitchell
I‘m more assuming that it‘s a „your relationship“ thing, which involves both of you. It sounds like you are trying to narrow the issue done to some physical thing, when it‘s probably deeper than that. Anyways, i wish you good luck, OP!
Jonathan Phillips
Thank you user! I hope to have a talk with him tonight regarding this all, how it makes me feel and how he’s feeling. I just hope it goes well.
I can assure you based on what he watches he can’t be :
Aaron Williams
Although OP here. I do have a question for you all. Is getting off too Facebook girls that you know a common thing? Regardless of being in a relationship or not**
Leo Perez
This guy just isn't good for you. He's jerking it to girls he knows over you, for what reason? And why does he have so little regard for you?
You need to be upfront with him about your feelings over this. I hate to say it, but the fapping to FB pics and controlling your Instagram usage are both huge red flags that this guy does or will cheat. Men don't act controlling like that unless they think you're going to act the way they do: like animals.
Jaxon Flores
Hello! I am going to talk to him about this tonight. Do you know how I can ask him about the Facebook thing? I’m sure it’s embarrassing to talk about for him, but I need to know why.
Matthew Barnes
ohhhh no no no no no you got it all wrong the third person will be another man
see how he feels about that aahahaha and you'll be sure to be more than satisfied after that
Haha well thanks user, but that’s not gonna help! :V
Oliver Hall
Leave that douchebag?
Chase King
Cute idea but it’s not that easy. I am way to emotionally attached at this point. Although without the sexual side of a relationship we are pretty much best friends living together.
Adam Nguyen
I'd put an orange in your ass and suck your titties so hard they'd pour Fanta all over my mouth
Christian Perez
Start saying no with him and play games, like teasing him playfully and stuff. But keep saying no everytime he insists on sex. Get some sort of concession from him before you ever have sex again. Say "if you mow the lawn tomorrow" or "if you give me a kiss first" or anything. GET something from him first. you need to quickly re-establish that your womb is actually worth something more than a pile of trash.
Robert Ross
The issue is I have nothing to say no too, he hasn’t offered sex in months or anything of the sort. I mean months, not this year once and I don’t even remember the last time. Now I can dress up cute and prance around the house but that’s not going to work. Sadly this is why I want to take the petty route, posting pictures on Instagram that I’m not allowed. Pointing out that maybe he can just jack off to them etc.
Adam Myers
Op here. Last little bump before he comes home from work and we talk about this. Last minute advice anyone?
Adrian Gutierrez
Banging body and you're not cheating on him because of morals? DUMP HIM. I'd fuck you more than your bf.
Asher Gonzalez
Your boyfriend is a faggot, I'm sorry OP
Robert Jones
Remove that white stripe on your forearm, that shit is literal cancer for your skin
How did you meet / What made you two attracted to each other? Sometimes men need to be told things bluntly, just remind him of why you're together and that if he's not interested in you others will.
Camden Flores
GET FUCKED LMAO
Joseph Powell
Wait, I’m sorry. You got home late so he LOCKED YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE?
He’s fucking abusive and controlling. Get out.
And don’t listen to Peanut Butter Whateverthefuck. There’s nothing wrong with expressing healthy desire in a relationship. This is not a problem with you, you don’t need to “perform better.” Your boyfriend is an asshole.
Daniel Baker
Some other guys do this. I did when I was a weirdo in high school but not anymore.
