ITT: Ask the Opposite Sex Anything

Part of the game. Even if you meet the magical person who never disappoints or hurts you, they will die. But would you rather have something to lose or nothing to lose? If you get a pet you also know they will die. Trying for a kid also means risking the kid's not healthy, will suffer, and so on. Life is choosing to try again and again.

Well thanks for the rant man, it at least makes me feel like I'm doing things right cuz I hit all of those boxes. When you say you wish you told you she wanted you more, do you mean in words? Cuz of do I'm good, if you mean in actions then how would you like it done? Anything more specific or nuanced?

>alone in school room with girl I like
>she's finishing her studying
>instead of talking to her or trying to make something fun happen, I pick up a book I had to read for a class and read it in silence

How do I stop doing this ? I keep being a passive and boring faggot but I don't know how to make fun stuff happen

I mostly just want sex and friendship from girls, but I seem to draw out ones looking for more than that. How I do attract girls who want the same things as me?

By being honest from the start. This kinda stuff pisses me off because most guys never make it clear.

Obviously you mostly need to talk to him and figure out what he likes about it, what his fantasies are, what his boundaries are etc. But some ideas;

>groom him, shave his body/face, wash him, pick his clothes for the day or gently undress him at night
>feminine foreplay: touch and kiss all over his body, whisper how hot he is and how much you wanted him all day, tell him he's beautiful, he's yours etc
>show him off to your friends, nudge them to compliment him, have him be your token escort when you go out without reciprocating to that extent
>tell him to save his semen for you and not to masturbate or watch porn, then tease him during sex and make him wait/beg for it
>be more aggressive/forward during sex: ride his face, move him into different positions without asking, incorporate less traditional ones like missionary with you on top and stroking the hair out of his face and tracing his jaw
>let him service you e.g. by painting your nails while you watch tv without even paying attention to his efforts
>let him do (the majority of) traditionally feminine tasks like cooking and cleaning

Never act like it's love/infatuation/relationshippy. It is hard enough to regularly (one night stands are a little different) fuck with someone you get along with really well, without cutesy texts, shared breakfast in the morning, making out outside of sex, cuddling in the afterglow together, sleeping over etc.

It is also hard for plenty of young hormonal people to be friends with someone of the opposite sex who gives them attention, trust, respect, company, laughter etc without flirtations, date-like activities (going to the cinema and museum together), wanting to discuss sex.

Basically, your actions need to back up your words, that's the most important thing.

Do I say something to the effect of "I'm not looking for anything serious right now"?

She gets pouty when I'm not next to her, she always wants to know what I do or how my day's going, she wants to go to my hangout spots and hobbies, what's going on?

She said we'd be 'good friends', but something tells me she wants more. Is my gut feel wrong or right?

>fuck with someone you get along with really well, without cutesy texts, shared breakfast in the morning, making out outside of sex, cuddling in the afterglow together
Whats the fucking point of such cold-hearted going through motions? That shit would hurt more than masturbation. Dont make out outside of sex, fucking hell...

She never really initiated things. It's not really fair to say she didn't want me at all, but she didn't know what she wanted and seemed kind of ashamed when I asked. She didn't like when I made jokes, which is a thing I do when I'm uncomfortable. She likes anime, but I never did get into it. She showed me one, I thought it was kind of campy. Never saw another. I could have shown more interest, though. I can't really put my finger on it, but I think she was kind of ashamed of liking some things because of her parents. I didn't realize it at the time and wound up making her uncomfortable.
From a sexual standpoint, I would have wanted both of us to be more open about what feels good. You can always learn and teach something new to someone.

What do you girls think of a guy who has a bone anchored hearing aid? I have longer hair so you can't really see it unless the wind blows or something, but it squeaks if you touch it. It snaps off, but I there's a little metal abutment there, and the skin sort of slopes down around it.

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Yes, pretty much. I went out with a man who from the beginning told me he doesn't want me to love him and that he has commitment issues. I then knew what I would potentially get into. I agreed to date him but I was much more cautious about catching feelings because I was also like wanting to have fun, it was a bit confusing because he treated me like a girlfriend a lot of the times but ultimately there was no drama or anything because we agreed on what was going on between us.

Just say you are looking for a friends with benefits thing. Sure, it will make a lot of girls probably not want to get involved at all but the worst thing you can do is lead a girl on just to get sex from her.

I'm not saying you can't catch feelings even if you follow strictly the fuck buddy thing in which you just go over to each others' places and fuck and do nothing outside of that, but at the very least both parties will know what they got into and can't accuse the other of being a bad person or whatever

The point is ensuring you both get a need met without causing heartache. Sex isn't a neutral thing you just cash in on. If you start as two people who get along and feel attraction and suddenly you do intimate, emotional things together that require and build trust - then feelings are always a huge risk.

I'm not saying you need to kick someone out of your bed after you came, that you can never lie together and chitchat or hold each other for a few minutes.
But if you are looking for a girl you can fuck regularly, get breakfast with holding hands, spend lazy Sunday mornings in bed with, laugh with over nothing etc, then you are not looking for sex and friendship, you are looking for all the perks of a relationship without the restrictions and responsibilities. And that's an incredibly fine line to walk, and you are going to break a lot of hearts trying to find someone who's looking for exactly the same thing. For most people acting like they're in love over time will make them fall in love with this person they already liked enough to sleep with.

This is not 100% platonic at least. Either she harbors some level of feelings or she enjoys the attention/closeness of being a faux couple.

No opinion. I mean in itself an aid like that is at best neutral, at worst mildly annoying for everyone involved, but the way people work once you develop feelings for someone it tends to be exactly the individual little quirks that really make them so endearing and special to you. Don't worry about it.

>ensuring you both get a need met
Bah, I almost threw up, I am not so pragmatic. Id rather "love" passionately for a short time (you can call it "faking") and disappear afterwards.
To each their own, I guess.

I mean I don't feel like we're couply.
Sure she even offers me food acting all motherly, which feels weird, but nothing feels couplish about it.

You could be right though. I never seen someone go pout and then her face fucking glows when I sit with her.

Anything I should do with her or let it fade?

I do like to playfully banter around with girls I'm into. I hadn't realized this might be sending them mixed signals.
This has been helpful in more ways than one. Thank you.

Neither am I, that's why I don't have sex with people I don't love.

Live your life the way you want to, but don't be surprised that women fall in love with you when you act like you're in love with them. And you know actions speak louder than words. If you are developing feelings yourself, someone is treating you tenderly and romantically, it is no more than human to hear that little voice going "it looks like his feelings have changed... surely he feels what I feel when we're together..." etc.

I don't necessarily think you are faking it but I think most people aren't cut out to do this balancing act with their feelings. And that you shouldn't expect women to get that you want just sex and friendship when clearly you want more than that, just not a relationship.

>I hadn't realized this might be sending them mixed signals.
If this is the extent I don't think you have to worry. It is just my experience that men who have issues with this tend to look for non-exclusive relationships that don't come with obligations/expectations - rather than the "just sex" they say they want. Obviously you can acknowledge the other person as someone you get along with outside of sex. It is about patterns of behavior not about whether you can ever do x or y.

Also there might be other factors as well. If you are simply a very desirable man period (a good conversationalist, someone who has a fun life he enjoys, who has confidence, charming/good looking etc) then simply having sex with girls is bound to get some of their hopes up. There's no way around that and there's nothing else you can do but communicate clearly every chance you get.

If you are still on good terms with some of these girls I'd recommend asking them if they feel you should've handled things differently to avoid creating expectations of some sort. They might be able to observe behavior of yours you weren't that aware of.

Acting nurturing/fussing over someone's bodily needs is very common for both couples and people falling for each other. (Think of the guy making sure the girl he's on a date with isn't cold.)

It's all just what you want from it. She sounds like she has a big crush so if you are just looking for sex or liking the attention it's just going to be a bunch of drama for you. If you feel like you could grow to like her, explore that for yourself.
If you want to fade and she confronts you, just tell her you felt you weren't really on the same page in terms of what you have and you did not want to lead her on. I wouldn't personally be pro-active with telling her why you want distance - unless she goes further and it makes you uncomfortable.

>Is it bad that I get turned off when guys start planning and imagining stuff too much early on?
No. You're not even close to the same page with each other. Why should you be turned on?

Girls definitely seem to like me, but for reasons I'm not going to get into I tried to box up the sexual side of myself for basically my whole life. I've only just in the past few months started to open this part of myself up, so I'm not even sure I know what I'm really even after at this point. The friends with benefits thing seems to appeal to me the most right now. I do know I mostly want to do my own thing.

She's cute, don't get me wrong, I just worry since she's like a bright adorable little kid and I feel like some hideous wizard compared to her.

I wouldn't mind going further with her, aside from just casual garbage. An ex broke me that way so it's been tough to recover.

FWB's can definitely work out but they usually form organically, e.g. you are friends who end up sleeping with each other and in the morning you both agree you enjoyed it and have no feelings. (And even then, as expressed, I would stick to some boundaries to keep everything from slipping too much into a love affair.)

It is quite hard to steer for. It is frankly easier to find someone who either wants to sleep with you once or wants to date you, than someone who likes you enough (sexually and as a person) to sleep with you again and again, but not so much that they want more. And then there's stances on testing/condoms, exclusivity, how often you want to see each other etc. Basically it is more like aiming for a one night stand and hoping you stumble upon more than that.

I would just bite the bullet, bring her to some hobby event where you spend one on one time, see if it feels right.

Of course it's always a little scary but it sounds promising and like you're going to slap yourself if she moves on because you don't give her much to work with.

I'll think about it. The activity, but it's guaranteed I'm gonna sneak it in that we'll do something.
We have theatres and a bunch of other little stuff around the area.

Hi Jow Forums, trying to get an understanding of what me and this guy are. He and I only meet up once every week or two, and usually just to have sex. We talk, drink, smoke, have lots of sex, and then the next morning I get up and go for work. Don't talk much in between dates but I know that's because he doesn't like to text much.

This last time we were meeting up on a weekend so he asked me if I wanted to get dinner, and we went to a fancy italian place and had wine and it was very datey even though we split the bill. He also mentioned that he had deleted the dating app we meant on cause it came up for some reason.

So now I'm like confused because I was very certain we were just fwb but now I'm not sure. It's been like 5 months of seeing each other and it's not very consistent at all. Any insights from what could be going through his head?

Sounds to me that you're still very clearly friends with benefits. But he deleted the app because he's content with just fucking you. Happens all the time

He has feelings

Why should we care about normie degenerates? Fuck off kek

All very different responses lol.

I was in a relationship for nearly a decade, alone for two years, then in a relationship for a year and a half. I am 33 and have a stunning lack of experience compared to what I think my peers have. How do I either broach this subject or make up the lack of experience? Asking as a guy to anyone.
Also, thanks to the guy in the last thread who said I was selling myself short. I hadn't thought of it that way. I'm not sure how much sexual experience my peers have, just what they say they have.

Girls, how do I be more fun in texts? I don't really enjoy texting. I just use it for business, and chatting with my brother. I only feel comfortable chatting face to face

Am the other user, you don't learn shit from one night stands. The bare act of sex is laughably simple, being good or bad is not about how often you did it but about how adapt you are at playing into individual preferences/sensitivities, how well you can read someone's cues, and these are not skills you learn from drunkenly putting it into a woman who will never see you again and sure as fuck won't tell you to adjust your moves a little.

Do girls like to hear that their boyfriend wants to hug or snuggle with them and other cute things like that? I don't know how to word it without sounding dumb but I want to tell her how much she means to me.

How do I get over a girl leaving me for an older, moneyed man? We dated for 4 years and she overlapped and left for this 27 year old dude who is going to be a Dr. I just can't stop thinking about her, and hoping that they crash and burn.

I'm the exact same way, fellow user. I hate conversations over text unless ive just started talking to them

Thanks, man. Sometimes you have to hear things from other people to know they're true. Is plenty of fish better than tinder or bumble for finding relationships?

Fun stuff will happen normally. Consider trying to ask a question or make an observation on some shit. If shes at all interested she’ll talk with you. Use it as an opportunity to make a joke or two. I know thats kinda vague but lifes all about winging it and throwing shit at the wall

Yes, absolutely. Almost everyone has a soft spot like for that.
Sometimes, just going for a hug is the easiest way. If you want to use words tho, anything is fine, don't overthink. People in a relationship say a lot of awkward/cringy/cheesy things to their partners. They are together because they are comfortable doing that.

This girl's been trying to fuck me for a month
She seriously called me a loser last week
I'll probably never fuck her now

Am I petty or is this justified?

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AAAAAAAAAAAA WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT ON MY FUCKING HARDDRIVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
F here.

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Also would snuggling be considered too sexual? We started a week ago and she's really cool, okay with hugging and snuggling non-sexually at a movie we went to and shit but hasn't mentioned anything sexual (Not my priority either) so I don't want to say snuggling if it has sexual connotations.

Anyone else.

Also should I suggest something datey this weekend or do you think it might be weird if he does in fact only want to be fwb

Stop downloading porn, game mods, and meme pics.
T. Same crime different organs

Oh i have one more question:
Do I have to download ubuntu before trying to program with prolog? I really would rather not but I'm fine with doing it since I don't play video games anymore or use any program that is Windows only nowadays. Some of my programs are even easily to use in plain Linux rather than Windows but I would prefer not to put any effort into changing my OS because I'm lazy.
I heard one option was using Cygwin but I'd like a second opinion because I heard it's not advisable.

imo, snuggling has cutesy connotation. But it also depends on the person i guess.

How do you even approach women for dating? I have never asked a girl out in my life, I am 24 years old. I don't even know if I'm a loser, I've just never tried because I'm shy. But I'm realizing I need to take more initiative in life when it comes to this, unfortunately I have no idea where to start.

I don't even really know what dating norms are, I just know what I was taught as a kid and those are kind of outdated.

lol on what fucking planet is snuggling not sexual? girls are delusional

No, that says they're a clinger and you're right to get turned off by that.
I think I'd like to be shown it exists so I don't like brush your hair over you ear and hit it.
I want that.

I snuggle with my cats, with my mom, with my female friends...
Snuggling with a date is definitely intimate, in the same way that holding hands, sitting right next to each other, holding an arm over your shoulder, etc is intimate. But it doesn't have to be directly sexual.

>it's intimate but not sexual
listen to yourself

Gross

Seems reasonable to not want to have sexual relations with someone who insulted you.

I fap to traps. Is it wrong to keep this a secret from my GF?

How do I become better at acting likeable so I can trick some poor unsuspecting woman into being in a relationship with me? Ideally once I let all my toxic emotional baggage out she'll have invested too much time in me and she'll just accept it to avoid being alone again.

I'm pretty attracted to her though

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They are very different things user. Intimacy!= sexual desire

like i said, women are delusional

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neah, we just don't think with our dicks. hugging and rubbing against a person can be cute and innocent too.

I said "doesn't have to be directly sexual". Snuggling can definitely be incredibly sexual.
It's men that are so closed off from platonic intimacy... they're really missing out.

>yeah i'm gonna cuddle with this guy. my boyfriend won't mind because it's not sexual

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who dennied you snuggles user?

You're retarded

So apparently some rumors went around about me liking some girl I no longer talk to (over a year) and my girlfriend's asking me about it. Do I answer truthfully?

I did ask her about what she was studying and we talked about that for a while, but idk I felt like I missed an opportunity to have a special moment with her rather than just talking about school. We did share some cool moments in the past few months, but I'd like things to go faster cause college ends in a month and idk if I'll see her again after that

I'll try being more spontaneous, but this passiveness has plagued me for years. It's like I'm just *there*, waiting for something to happen, rather than making things happen myself. I'm not sure how to work on being more spontaneous tho

The physical boundaries of same sex friends is vastly different than the physical boundaries of opposite sex friends.

What would you say if you answered truthfully?

You can be sexually attracted to someone you don't want to have sexual relations with

Yes (however my gf knows this: I did not know my gf at the time and when I stopped liking the one she's asking about it was because we argued a lot and we weren't even a couple so I cut her off.)

I flirt with a girl at work. She has a BF. She flirts back. Coworkers make jokes about us pretty often as we are always at each others desks or chatting in the halls. We just laugh it off.

Today she is at my desk and someone cracks a dick joke at my expense and my crush replies without missing a beat "I've seen it, so...". To which I said without thinking "Why would you tell them that?". One of the others, who is big gossip/office joker responded instantly "Why would you tell ME that?" and then everyone quickly dispersed from my desk.

Girls, do you have any insight on this? Why would you, having a partner, basically start a rumour that you are fucking your coworker?

My gf knows this: I used to hang out with this girl (before I met gf) and then we got into an argument that was really heated so I cut her off.
The answer, however, is yes, I did like her, but we never became a couple. I met my gf recently.

You've posted this before. Stop

Any advice for this?
Thanks

Profound thought

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she was probably trying to make a joke while defending you but it backfired..

whoops replying to

Is your girlfriend the jealous and crazy type? Do you have ex girlfriends? How does your girlfriend feel about that fact? To a girl who is comfortable with the concept of exes, saying "Yes I did like her at one point, but we had a falling out and then I didn't." seems fine.

No, no, she had bfs before and she said it also ended kinda badly, so I assume she is okay with me liking someone and it failing. Thank you user

You might want to research the subject of shock humor.

Do guys enjoy lots of affection as long as it isn't overly clingy? I'm not looking for an in general response, just case by case.

nah fuck off and raise my kids

The issue was I was the only one shocked she said it. For everyone else, given our interactions, it just came off like an admission.

Idk about other guys, but I'd love it if a girl showed me a lot of affection. Of course there's limits, like I need some personal space sometimes, but yeah otherwise I like affection.

A girl invited me over to watch a tv series at her place today. I am not sure if this is as friends or if she wants something more. How do I test the waters without fucking up our friendship? Thanks!

I love it. I'm normally very reserved, but I really like touching the person I'm with.

Ask her directly if this is as friends or if she wants something more. Expect the former so you're not disappointed if that's the answer, and if it's the latter then go for it

If she then says 'friends' the friendship is ruined (there will always be awkwardness), so no.