So I've seen a lot of debate going around about whether or not to lie about your bodycount / number of sexual partners to a potential partner when asked.
I know that you can't possibly win in this situation, that you're either a whore or a prude/loser, but I'm curious about something.
I hear from friends a lot that they were raised to believe that sex is a sacred act, to wait for The One, wait until marriage, that virginity is sacred, etc. etc. With this being the standard value, I can completely understand a sense of disappointment when you wait for so long only to find out that the person you think is The One has had multiple partners before you.
My question is this -- what if you were raised the opposite way? Growing up, my mom was a minsandrist, she always told me that men were only after one thing and to use that to my advantage, to use my sexuality as empowerment and save my mind and my kindness, my "true gifts" she called them, for The One, but to fuck around with whoever in the meantime. I truly, honestly believed this was the case until I grew up and moved out and realized that I DO believe sex is sacred and should be honored and not just given to anyone (for myself, I don't force this belief upon anyone else) but by the time I realized this view, I already had a bodycount reaching toward the twenties.
So am I a slut for acting as I was raised and knowing no better? Am I a whore for never even knowing the concept of sex as anything sacred?
idk man she's dumb and hypocritical in a lot of ways but hindsight 20/20
William Edwards
My mom wanted me to have sex with a lot of people saying that I have a pretty body so I might as well use it to get stuff out of people (she used to have a rich sugar daddy before she got married) but it's difficult because I rather not. I definitely don't believe sex is sacred though. I believe people should have sex with whoever they like the most even if they're in a relationship with someone else just because that's just human nature, you know? If we could trade body counts, I'd love that because mine's a lowly 0 and that's not very cool. Also, you're not a slut. See, sluts are merely a social construct and have no true basis in reality. All that matters is who you are now and if your partner is fine with the you you are right now. Right here, sister.
Mason Kelly
Nobody wants to marry a used up slut, high partner counts are only positive for men who want one night pump and dumps.
Don’t lie about your partner count, it will bite you in the ass when the truth inevitably comes out causing resentment and pain.
Cameron Morgan
First my opinion, I wouldn’t touch you
Second the counting of partners: that’s some childish ass shit people be bragging about.
Are you a slut or a whore? It depends entirely on if you were in exclusive relationships or get spitroasted.
Adrian Lopez
>for men who want one night pump and dumps. See, what's wrong with this? Not everyone wants to share a house (and especially a paycheck) with someone else. I mean sure, if you want a kid, that's not the way to think because it might be difficult raising them and working at the same time but for everyone else who don't want children, it's not a big deal.
Hudson Roberts
your mom is a dumb feminist she can go fuck herself
I think as long as both individuals in the relationship agree to it then that's fine but I would never cheat when I'm in a long-term relationship, that just isn't fair to the other person and I know I'd be hurt if it happened to me. I'm happy to hear your logic about how it's a social construct, I try to remind myself of that but some of these people make it hard. My current partner of 3 years knows exactly my number, and I know his, and we've never had any issues. I suppose that's all I should care about but some weird backwards part of my brain thinks I need the validation of the rest of society too lol.
Leo Ortiz
Yes. Assuming you fucked 3+ Guys
Austin Gutierrez
What about 3 makes it the magic number?
Gabriel Nelson
most guys I know wouldn't date a roastie but would fuck one. personally I wouldn't date someone with a high body count as I see it as a lack of self control, but I also wont have sex with someone unless I have real feelings for them and they feel the same
Christopher Gomez
I think amongst strangers it's childish and stupid but if my partner brings it up I think it's a valid concern I would be honest about.
A mixture of the two.
Ian Butler
Does that ever change? What if they had lack of self control in teen years and developed it over time? 9+ people in high school and then nobody at all for three years? Or two people per year over the course of six years? I hardly think two people in the period of 365 days could be considered a lack of self control.
Jason Walker
It's a silly thing to lie about and the truth usually comes out one way or another. Your mother should have taught you modesty and not to trade yourself for personal benefit. If I was your father I'd be downright appalled, but I don't really care for shaming people.
I think it's better to risk being called a slut and remain genuine. The right guy won't condemn you for your past and look at who you are today. I'd also recommend you get tested, I do it regularly since I like to sleep around quite a lot.
Mason Roberts
These threads happen once a day and seriously just need to be stickied. They go round and round in circles and don't go anywhere.
Julian Richardson
I test regularly, had a scary situation a few years back and had to make quite a few uncomfortable phone calls. I appreciate your positivity! I already have a partner who knows my count and we've been together three years, I suppose the lying thing doesn't pertain so much to my situation as much as I've just seen the topic about in threads quite a bit lately.
Gabriel Brown
Do they? I apologize, I suppose I don't spend enough time around here to have seen them previously.
Easton Sullivan
I think having sex with someone outside of a relationship is degenerate behavior and sex is something you keep for people you really care about, I mean its the most intimate thing people can do, i don't understand why someone would want to have a one night stand or a fuckbuddy. as far as the high body count thing goes it depends on the number but experience has taught me that people don't really change they just become more themselves
Nolan Adams
That's good I'm glad ya found somebody worth your time. Guess you get anxiety sometimes seeing how people react to high partner counts but I'm still honestly not sure what you're looking to get out of this thread if you already have someone who accepts that part of your past, I wouldn't worry about it.
Jeremiah Sullivan
Buddy if that's what you think is degenerate I've got a few stories for you. I can tell you sex feels great, and it means different things to different people. Some people just view sex as sex nothing more, for others they crave the intimacy that comes with a consistent partner. There's ups and downs to both.
Austin Nguyen
I feel like outside of Jow Forums this shit doesn't really come up, lol. I was a virgin with my current partner and so was he but we have lots of friends in relationships who have a massively high body count. My roommate in college was a massive slut (would bring back guys from Tinder weekly and I'd have to sleep in the common area kek) and she's married now, so obviously it doesn't matter that much.
20 is still pretty high and I wonder how many of those people still try to contact you or know too much about you. That would be my biggest gripe personally. Knowing how many people know you in such an intimate way and what they might use that information for.
Mason Gray
Top bait.
Jaxon Scott
>sex feels great where'd you get your PHD bonobos have sex daily its not a point of pride, promiscuity is a degradation of something that's supposed to be special
Colton Ward
Stop following me to different threads.
Jacob Evans
Every action has consequences that's just how life goes... I would suggest reading the problem of purity by Dion Fortune.
Personally I am looking for someone pure that would make good wife and mother material, but people are looking for different things in life. You shouldn't worry and try to find a person that has similar views of clicks with you.
>Am I a whore for never even knowing the concept of sex as anything sacred? Sort of. You can't change what you did, but you were pretty much doomed from the start given the circumstances in which you were raised. By your actions and their effects, you obviously fit the definition of a whore. At the same time, if you are committed to going no further (where practicable), and are honest with your past, I wouldn't make it much of an issue. There are far bigger problems to worry about than a whore who actually feels some guilt.
>What about 3 makes it the magic number? Nothing, don't listen to the degenerates with their arbitrary and unenforceable 'standards'.
Jackson Gutierrez
Lying is always the worst option Any relationship founded on lies is insincere and doomed to fail Are you going to lie forewver? Eventually tell him and then he has to deal with the fact you fucking lied to him for X amount of time? Whatever your count is, from 0-100, find the person that suits you and can make it work with who YOU are
Evan Lee
This is one of the saddest posts I’ve ever seen There is nothing “cool” about having had sex with a certain number of people You know how there’s a first time eating fruit loops, there’s a first time on a roller coaster, there’s a first time doing whatever? The first time you ever have sex is also a unique experience, except it’s the first time doing something extremely intimate, vulnerable, and a fairly major part of life, that even with protection almost always has the risk of creating new fucking life. So yea I don’t see anything wrong with the idea it is a special moment that you can choose to reserve for your eventual lifetime romantic (and sexual) partner We also know that increased partner count is directly correlated to being less likely to be in a fulfilling long term relationship. Correlation isn’t causation, but it seems dose dependent, aka 1 partner seems to correlate to being worse than 0, but 2 is even worse, and 3 is even worse, etc.
Human nature isn’t just wanting to have sex. Human nature is also wanting to be loved, it is feeling possessive, it is jealously, it is monogamous as well as promiscuous. Rape and murder are part of human nature, so is compassion for you fellow man. “Lmao it’s in our nature” doesn’t really help us determine what actions we should and shouldn’t take.
Camden Torres
If you want to only ever be men’s one night pump n dumps, then be a slut. If you ever want a genuine relationship, don’t be
Brandon Mitchell
I would absolutely consider two people in a year as a lack of self control. Either that was casual and disgusting or it was a failed relationship followed quickly by another failed relationship, where sex was happening despite the clear instability of said relationships
Angel Scott
Female average lifetime body count is 8.
Jonathan Clark
I still like froot loops. I just think you're trying to project a bit too much into me and my personality. It just doesn't work. You're not me. Stop trying to convince me to be you. Also, I don't want a long term relationship. >wanting to be loved Bunch of gobblety gook. Either you love yourself or you're a clingy dependent human who can't stand his ground without the help of others.
Cameron Sanders
kys twink
if you're a real nigga you won't respond like you do every time to garner attention
Robert Morales
MANNNN, fuck all these dudes who say y’all wouldn’t touch a woman who’s been with so many men. Lying assholes, y’all wouldn’t know the difference between any pussy out there.
As for the question at hand, are you a slut? Is what you’re doing right or wrong? Is sex special?
Who gives a damn! You could have all the dicks in the world or none at all, as long as you’re happy doing what you do and not hurting anyone, then you’re good!
Mason Bell
You missed his point completely and you talk like someone who's in denial, but whatever helps you sleep at night.
Caleb Evans
>I believe people should have sex with whoever they like the most even if they're in a relationship with someone else just because that's just human nature, you know? If you want someone else you should at least leave the first person. The human nature argument is just bullshit that people use to justify being a bad person. Kids naturally shit their pants and have no notion of using a toilet instead of wherever they happen to be, but we train them out of it. Men want to bash the heads in of other men who seriously transgress them, but society trains and expects otherwise from them. If people wanted to not be shitty people, they could do it. But instead they do whatever they feel like and then go, "It's just human nature."
Jack Clark
You type like you're drunk and none of your shit makes sense. At least try to be coherent.
Alexander Evans
I meant to reply to this person but you too.
Hudson Gonzalez
Just say your GFless. Single. I guess you dont have confidence.
Gabriel Miller
If you can't make sense of that then you're at least a little bit retarded.
Ethan Miller
Dude if that doesnt make sense to you youre mentally deficient.
Lincoln Martinez
Then I met my wife and she was still a virgin. I feel that that was quite something special, and I wish I could have given the same gift to her. So from today's point of view, I wish I had a bodycount of exactly 1.
