Can't make the first move

In my adult life girls have tried to get my attention by:
>Approaching me at parties and flirting with me
>Sliding in my DMs on social media for no apparent reason
>Buying me drinks at bars (Was one girl and her friend, they bought me drinks and followed me everywhere the whole night, both of them flirting with me and grinding on me)
>Getting approached in bars and clubs and randomly complimented or flirted with
>Messaging me first on Tinder
>One girl has outright called me "hot/sexy" several times for no reason and seems to 100% mean it
>A female friend of mine once literally offered me a blowjob
>WORST OF ALL: A girl I had a crush on literally slept in the same bed as me almost naked, cuddling with me and touching me constantly

And in every single case. Every single scenario. I was too scared to make a move back. I was scared that I would get rejected still, or that i wouldn't know how to kiss properly and would humiliate myself.

What do I do? Please anons I just need someone to help me. I feel like I'm gonna die alone. I'm 22 and never been on a date or kissed anyone.

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I have this exact same problem so bumping it.

I'm just so numb with sadness at this point. I'd do anything to set myself free of this mental prison I'm in.

LOL what are you guys insecure about

how do you get all this attention from women at the bar/clubs wtf are you doing? If I were in your shoes I would have been deep in their pussy the same day/night.

Were you also raised by a single sort of overprotective mom? Because I think a lot of it is a lack of encouragement growing up so it causes you to have less courage when doing things like making the first move.

I don't know. I guess I'm good looking and I put a lot of effort into my appearance. The problem is that it doesn't matter how many signs a girl gives me, I CAN'T muster up the courage to make a move. I basically need a girl to forcibly kiss me and then ask me directly on a date.

Scared of rejection, scared of going in for the kiss and doing it wrong because I've never kissed before, scared of humiliation from being rejected or from kissing like an idiot.

Raised by a single mom. She always really encouraged me to go out and get girls though and I had lots of positive reinforcement from my family. The problem is I never had any father figure or male siblings to actually teach me how to make the first move on girls.

Well then mabey indirectly ask them out by having your friends tell them, that's what most shy people do and don't worry about failing on a first kiss even if you mess up the girl will think it's cute.

How often do you masturbate?
Stop masturbating completely. This will help with your courage to make the first move. It won't solve the whole thing, but it will be a 50% help.

I would see an endocrinologist and get your testosterone level tested. It is most likely below the optimum level. If it is low at all, they will set you up with a routine to do injections yourself. This will get you another 25% of the way there.

That might be a good idea. But all these opportunities of mine are in the past. I don't have any opportunities like this right now. And the problem is they come out of nowhere, I can't anticipate them because girls don't give me any signs of interest beforehand. So i can't prepare for this shit when it happens. and once i've missed the opportunity, it's gone forever.

Once a day. I'll try nofap. Haven't fapped today so I'll start from now and see what happens.

If it's low testosterone then that would imply my libido is low though wouldn't it? Or I'm misunderstanding testosterone.

My sexual urges are entirely normal, in fact I'm really super horny most of the time. Even a girl just cuddling up with me or laying across me on a sofa or something gives me a raging hardon and literal precum. It's like my dick is desperate for some action but my brain is too stupid to let it have some.

>It's like my dick is desperate for some action but my brain is too stupid to let it have some.

Your brain hasn't made a hardwired association yet of: asking girls out = getting laid.

Your brain currently has a hardwired association of: not asking girls out = safety. This is a false association, but nevertheless it's the one you have right now.

Nofap will go a big way in getting you to ask girls out and make moves. You have to reach at least 7 days of nofap for it to start working, and you can't cheat at all, that means not looking at any porn or naked pics of chicks on the internet.

You can still have a decent libido when you have low testosterone. Low testosterone contributes to you not making moves on girls even though you want to.

>Your brain hasn't made a hardwired association yet of: asking girls out = getting laid.

Yeah that makes sense. To be honest I don't think until last year i even understood the concept that guys need to make the first move. I used to just think "no girl has ever asked me out or tried to kiss me, therefore I must be repulsive". I have finally started to understand I need to make the first move but I'm just too scared and inexperienced to do it.

Other than nofap is there anything else I can do?

Watch this OP.
Regret of not trying is worse than rejection

Ask yourself what’s more scary, feeling embarrassed and sad for a little while or never getting true love to grow in your life?

My brother! “Great minds think alike”

Guys don’t always make the first move, but you get more success by making the effort yourself. Although success is a relative thing in this case, but I wouldn’t concern myself with that in your position.

you literally deserve what has happened, neck yourself or fuck dudes if female attention is too big of an issue for you.

But the problem is I do accept that. I accept that experiencing rejection sometimes is preferable to being alone forever.

But even accepting that doesn’t make it any easier. My brain simply will not allow me to make a move on a girl. It just won’t do it. It doesn’t matter how much I psyche myself up or how easy a girl makes it for me. I simply cannot bring myself to make a move because of fear

Is there any way I can reduce my level of fear so that I can start making moves on girls?

Do you not have any sympathy for me? Believe me when I say I wish I could have acted on the attention I got. But my brain physically did not allow me to. It’s like being imprisoned by my own mind.

It could be worse. You could be posting the same thread everyday without taking any advice.

I do take the advice. It just doesn’t really help. Sorry.

I need someone to tell me how to reduce my level of fear. How to reduce my fear of rejection, and how to reduce my fear of fucking up (eg. Being a bad kisser due to lack of experience)

God fucking damn it with you people! (Assuming no larp)

Literally none of the OP happened to me ever and i am not this insecure as you faggots.

I am a short, slightly overweight hairy dude and i just want to slap you OP. I truly think this by the way. You need a good slap to make sense of your situation and you just need to make a move.

I know it is scary, my heart was beating over 150 rpm when i was sitting and just psyching myself up when i left my number for a girl in a cafe.

And i still fucking did it, if i can do it so you can too. Just go along with it ffs!

But I can't. Please believe me. This is genuinely a problem for me and it's ruining my life.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm just so scared that I might make a move on a girl and she'll be bothered by it and think I'm annoying or something. I really don't want to bother women or inconvenience them in any way.

Part of the problem also is that because I've had some girls express interest in me so overtly, I now find it even more difficult to approach girls who DON'T show interest. If a girl isn't approaching me and flirting with me, I basically assume she must find me repulsive and therefore can't even do so much as strike up a conversation with her.

Seni eşşek sudan gelene kadar dövmek lazım..

Ok faggot, i can not start to understand what i see here. Know that your experience is so fucking different to mine i have to assume you are lying. It is so off the charts to my life i would give the same reaction if you told me pigs started flying.

However i can give you a suggestion that usually helps me out, go out with your friend. Have that friend dare you and challenge you to sth with girls, this might help you get out of your comfort zone. I mean this, i am usually shyish and quite by myself but when i am with a close friend i am energetic and cheery. I usually channel that into sth where i go engage with girls.

So, i dare you fucker. Next time you think you have chance, you have tojust go for it. Or you owe me 10000 internet cookies..

Go to therapy and work with your therapist on a plan to reduce your fear.
This isn't something we can fix on Jow Forums. Go there and say to them EXPLICITLY that you need help in this, that it is terrible and ruining your social and romantic life, and you need help with a plan to overcome it.

I already did that and it didn't actually help. I can sit there with a therapist and work through the why and how of being scared of rejection, the logic behind it, and conclude it's illogical and nothing bad will happen to me if i get rejected. Doesn't make it ANY easier. My brain simply wont accept it, it won't behave logically.

I was also raised by a single mother and i have the exact same problem. Is it commonly known that there is a correlation between these things?

Then go to other therapists. There are different therapists that have different methods.
If the focus is how to get other the fear, you can work on practical exercises and have a schedule of little steps or exposure therapy and such.

I've had several therapists, none of them worked. I don't have the money to go spending on some kind of specialized high brow therapy that might have a slim chance of curing my fear.

I think its hopeless for me then... I don't know why I got cursed to remain a kissless dateless handholdless virgin forever... Why me?

I mean, the general rules are things you can figure out yourself. Doing small steps that free you from fear.
Pay a compliment to a girl for her dress or hair or hitting girls up on tinder.

You didn't get "cursed", you're not doing shit to change your position beside complaining.

>Pay a compliment to a girl for her dress
This sort of thing fills me with anxiety. I mean, whenever I compliment a girl she does take it very graciously and beams with a smile. I've never had a bad reaction. But I still can barely bring myself to do it. Getting the words out of my mouth is such a struggle, I feel like I'm drowning in anxiety doing it. I just have this nightmare that one day I'll try to compliment a girl and she'll be so repulsed by me she visibly recoils or something and I'll get humiliated in front of everyone I know.

>hitting girls up on tinder.
I'm too scared to message my matches on tinder. They might not respond, or they might not even be attracted to me, they might have matched me for an ego boost or even for a joke.

Yes I think so

Then do that till you're not anxious anymore. Then move on to things that scare you more.
After it happened, focus on the situation and think about how well it went and how good you did.
That's the principe of exposure therapy very roughly.

Listen man, sadly there’s no magic solution to this, I sure as hell wish there was. The only way to fix your insecurity is to attract it. And you just have to live with the fact that nothings going to get better unless you just go out there and get experience, and get rejected and all that shit. Because we always think that things like rejection will ruin us, when they’re usually just a small bump in our long life’s. Just go out there and do it man, theres no potion, no magic solution, it’s all on you.