Get it off your chest

Gonna kill myself tonight. Wrote my notes. All I ever do is hurt myself anyway, so I might as well get to choose how I meet my end. It has all been too much for me to handle. Thought I finally found someone that cared and that I could care about. But I destroyed that too. Everything combined with that makes things not worth it for me anymore. At least I can make this final decision for myself after a life time of getting stepped on.

Sorry Mike
Sorry Emily
Sorry Al.

Ok I only date virgins

noice be my gf

Maybe you need to start with online friends, people you don't have to see irl

I do have a lot of online friends, that's the paradox.

why

I live having an erection. Even if I'm not masturbating it just feels satisfying to have a hard dick. Sometimes I wish I was a cute girl but then I wouldn't know how great it feels to simply have an erection.

Still a refractory period above me though

Escorts?

Having feels for a girl again, feels good but bad at the same time

It's a shame you picked her all those years ago. But you couldn't of expected me to react to all your petty actions. Calling me and letting your phone run while you're with other females, who does that?! Texting me random things 'i wont wait for you forever' um what? Use your words. We would of had a great life, probably have a small army (family) of our own by now. But you'd likely be messaging chicks behind my back telling them they're your other half and that you love them. Guess I dodged a bullet after all.

so...
at this rate I'm gonna need to abandon four cats in my old home(to be fair probably two, I've been there today and two were nowhere to be seen)
just because the island where I live is a fucking ultracapitalist tourism shithole where even animal shelters ask you for money when you have to give your pets to them even if you are an absolute neet whose mother is the one who wanted cats in the first place but now just says "yeah yeah tomorrow a friend of mine will come for them" for one month straight... and we gotta vacate our old home the next wednesday
I don't get it and I won't ever will.
Why would you want a pet and then act like this when it's such a fucking important thing?

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>island where I live is a fucking ultracapitalist tourism shithole
Are you talking about Japan? Not that I think that.

Man I really don't wanna start studying, but I will don't worry.

Can you talk to someone first?

nah, it's a spaniard island and let's leave it at that

Why? So I can keep fucking up and so this shit can get even progressively worse. What would talking to someone even do?

Such is the nature of elderly roasties like your mum

Because you don’t know that you might feel better later. You will. Things might not get better but you can handle it if you get better. Try meds or therapy before doing this. You’re probably really young and haven’t lived yet. Please reconsider

well, I'm not the one who's gonna get report for animal abandonment(which now is quite an ugly thing to get reported on) when judiciary agents do the vacate procedure and just find four fucking cats there, for fucks sake the last guy who did such a thing got a 8month jailtime(AND HE HAD TO DO THEM, a rare thing in Spain for lower than 2year sentences)
hell I'm still going there(in part because apparently I'm also the one who gotta clean it) and giving them food.
BUT IT FUCKING SUCKS, hell knowing they're there like fucking abandoned because I can't keep them in this new home it's breaking me in infinity+1 pieces inside.
Man, being a true social hermit sucks now, if I actually socialized maybe I could've gotten them a home but no, I suck in that aspect.

This feels like a call for attention/ help more than anything else. So yeah, calling bait..

Why would assume this is bait?

not him but you're in a place where you have to discern shit by seeing how does people express themselves in written words.
>t. that neet with a cat abandonment problem

You didnt need to specify anywhere in that post you were a girl.

Your problems of unemployment, feeling useless, not having a SO are not gender specific. Even your question itself isnt gender specific.

Suggestions are just the same you know, go out and meet people, arent you the user say you had many online friends? So make them real ones. I mean i am all for making online relationships real things, so why not that?

And dump them after having sex sith them? Are you one of those guys who brag about "oh i took this many girls virginities from Jow Forums"?

near 30 in therapy. lived enough for us both.

What kind of slut are you? I never said I had sex with them. I'm looking for a wife not casual sex is that incomprehensible to a whore?

Been feeling anxious today. I'm not sure why.
This seems to happen to me a lot more lately.

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30 isn’t old.

I'm so fucking desperate for a girl to talk to on a consistent and regular-ish basis

No, thanks. It's not real. It means nothing.

I'm going through a crisis internally.

I'm 21 years old but I know I'm not getting any younger and I feel like I can already see whats ahead- failure. Because of choices I've made.

I broke up with my ex because of some serious flaws she had that would've brought me down... But I still miss and have love for her. I feel like sometimes I made a mistake. But it's too late now. She's in a relationship that's lasted longer than what we had, but I haven't loved anyone else since. It was strong and I miss you... I'm sorry for leaving you so harshly, it was immature and it went against my character as a man.

I quit my job because I had a major epiphany that working in such a hostile work environment was making me super unhappy. I still have the National Guard and I'll be deployed in September but I'm still a lame fuck with no job and living with my parents with no income.

I didn't even give my two week notice. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life. I've thought about becoming an electrician when I get back from deployment and I hope to god I can finally settle down with that kind of work steady.

I'm very lost right now. I feel like I've already messed my whole life up. I tell myself that when my parents are dead and there's nobody to mourn me as much as them, I don't know what will stop me from committing suicide.

Yeah, it kind of is gender-specific. Context matters.

I'm going through a crisis internally.

I'm 21 years old but I know I'm not getting any younger and I feel like I can already see whats ahead- failure. Because of choices I've made.

I broke up with my ex because of some serious flaws she had that would've brought me down... But I still miss and have love for her. I feel like sometimes I made a mistake. But it's too late now. She's in a relationship that's lasted longer than what we had, but I haven't loved anyone else since. It was strong and I miss you... I'm sorry for leaving you so harshly, it was immature and it went against my character as a man.

I quit my job because I had a major epiphany that working in such a hostile work environment was making me super unhappy. I still have the National Guard and I'll be deployed in September but I'm still a lame fuck with no job and living with my parents with no income.

I didn't even give my two week notice. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life. I've thought about becoming an electrician when I get back from deployment and I hope to god I can finally settle down with that kind of work steady.

I'm very lost right now. I feel like I've already messed my whole life up. I tell myself that when my parents are dead and there's nobody to mourn me as much as the, I don't know what will stop me from committing suicide.

No it isnt. If context actually matters than where are you from? Because i know of at least a way to remove one of your problems.

Are there no violence or abuse outreach services where you live? Or would you likely be too old or male to take advantage of them?

Be electric man work with men

Did you kill her? Looking back, I wonder if you gave her that last shot of morphine to kill her.
Would anyone blame you? Would anyone know? Her body was cremated.
What did she die of, anyway? Respiratory failure? God, that was a lot of morphine.Was anyone keeping track of dosage? Was that all you? Did you give her any extra? That bottle sure vanished in a hurry after she died.
I don't like the way you kept joking about the will. I wonder how you really treated her and what you really said when you were alone with her. I don't like how many times you told her to go, to let go, that it was okay to let go, all of these things asking for her to die in the days leading up to her death. I know you were sick of her and that you wanted her gone. I know you pride yourself on being able to do the hard things that must be done. You said as much a week before her death.
It's not like I can exhume her body and make a case that COD was respiratory failure from an opiate overdose. But you know what? I think you euthanized her out of fatigue and despair.
That woman sang to me. She read me stories. She wiped my ass and powdered my balls. She kissed my wounds better and let me cry on her. She slept in the same bed as me until I was 8 years old. She tucked me in. She let me watch TV with her even though she knew my eyes weren't really closed. She put my clothes in the dryer on cold mornings so they would be warm when I put them on. The smell of her cpoking or the sound of her lullaby woke me up each day. She loved me. She was there when I was confused or grieving. She still loved me and encouraged me as she was dying and her brain was shutting down.
And I have this knot in my guts wondering if maybe you put her down. If you murdered her.
I am a patient man.

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God help me. I am so dead.

>I love a girl
>She might be a distant cousin
>Her current relationship is falling apart
>We kissed last night
>Felt kinda wrong, but really right too

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Is she blood related? How distant?

I need to learn how to take a proper day off.

this is fucked up because I've had a situation like this. Wasn't a blood related cousin but it's still such a taboo thing in society. If she's not blood related, have fun... but be careful

Something like 3rd cousins at the worst. Might only have been by some obscure marriage somewhere.

Legally, you're fine then. You can keep kissing her and even nut in her if you wish.
Jokes aside though, the only issues might stem from family members, but if you can work past that, I wish you the best of luck, friend user

They are going to kill me.

I know. It's getting hard to introduce her to people because she defies classification.
>Can't introduce her as a cousin because we have really cute flirty shit in public too and people will think it's weird
>Can't introduce her as the GF because she's just... not
>Can't be just a friend because things are accelerating well beyond that now

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I doubt I'll ever get nudes from her, but little by little, I'll eventually get a more risque ass picture from her.
I just wish her insecure bf didn't make her stop posting on Facebook

All her family really likes me. For a while there I was the "adopted son" to her mom.

maybe if i kill myself before it all goes down and they will leave him alone

Third cousins produce the healthiest babys

I'm utterly repulsed by porn/nudity/sexuality because I was sexually abused by my dad until I was 16. I'm one hundred percent attracted to women but I've never had sexual thoughts about them. Whenever I liked a girl at school or found an actress beautiful, I fantasized about kissing/holding/touching them. I genuinely can't even picture them naked, even if I try to, and I actually cringe whenever I see breasts, a penis or a vagina. Watching porn gives me genuine anxiety

I'm also utterly terrified of talking to women, but that's due to years of horrible experiences because I'm ugly as shit and have no social skills.

He's so cute and I can't handle it and I don't know what to do and I don't have a lot of time left to do it

So stupid, huh? Shyness is a curse

A large Canadian city.

I love robots so much. I don't so much care for programming but I hope someday I will finish my AI gf and put her into the body of a robot.
The perfect wife.
And all mine.
That said, why do humans have so many emotions? It's a nuisance. Some emotions cause other emotions, some emotions are related to somesthetic and those just can't apply to a program. They really are empty with all those neurons fueling their need of survival.

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Why the fuck do I wanna off myself even when I'm not unhappy? I don't give a shit about being content and I don't know why. I just wish I didn't exist.

Holy shit I’m miss this guy so much. We dated, but he ended kinda with me when he moved back home and realized he wasn’t going to come back and there’s no point in dating someone who lives miles away from u. We also weren’t official and we only dated for a little while. Even so, we liked each other and so when he ended things with me I was crushed. Ofc I got over it after a few weeks, or so I thought. I’m flirting with other guys again and trying to find someone worth dating date, and all I’ve gotten out of it is the realization that most guys at my Uni are so fucking lame and boring like all the guys I run into or attract only care about talking about themselves. My lack of interest in them also has nothing to do with their appearance. A lot of them are okay or physically attractive by conventional standards, yet they’re just not my type and although I’m down to hook up with them. All the conversations I have with them revolve around their interests and hobbies, what tv shows they watch, what music they’re listening to, their drug experiences, and their dogs. And again, I don’t mean to pigeonhole all the guys at my Uni but holy shit trying to put myself out there and date, flirt, hook up, with other guys has been such a antagonizing process and all it’s doing is making me to realize I’m still not over this dude and I miss him even more than I did around the time he ended things with me. He wasn’t even look incredibly handsome or anything, but he was exactly my type and he was so laid-back and so easy to be around like I never had to question whether or not he liked me because I just knew.

Either way, he’s not coming back and I don’t want him back. I’m fairly certain this guy hardly thinks about me.

But even though I don’t want him back in my life, I just want a guy who can make me feel the same way he did.

I wish the girl I like wrote that. Anyways, go for it girl, it's much less risky for a girl to ask out a guy than the opposite.

I was also/still am very tipsy typing this

God and here I thought I was the messy bitch but it was you all along, you toxic fuckboy

mother, child trafficking is a serious problem, and you should stop buying clothes at Zara, and no, kids who work in slave factories are not whiny and their work are not equivalent to household chores a normal kid does. Stop defending these companies

(girl that I dated for 2 years during high school), it makes 7 years since I saw you, but I still dream with you, why destiny was so cruel with us?

You could kill yourself or you could make a different major change. Something just as drastic but maybe for the better. You're going to die some day anyway. Life is too precious to waste. It's nearly a miracle that we, or any life, exists anyway. This while picture is so much bigger than any one of us.
Please don't kill yourself. You can't give up just yet. Not yet. There's always still hope. There's always a way to change things.

Has anyone actually gotten helpful advice from this board? I'm genuinely curious

Yes but I don’t take it...

Kinda worried now that my migraines are coming back. When I was a kid I had pretty awful ones like everyday. Maybe I should check it out.

Yes but not much.

Helpful is subjective. But i try to give advice when I feel i truly can

That's what your mum thinks?

Be pic related
Im afraid Ill never find someone I like that likes me back, its either I like them and thye just dont feel the same way or they like me and I fucking hate them.

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This pic slightly rumbles my johnsons because it should say "pagliaccio", instead of the plural "pagliacci".

i had sex with my best friends ex like 3 months after they broke up and i’d know it hurt him if he found out. i would joke about it and he would get upset but one thing led to another and we ended up fucking anyway. is three months too short of a time? she said that she wanted to move on and that’s why she had mingled with a few dudes before me. am i in the wrong here?

I think it's supposed to be a surname which is why it's plural.

Im really surprised yall caught that. people usually dont notice these.

Based upon the fact that the Wojak is dressed like a clown, I doubt it's a surname.

could someone help me

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your coworkers.

You'd complain about Chet Baker's name being Baker if he wore a baker's apron and hat.
Also, the joke people associate with Pagliacci is that he's a person. He says "I am Pagliacci" not "I am il Pagliaccio".

Elaborate. I'm all ears(eyes?).

It'll be hard to get her bf to put her guard down while you're tryna get tiddy pics from her. Do you have the ability to wait until she's drunk?

They won't. It's not worth it. With you gone, it might even encourage them.
And what happens when they don't leave him alone? Now you're dead, and there's absolutely nothing you can do in the least.

talking to people on tinder is harder than irl because the initial contact is based on (my) desire or attraction, rather than circumstance. I get more nervous on tinder than in real life. The fuck is going on with me?

I want plastic surgery, and I'll never feel complete and comfortable until I get it.

Sounds like a mental problem. Therapy is a taboo in some social circles, but I've heard some really inspiring results from it. Alternatively, it could come from and medication you're currently on. Anyways, talk to the therapists beforehand so you know what to expect and don't hesitate to ask him any questions you might have.

No one seems to understand me. I don't even feel like a real human being considering how just absolutely no one gets me! I don't get it! It was a mistake for me to be born on this planet. I don't even feel human.

Shut up, i don't "dream with" you and hardly did then. I liked the way being seen with you feels.

Recently joined a new friend group. There's this one guy... I'm not sure if I have a crush. People enjoy having crushes, but this feeling is negative and I don't want to have it.

Symptoms: I really want him to be attracted to me, I always notice if I've made him laugh with a joke, I want to look at his face, I wish I could be his confidant and have him feel like he can tell me all his secrets and share his innermost thoughts and feelings. BUT I don't enjoy being alone with him, being around him makes me lose my confidence and start to dislike myself, I don't like a lot of his personality and don't think we'd truly get along. I wish I could carve this feeling out of my body. I feel embarrassed that I care about his opinion of me. Instead of fluttering butterflies in my stomach, he gives me fluttering knives in my stomach.

I think the core thing is that he's hard to connect with, and is extremely confident and charismatic in a way that makes me feel like he doesn't need another friend (me) in his life. My therapist says that the feeling I have sounds like I really crave his validation. That's true. I really want him to be interested in me. It's so dumb. I'm so embarrassed by it privately. I am usually a confident person who derives validation from achievements and an internal sense of self, and I don't overthink what others think of me. This guy makes me feel like a weaker person. I wish I could turn off the switch in my brain that perceives him as being any different than other people, I hate relying on another person's attention for positive feelings.

Is this just attraction? Attraction plus something else? If I could rip it out of my body, I would. I thought he was objectively really weird looking, that most people wouldn't agree that he's handsome af, but apparently he's very popular with women, which makes me feel even more embarrassed!!! Like I'm just another dumbass in the long line of dumbasses who like him! Another chump that got reeled in.

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Its been almost a year since we broke up, I know in my heart and soul it was the right choice, you wanted kids and i didnt, we knew that before be started dating for almost 4 years and we still took that risk, The only pain was the pain of moving on for no reason other than necessity and honesty and overall ive been ok but fuck all if lately i haven't woken up every other night wishing you were there
Its just the memory of you, i know theres no turning back the clock and i dont think either of us would ever go back on our decisions
Youve ALWAYS wanted kids and though i still sense indifference in myself, im pretty sure I don't want them
I just don't know what to do, i reached out to you a few times within the first month of our break up and we've sporatically hung out after the dust cleared and caught up, i know we still care about each other as people but a safe distance is probably what's kept us so sane over the last year
I just don't know why the memory of you haunts me and i love and hate it

Also brianna im sorry, we'll probably break up soon but thats why i wanted to take things with you so slow, i didnt start dating you as a rebound or anything, i genuinely enjoy your company and your person but we've had almost no time for each other lately and its no ones fault, i just hope this doesn't break your heart too much because i know you like me more than i like you, ill be careful i promise

I got a life

It's not that impressive, but it's a life

Starting out as a first res ponder and EMT going to Paramedic

I get shit on by people all day and I'll never make the big bucks, but I will make the Upper Middle Class bucks and I a totally fine with that.

You wanted to see my hand- I have 4 Jacks

youtube.com/watch?v=pTA0DSfrGZ0

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I'm in a very similar situation, though I wasn't abused, just a mix of the right kind of circumstances (Death, neglect, coddling, instability) that fucked me up. Technically I do have the option of turning to my family (or at least two of them) but I want more than anything to get away from them instead but I can't. I know that I don't have "real" problems that would cripple me emotionally, but that only makes it a bit worse given the fact that I am anyway.
Probably not gonna help, but I honestly feel like you're putting too much focus on "NEEDING" to find love when you don't. For what it's worth or not worth, this is coming from a lonely virgin too. I'm trying to focus on getting my life back on track before I worry about how lonely I am now. I don't want to weigh someone down with my emotional baggage just because I myself want love for my personal reasons of self fulfilment, I want to be at least someone worthy of love in the first place. I'll get there eventually though, or maybe not, depending on how quickly I act. Killing myself because I won't get to fuck a girl seems kind of pointless since I'd be effectively ensuring that it will never happen in the future.
See above.
Sometimes you just need to take a moment to breath. Worrying only becomes a problem when you leave I control you and that's all you can do.
Don't be a fucking cunt and try to solicit someone else's partner. That's kinda fucked up. He's probably not so much insecure as you're more of a selfish fag. Not like you'll read this or care about this opinion anyway.
I think all of that is okay and you are not any less of a person for thinking or feeling that way. I also think you should slowly try to overcome these fears as they are likely holding you back from being yourself though. I can't exactly give good advice on social skills but I think a lot more people are open to talking to you than you think, no matter how you look or feel.

I am caught up in something terrifying and I'm all alone.

Oh do tell