ITT: Ask the Opposite Sex Anything

Most of the time it's just a pound of flesh that gets in the way sometimes. When you get a boner it feels, like, idk your hand curling up into a fist on its own, giving a sense of pressure. And it's screaming for attention and touching it feels good. So logically you're feeling compelled to slam it into anything and everything.

Should've given more context. We dated for a while, not very seriously though because I've been away from home often for my studies. I've been away from home for 3 months now. I kinda assumed he moved on but he started messaging me again, but it's hard for me because he does this kind of stuff.

I still think about him a lot desu

I wish I had a dick, it sounds much more fun.

>who wants to test drive my new mouth?
As you know, I had surgery at the start of this month. Could I add something like that to my OkCupid profile?

Thanks user! Idk why, but dicks really fascinate me.

Why would you text when you can make the effort to conversate in person?

I mean you didn't really answer the question. To put it more simply, would you like to date him currently?

If yes, try pushing back with a bit more effort to probe his level of interest. I would say that the vast majority of guys, if they're messaging a girl with no clear reason, are romantically and/or sexually interested in that girl.

ANYONE ?

Dude this is like asking someone to look in a crystal ball. How in the world should we know what she thought of it? She could've been nervous and happy to talk over it. She could've been delighted. Both would've elicited the same outward response if she has some self control. Given the fact that you were on a date and she was hinting at a second date it's safe to assume she enjoyed it, but that's about the only meaningful thing to say about it. Just go on a second date.

When I'm back home I think I'd like to try again yes. And I don't know wtf to say, I try to be interesting and engage him but it doesn't work. He's not the most chatty person, but even so I don't know why he's texting me first if he won't put even a bit of effort in continuing a conversation... It kind of makes me feel like the only reason he texts me is to see if I still have any interest left
Well I'm in another country right now. Texting wasn't an issue when I was home, we'd only use it to agree when/where to meet for dates

Hu are you obvious or something? If she's letting you do it that's a good thing. Did you actually get this kiss?
If yes, then guess what, it's a good thing.
Hinting at another date? It's a good thing.
What is the question here?

Hey girls
I ingested 40mgs of THC and it's been months, almost a year since I ever touched a pipe.

So should I worry or will I be alright? I just realized and it's too late for me to stop it.

Whatever women are on this board: when your ex girlfriend says she wants to be friends even though she just dumped you for for another man, what does it mean? We spent almost four years together and were recently having some issues, but she basically gave up when it was convenient, so i'm confused.

I can't read her mind, but in my opinion she doesn't want to be your friend.
She's trying to be nice and communicating she cares about you.

Unless you have gotten to the point where you about hate your partner by the time you break up, it is very painful and difficult to dump someone. She knows that you will likely feel tossed aside, ruled not good enough, rejected, worthless, you name it, but just because you no longer see a future being in a relationship with this person doesn't mean you have anywhere as strongly a judgment on them. She likely feels you are an amazing guy who gave her a lot, someone special enough to give all her love to for years, but no longer the person she sees a long term relationship/marriage with.

"I want to be friends" is a weak, stunted attempt to convey that there's still appreciation, gratefulness, love, a feeling of being connected etc. It is a way to say, despite no longer seeing a future with you I still really value you in my life.

This is of course the best case scenario. People do say it sometimes just to try to smooth over the bad news (like that ever works), or for selfish reasons, simply wanting to keep the good stuff despite not wanting to meet their needs anymore in a relationship. But imo that's less likely.

Having said this you don't owe her shit and I definitely recommend taking a big step back and giving yourself time and space to heal. If she truly respects you as a person she will understand that and want what's best for you.

What's up with girls who text me first, are flirty, but when I ask them out they say they're busy, cancel last minute, and possibly ghost too?

What's the point?

Is there a way to half ask someone out and half ask them if they could at least be your friend if she doesn't have a bf, but like say it in a way that doesn't fuck everything up?
This is such a weird entrance point. I have to email her and tell her that I'm a friend of her ex, at this point. I thought it was okay I'd just take the risk and see what happens, but this is really, really hard... I'm not sure if she has a boyfriend or not, but I mean even then, it would be nice to talk to someone who was roughly in that old circle of friends. After all, it's an easier way to connect with someone faster who then might also know women or something instead of developing an entirely new circle...

But it's so hard to write this message.

Anyone have any idea how I can go about writing this possibly ill-advised e-mail?

Extroverted girls:
How do you show romantic interest?

I mean I want to get to know this girl better and I would want to ask her out, but I also would like to actually JUST hang out with her even if she... okay I guess I just want to ask her out.
Fuck.
Enough of this. I'm abusing Jow Forums.

Attention and to see if they are still hot to get guys.
They could have other reasons like found somebody better or she has a boyfriend.
The thing to take away from this is to not worry about it. If you asked 2 times take that as a no and move on. Women will do this All the time.

Hello famanons.
In presence of an “more valuable man”(higher market value) who is showing interest in a girl, would she love her boyfriend/husband with the same intensity as she used to do before that “more valuable man” showed interest on her.

I am in a situation where there is a dude who is richer, more confident and taller than me who seemed to have shown interest in my wife. We decided we would have our second baby soon but now that she is talking with this dude she hasn’t herself discussed about when to have baby and I am sure what her answer would be if I asked her about doing it.
Please help.

>communicating she cares about you
>broke up a 4 year relationship for another guy just like that
I'm also 90% shure she has been thinking about it for a while to but didn't do it until she found somebody.

*not sure what her answers would be

i'm a virgin with serious baggage
i have the opportunity to lose my virginity but i'm fucking terrified, and it's not because i don't trust her or i'm insecure.... i don't know really... i have a deep fear of intimacy. any tips for getting over this? i'd like to go slow with this girl but i don't think she has the patience for that, so i'm thinking about just finding someone else (which won't be hard).

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Thanks, this makes a lot of sense. For a little more context, the breakup was sort of mutual in that we agreed neither of us was happy but I still felt hurt by her spring boarding to the next guy, especially because he seems like a really successful person. She has depression and some attachment issues, which I always tried to help her through and be supportive in general, but that alone of course isn't enough to sustain love/commitment. I'm just worried she's going to lump it all on this guy as a rebound in hopes that he's going to "rescue her" from her problems, and end up having it backfire on her and trying to come back to me. The cynic in me is thinking she just wants me as a safety net and emotional support, but I'm not waiting on her like I would in the relationship. I have my own goals and am pretty content on my own.

This is really hard...
;_;
Okay I'm not abusing Jow Forums this is one of the very reasons I'm going to counselling.
I still want a response. I mean hopefully I can get this written before then, but its taken me hours already...

Girls

What was the length of your longest dry spell?

>she doesn’t have patience
If she can’t wait for you to be comfortable with sex. Then you should dump her. She’s probably a whore.

alright
i'll start looking for someone else

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Good.

But for real. If a girl can’t wait on you to be comfortable with having sex then she is probably a whore. A nice girl would be willing to wait. Infact, this is an advantage for you because it’s a good way to test to see if a girl is nice or a slut

>be 29, female
>only ever been in two relationships
>never been asked out in life, had to be the person to approach
>last time you instigated a relationship was asking a friend to to ask your crush if he had a gf in sophomore year of high school
>can't tell if guys at work are being friendly or not
>lack of self-esteem from never being asked out fucks with confidence and too afraid to flirt with anyone anymore

What the fuck am I supposed to do at this point, just get old and die?

she wants sex and all i want to fall asleep on her chest while listening to her heart beat

>>lack of self-esteem
Start lifting (correctly) ie- get a personal trainer to show you what to do.

Well she’s probably not a nice girl.

If she actually loves him, then yes. I’ve literally had a “more valuable man” (more skills, taller, fitter, more money, objectively 8/10, etc) express clear interest in me and still had no interest myself when in the past I would have, because I love my husband and he absolutely perfect for me

You're good.

Put on some Hendrix, order a pizza, and have fun. You'll be sober by midnight.

you're right
she isn't

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I used to lift in my early 20s actually. That was when I was single the longest, but I was pretty happy with that at the time. Not sure what it would do for my romantic endeavors.

It CAN help your romantic endeavors. How? Because it sounds like you have poor self esteem. Which, that alone will greatly reduce your chances of getting dates.

If you start lifting and exercising at the gym regularly, you will start to feel more comfortable in your own skin. Which will improve your self esteem. So not only will you look physically better, but you will feel mentally and physically better too. It’s a win-win.

That's a lot of mars and venus symbols.

ugh i just asked her to hang out again
why am i so weak

f here.
Should I shave my entire head? I'm not attractive so it's not like I'll ever get a boyfriend who'd care either way. I'm just worried about the repercussions of being able to get a job and I definitely know it'd be against my family's wishes.

Pathetic

idk if this is just for girls to answer but
If I ask someone out, and it's a person I'll be seeing a lot.
Will it be really awkward to keep seeing her if she says no?

Neo-nazi much?

Improving your looks obviously would help. That's why the other user suggested working out, I guess.
Men function in a linear model, evaluating your appearance before other factors, and if that doesn't pass the test, you're shit out of luck. So first things first, you should try to look the best you can within your genetic/age/income restrictions. Bonus: you'll also feel better about yourself, as you noted from your early 20's.

If you make a big love confession, then yes. If you just ask if there's something between you two, and if she says no you just answer that it's what you expected and were just making sure, then no.

If a girl asks you to sing a romantic Karaoke song with her does it mean she likes you? I was at Karaoke with her and some of her friends and her two friends were up on stage singing and she looked at me and said "we should go sing a romantic song together :) " I don't know why she specified a romantic song.

Only if you make it awkward. If it's a coworker, probably don't. If it's a class/school, do it. Awkwardness is normal and you can't just avoid seeing people. If she rejects though, at least you've made yourself known.

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lmao. If you looked up clueless in the dictionary it would have a picture of you [spoiler]if dictionaries has pictures.[/spoiler]

I remember when I had my first beer

Need more information to tell. Does she give you other signs? How would you describe the tone when she asked you that? Did her friends looked as if they knew something you didn't, or were they nonchalant about it? Context is important, the medium is the message.

are you suggesting he is not clueless?

But is not it against your rationals? Don’t you think you made a bad game decision?You are getting an upgrade for free, what is the point of not taking it?

I cannot afford in my capacity to buy her mortgage free house. This guy is financially independent and live in big house owned by their parents. I am really fucking worried.

What is your argument to justify that you made right decision, when it seems wrong? Love? Love only exist when other partner is ready to live up to your expectations.

Ask her out again, nimrod.
2 years, on purpose, while in a relationship
Why not just dye it, "accidentally" ruin it, then your family won't be mad about you shaving it.
>It is expensive for women to do shit without social reprocussions, I know and understand.

They were up on stage when she asked me so they didnt hear her say it. She was looking into my eyes and smiling when she said it. She had also had her hand on my arm. I was rubbing her leg with my leg too and she seemed to like it as she didnt move her leg away but at the same time she didnt really say anything specific about me rubbing her leg.

>not fucking 2 years while in a relationship
But why?

My gf is really affectionate with me. Always hugging me, holding my hand, doing really cute shit like that. I was physically abused as a child (though not severely, I still feel a little weird when I make physical contact with other people, so making the first move with hand holding for instance was her) so I feel like I'm being really cold towards her whenever she does that. I hug back and kiss her on the forehead, trying to be as responsive as possible. I want to do these things with her but I feel it's not the same energy despite me wanting to give off that same energy to her. How do I be more affectionate?

Guys who successfully asked out a female friend of theirs, how did you do it ? Like how did you formulate it, in what context (where, when, etc), how did you bring it up, stuff like that. Thanks

get rid of her

Lost attraction because they had made an empty promise to lose weight while having weight related medical issues, while already 2 years deep into the relationship. Ended up just heightening their jealousy so I dumped them.

Okay, then there's a good chance that she's into you. Physical contact is a great sign, cause it's plausible deniability. Don't expect her to say anything about it, that's the point of it. Anyway, just escalate the next time you guys are together: sit close together, pull her close playfully and see it she doesn't pull away, lay your hand on her knee while you're talking, maybe put her legs on top of yours, hold one of her hands, etc. The trick is to do it casually and not look at where you're touching her. If she doesn't pull back, just let the conversation stop and then close in for the kiss.

What if I told you, you can do both and not be gay?

There's an autistic weeb at my college who keeps trying to hit on a female friend of mine, and I happen to like her. Despite her telling him several times to fuck off, he'll try to make moves on her at least once a week and she's too nice to get mad at him. What should I do ? I don't want to be too defensive with her cause I'm not her bf but at the same time I'd like to help her. We already have a lot of fun laughing at this dude together

haha you're getting alpha'd by an autistic weeb

well I should point out that we are work colleagues kind of. We work for the same company in different departments so should I try this stuff out at lunch or should I leave ot for outside work?

Fake being her bf with her? Start telling him everything he's doing wrong? Keep laughing it up, knuckle head?
Whatever, if you want her, definitely don't emulate autismoweeb9000.

Because she was fucking some other guy on the side.

Check'em. Also, maybe read on the 5 languages of love and then tell her about it, so she won't feel bad that you express your feelings in other ways that aren't physical.

Would advise against it. There's a ton of women out there that you won't have to:
a) Convince to see you in a different, more favourable light than she's seen you for so long, and
b) Won't make your social life awkward in case she's not interested.
Chances are, if this female friend of yours felt any attraction for you, you'd have known by now.
My advice for now on: when you meet a girl you think is interesting, don't be friendly with her, be flirty.

Long story short: Two exchange students, live in same complex, hooked up twice. The second time she cancelled our plans at the very last minute but I basically ordered her to come, which she unironically found super hot.

Anyway, it bothers me that every time I try to initiate something, she initially pulls back/refrains herself whatever but caves after I order her to. It's as if that's a part of her game idk.

Couple days ago I declined an invitation for a drink saying I have other plans. She responded jokingly: "Glad to know I'm replaceable ;p". 15 min after she sent: "Sorry that was a weird message, have fun!".

I responded with: "Dummy if I didn't find you attractive/unique I would have been long gone. Don't worry, you're still in my harem top ten."

Do you think she'll take it as the joke that it is? Again I have no idea how to gauge her actual interest in me or how insecure she actually is. Also what's up with the command fetish?

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That was actually while I was only identifying as a cringey "triad seeking a third woman" but he was fucking hideous so I only got crazy or fat women I wouldn't/couldn't touch. I knew my potential by the end of the relationship, but I was stupid and young, needing an escape.

It's likely not going to work because she might have already subconsciously friendzoned you but I don't think that should mean give up all hope. Ask her to get coffee (1 on 1 but don't say that. Just make sure you're alone with her). You should hang out a while as friends (1 on 1) but after the 3rd time or so find some time when she is alone and ask her out by saying "will you go out with me?" or something like that.
Spoiler alert: 9 times out of 10 you will ruin your friendship if its close and she says no.

Oh. Wow. Dude, in this case, I would recommend you just drop the case. Don't shit where you eat.

But I should ALSO point out that she is leaving the company in the next month.

>Do you think she'll take it as the joke that it is? Again I have no idea how to gauge her actual interest in me or how insecure she actually is.
She's very attracted to you. She'll think you're only sort of joking and believe that you actually have other girls lined up. She'll be more attracted to you because of that.

>Also what's up with the command fetish?
Most women have a variation of this, not joking. You're being dominating, which is a masculine trait.

Lol! Enough with the curve balls, user!
Okay, in this case, go for it, but not during work hours.

How can I get my fwb to fall in love with me? I think I'm already getting to him, and I do all the post-coitus cuddling and massaging to get that love hormone working, but I'm wondering if there's somethings more I can do.

Good to hear a second opinion that coincides with what I instinctively feel.

Do you think it's possible to push it too far though? As in, she perceives me as nigh unreachable? Out of her league so to speak, so she'll keep sort of deluding herself into thinking I'm not actually into her, making plans harder and harder? Again that insecurity of hers is a real pain. Like a monkey wrench.

> Most women have a variation of this, not joking. You're being dominating, which is a masculine trait.
Interesting, can you expand a little bit?

But what about at lunch time if I'm sitting next to her in the canteen? Could I chance touching her leg with mine?

Bump

>Do you think it's possible to push it too far though?
Yes. She might run away just to avoid the potential rejection if you push it too far. Based on the limited information you gave, I'd say you're doing fine. Keep teasing and being playful, but treat her a bit nicer the day after sex. Be sure to send her at least a text.

>Interesting, can you expand a little bit?
Not sure what to expand, but I'll try.
Humans are animals, and we're talking about what boils down to a mating dance. The human male will look for fertility cues on the human female, which are things we instinctively perceive as attractive. These are feminine traits, such as wider hips, youthful features, ample bossom, etc.
The same way, the human female will look for masculine traits on the human male. These include not only the obvious physical traits, such as height and muscularity, but also behavioural ones, such as assertiveness and dominance.
While many women might say that they want an equal partner, the truth that their behaviour shows is that they prefer a man who is stronger and in control.
If you're interested, I suggest the book My Secret Garden, it's an interesting read.

Sure you could. But your objective should be to get another situation like the karaoke one, outside of work. Preferably, a situation where you two can excuse yourselves from the rest of the group for a while. Or maybe you could just ask her out for drinks after work.

Much obliged

Hmm that's interesting, I never saw it like that. We've been in the same friend group for a year but I've only started really talking to her 3 months ago, so idk if that's the idea of female friend you had in mind, if that changes anything. I only developed feelings for her 2 months ago so I didn't flirt with her before.
We're not close, we're just in the same friend group and we talk a few times a week. Honestly if she says no i don't really care, I've lost the ability to care about this kind of stuff so I would just act as if nothing happened I guess. I don't like the idea of going out for coffee tho, that's too ambiguous and I hate uncertainty. I think I'll ask her directly if she's interested in being more than friends

Okay, that's good because I thought you guys were close. Honestly bro go with at least one "coffee date" (doesn't have to be coffee, something really casual though) but just by yourselves. Then ask her out another time. Doing the more-than-friends immediately is more prone to fail.

Hm, I see. So you're acquaintances instead of friends. That can work. I'd recommend against developing feelings for girls before you have sex with them, though. That tends to blow up on your face.
Anyway, I second the other user's suggestion: ask her out for coffee or anything simple. Don't try to reinvent the wheel, it's just an excuse for you two to be alone with plausible deniability and she knows it.

Coffee seems to be the consensus... However I don't drink coffee and she knows it. Would it be weird to ask her out for coffee knowing that I don't drink it or would it make it special that I started drinking it because of her ? Thanks

>I'd recommend against developing feelings for girls before you have sex with them, though
I don't do casual sex at all. Different cultures I guess. I'm pretty sure it's the same for her so it shouldn't be a problem
Yeah it might be better to go out once first. It's just that I like when things are staightforward and clear so playing games like that irks me. Anyways, thanks a lot user, I'll try that

just ask if they wanna get coffee with you. if she has a bf or just sees you as friends she'll say something (or she's oblivious af) in which case you can establish that you're down to just hang out as friends

some girls like to play games, its just how they are, to see if you get it and know how to play

is it true that the more quality a girl is gonna be the more mind games shes gonna play specially if shes in her teens