Found out that several cute girls i know used to have crushes on me but i was too oblivious and missed all the signs...

We're talking about crushes here, not Jow Forums style "being in love with someone you've never even dated" bullshit

Personally I didn't notice literally any. All of these girls i had crushes on myself and thought i was super analyzing their behavior to see if they liked me back. But didnt see a single sign. Then i get told months or a year after the fact by friends of theirs that "ohhhh anonette used to have a massive crush on you..."

I'm talking about crushes as well. These girls didn't genuinely like you if they weren't willing to wait for you. It's pretty simple

Do you know what a crush is? A crush isn't "genuinely deeply held feelings", it's just someone liking you and wanting to date you potentially. Crushes are fleeting

I'm saying they didn't like you at all. It never would have meant anything, even if you pursued it. Don't beat yourself up over meaningless shit

Why are you trying to crush the last bit of hope I had left? Thanks a lot user

Look, fucker. If they wanted you for any reason beyond a fleeting, passive interest of some superficial aspect of your character, they would have waited or tried harder to let you know. Either find someone who wants you or accept that real love is hard, if not impossible to find and that it's probably better to focus on other shit

I've tried really hard my whole life but can't even get one date. Kissless dateless handholdless virgin. im gonna give up on life i think

Yeah, I know. I had lust over a girl once so much that I asked her out. She said yeah, but I shot spaghetti out of my eyes so I've given up on getting sex. There's more to life, though it's up to you to figure out what you want next. If sex is all it is, then you should probably kill yourself or get into gene editing or something

I just want to stop being a KDHV. Everything else in my life is pretty much okay. Being a KDHV drains me of all my energy whenever i think of it and makes me want to crawl up into a ball and cry

How old are you? Not trying to be an oldfag since I'm only 22. But with enough isolation except for family, I've been able to largely destroy any care I had for sex, relationships, and affection in general. I'm only interested in having kids at this point, and would be the sole reason I got with a woman. Luckily, surrogates exist so if ever have money, that desire can be fulfilled easily

Yeah i'm 22.

I'm not isolated at all, i'm very socially active. I wouldnt want to be any other way since i'm mostly an extrovert i think. But it makes being a kissless dateless handholdless virgin even more painful. Every single one of my friends has dated and kissed, even the few of them that are virgins. I dont know any other KDHVs

God I wish I was a women

Please have sex.

First of all, why the fuck do you think 'liking' someone is higher in the hierchy of affection than having a crush on someone? That seems incredibly juvenile. Stop being 8th graders.
Secondly, people's interests change with time, and need to be stimulated by action, or at least by anticipation. If there's no response, the feelings will dissipate. This should be a mystery to none. If you want a girl to fall for you, you need to put some work in. This bullshit about her either liking you or nah is selfish, ignorant and entitled bullshit. You either build attraction with women, or you don't. Them quitting their interests is in no way a miscredit to their integrity. It takes two to tango, motherfuckers.

Shut the fuck up. I don't care about sex, and I'm not interested in playing an endless game of catch and appeasement to get it. If a girl likes me, that's her problem.
How is it selfish to respect her decision to not want to be with me? I'm not entitled to her time, and if she doesn't like me enough to let me know, then all I'd be doing is wasting her time by pursuing her. She knows what she wants, not me. If her opinion on me changes, great for her.

Failing to see your own contradictions there, buddy.

>I'm not entitled to her time
Concider the fact that she nonetheless feels that her time is wasted by the time you haven't noticed her signs. In this scenario, the girl already likes you, remember? This is a thread in response to OP's
>i was too oblivious and missed all the signs
Stop missing signs. Spot being oblivious. If you don't like her back, fine, but don't come crying because you failed to see obvious signs of interest, and that she's moved on since. If you learn how to human, these signs will be bleeding apparent, so it's up to you to act on them in the window of time she gives you. Just because she's letting go of her affection, doesn't mean the affection wasn't real. That's stupid.

A woman's level of interest in any given man is dependant on words and behavior as well as appearance. If you don't give her any reason to stay, someone else will.

Women sound like terrible people. I would understand if you'd replaced interested with affection, but besides that why would anyone want to associate with a being who's affections are free to the first ones willing to go out of their way to initiate interaction.

OP here

How do I learn to recognize signs of interest from girls? I've been KDHV for 22 years because literally every time a girl is interested in me, for whatever reason, i cannot see the signs of interest and think everything she does is just friendliness.

What's my contradiction? I already said it's her problem. Her vaguely touching her hair or some other bullshit doesn't indicate anything more than a general interest. She's wasting her own time. I'm not interested in that. She obviously isn't interested enough in me to want me to pursue her. That involves a little more effort on her part. I'm not chasing any girl that flashes her pussy because that's a waste of everyone's time

Gonna have to side with some of the others on this.

If someone "liked" you, but barely said or did anything, it's not really your fault, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I know that there's gender norms regarding who asks who out, but if you take interest in somebody, it's your responsibility to do something about it. Yeah, people's feelings change, women (and men), actually can be fickle. But pic related sums it up pretty nicely.

>Secondly, people's interests change with time, and need to be stimulated by action, or at least by anticipation. If there's no response, the feelings will dissipate. This should be a mystery to none. If you want a girl to fall for you, you need to put some work in. This bullshit about her either liking you or nah is selfish, ignorant and entitled bullshit.
The problem is that these women "liked" this guy but did nothing to meaningfully show it, and gave up when he didn't reciprocate their signs which, being honest, to most women they think acting like your friend and being nice is making it obvious they're attracted to you. Or they expect the man to make the moves, in which case she is the one acting "entitled" if anything.

Back to OP though, don't worry so much about it. Relationships fail at any stage for any number of reasons. And if she was too timid to make it obvious she was into you (confidence from women is attractive too), and you were oblivious or didn't really care, the relationship may not have even worked out so well.

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If several cute girls liked you then, several more will like you now or in the future. 9/10 times guys are more desirable than they think. All my life I thought i was just some nerdy boring bland loser but apparently I had the same thing happen as you where girls did like me but i was too dumb to notice.

Literally just remind yourself that that’s in the past and you literally can’t do anything about it. Not trying to sound negative btw. Remember that they are what you call them, missed opportunities. Why torture yourself with the reminders of those memories? Let them go and be here now.

Have you ever met another human being for the first time, and then felt like you wouldn't mind meeting them again? That's how humans work, male or female. If a girl think a boy is cute, but he's too shy to talk to her, she'll most likely stop thinking about him after a while, especially if some other cute boy talks to her first, holds hands with her and kisses her. The fact that you need to dismiss women altogether because of normal relational development, means your expectations are mispleaced altogether.

>That involves a little more effort on her part
Entitlement, ladies and gentlemen. Just admit to gaydom.

Is she holding eye contact? Does she touch your shoulder or thigh? When you say something slightly funny, does she laugh? Does she hang around? Does she ask you what you're up to? Do you ever see her whispering to her girl friends, while looking your way? Does she ever bite her lips, or look at yours, while you're talking to her? Do you ever concider the chances of her agreeing to do something together?

Thing is, it doesn't really matter whether some women are already into you, since the large part of this issue isn't about reading signs, but building attraction. The signs are in response to what YOU are doing, and you can do that with any woman, whether or not she's noticed you before. Your choice of words, your body language and posture, odour, breath, how well you dress and groom, your tone of voice, how appropriately you touch her, eye contact and assertive behavior is what's going to make or break female interest. Either get with it, or gtfo

So it's entitlement to not want to waste her time? Do tell me more

>he's too shy to talk to her
Or he doesn't notice that she's into him. I've legit had girls admit to finding me attractive after seeing me a few times and I had no idea they even existed. And even if I did, I rather talk to people and get to know them. I need to find out I like her personality, I don't just want to date someone for looks alone.

>normal relational development
I think purely sexual and non-sexual social relations are distinct. For according to you, it is expected of the male to initiate contact and communications are much more subliminal and experimental. I don't disagree with how you say a women's interest must be stimulated else she will find another, but that this relation is synonymous with those I have with my friends, coworkers, and strangers. I think it important to clarify the differences in normal everyday human interactions and those of casual sex.

He's a roast warrior. He does it for free, and has to defend their every action. Don't try to have a productive or more nuanced discussion. Simply say, "yes, you're right," and go your on way

Not your problem they can’t communicate their feeling directly, instead of playing mind games.

Women think they’re so clever and cute when they use body language, but to someone who isn’t experienced with their confusing non-sense they might as well be playing Charades with a blind person.

This. Roasties are nasty little sluts that think every guy should know she's interested when her meat flaps flap a certain way in the wind. I can't fucking accept that this is an existence for people

You never had sex have you?
Incels terms are created by trolls to further isolate virgins so they don’t feel alone. Vaginas don’t act like a ball of clay, it’s elastic and very durable. Sex doesn’t make the labia extend and droop. It’s genetics that give women long Pussy lips just like freakishly long foreskin on guys. Women do get lose after vaginal birth, but if you don’t have a small penis it shrinks back enough to work just fine. “The more you know...”

No go fuck a fat chick and get over yourself.

Why, yes, I've had sex before

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>Continued
Im not insulting you btw man
I understand that good women are few and far between, but the good ones are out there. Also I wouldn’t get hung up on looking to get with a female Virgin, you might as well never eat at a restaurant since other people ate on the same plates and silverware.

The logic that because she’s had sex before therefore you’re too good for her is ridiculous.
Incels choose to be alone instead of workimg harder for what they want, that’s why they romanticize “the black pill” like it’s a mark of honor or some shit.
Being a defeated man is the opposite of true sexual enlightenment.

It's entitlement to expect her to work harder for your interest, if you fail to do the same back, given that you actually like this hypotetical female.

A reminder of what was written in the OP:
>How do i get over the missed opportunities? I've never had a gf before and feel like i lost all my chances now.
If he didn't find these women interesting and/or attractive, he would not have these regrets. Again, if you want a gf, and you know people you find cute, then it's on you to put in effort.

Didn't see this post until now. Yes, your pic related sums it up perfectly. In my own words, for those who take offence when I tell them it's their responsibility to build attraction;
I don't mean to say women shouldn't do the same, but I'm not talking to women, I'm talking to you. If you want chance in your romantic life, be that chance, don't expect anyone else to do the work for you.

Nobody here have told you to choose a partner based on looks alone, user. Obviously you should get a gf with a good personality.

>For according to you, it is expected of the male to initiate contact
See above. According to me, you should expect this of yourself. It shouldn't matter what women expect of neither themselves or you. You should take responsibility for what you get to experience, as the other user posted along with his pic related.
>I think it important to clarify the differences in normal everyday human interactions and those of casual sex.
The flavour of the interactions should necessarily differ, but the dynamics will be the same. In addition (and preferably preceding) to building attraction, there's building rapport. That's what you do with friends, coworkers, strangers and people you're non-platonically interested in, and it's the same in all cases.

Missing the point. I don't defend to protect women from you. I defend to protect you from yourself. Blaming the other has worked for very few people in the long run.

>he thinks I eat at restaurants
Nope. There's a reason I stay away from used goods. Regardless, it's easier to clean a plate than a vagina or the mind of a woman who has been passed around by a bunch of guys.
If I need it, I'll buy it new. If I don't need it, I don't waste my time

>Nobody here have told you to choose a partner based on looks alone, user. Obviously you should get a gf with a good personality.

Yeah, I'm responding to that idea that it's our responsibility to build attraction etc....I think the problem OP was having is he didn't even realize girls were into him. I think I've probably missed a ton of opportunities, not really out of fear so much out of cluelessness "oh this person likes me? shit, what now?"

But to add to this: I feel like when they say the man must make the first moves, the man must be decisive etc...it sounds like women want a guy who has his mind made up about her pretty quickly. Realistically, unless you blow me away in a couple of meetings, I need time to get to know you before I decide I like you. And if I'm pursuing you aggressively and doing all the right things when I barely know you, it basically means I'm after your looks/sex and little else.

I had a girl who was pretty keen lately but I blew it because it was moving too fast for me having been alone for years. Annoyed with myself now.

Depending on your age, it can be hard to tell, also because teenage girls can be stupid, awkward or have strage reactions.

You can read about them in PUA forums, but usually you will need to have recognized these signs once to know them when you see them again. Talk to girls, observe girls you know the most.

I used to be socially awkward in highschool.
Not before I was 21 did I start to realize what the attitudes of the girls meant, from slight interest to F-me eyes (I was clueless when I first saw those). Mostly i didn't know on the spot, but reflecting on what I saw afterwards I understood.

Cells are being replaces in rapid frequency. In 2-3 years every single atom in a woman's body will have been replaced. If she fucked someone else four years ago, then no part of the vagina you're fucking today would have touched the other man's penis.

I don't know what else to tell you other than you'll get better at spotting the signs with some experience. You'll gain that experience by talking to women and taking some chances.

I've missed out on quite a few opportunities myself, my dude. I too would probably linger on the thoughts of missed chances, if I never payed attention to the women available to me today. Also, I think perspective is an issue. When you get to be my age, five years start so seem like not that long a period. If I missed out on a women I met a couple of years ago, I might still cross her path again some time in the future. I dated a girl four years younger than me, when I was 20. I didn't fuck her, since she was way too young to know any better. (16 is age of consent in my country.) 11 years later we met again, ended up fucking a couple of times. One of my top three lays. Well worth the wait, and she still sends me texts a couple of times a year since. A real sweetheart.
Not here to brag about my success, the point is these wasted opportunities aren't as wasted as you might expect.

Do her memories get replaced as well? Her ability to form meaningful connections? I doubt it. Sorry

>but the dynamics will be the same
They have a lot of similarities, but I think their differences are very important and can be classified as "dynamics". Nevertheless, I concede for I believe this is just a difference in semantics. I guess the social "language" in relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and Bosses is a lot more intuitive than that of a sexual relationship. There is a lot of formal information on culture, social etiquette, and social ques, but not in terms of sexual relationships. What I am getting at is should OP really feel bad that he was being oblivious for being able to distinguish sexual social ques like:
>When you say something slightly funny, does she laugh?
and taking the time to build attraction. I don't believe he should, unless his goal was casual sex and casual sexual relationships, then building attraction is essential as you said. But for a girlfriend or partner? Surely you would want someone that had a more mature and robust attraction for you rather than that akin to a bass and a bouncing jig.

Just be more careful in the future.

I regret having missed friendship opportunities back in highschool because I had a hard time talking to girls and found most of them uninteresting (except my crush and a few very outspoken girls), whereas a lot of them were just shy teenagers but otherwise very good people.

I have since met terrible women, complete sluts, women who would stab you (or preferably other women) in the back at the first occasion, women desperate because sleeping around doesn't fulfill them, women who don't acknowledge anyone but their bf (really annoying at parties, professional events or in conversations with said bfs) and it all makes me wish I had realized earlier how nice a lot the of the ones I knew were.

But it's too late and all I can do is be nicer to people now.

>the point is these wasted opportunities aren't as wasted as you might expect.

I've had similar stuff happen, timing being off or whatever and then meeting in the future. And since I'm constantly improving myself, women who overlooked me in the past may sometimes offer second chances, but at that point I'm usually over them and say "screw it, you had your chance, not anymore"

>Her ability to form meaningful connections?
Its not about the connections but whom your connecting with. With exceptions, women are and have historically been submissive in sexual relationships. Submissive people who are emotionally and mentally DEPENDENT. Its why people get puppies instead of going to the animal shelter because submissive emotional connections have deprecation.

So, a women with many partners is not like the dog at the animal shelter, even though both dogs and women form submissive emotional connections? I do want the puppy, just as I want the virgin.

I think there is a difference between how much the girl likes the guy. In my opinion, there are 3 levels of attraction:

>interested in you
This is the smallest amount of attraction someone can have. For example, it's that girl at the bar who gave you a quick glance and a smile. You yourself have probably been interested in countless of women in your life.

>liking you
This is a girl who fancies you after you've gotten to know each other a bit better. She's attracted to you and has genuine interest in who you are as a person. She starts conversations with you, asks you questions, tries to grab your attention in some way, shape or form.

>crushing on you
This is the most amount of attraction someone can have for you. It's basically the 'oneitis' stage. This girl is thinking about you constantly, stalking you over text, gets super nervous when interacting with you in person etc.

What you're describing is the 'interested in you' stage. And yes, if you're anywhere in the range of decent looking, you've probably had dozens if not hundreds of women who had some level of interest in you. It's not that special or big of a deal. But given that interest is very slight and subtle, it doesn't mean you actually could have gotten all of these women into bed if you had game. Sometimes girls will give off signs of interest solely to get attention from guys because their ego's feed off of it.

This is just lame and pathetic. You can post statistics all you want, but in the end of the day all you got is yourself and your connection to the other person. There is no center in her relationships to others that'll ever touch the center of your relationship. Whether is lasts a lifetime or just a couple of years, that's down to how well you work together, not a matter of her past. Virgins break up as well.

>the social "language" in relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and Bosses is a lot more intuitive than that of a sexual relationship
Why is that? If you form a good relationship to your lover, it can be incredibly intuitive, to the extent that you feel like your borderline telepathic. At least that has happened to me. Your girlfriend can be your closest friend as well, if that's the type of dynamic you wish to have with her. Not saying that I recommend it, but not going to advice against it.
>should OP really feel bad
No, I believe he should let go of it asap.
>Surely you would want someone that had a more mature and robust attraction for you rather than that akin to a bass and a bouncing jig.
Can't she be both? I guess being my age, I don't care that much about the circumstances in the beginning of a relationship anymore. My current gf has never had a bf before, so I'm taking the romantic and 'official' aspect of it real slow, so she doesn't feel rushed into anything. We met on tinder, fucked on the first night we met, and every single day we've met ever since for 18 months, apart from maybe 3 or 4 nights. She's 10 years younger than me, and our bond is growing stronger by the day. I wouldn't want to change anything about how we met or how we've developed as a couple, even if some might say it's not the mature thing to do. Different taste etc.

Well, just like you dictating it as "lame and pathetic" doesn't really give me much incentive to accept a used up whore if one ever washed up in my direction. But who am I kidding? I am not dumb enough to think a woman would ever want me, which is fine.

>some might say it's not the mature thing to do
Only you and her know whether it was mature, and regardless it sounds like the outcome was worth it either way. Besides I was not calling the methods immature but rather the attraction to a guy for something as minuscule as "the way he touches his eye", among other trivial things.

You do you, my man.

I'm posting on Jow Forums pretty much expecting at least half of anons to throw derogatives my way for telling them about my tinder gf who put out on our first date. In her defence, we chatted for six months prior to hooking up, so knew a lot about each other before meeting. She must've liked the way I wrote her, which is a whole other sub-topic. If you're not into cold approaches, or turning friends into girlfriends, text game is next on the list.

Well welcome to autism op, felt the same as you when a girl that recently married told me that I was her crush back in school days. Move on and I dunno maybe we will luck out and have someone to break the autism and lack of awareness that we have?

No one is forcing you to avoid gaining experience. If you want your autism broken, start. talking. to. women. as often as you can muster.

I've always heard that if you talk to a girl for more than a few days it's a fatal error, so IDK

I can talk to people with no issue at all but I cant detect whatever the fuck is an approach or hints that someone have interest. So all my dates are basically discussing subjects and then heading back home.

The idea is not to detect hints, the idea is to talk to her so you know two things 1.) whether or not you like her, and 2.) if you like her back, in that order. You don't approach a specific girl for any reason other than getting to know her better. Hints don't matter, they're misleading. I've had girls act very aloof turn out to be super into me, meanwhile the super friendly ones playing with their hair, smiling big and giggling at everything I say do that to every guy.

You shouldn't feel bad if you didn't talk to a girl you didn't even like that much (then again the OP describes the missed-shots as cute girls, so I can surmise you/OP did like them on some level).

>discussing subjects and then heading back home
You want to be forward with touching, trying to escalate physically on dates, but only IF she's earned it by being someone you really like and desire intimacy from. Don't just push it so you can get a notch on your belt or whatever, don't use her for sex if you don't give a fuck about her, unless of course you both talk about just wanting to be casual.

I guess the problem is other. I just dont feel anything.

This, unless you start building attraction. It's like it's never been mentioned in this thread before.